May 8, 2007

"I felt like I was at some weird discotheque in some foreign country."

Randy was not digging Blake's beatboxing on "You Should Be Dancing." That, we understand. The kids are each doing two songs tonight, though, so I think they're trying to create excitement for round 2. They just kinda trashed Melinda, who can do no wrong, so you know they meant to light a fire under her. But don't attack my Blake. He's the only boy left, and he's been my favorite for so long. And look, his blond hair is coming back in a streak plastered into the hair they dyed black last week. Well, you know he'll survive on his sex alone. There are three female singers, and it's just the way voters are.

That reminds me: Paula looks so beautiful tonight. Lotsa makeup, but still... how pretty! Meanwhile, Simon's in an undershirt and he bulges out his tongue at her when she's trying to get the words together to say why Melinda's not perfect.

LaKisha gets "Stayin' Alive." Oops, they're trashing her too. "The performance was verging on scary in parts." (Simon, of course.)

Jordin... they all think she's the best. But don't get too comfortable. This can be the kiss of death. The song -- and I should say it's Barry Gibb night on "American Idol" -- is "You Don't Know What It's Like." [CORRECTION: The title of this song is "To Love Somebody."]

Melinda's second song is "How Can You Mend a Broken Heart," and she's superstitious about the line "How can a loser ever win?" She Frankenstein-walks down the ramp. In spike heels. She shifts stiffly from one side to the other. It's a little painful. She's under so much pressure. She doesn't reveal the melody and open it out gracefully the way Barry Gibb does in the original. Not that I ever appreciated the original that much before. But she gets into some dramatic flourishes toward the end. This isn't enough for me. It lacks the taste and the delicacy of the original... and what the hell am I saying? I was never a Bee Gees fan. Now, I unpause the TiVo to hear what the judges say. I bet the ate it up. They kinda did.

Blake is doing "This Is Where I Came In," which, Barry tells us, was never the hit he thought it should be. "Under the bedclothes, everything will be all right." Have I ever heard this song? I don't think so. "A really weird, bizarre choice of song," says Simon, probably hurting Barry's feelings. Seems like there's a reason that song wasn't a hit.

"Run to Me" is LaKisha's second song, and I thought it was dreary and old. She's wearing a horrible green and black dress. I think she's going to go. She looks so nervous standing there after the song. This music just doesn't fit her at all.

(Hilarious Macintosh commercial, mocking Vista.)

Jordin Sparks, doing "Woman In Love," seems to have the same makeup artist that made Paula look so great tonight. I can't help suspecting that they want Jordin to make it. I feel like they painted a target on LaKisha! But what do the judges say about Jordin? Randy's not too impressed. Neither is Paula. Simon: "It was old fashioned and actually very pageant-y." Okay. So, some harshness. So much for my conspiracy theory.

I think it's a crapshoot. You guys can vote like mad if you want. I'll check DialIdol... and buckle down and meet my deadline, now that it's crushingly close.

ADDED: Back on March 31st, I wrote:
Let me just try to pick the order that they will leave (and we can look back and see how wrong I was): Chris R., Gina, Hayley, Phil, Chris Sligh, Sanjaya, LaKisha, Blake, Melinda, Jordin. So: Jordin to win.
Though I got a bunch of them out of order, I was right about the final four. I think I'm right about the final 3 too. But often there's a shock when the #4 person goes out, so I wouldn't be surprised if Melinda got the boot tomorrow.


dave™© said...

Yeah, this is a "legal" blog, all right.

Drain another box of wine, lady. You deserve it!

tjl said...

Blake is clearly less talented than the others, but he's eye-candy enough to get my vote. As we all know, ability isn't everything.

Ann Althouse said...

Sure it's legal. Check out the judges.

Ann Althouse said...

And I was drinking wine, but not from a box. This was a $34 bottle. Only one glass. But the very idea that you picture me drinking wine from a bottle, my darling dave¢£™¢, makes me want to pour another glass.

Irene Done said...

I'm glad you said something about Paula. She was wearing a black shirt with a white suit -- her own beautiful little Tony Mareno-Saturday Night Fever fashion statement. I could almost hug her for that.

Good luck meeting your deadline.

Irene Done said...

Of course I meant Tony M-A-N-E-R-O, not Mareno.

Unknown said...

Though I usually think she's the hottest thing on the show, tonight Paula looked like she graduated magna cum laude from the Tammy Faye Bakkker school of makeup.

Triangle Man said...

tjl: I, and I think many others who could care less about Blake's appearance, find Blake to be an entertaining performer. I think Lakesha has been lagging the pack for most of the last several performances.

Joe said...

Every time I think this show can't suck worse, it does.

George M. Spencer said...

An ugly bald haggard 75-year-old man singing a duet with a 50-year-old bewigged woman in a miniskirt.

Totally timeless and adorable and better than anything that's ever been on American Idol.

Durante and Ethel Merman singing "Something Stupid" ...Consummate professionals.

Kim said...

I have not seen American Idol yet, but I believe the song you are referring to as "You Don't Know What It's Like" is really "To Love Somebody", circa, if I'm not mistaken, 1967

(Sorry, been a Bee Gees fan for thirty two years and think Barry Gibb is to DIE for!)

Kim said...

"This Is Where I Came In" was the last album they made before Maurice died. It's a great song when done by the Bee Gees! It's the harmonies that make it, and it's acoustic.

I can't imagine one person pulling that song off.

Jennifer said...

Are the Bee Gees the first repeat mentors?

MadisonMan said...

It lacks the taste and the delicacy of the original... and what the hell am I saying? I was never a Bee Gees fan.

I laughed at this sentence. The taste and delicacy ... of a Bee Gees song?

Titus said...

I actually liked Blake's first performance. His second performance wasn't great; it didn't help that no one recognized the song

I actually did like Randy's comment about a weird disco in a foreign country as I have been to some of those places that he was referring to. I was thinking of Amsterdam when Randy made that comment.

I think the heavier lady is going to be leaving. She seemed so much better in the beginning of the season and has gotten progressively less interesting.

Yes, they are definitely hyping Jordan. I think it might end up between her and Blake.

Melinda is too nice. I liked the comment that Simon made to her about acting so surprised when they said she was great. It is annoying.

Also, Barry Gibb looks a little disturbing. I am not sure how old he is but he has the same hair style that he had in 1975. Also, his face didn't have any wrinkles and look way too pulled. It is remarkable that many of these aging entertainers think it is attractive to look so bizarre and unnatural.

Synova said...

Ohmygosh... go to You Tube and search Bee Gees Blowing in the Wind.

XWL said...

Ohmygosh... go to You Tube and search Bee Gees Blowing in the Wind

A thing seen, can never be unseen.

I would imagine this is best left unseen.

{{ heads over to YouTube }}

It's not so bad actually, unexpected, but not bad.

As far as the performances, I thought Blake was kind of crappy, but Lakisha is more likely to be gone.

(Did I just agree with Simon Cowell? D'oh!)

I suspect it will be a Jordin v. Blake final, but any combination of Jordin, Melinda or Blake as the final two wouldn't shock (if Lakisha makes it that far, that would be shocking).

XWL said...

Sure it's legal. Check out the judges.

For superficial reasons if you were to assign current Supreme Court Justices the task of judging Idol, Justice Thomas would be Randy, Justice Ginsburg would be Paula, but who would be Simon?

Justice Scalia?

Scalia would focus on 'original intent' any singer who strayed from past precedent and the intention of the founding songwriters would be in big trouble.

Ginsburg would seek to redress past musical misdeeds and accept more 'creative' interpretations enthusiastically.

Thomas wouldn't say too much, but would be very clear in his judgements when he makes them (he'd be accused of just going along with whatever Scalia said, though).

PeterP said...

"I felt like I was at some weird discotheque in some foreign country."

Ah, who can forget - or forgive - those 80's Greek DJ's with their improvised beat boxes?

BTW - do you people know that the greatest kitsch show on earth rolls into town once more on Saturday?

The Eurovision Song Contest no less.

Do not miss and do watch on BBC television for Terry Wogan's ascerbic comments.

Emigrate if you can't get a signal.

rogerchucker said...

Ummmm this was the worst performance by Blake... seriously, what's with the beatbox in every damn song???? Jordin Sparks all the way - cuz she has the voice and a package. Melinda has the best voice but let's face it - like my roommate said last night - she must have been a backing vocalist for a reason :)

rogerchucker said...

You've gotta be kidding me!!! Dialidol gives Blake the top spot!!! Are Americans musically-retarded??? Oh yes, you see Sanjaya was around for a reason!

Tom T. said...

I'd forgotten that the Bee Gees came from Wales. When Barry Gibb spoke, he sounded just like Darrell Hammond's SNL imitation of Sean Connery. I kept hoping he'd say "Trebek, you slut!"

Laura Reynolds said...

I would have thought they could have done better with that material then they did.

I am perhaps underestimating the Bee Gees (harmonies) but these performances are not going to change the perception of this group as mediocre.

LoafingOaf said...

If you check back in that old thread, I got the final four right too! I guess it was kinda obvious.


So when you pay $34 for wine, you don't wanna drink it fast enough to get a nice buzz? I'll stick with the $10-$15 bottles. :)

They're apparently putting good wine in some of those boxes nowadays. Although I haven't sampled 'em - popping corks is more fun. But for people who just drink just one glass a night, they might be a good thing.

Cedarford said...

I am a Beegees fan. They may have been a notch below the best of the harmonies put out by the likes of the Chilights, Beach Boys - but they still had great music, huge commercial success, and strong influence on the industry.
People forget that the Beach Boys, if you follow them, had about 20% high quality songs, 30% OK, 20% disappointing, and 30% monstrously puerile, revolting crap in their discography.

Barry Gibb was like Jeff Lynne of ELO. (another group that had it's critics) He had a second act as the producer of some of the highest quality music put out in the 80s and 90s. His work with Barbara Streisand was stunningly good!

I root for Melinda because she has the Gladys Knight thing - wonderful mellow voice with perfect pitch and enunciation going on - now that she has gotten rid of her fake surprise and being told she is talented - she needs to show some personality. (Which is not her fault - Idol has done nothing this year to really get to the contestents themselves and show their personalities. Melinda seems a genuinely nice, decent person with a good heart. I think Phil was hurt in particular by not showing viewers what kind of a guy he is...)

I wouldn't mind Blake winning. Jordan is too remindful of a Miss America contestant. And, while you can see Idol potential in Jordan and the looks driving a huge following if she drops 25 pounds -I simply can't see single Mom and beer barrel body LaKisha being a commercially successful Idol.