December 16, 2006

''I just peed my pants, and I'm not even wearing any!''

EW hands out the best quote of this season award to Parvati, describes this week's strangely skeezy episode, and ranks this season of "Survivor," in the grand scheme of all "Survivors," as No. 5.

Here's the useful ranking of all the seasons for those of you who are, like me, catching up with old shows on DVD:
Borneo, Amazon, Pearl Islands, Palau, Cook Islands, Marquesas, Panama, Australian Outback, All-Stars, Guatemala, Vanuatu, Africa, Thailand.
Don't spoil old seasons in the comments, please.


Unknown said...

No pics! What's up with that?

Laura Reynolds said...

For my money, Australian Outback was the best, realy extreme conditions, no group has suffered as much. Personalities make a big impact but that was a tough 39 days.

Ed said...

Which one of those is the first season? Because that's the only one I watched. Rudy was cool.

Adam said...

The suffering made season one less fun. Leaving All-Star aside, because it's not as much fun if you don't know the players, I'd rank them as follows:

1. The first season.
2. Palau. Just a gripping pair of narratives, and the best final challenge ever.
3. Pearl Islands -- Rupert and Fairplay.
4. Amazon. Boys v. Girls.

Eli Blake said...

All warm places.

Maybe next year, the feature will be the 'Oregon-wilderness-in-the-winter' edition of 'survivor.'

Incidentally they are considering themselves lucky just that the helicopters that were out searching for the guys on Mt. Hood made it back safely. No new word of the hikers.

Eli Blake said...

Here are some editions we will never see:

1. A bunch of white preppies doing 'survivor-in-the-hood'

2. 'Survivor'-- Iraq edition. Contestants dodge car bombs and bullets, and survival depends on figuring out which one of 50 people in a crowd is the suicide bomber. And if you guess right-- the next day you get to wake up and do it again.

3. 'Survivor'-- come to America. Contestants begin just across the border in northern Mexico with no documents and a gallon of lukewarm water, and have to make it across the Arizona desert in June. If they get apprehended by border patrol agents they are disqualified. The winner ends up not only getting to an American city, but finding a job and getting hired.

4. 'Survivor'-- prison edition. Contestants are locked up in a maximum security prison and have to come out alive without having been raped, crippled or otherwise terrorized.

5. 'Survivor'-- Putin edition. Contestants are hunted by ex-KGB agents and have to avoid being 'eliminated.'

6. 'Survivor'-- on the streets. Contestants must live on the streets of America or in homeless shelters, and try to avoid being murdered by bored middle class teenagers who are killing time by beating homeless people with baseball bats.

7. 'Survivor'-- gang edition. Contestants have contracts put on them and have to decipher gang grafitti to figure out by whom and how they are being targetted. The winner gets jumped in.

Adam said...

Correction: seasons two and three were less fun because of the suffering. Especially 3 (Africa). Starvation and lethargy are not good tv; fishing is.

Anonymous said...

Yes, the Africa season turned me off to Survivor for several years. It's more fun when they're in a tropical paradise (better images).

mikeski said...

Maybe next year, the feature will be the 'Oregon-wilderness-in-the-winter' edition of 'survivor.'

Never happen. No fit young women in bikinis or fit young men without shirts.

Anonymous said...

Have you read Steven Johnson's "Everything Bad Is Good for You"? It us Survivor as one of its examples of how even the "trashy" popular TV of today makes your mind exercise all sorts of muscles that might otherwise lie dormant.