The whole "egg salad sandwich challenge" got me thinking about "Werner Herzog Eats His Shoe":
If you don't know what the egg salad sandwich challenge is, watch the last part of last night's vlog... and check the sidebar.
You'll say Herzog does it for art, but Althouse is doing it for commerce. And also, it's much harder to eat a shoe than an egg salad sandwich. I concede that it's harder to eat a shoe, but not that I'm doing it for the money rather than art. It was for art that I made that list of 10 Things I've Never Done. And it was for art that I put a price tag on doing various things that I don't want to do. That's for art both because: 1. it's a writing riff and 2. the first thing I wrote about needing a particular amount of money to do was to go see some awful theatrical production. #1 is doing art -- not necessarily the high quality art. #2 is taking a firm stand against low quality art. Now that people are actually offering me the money, it's true that I'm taking the money, but I do see the acceptance of the money as performance art. And, of course, eating the egg salad sandwich -- on YouTube -- will be performance art.
And remember: "Our civilization doesn't have adequate images."
Bonus images:
So Charlie Chaplin ate a shoe for art.... or made art out of our feelings about eating a shoe. In fact, he was eating a prop made of licorice. But I won't cheat. I won't cheat because: 1. I'm taking real money, 2. I can't think of anything that would look like egg salad and not be more disgusting, and 3. any art that may come from this depends on my reacting to actual egg salad.
August 7, 2007
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28 comments:
Haven't you eaten potato salad with egg in it? That's the best kind of potato salad in my opinion, but I like egg salad, too. Also hard-boiled eggs, but they're better when not refrigerator cold. Just a little salt and pepper. Eggs were a staple of my single guy diet long ago - cheap, easy to prepare, good any time of day... Then again, as a kid, I'd eat raw potatoes (peeled, of course, with a little salt, again) when the need for sustenance arose. I still get a hankering for them now and then, but my family views that as very strange.
Apparently the box of wine has been replaced by 'shrooms at Casa Althouse
Hazy: I don't eat mayonnaise-style cold potato salad. I've only ever had the warm potato salad, the kind without mayonnaise.
Christopher: If I'm able to create the look of a psychedelic experience, I'm pleased with myself.
Wait...is Althouse going to make the egg salad herself?
how much would it take to get you to do some coke and watch porn?
I am definitely going to make it myself. I'm not going to eat the contents of some plastic container found in the grocery store or trust any sort of restaurant that would serve egg salad sandwiches. What the hell kind of restaurant serves egg salad sandwiches? Or did I promise to eat it at Hubbard Street Grill? If I did, I will, but it will be harder to film. If I didn't, point me to some recipes.
And "." -- no amount of money will get me to commit a crime. For one thing, it wouldn't be bloggable. A vlog of me watching porn... with the camera only on me would be completely boring, I think. Might be funny though, because of the sound. Actually, I could see doing a whole vlog series on that idea.
I don't know if I'd want to watch you watching porn. Not unless I got to pick the porn (something involving dwarves, such as Bridget the Midget or that Kasey video with the dwarf in a turban).
Really, the only statement the Egg Salad Sandwich Challenge makes is "this is the internet," because it's so bizarre and yet unsurprising that people on the internet will give you money to eat an egg salad sandwich on video.
"It's art, it's art..."
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here's the money, now go get the water boiling. You're working for us now, sweet lady A.
And no, I don't care to watch you watching porn. That would be a window into your soul of which I'd prefer the curtains be left drawn, thank you very much.
Besides, now that we have entered into a business relationship with you, there likely would be ethical and fiduciary obligations to consider.
Avoiding even the slightest hint of sexual harassment would probably be the best path for us - your employers - to take.
i know it's really obvious, but i was sure you would link this.
My recipe for egg salad:
2 hard-boiled jumbo eggs
2 scallions finely chopped
Pinch of tarragon
Salt to taste
A few generous twists of freshly ground black pepper
One large tablespoon real mayonnaise
Make sure the eggs are cold. Chop the eggs well. Combine all ingredients. Spread onto French baguette...add Romaine lettuce.
Yum yum.
egg salad is a perverse crime against decency... this challenge makes another statement: people will do disgusting things for money
_._ said... "[...] people will do disgusting things for money"
Well... yeah.
Were you never a kid, _dot_? Did you not have access to friends, worms, cicadas?
Meade:
I thank you for your generosity.
it's much harder to eat a shoe than an egg salad sandwich.
Personally... I'd rather eat the shoe.
Incidentally, the reason Werner Herzog ate his shoe is that he lost a bet with Errol Morris, that Morris would never make this documentary (which really is one of the best movies out there, in my opinion).
No one's gonna link to these?
http://youtube.com/watch?v=htKPBJjFzPs
http://youtube.com/watch?v=i-tipuaAg2Y
Remember Annie, you claimed never to have "encountered" porn. (Yeah right.)
Anyway, do this egg salad thing topless with the camera showing your breasts and I'll chip in $500.
You like the figure 500.
And you love breasts.
So, deal?
Ruth Anne: You're welcome and I thank you for your awesomeness. (And for putting Althouse up to this. Heh heh.)
You guys are so being played by Ann.
Hey, I hate chocolate ice cream...who wants to pay $100 to watch me eat some?
$100?
Smilin'Jack, You are one cheap whore.
Will you do it for ten?
I'd add paprika and celery to the recipe that's been posted. I'm also not sure that 1 tablespoon is enough mayo for two large eggs. The celery needs to be sliced along the length 3 or 4 times, and then cut horizontally, resulting in rather small pieces. Sometimes I add some red pepper. Again, that should be in very small pieces.
Meanwhile, in other sandwich related news, over here I'm going head-to-head with the StarTribune garden writer on the topic of sandwiches that feature a big slice of tomato.
Re porn: As I said in the original list of 10 things, the only porn I've ever seen was as part of a legal case, where obscenity was a question of fact. Why then do I know I would look boring watching it? Well, I just know, but if you don't believe me...
Of course, that would be obscene porn that we know would bore you. Aren't there other kinds of porn?
Peter: Garden-eating brilliance. I make the very same thing but toast the bread lightly, rub a fresh garlic clove on it, and shake a little sesame oil and soy sauce on top. Chile peppers - definitely.
Oh, Althouse -- Ingmar Bergman Bris commercials. Have you seen them yet? -- http://slatev.com/blog.html#Bergman1
Meade, thanks for your support.
As to the topic on hand, IIRC, when passing through Madison a couple years back, I noticed something in the Onion or Isthmus about something called "Eggs and Porn."
Harry Crews, a stone-cold, hilariously, brutal deep-southern writer, in his novel, "Car" (1972) wrote about "a man who is going to eat a car- because it's there. A new Ford Maverick, half an ounce a day, from bumper to bumper, in front of the country on national TV."
Might want to consider making it a part of your training regimen.
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