March 11, 2007

Finally, people are openly admitting they don't want to sleep with their partners!

It's the new separate bedrooms trend. You know you want them. It's not about sex:
More likely, it has to do with snoring. Or with children crying. Or with getting up and heading for the gym at 5:30 in the morning. Or with sending e-mail messages until well after midnight.

In a survey in February by the National Association of Home Builders, builders and architects predicted that more than 60 percent of custom houses would have dual master bedrooms by 2015 ...

Not everyone wants to talk about it. Many architects and designers say their clients believe there is still a stigma to sleeping separately. Some developers say it is a delicate issue and call the other bedroom a “flex suite” for when the in-laws visit or the children come home from college. Charles Brandt, an interior designer in St. Louis, said, “The builder knows, the architect knows, the cabinet maker knows, but it’s not something they like to advertise because right away people will think something is wrong” with the marriage....

“As a social pattern, this could increase,” [said Pamela J. Smock, a University of Michigan sociologist.] “A lot of people I know fantasize about living in the same apartment building as their husband — but in a separate apartment. That could be next.”
And then, there's the ultimate fantasy, getting your husband to go live in another city.

But really, I love this trend and think people shouldn't be embarrassed by their personal, physical sleep needs. They should perhaps be embarrassed by leaving a larger environmental footprint, but the house doesn't really need to be bigger. The husband can be tucked away in a rather tiny room. A snug fit is better for a man.

As for sex, why not a third room? The sex room. (The architects will figure it out.) Or even a third apartment. Get a cheap, squalid one in a bad part of town so it will be like having an affair.


Anonymous said...

You should be guest blogging over at Pandagon.

Frank_Nerdster said...

I'll take what's behind door number three: An entire house to myself. Women are prohibitively overrated.

EnigmatiCore said...

"A snug fit is better for a man."

The dirtiest line on Althouse to date.

NSC said...

Get a cheap, squalid one in a bad part of town so it will be like having an affair.

Wouldn't a nice suite at the Hilton be more fun?

Anonymous said...

In more refined eras, among middle and upper class families (think 19th century England), it was expected that men and women have separate bedrooms. And they dressed separately, bathed separately, urinated and defecated separately, and sent the children off early to be trained by professionals. All in all, I'd say that was a superior formula for maintaining sanity, enduring respect and mutual appreciation.

Anonymous said...

I snore like a thunder storm in the distance. I wake myself up, for crying out loud. So from that particular viewpoint, if the spouse is a light sleeper, separate sleep areas make sense. Sleep deprivation can be a health hazard.

Wade_Garrett said...

Seperate bedrooms as a RETURN to intimacy? I'm afraid I'm missing something.

Simon said...

"As for sex, why not a third room? The sex room. (The architects will figure it out.)"

Hereinafter dubbed "the dungeon," perhaps.

George said...

Panel predicts big-house trend will shrink
By Dina ElBoghdady
Washington Post
Article Launched: 03/03/2007 02:02:54 AM PST

The "Supersize Me" era of home building might be coming to an end after a three-decade run.
The size of the average new home swelled by about 50percent from 1973 to 2006, but this trend toward expansion will probably be ending in the next decade, according to an elite panel of 135 builders, architects and designers surveyed by the National Association of Home Builders recently.
In a report released this month, these residential-construction experts said the downsizing tendencies of aging baby boomers, soaring home prices in much of the country and a fundamental change in consumer tastes will dampen future demand for ever-larger homes.

Jennifer said...

Sixty percent!?!? Yeesh. One of the things I miss the most when my husband is gone is the comforting proximity at night. I think I have one friend who revels in the extra bed space, but she constitutes a pretty small minority.

I would, however, be all for my own personal dressing room where my clothes wouldn't have to share space. It would be mine, all MINE! Not that I've thought about this.

Maxine Weiss said...

The 1970s Valerie Taylor lesbo novel: "A World Without Men"

Peace, Maxine

Maxine Weiss said...

"The Sex Room"---Althouse

Why do I keep thinking that "Converted Frat House" ???

...and how during the tour, you didn't visit the upstairs because there were things they didn't want you to see.


Peace, Maxine

Peter Palladas said...

I invented a fine porn film once - two people settling down to their PCs having great, great on-line sex. Blah, blah, blah...all the usual stuff.

Then they stand up lust fully satiated, log-off, leave their respective rooms...and join each other in the dining room for marital supper.

My friend Margo says the film's been made already.

HaloJonesFan said...

Peter: I actually read a sci-fi short story that was the inverse; two people who hate each other in person sit down at neighboring PCs and log in to a virtual-reality system where they're lovers. (the idea being that they've so completely separated their online personas from the real-world persona that they can hate the latter and love the former.)

Oligonicella said...

The husband can be tucked away in a rather tiny room.

Yes. Of course. That would be because women deserve more room than men?

No thanks. Give me as big a room as you get. I don't need it for clothes or make up. I'll set up my computers and hobby tables in there.

Ann Althouse said...

If you're going to put hobby crap in the bedroom, you damned well better have a separate bedroom. That's not good for a sleep place. Set up a separate hobby/tech room. If you need a computer in your snug little bunk, use a laptop.

BrianOfAtlanta said...

Separate beds? What's my wife supposed to do with her cold feet at night?

peter hoh said...

Hobby crap in the bedroom: girl repellent.

Bruce Hayden said...

I kinda like the idea. Nothing drives me crazier than having to get all the pillows on the bed just right every morning. For me, as a guy, pillows are for sleeping. But for some/many women, they also seem decorative. So, you have to remove all those pillows, plus all the extra layers of coverings, before going to bed, then restoring them in the morning. For me, as a guy, a silly waste of time. Fine, if she wants to do all the work, but what happens if I sleep in later (and that isn't hard, when your SO gets up at 4 a.m.)?

At a minimum, I would think that separate dressing, bathing, etc. areas are almost a necessity. But separate suites makes some sense too.

The trend is likely to persist because as the Baby Boom generation ages, there will be more and more issues that affect each other's sleep, whether they be snoring, health, or just different rhythms.

Hey said...

"Snug" was the best and funniest line I've ever seen from Ann. Simply awesome.

This issue just highlights the age of those involved. In the bloom of youth sleeping together all tangled up is one of the benefits. Plus you should be VERY tired when you fall asleep, but if someone does wake up then having your partner right there is always good.

Bathing and dressing separately... missing out on so much. Showers together are wonderful, if not the fastest thing in the world.