March 10, 2007

Rhymes with "vortex."

It seems there's some sort of competition going on for the title Poet Laureate of the Althouse Blog. Omaha1 wants it, but I think someone needs to alert Lonely Donut Man that there is a challenge.

Here's an old Lonely Donut Man contribution:
Lo! If I could'st but work my will
like a veritable nymph on the pill
would'st the uncouth have their fill
of verse and meter and prose n'er shrill
verily to forgo the Blogsphere's usual swill
Fie! Like a strumpet's fingers at the till
most bloggers be'th naught but a politician's shill

-LDM (lonely donut man)
I love poetry contests. It's cool when the competitive spirit breaks out in the field of poetry. Omaha1 opens with:
behold the frightful power of the vortex
o'er the powerless cerebral cortex
Marcotte, Campos, professors of the law
mere puppets, sucked into its cold, dead maw
Althouse! Althouse! the dreadful siren song
no blogger can resist a force so strong
no democrat is she, if she is for
Chimpy McHitlerburton's Iraq "war"
I say I'm impressed with the vortex/cortex rhyme, and Ron parries with:
Maybe if you get bedeviled by that crazy woman from Yale again, you can rhyme "vortex" with "whore text!"
From this cascade of verse, I'll protect myself with Gore-tex.


Unknown said...

Chimpy McHitlerburton.

Heh. That's good.

Anonymous said...

Ode To Ann Althouse
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Some bloggers are easily shocked
When gal lefties don't look like they're jocks.
Poor Ann can't abide
When such women don't hide
Their endowments beneath frumpy smocks.

PeterP said...

Is the Vortex, Ann,
Too much for a Texan?

Omaha1 said...

That I should have my own true thread
Contributor, lowly as I
Gives bright hope to the blogging dead
And Monarch grubs, that they might fly
Within the Althouse sun, I shine
Though blogless, striving to contend
With Althousian grace, to rhyme
Until the dark, poetic end
O Althouse! Moderate thou art,
Though "right-wing" slurs around thee fly,
True liberal thought sustains thy heart
Though Giuliani make thee sigh.

Ruth Anne Adams said...

Why would a diva limit herself to just one?

Have the Haiku poet laureate,
the free verse poet laureate,
the couplet poet laureate,
the limerick poet laureate...

There once was a poet, Ben Ameter,
with a tool of peculiar diameter.
It wasn't the size
that engendered surprise
It was the rhythm: iambic pentameter.

Ron said...

I must refine my use of sibilance,
Stated Althousianly, without ambivilance,
For though law is her core text,
she can make fun of "whore text",
And for lunch?
Turkey without all the...gibilance!

But with Fluffy Stuffin' ...from Ron

Omaha1 said...

A haiku...

Ann Althouse right-wing?
I do not think right-wing means
What you think it means.

Ron said...

Oh, I did put a poem up on my blog for your enjoyment not too long ago,

Big Willie sez, "Get yo ass outta bed!"

Hope you like it!

Omaha1 said...

Oh Sippican, I love you so,
And to your Cottage, gladly go
New England charm, abundantly,
Flows from your comments, into me.
But poetry? Can you compose?
Or are you limited to prose?
Surrender, my wood-working friend,
My muse will triumph, in the end.

Omaha1 said...

Ode to reality check

You think you are right in the middle
And Althouse's views are a riddle
She really makes sense
To those who aren't dense
Your insults just make you look little

SippicanCottage said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Omaha1 said...

Ode to a deserted beach in Nebraska

Sippican, you still amuse
E'en when you have no time to lose
Though dull may be your router bit
Sharp as a razor, is your wit.

Ron said...

S - I - double P - I
C, A, N spells Sippican!

Proud of all the blogger blood that's in 'im!

And if the trolls they bother Ann, He'll skin 'im!
Sippican, that's he!

To the tune of "Harrigan, that's he!" with a tip o' the lid to my Mjolnor-wielding fellow traveller, er, ah commenter!