September 22, 2007

"He didn't want to get rid of prostitution entirely, since it is part of the area's history and a major tourist draw for the city."

He, being the mayor of Amsterdam.


hdhouse said...

Alls well that ends well?

Ralph L said...

End that? Well!

All ends, no well.
No ends, all well.

Trooper York said...

Chef: Hello there, children!
Children: Hey, Chef
Stan: Chef, what's a prostitute?
Chef:Dag-nabbit children! How come every time you come in here
you gotta be askin' me questons that I shouldn't be answering?!
"Chef, what's the clitoris?" "What's a lesbian, Chef?" "How come they
call it a rim jub, Chef?" For once, can't just come in here and say,
"Hi Chef. Nice day, isn't it?"
Stan: Hi Chef. Nice day, isn't it?
Chef: It sure is! Thank you.
Stan: Chef, what's a prostitute?
Chef: Uh uh! You children are gonna get me in trouble with the principal again.
Cartman: Lunchtime! I'm starved!
Chef: Oh my God. Eric?
Cartman: That's me.
Stan: Chef was just about to tell us what a protitute is.
Chef: Why do you need to know what a prostitue is anyway?!
Stan: Because Jesus told us that Kenny's a prostitute. Is he?
Kenny: Yeah. Am I?
Chef: Well, no, uh of course Kenny is not a prostitute.
Kyle: Why?
Chef: Well, because, children, a prostitute is someone who…
you could pay for certain services.
Stan: Like what?
Chef: Like keeping you company. Understand?
Stan: No.
Chef: You see, chidren, sometimes a man needs to be with a woman.
But sometimes, when the lovin' is over, the woman just wants to talk and talk
and talk and talk.

But a prostitute is someone who would love you
No matter who you are, or what you look like.
Yes, it's true, children.
That's not why you pay a prostitute,
No, you don't pay her to stay, you pay her to leave afterwards.
That's why I pays a lot for prostitutes! Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. James Taylor.

James Taylor: A prostitute is like any other woman
They all trade somethin' for sex and they do it well.
Chef: And that's why I say-
Chef and James Taylor: Prostitutes! Prostitutes! They-
Chef: Oohhhh [sees principal]
James Taylor, what the hell are you doin' in here?!
Singing' about prostitutes to the children! Get out of here

(South Park Prostitutes song)

AllenS said...

Sixteen hons
Tennessee Earnie Ford & AllenS

You hose sixteen hons, what do you get

Another case of VD and deeper in debt

Oh, my Peter, don't you drip, 'cause I can't go

I owe my soul to the VD clinic store

Ralph L said...

Very good, Allen, I can feel your personal angst.
Try "clap" for first VD and "pharmacy sto'" for VD clinic store.

AllenS said...

You're right, Ralph, about the first VD. After I had posted I realized that I should have used the word clap. However, if you ever get the clap, don't go to the pharmacy store, you'll need to go to the VD clinic. Or, so I've been told. Sometimes, I type as fast as I can, because there are some really witty people who post on this blog, and I'm afraid they'll steal my thoughts with their faster typing skills. Where in the hell is Simels?

Ralph L said...

I really like this part

'cause I can't go

because it's unchanged but has a totally different meaning.

Trooper York said...

Leon: Nothing is worse than having an itch you can never scratch
(Blade Runner 1982)

Revenant said...

If they close the Amsterdam red-light district before I get around to visiting Europe, I'm really going to be pissed.

Inspektor Friedrich said...

Oh, Revenant, you won't miss much. Those Dutch women all smell bad. You've got those well-scrubbed California girls where you are.

Anyway, don't you want a meaningful relationship?

If it's physical relief you're after, there's the Internet. And you can always mate with a gym sock in your basement. It's much less disease-ridden.

On the other side of the gender divide, several women friends inform me you would have to pry their Hitachi Magic Wands from their cold, dead hands.

You see, there are technological solutions to every problem.

Auf wiederlesen!

Revenant said...

Anyway, don't you want a meaningful relationship?

Don't change the subject. :)

Anonymous said...


You aint gonna git rid of prostitution no matter what you do. As long as you've got men and women there will be prostitution. Men want it and women got it. That's all there is to say about it.
Aside from prolonging the human race -which is an unconscious (to them) motive for men- dey aint no udder (and women gots dem too) reason or motivation for sex than that its the best thing in the world for men. And I speak about sex with a woman,not a 'god'-for-
saken faggot...especially with a woman you love,who loves you in return and with whom you share common goals in life.
Much more could -and will be- said about marraige.... But think of all hos/hookers/ safety valves that allow men to "let off steam" -just like that black minister in Tom Clancey's novel "Bonfire of the Vanities" who got paid [excuse me,'donations' to his church] to keep the lid on the "steam" of "righteous" anger...
Of course,another solution to the problem of prostitution -and to pornography...- would be to re-institute polygamy.
You see,I know it all. And,though women know far more than any man -or all men put together- women are naturally cyclical and so that knowledge does not stick with them
over the course of their cycles,
pre- or post-menopausal. With me,I
am cursed and so burdoned with it
-at least in part- because I am a disabled Traumatic Brain Injury Survivor.
So to you and all women,Ann,I say "give it up and stop trying to be men". For it not only is not possible for women (although for men,it is partly possible),it is beneath you. And you are destroying the human race.