The cupcake-as-symbol-of-childhood is powerful: It's wrapped in the cultural definition of what it means to be a good mother, something that's a moving target in this society, said Kathryn Oths, an anthropologist at the University of Alabama who studies food and culture.White? There's a racial angle to this?
"I don't have children. But I guarantee that if I did, I'd make them cupcakes for their birthdays," she said. "It's just ingrained in us as the proper thing to do."
So when that cultural norm is threatened by cupcake bans, she argued, people feel compelled to rally to its defense.
"Think about it. Banning cupcakes is almost like an assault on the national identity," Oths said. "It comes at a time when there are fears of terrorism and the immigration brouhaha that they're 'watering down' our traditional American culture -- meaning middle-class white America -- that's slipping out of our grasp."
Every day, we're told: More children are dangerously overweight. More children are diabetic. More children have life-threatening allergies to everything from peanuts to wheat to milk. More children sit around watching TV and playing video games. And, as many schools know, every classroom is divided between the cupcake-haves, the ones whose mothers dutifully lug in trays of them, and the cupcake-have-nots, whose mothers can't afford to or don't know that it's expected.Mothers? How about fathers?
Epperson used to tutor a child from an immigrant family who was saving every penny she could find in order to buy her own cupcake mix. She wanted her mom to bring the treat so she could fit in. "That broke my heart," Epperson said.
You know what? I say ban the cupcakes.
46 comments:
Cue dowtownlad: "Well the fat little hick shits should be eating crudite anyways"
Can we ban room mothers, instead?
'Cause I am one and therefore am responsible for All the treats for ALL the parties, and between the dairy allergies, the strawberry allergies, the wheat allergies, the nut allergies, the chemical and additive allergies and--yes--the veg kids, it's a challenge of epic proportion! Countdown to Winter Holiday Party...9...8... .
(Two of the kids can only eat two specific candies--only one of each have a located here. Which why I now I have year's supply of that type sitting on a pantry shelf, having learned my lesson during the Great Halloween Party Panic of 2006.)
/OT
"... only one of which I have been able to locate here ... "
See how my hands are already shaking?
Ban the cupcakes?
Why not ban the BMWs that take these kids to school? Why not ban the little Gap dresses and the little Merrell shoes? Why not ban the Thomas the Train lunchbox and the Bob the Builder bookbag?
How often do you think these underprivileged kids get to have cupcakes? Is it so wrong for a mother (or father--I'm a single parent) to bake cupcakes and ice them then drive them over to the school in her Audi to share with all the kids? While we're at it, let's ban Ann Taylor since the mom might be wearing that. And Prada definitely has to go--we don't want her to have a place to put the keys to her $350,000 house.
Come on. Banning cupcakes isn't going to make poor kids not poor any more than school uniforms will.
And what's wrong with the odd cupcake every now and again? Have you checked out school lunches? Be glad they're eating something they can identify.
I'd be curious to see how the School Administrators who advocate No Cupcake Zones celebrate their own birthdays. A nice platter of celery and carrots? Rice Cakes? 4 oz. of non-fat cottage cheese? Some nice cold iceberg lettuce?
Madison is also banning the sweets as rewards practice, which the son's teacher laments, as all 5th graders like a piece of hard candy, so it's a cheap and effective reward. Let them eat pretzels, I guess. Here, have a sticker. Just what every 5th grader wants.
As I was born during the summer, I never had the chance to celebrate it with cupcakes in class like all the other kids. It scarred me for life. In fact, I am absolutely positive that my inability to have cupcakes with my classmates on my birthday is the reason I am gay.
Madisonman: Iceberg lettuce? Perish the thought! Terribly un-pc, you know. Still picked by non-union workers as well. Non-fat cottage cheese? Heaven forbid! That is unnatural at best or somehow genetically modified, no doubt.
I hope they are forced to eat rice cakes. Unflavored. (Bet no one blows out the candle in the hopes it will burn the damned thing up.;-)
Unable to solve the massive failures in the actual teaching of reading, math, and civics, educators instead master the easy stuff: coerced equality.
Cupcake banning is so much simpler than improving the grasp of algebra and phonics. Lots of fury and feelgoodism in social studies, and attention is successfully shifted away from the persistent declines in literacy.
Another pedagogical crisis solved!
Disclosure: I homeschool.
Banning cupcakes outright seems like overkill, but I'm all for limiting the cupcake proliferation. Why should moms feel they have to send cupcakes (or anything for that matter) for their kids' birthdays? In a class of 20 or 25 kids, three-quarters of whom have birthdays during the school year, that's a lot of cupcakes!
Stick with the scheduled "class party" theme, maybe three or four days a year, and then maybe reader_iam's volunteer position won't be so daunting, and it's a lot less for parents who merely disapprove of frequent sugary treats to worry about.
Banning hard candies as rewards is dumb; teachers should be empowered to use such a small, insignificant reward if they wish. I still remember my fourth-grade teacher with her giant jar of lemon drops, tantalizingly situated on the corner of her desk right in front of the room. She doled them out VERY SPARINGLY --- I am sure she went through fewer than one per day on average --- and they were great motivators. The best was when she decided the entire class could have one, just for the hell of it, during her read aloud time after recess.
Does anyone run schools anymore? Or are they simply filled with people who shouldn't be anywhere near kids or have any authority?
Or perhaps no one wants to do it and that's why the Beverley Hughes of the world always end up in charge.
Internet Ronin: Oh, come on. You know it was the dollies you played with when you were young, and the fact that your mommy let you wear pink that one day. No doubt you were raised in a Godless home, as well.
My son is a summer child as well, so that explains why I'm room mother--I'm trying to compensate!
(Cue those with low offense meters and no sense of humor ... .)
another sensible comment by reader_iam: Can we ban room mothers, instead?
Yeah, I think that's a good start. The tales we hear of the local elementary school and the room mothers are both fascinating and horrifying. Makes me want to volunteer next year when The Child is in kindergarten.
The pre-k school doesn't ban cupcakes, but grapes and strawberries are banned. Apparently, a grape is a choking hazard. I figure they're 5, how hard is it to eat a grape? If the worst happens, think of it as evolution in action. They keep pushing me, I'm bringing in strawberries wrapped around grapes and the whole thing is dipped in peanut butter. Have the school declared a toxic waste dump by the time I'm finished with it.
aside: comments like the above paragraph are why The Wife has forbidden me to become a room mother. Thinks it might reflect poorly on The Child having those types of parents.
Seriously, folks:
I think banning them over health concerns (other than allergies) is a little silly. On the other hand, though I don't like bans generally speaking, this doesn't strike me as the same thing as banning something legal wholesale everywhere.
I don't think the cupcakes per se are necessarily what's making kids fats (now, the fact that people seem to make cupcakes 3x the size that they used to be probably DOES come in to play). I'm of the staunch belief that most of the weight issues among kids have mostly to do with three things: 1) Far lower physical activity levels then at the people of my generation experienced in childhood, 2) over-reliance on fast food/prepared food eaten on the run, and 3) the shocking amount of soda pop AND JUICE that kids knock back starting from very early ages.
I'm president of the board of a nonprofit day-care pre-school with a very diverse population, not the least economically, and I like the way our director handles it. Those parents who wish can choose to send in boxes of cake mix (many of them are avail themselves of the local food pantry, with which we work) and we keep some on hand. On birthday days, the kids and teachers, as a planned activity, work together to make the cupcakes, or sheet cakes, depending, and decorate them as well. It's fun, and the kids also learn a little bit about math, chemistry, cooking, etc. etc. etc. along the way. The decorating counts as art! The birthday kid or kids pick the flavors, wear special hats, and a special birthday puppet comes for a visit and a song.
This would be harder to do at older grade levels and in public school, of course. But there are creative options ... .
Reader_iam: OK, OK, I admit it - but I only played with Ken for some strange reason - and it was fuschia, not pink! My mom was a room mother most years, too! (And 2 of the three of us were summer kids. The other was a Halloween baby - talk about great birthday parties!)
I'm fortunate, I guess, in that my husband both helps and has a sense of humor, which helps keep things in perspective. No, he doesn't always remember the details, and he's not the one who bakes,... but he does help put together other things, he frequently does the shopping for ingredients, and he always cooks dinner and does other routine stuff while I put together the "special occasion" things.
I have to say it: He does his share and his part in this area.
Now it IS true that he doesn't take the whole thing to heart the way I can, or worry. But that's not his problem--it's mine. It would do me good to be more like him, in this respect.
Seriously, another relatively graceful way to eliminate cupcake proliferation is to celebrate all the birthdays that fall within a given month once a month.
And bearing, if that was the comment we accidentally shamed you out of posting on the other thread, I congratulate you for getting your revenge: introducing the unforgettable phrase "cupcake proliferation" into my vocabulary and using it in a legitimately serious vein. Kudos.
Is it so wrong for a mother (or father--I'm a single parent) to bake cupcakes and ice them then drive them over to the school in her Audi to share with all the kids?
Ha! You think I can bake my own cupcakes and bring them in to school? Not anymore. Sometime in the last 5 years, the state of Arizona decided that all foods brought into school for the children to eat had to be prepared by a commercial establishement or by a person with a state food-handler's license.
They give the license exam about 20 times a week, it's cost is very low (less than $20, I think), and it's easy -- you have to know how long it's safe to keep food out unrefrigerated, separate raw from cooked foods, etc. They have prepared a nice little pamphlet that covers all the material. It's really not that big of a deal... none of which explains why I haven't got it yet. I just don't feel like driving over to the testing facility and going through the hassle.
All three of my kids have school-year birthdays. For the past couple years I've been bringing in Krispy Kremes instead of cupcakes, but the KK franchises here in AZ went belly-up a while ago and haven't been revived. I guess it's back to supermarket-bakery cupcakes for us. The donuts (just glazed ones) were better, a lot less messy than frosted cupcakes.
You can take my toddler's cupcakes, when you lick the icing from my cold, dead fingers.
Ps. I understand you can do that in certain towns not so far from Madison...
I'm missing something here. Is the idea that the Mom's bring in cupcakces for the whole class on the child's birthday?
I know my mom never did this, and I certainly don't recall having little extra food items like that delivered to the entire class on a regular basis. Is this a recent development ("recent" meaning since I was in elementary school in the mid 70s), or some kind of upper middle class thing, or what?
Word verification: geeubor. I have no comment.
reader_iam, in discussing the private approach, suggests to me perhaps the best advice of all:
Ban public schools.
They are dangerous to children.
Now, now, can't let some childhood nostalgia be an excuse for committing the sin of gluttony! Show some personal responsibility and snatch that cupcake right outta your kids' hand!
wordverif: "polms" Trees moved and replanted from Florida to Poland?
Cupcakes: the regulatory state writ small. After all, they're NOT GOOD FOR KIDS. It's a form of child abuse. What's wrong with you? Your pathetic attempt at parenting leaves us no choice. Nanny knows best.
The peanut butter comment reminded me of a co-worker who (negligently) fed a peanut butter sandwich to a severely disabled kid. When the kid naturally started choking on it, the 6'4 220 lb. co-worker had to Heimlich it out of the kid.
The co-worker was rewarded for his stupidity with a "Lifesaver" award, although the award nomination forgot to mention that he was the one who gave the kid the sandwich.
That former co-worker now teaches P.E.
Well, Pogo, my kid's in private school (first grade). Trust me on this one: I'm, let's say, highly skeptical that the pressure on and expectations for parents are less.
And we pay full-freight for the crap we put with and the stress we experience! Masochists, the lot of us.
reader_iam,
I chose a private school as well, and the point is not that the craziness is necessarliy less, but you get to choose what you'll put up with. That choice is gone in public schools. It's all handed down from above, from the Mount Special Olympus.
When my daughter was in kindergarten at a local public school, the teacher was required to teach a new "tolerance and respect" module. So she brought my daughter, all of 5 years old, in front of class, and said. "We are supposed to be respectful of each other. Let's say Sally here has an ugly dress on. Everbody say it." The class jeered her ugly dress and shoes and hair. Then the teacher said, "We should never ever treat people like that. Sit down, Sally." She was reduced to tears, and instantly and permanently friendless. Confronted, the teacher confirmed the events, and the principal said it was "required". I asked if he was similarly required to be an idiot, or was he permitted the option of rational thought, whereupon I was required to leave.
Changed schools 3 days later.
- Big Brother and the Frying Company, what a good name for a band...now for a genre - I would like some heavy metal type chords and raspy screeching about the cooking of our Liberty, going up in the smoke of olive and canola oil...
"I think some people just can't stand for anybody to do what they want to. Control freaks don't need to be given so much power."
I say anything that gets such people out of the religion business, where they've found a welcoming home for centuries, and occupied with children's treats is good for our society in the long run.
I don't even really understand Paddy O's comment.
Could be the religion, could be the trans fats, could be the room mother thing, could be the fact that I've given birth, could be that my mom sent in cupcakes, could be the fact that I was forced to go to the nurse's office for a tampon way back when.
Whatever it is, I've gone all stupid.
Off to prepare yet another meal for a volunteer event--#4 in as many days.
Yeah, stupid it is.
While shopping this month, I saw something that's new on the market, or at least new to me--carriers for 27 or 24 decorated cupcakes. They are clearly made for moms, umm, I mean parents, to transport cupcakes to school. How often does one need to do this, that you need a special container?
My daughter's school allows treats, but suggests donating books to the classroom instead. The kids have a whole "Super star" week to have a little birthday attention, which ends with a parent coming, and sharing a story with the class, along with treats. My girl decided books were better than treats- they lasted longer, and everyone can enjoy them. Way to go Sophie, I say!
Got me out of baking, too!
"I don't even really understand Paddy O's comment."
That's two of us.
Well, maybe I do. It goes back to my own personal gripes. I don't have kids in school and don't deal with room mothers, but I have worked in churches. It's incredible how many churches are led by elders or other leaders who make these kinds of cupcake decisions -- so eager for control they want to step in and run everyone's life.
I'd say a good portion of church history is quite explainable by having too many cupcake controlling room mothers in charge.
I would rather them hang out in a church, where participants can actively leave and choose whether they want to pay for something, than stay in the public school system where tons of kids are just stuck and at their mercy.
I agree with you I suppose, except that these people never are content in situations where people can choose to avoid their control -- so they drift out to other contexts, or try to assert their context over everyone.
Yes, there is a racial element in this. Cupcakes are from the '50s, right, and the '50s were a misogynistic, bigoted nightmare, right?
I read papers every day excoriating...er, analyzing "white culture" and its terrible effects on superior primitive civilization(s).
And if you really, really loathe yourself, you can even major in it!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whiteness_studies
SteveR: When the day comes that a law student's mom shows up with cupcakes for the whole class, I'll be stunned. My support for the ban discussed in the article is based on my concern about the pressure put on mothers. The only food I care about my students bringing to class is smelly food. Some microwaved hot dish... that's an imposition on the group.
I remember a few kids' moms bringing cupcakes in elementary school. I don't remember there being any complex social repercussions to this. I think every kid's reaction, rich or poor, was the same: "Yay! We get to eat cupcakes today!"
Instead of cupcakes, we make cakesicles.
Answer: International Cupcake Non-Proliferation Agreement
Question: What has about as much chance of being universally enacted, enforced (and effective) as the Kyoto Protocol?
In a class of 20 or 25 kids, three-quarters of whom have birthdays during the school year, that's a lot of cupcakes
It works out to one cupcake every two or three weeks, assuming *every* mother brings in cupcakes (which is of course not the case).
That's not going to turn anybody fat.
Unnoticed is how we are repeating very much the health fads of the latter 19th century.
"The Victorian era promoted the virtues of independence, success and healthy living. Longevity was no longer viewed as a gift from God, but was a reward for proper behavior, hygiene and self-discipline. Indeed a rising belief in human perfectibility led to popular health reform and a public belief all people were ‘naturally healthy’, and that disease was caused by violation of fixed scientific laws. Yet around 1850, average life expectancy was a mere 39.5 years, and infant mortality claimed 22% of live births. Nearly half of all deaths occurred before age fifteen; less than 15% occurred after age 60.
Nevertheless, the belief persisted that ‘good habits’ would lead to an old age characterized by good health and self-reliance. However, these beliefs had a darker implication. Physical decline and dependency in an elder meant a lack of discipline and implied that one’s life had been immoral. Pain and suffering in old age invoked feelings of shame and a sense of failure.
By 1900, the failure of the Victorian vision of ‘natural health’ to produce a ‘good old age’ free of decay and dependence led to a backlash against the elderly. The universal optimism that strict adherence to ‘natural health laws’ ensured a long and healthy life gave way to increasing pessimism about the prospect of aging. In short order, the prevailing corporate view of ‘man as machine’ found the elderly (primarily men at this time) to be burdensome, irrelevant, full of disease and economically worthless."
I believe we are seeing this same process again, in many small steps such as these.
Well, I personally like "Mount Special Olympus."
Will be dropping it into casual conversation just as soon as I figure out how.
I was a summer baby, too, and didn't get to bring treats and be popular for a day. I'm still seeing a therapist.
Banning cupcakes because it is hard on the poor moms? Are you kidding? My two best friends spent a decade each on welfare with their small children. They spared no expense for holidays and birthdays and school treats. They were very generous and valued making memories just like any middle class mom.
A cake mix and frosting is what, $3? And food stamps/EBT cards can pay for it. There is no greater class leveller than for a poor mom to send treats to class for her birthday kid.
More nanny statism that burns my bip:
In the UK, lunchroom ladies check all the kids lunches and CONFISCATE unhealthy food/junk food. The child is disciplined and the parent is educated. (The Samizdata blog chronicles the nanny state rot of the UK.)
In my county and region, high school kids have to consent to random drug tests if they want to participate in extracurricular activities or drive to school. I wouldn't want my kids taught to become accustomed to extremely personal instrusions of their privacy, without any grounds of suspicion, by the government. This just makes me mad. Gummit schools training the sheeple.
Moms who want to resist: here's an idea for your protest poster. Rosie the Riveter with a cupcake in her hand. We can do it!
I went to school in the desert, yet still cupcakes were a staple, sent at every event, for every birthday, and for no reason at all.
We ate cupcakes without frosting, cupcakes made of frosting, and even cupcakes shoved into ice cream cones (they sucked, imo). We ate frosting by the handful, and most of it was the color of polonium.
Of course, we also ran our asses off during PE. Jack Howell made sure of that.
In a nearby school district, they've now incorporated CPR as part of the "P.E." program.
Somethin' obviously ain't working out there.
Does anyone even need to be told that you sing this to The Partridge Family's "I Think I Love You"?
I was sleeping -and right in the middle of my home room
Like, all at once I wake up from no glucose in my brain
Before you go insane and bash my textbook on my head
I spring up from my desk screaming out the words you dread:
I want a cupcake!
This morning I woke up with this feeling
I didn't know how to deal with and so I just decided to myself
I'd hide it to myself and never talk about it
And did not go and shout 'til your mom walked in the room
with blessed cupcakes!
I want a cupcake! so what are you so afraid of?
Afraid that I'm too pure for-
trans fat there is no cure for?
I ate a cupcake! isn't that what life is made of?
Though the worrywarts will say that I'm fatter every day
I want a cupcake!
!!!
All-time Althouse spontaneous verse award to Sippican! (since this seems to be Awards Week in the blogosphere anyway)
I say it's all about the children. If you want to be a parent and bear the responsibility of raising children - you damn well better bake cupcakes. And that's definitely the mother's job. If the father baked em - the kid might turn out gay.
Geez - it's not like mothers have anything else to do. They just sit home all day and watch soap operas and go shopping. Time for them to get off their fat, lazy ass.
But seriously - this is more about people being nostalgic about their own childhood. We had cupcakes growing up - so why shouldn't our children. But you know what? Our grandparents didn't have cupcakes. Heck - they probably dropped out of school after the 6th grade to go help on the farm. So this generation won't have cupcakes to look back on. They'll have something else. Why make a crisis over something so minor.
Re: "Why make a crisis over something so minor."
Yeah, be like downtownlad and give up your petty little liberties piece by piece. Education administrators and the government know what's best for you anyway.
And we can easily replace memories of cupcakes with fiber bars and compulsory songs about Dear Leader.
P.S. Only DTL can turn a post about gradeschool party favors into a gay pride issue. Every time he posts I think about the parody of the musical Rent in Team America.
Groucho replied, "And I like a good cigar, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while."
If you don't think cupcakes are dangerous, read this:
From Cupcake Maker to Crack Whore
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