"I felt like I was at some weird discotheque in some foreign country."

Randy was not digging Blake's beatboxing on "You Should Be Dancing." That, we understand. The kids are each doing two songs tonight, though, so I think they're trying to create excitement for round 2. They just kinda trashed Melinda, who can do no wrong, so you know they meant to light a fire under her. But don't attack my Blake. He's the only boy left, and he's been my favorite for so long. And look, his blond hair is coming back in a streak plastered into the hair they dyed black last week. Well, you know he'll survive on his sex alone. There are three female singers, and it's just the way voters are.

That reminds me: Paula looks so beautiful tonight. Lotsa makeup, but still... how pretty! Meanwhile, Simon's in an undershirt and he bulges out his tongue at her when she's trying to get the words together to say why Melinda's not perfect.

LaKisha gets "Stayin' Alive." Oops, they're trashing her too. "The performance was verging on scary in parts." (Simon, of course.)

Jordin... they all think she's the best. But don't get too comfortable. This can be the kiss of death. The song -- and I should say it's Barry Gibb night on "American Idol" -- is "You Don't Know What It's Like." [CORRECTION: The title of this song is "To Love Somebody."]

Melinda's second song is "How Can You Mend a Broken Heart," and she's superstitious about the line "How can a loser ever win?" She Frankenstein-walks down the ramp. In spike heels. She shifts stiffly from one side to the other. It's a little painful. She's under so much pressure. She doesn't reveal the melody and open it out gracefully the way Barry Gibb does in the original. Not that I ever appreciated the original that much before. But she gets into some dramatic flourishes toward the end. This isn't enough for me. It lacks the taste and the delicacy of the original... and what the hell am I saying? I was never a Bee Gees fan. Now, I unpause the TiVo to hear what the judges say. I bet the ate it up. They kinda did.

Blake is doing "This Is Where I Came In," which, Barry tells us, was never the hit he thought it should be. "Under the bedclothes, everything will be all right." Have I ever heard this song? I don't think so. "A really weird, bizarre choice of song," says Simon, probably hurting Barry's feelings. Seems like there's a reason that song wasn't a hit.

"Run to Me" is LaKisha's second song, and I thought it was dreary and old. She's wearing a horrible green and black dress. I think she's going to go. She looks so nervous standing there after the song. This music just doesn't fit her at all.

(Hilarious Macintosh commercial, mocking Vista.)

Jordin Sparks, doing "Woman In Love," seems to have the same makeup artist that made Paula look so great tonight. I can't help suspecting that they want Jordin to make it. I feel like they painted a target on LaKisha! But what do the judges say about Jordin? Randy's not too impressed. Neither is Paula. Simon: "It was old fashioned and actually very pageant-y." Okay. So, some harshness. So much for my conspiracy theory.

I think it's a crapshoot. You guys can vote like mad if you want. I'll check DialIdol... and buckle down and meet my deadline, now that it's crushingly close.

ADDED: Back on March 31st, I wrote:

Let me just try to pick the order that they will leave (and we can look back and see how wrong I was): Chris R., Gina, Hayley, Phil, Chris Sligh, Sanjaya, LaKisha, Blake, Melinda, Jordin. So: Jordin to win.

Though I got a bunch of them out of order, I was right about the final four. I think I'm right about the final 3 too. But often there's a shock when the #4 person goes out, so I wouldn't be surprised if Melinda got the boot tomorrow.