I'm sure many--if not most--Plank readers have spent the four days since Thanksgiving saying to themselves, "My friend/relative/significant other is a huge Mitt Romney supporter, but I just can't think of what to get him/her this holiday season." Well, worry no more! In an email entitled "The UltiMITT Holiday" (yes, apparently they've hired Kathryn Jean Lopez to write their fundraising email subject lines), the Romney campaign presents their holiday gift packages. It will cost you $250, but without a doubt the best gift is the "Gold Ribbon Package," which includes a "downloadable phone message of Mitt answering your voicemail using your name."
I'm not saying it's what I want, but there've got to be people who would get a bang out of having the Mitt enunciate their name — over and over for all their friends. And from Romney's perspective, it raises money using very little of the candidate's time. Couldn't he record 100 of these in 5 minutes? That's $25,000. And it also creates a warm feeling of connection to the donor and operates as high-quality, word-of-mouth advertising to everyone who calls him.
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8 comments:
It won't work in NYC. Jean Shepherd described the ultimate in cool for true New Yorkers, in 1972 or so, as an answering machine recording that says you don't know when you'll get home because of the [1966] subway strike.
So you'd want a Kerry recording at least, if not earlier.
Damn it!--breakfast spaghetti all over the keyboard.
If anyone I know would truly like this as a gift--would truly enjoy cuddling under a Mitt fleece while listening to Mitt's voice answering the voicemail--I truly do not want to know it. A little mystery among friends and family is a goodthing. Truly.
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Where's Maxine when you need her, anyway? Surely our holiday guru could succinctly explain how tacky it would be to shop for gifts on politicians websites.
Talk about gag gifts.
Talk about gag gifts.
Ha! Exactly.
I suppose the machine would ID Romney -- but at that point I know nobody is home and I only want to leave a message. Let me hear the beep baby, and nothing else.
A personalized robo-call from Mitt "also creates a warm feeling of connection to the donor"? OK. Ann is deeper into performance art than she's been in a while.
Even more wacky, however, is how this idea plays into the image of Mitt as the ultimate Robo-Man, the corporate guy for whom no Flip is too much Flop, the Repub's answer to the Breck Guy of the other team, etc.
Even at the level of a gag, what was Team Mitt thinking when they came up with an idea that turns him into a SNL caricature?
Surprisingly, the voice distorter used by the ghoul in "Scary Movie" sounds exactly like Mitt. You can get one of those at Radio Shack and save yourself $24,900.
Sales tax?
Income tax?
there is "gag" and there is "gag".
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