August 17, 2007

"The owner of the Psychic Experiences shop says she had a feeling something bad was about to happen to the signs outside her store."

Or so she said, after someone set fire to them. She's forced to add that she didn't do anything about that feeling, and that she has no insight into who set the fire except that it was probably just some kids. The travails of the psychic! Something bad happens to you, and people use it as an occasion to taunt you. If you're so psychic, why didn't you.... Oh, shut up.


Anonymous said...

Is it better or worse than "You, a law professor"?

Eli Blake said...

I'd believe in psychics if just once, I found one that didn't want my money.

I mean, after all, why should a psychic want my money? Can't they just go buy one lottery ticket when they need money?

How come you never see a headline, 'psychic makes billions in stock market?' Why don't they ban psychics from the roulette table in Vegas? Why don't we ever see a psychic introduced as the owner of the Kentucky Derby winner? Why is the NCAA bracket winner every March Madness some 21 year old geek from Enchilada State College, and not a psychic?

Heck, why don't psychics play professional sports? Wouldn't it be an advantage to know whether a fastball or a curveball was coming? Wouldn't it be advantageous to know if the other team was going to run right or pass left? One would think that an athletic psychic could earn millions and be written about in glowing terms for having 'great anticipation.'

What about professions like doctors or auto mechanics? They spend a lot of time and energy eliminating possible causes of a problem before they eventually figure it out. One would think that as psychic who knew exactly what to look for would become very renowned and very rich, very soon.

So I ask again... why do psychics need my money?

jeff said...

Oh, silly man. Because of the negative energy put out by people like you blocks their reception. Damn Skeptics. I was in Taos, New Mexico a number of years ago and had a reader come up to me in a bar and offer to do a reading. I gave him no feedback and for the next hour was entertained as he was all over the board trying to find something I would respond to. I have also amused myself in bars by doing cold readings on the girls there. You would be shocked how easy it is to make someone believe in this. I am sure this doesn't apply to this lady though. I am sure she was way over insured on her signs. In fact, I bet her dead uncle? Brother? Father? warned her about the upcoming burning. I see the letter B? J? Does this make any sense to you? Focus!

blake said...

All right, I'll play the other side on this one: Ever notice how a claim to be psychic is always expected to be defended as a claim of perfection?

It's a little like someone saying they can see, then you whack them on the back of the head and say, "Well, why didn't you see that?"

You can see. Why can't you see the winning lottery numbers? Or go to Vegas. Can't you see which slot machines are about to pay off? Oh, I get it: Your so-called "sight" is constrained by "time" and "space".

"Psychic" is an imprecise term. The ability to remote view, for example, suggests no ability to see into the future any more than just plain seeing suggests it.

I will say this though: A real psychic would probably never advertise it. Seriously, why would you ever want anyone to know?

Chip Ahoy said...

Psychics meeting cancelled because of unforseen circumstances.

Apologies, old joke.

Peter B. said...

Okay, it's time to retire that stupid joke, that implies that a psychic should be able to accurately predict every single event in the world. Leno: "Shouldn't that psychic have seen that coming?" Audience: "Ha ha ha ha ha".

No psychic has ever claimed that their psychic abilities entail watching a TV-like stream of future events covering every possible situation in the world. None has ever claimed that they have 100% accuracy, even for tiny situations. So why do comedians and wannabe comedians pretend that psychics are making such claims?

It's like Phyllis Diller's "bad husband" jokes. A high level of lameness, coupled with the fact that we have heard the same joke thousands upon thousands of times, indicates that it is time for the joke to be retired.

I have zero faith in the abilities of psychics (except in their ability to fleece folks). But that doesn't diminish the fact that the joke was lame way back when Dionne Warwick was still doing infomercials.

Chip Ahoy said...

I saw that coming.

blake said...

But at least Phyllis Diller has the laugh.

Anonymous said...

I had a bad feeling on the way to work in my car. I was just singing to my songs. then all of a sudden i got this really bad feeling. Iv had bad feelings be for but nothing like this. This bad feeling gave me goose bumps and i felt scared and worried. As i was driving i was thinking i mite have a crash. but i got to work ok. But on the way home there was a car that was in a crash and ended up in the ditch on its side. I was 2 cars away from this crash. I looked at my sister to say what the heck! Was that crash meant for me? I cant stop thinking about this situation now. As i feel that this most mean something. Why did i get that bad feeling about a car crash? The crash was also were i got that random bad feeling.