August 8, 2007

F-Cup Cookie.

If only there were a magic cookie that would cause you to put on fat only in the breasts. But what's weirder, that or the way we are love fat only when it's there?


Brent said...

Cookies won't do it - how dumb.

Everybody knows the real way to larger breasts is:

Perfect Woman Breast Enhancement System Cream

You know they're for real. They even have testimonials, like this one from Um Chong of Hong Kong:

"I have gone from a small B to a full C cup in just 8 weeks of using Perfect Woman"

jimbino said...

There are lots of folks, like Africans and Brazilians in general, who would gladly trade in big boobs for a more rounded ass.

Peter Hoh said...

At first glance, I thought this was about a f#@k-up cookie.

I've had those before. You don't realize that you're eating one, but the aftertaste is nasty.

J. Cricket said...

"the way we love fat only when it's there?"


Not true.

I think that large, flabby breasts are rather unattractive. Especially on women, oh, over 55.

Ann Althouse said...

AJD with his ADS tries to picture me naked and fails. How many times pathetic is that?

. said...

what is a f#@k-up cookie ?

J. Cricket said...

Tried to picture YOU naked?!

Uh, no.

But why, oh why, did you associate a comment about flabby ugly old women with you?!

phosphorious said...


Even MORE breasts on Althouse!!

MadisonMan said...

Isn't that magic cookie called pregnancy?

Roger J. said...

b: I do recall seeing ads in the 1950s magazines for a Mark Eden bust developer. I think it was some kind of pulley thing to increase the size of underlying muscles

Brent said...


You do have a point.

However, I confess that when I met my future wife, I only saw her pretty much from the neck up, as she was playing piano and I was with others across the room. She was obviously a fox, and I was attracted by that. Her rolling commentary about the music was witty and smart. Wow! Not only beautiful (at least the parts of her I could see), but she was talented AND witty AND intelligent AND funny, and I just had to meet her.

I wasn't really surprised to find that she was in great shape and (forgive me, Mary)"stacked".

Anyway, I'm frankly still amazed after 25 years of marriage that she chose me.

But, again, I'm also not complaining.

Hey said...

F-cup??? a full B or a C is far superior. Decent size, will retain shape longer, won't sag as drastically, and many fewer stretch marks. Very few women with naturally large breasts have pert, round ones. Even fewer actually look good with their clothes off.

Just like everything, balance is all. Leno last night showed how unattractive D-cups could be, when Larry the Cable Guy did a topless dance on the tonight show. I proceeded to lose 10 pounds from spending three hours retching.

Fen said...

What Hey said.

But even worse is the C-D cups that look like they were inflated.

I prefer firm B-C, overlooked that to marry a D, got used to it. What a hard life I've lead...

vet66 said...

AJD seems preoccupied with the term flabby. Apparently suffering some personal experience with the term!

Especially as pertains to humor!

Cedarford said...

I agree with a previous poster about the "J-Lo" effect. I disagree that "baby got back" is an attribute of pulchritude confined to African men's, African-American men's or Brazilian men's tastes. The backside appeal is trans-ethnic, trans-racial.

The craziest ass man I ever knew was a Chinese guy 3rd in his Northwestern MBA program who ran to Battery Park to eat his lunch so he would have at least 40 minutes to watch big assed white and Asian women go by in the summer.

Maybe it's IQ-related. A study was once done that said that more intelligent men were turned on by long legs and tight butts. Then gamine-bodies. Then middle-lower IQ men went for huge breasts, and bringing up the rear, so to speak, were the guys into big, fat butts..Of course, like the nutty Chinese guy, generalizations and stereotypes always fall to Bell curve distributions.
Anthropologists of course explain the "default" - appears to be men without cultural conditioning go for pre-history "Venus Figurine" types common to all areas mankind settled - that speak to likely women's fertility and ability to breed lots of future warriors, food getters, more female breeders to perpetuate Alpha male lines - big breasts, thighs, butts, wide hips..

Given that? A "J-Lo" cookie would be a huge seller.

Of course, nothing would match the sales impact of inventing and marketing "Extender Beer" - Guaranteed to add an inch to every man for every thousand cans you drink!

Overnight, we would become a bigger land of sots than Australia or Russia are now.
And it would be a race for men to see if their "special friend" had grown appreciably before the beer belly blocked the view.

Drew W said...

I’m 47 fairly interesting years old and I swear I’ve never heard of an F-cup. Migod, I’ve been so sheltered.

Still, I saw the same thing that Peter Hoh did when I looked at that package. F-Cup Cookie, whether its claims turn out to be true or not, needs to be re-launched under a better name.

How about Aureos?

Nips Ahoy?

And if they make a fat-free brand? Stackwells, presumably.

(Yes, I know the name Ritz would lend itself quite well to parody, but there are some jokes even I won’t make.)

Revenant said...

Japanese cup sizes are, if I recall correctly, one size smaller than the American versions (i.e., a Japanese C is an American B).

But an E cup would still be pretty outrageous. Then again, the Japanese are probably the most breast-obsessed culture in the industrialized world.

rhhardin said...

As long as you're growing them, why stop at two?

Anonymous said...

I love women's breasts,the bigger the better. But above a size D (American) ?. It can be over-powering.

ricpic said...

Fat in the tuchas is good, too.

Peter Hoh said...

Dot, that was just part of my riff on the topic. I'm playing off the idea that eating a F#@K Up cookie is sort of like taking a stupid pill.

ìgbàlonígbàńlò said...

Cedarford said: Maybe it's IQ related....

Egad. Sounds like some guy I worked with who said maybe male length is inversely proportional to IQ by race and went on to infer that the Asians would be taken over the world soon enough. Egads!

ìgbàlonígbàńlò said...

And while we are on the topic, speaking as an african and a lover of all women who look good walking away.

...were the guys into big, fat butts..

Cedarford first in matters gluteus, shape & proportion to waist size not sheer size matters most. Second, too much fat as indicated by a high jiggle factor is undesirable. In fact big fat butts are hardly attractive, but then again i guess big and fat in your sentence might be comparative usage.

To exemplify, a jessica alba like figure before she became overly skinny had the perfect tapering waist that then teased out into beautiful hips and an apple shaped derriere creating as it rounds out at the bottom perfectly a locus that has within it's geometrical attributes a tasteful allusion to the leaves the mouth a little dry and in need...