IN THE COMMENTS: Lots of funny suggestions, but I'm going to declare a winner. It's AJ Lynch for
"How come we get always get drunk before we have sex?"
July 15, 2006
"Because you only let me take pictures of you when you're drunk."
Overheard, in a café this morning. I didn't hear the question that provoked this answer, so I'm just offering it up as a contest. You compose the question, you know, like in those New Yorker caption writing contests, which I despise. The reason I don't despise my own little contest is not (just) because it's mine, but because The New Yorker uses some damned picture that was drawn without a caption in mind, the readers come up with such poor ideas, and The New Yorker keeps doing it in spite of the nauseating mediocrity. On the other hand, I really did hear this quote, so there is a true answer somewhere out there lost in the past, and you will probably have some good ideas, and I'm not going to keep doing this if you don't.
IN THE COMMENTS: Lots of funny suggestions, but I'm going to declare a winner. It's AJ Lynch for
IN THE COMMENTS: Lots of funny suggestions, but I'm going to declare a winner. It's AJ Lynch for
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33 comments:
Why do pictures of me look so ugly the next morning?
"How come I have to buy film every time I go the liquor store?"
Barney said - "Moe- how come you never use your camera until happy hour is over?"
How come we get always get drunk before we have sex?
"How come every picture in this album is of me exposing myself in some fashion?"
Why am I always wearing a lampshade?
Wait...
That's so cliche.
Why am I always wearing a marmot?
uhhh...trouble at home, Johnny?
LOL--and the sun ain't even set yet!
Why do you keep submitting my nude pics to Modern Drunkard to be their centerfold?
Why don't we have any pictures of me that I can send to my mother?
Why are my clothes always stained in the pictures you take?
Wow, Gerry - party at your house!
Our dinner party starts at six--the guests will be here any minute! Why aren't you helping?! Why did you put those HMIs in the living room? Why are you wandering around the house with that light meter? Why is your tripod laying on the kitchen counter?
"Why do I look like I forgive you for ruining my life, in all these pictures?"
How come there aren't any pictures of me in Utah?
Ann says: "and The New Yorker keeps doing it in spite of the nauseating mediocrity."
Awww. Haven't been picked, huh?
Great answers! The sex theme is funny. I thought the most logical question, which no one's said yet, is: Why do I look drunk in every single picture you take of me?
The answer I think I like best... well, I'll wait to say. You can start voting. Keep adding more entries too. I'll pick a winner. The prize... ah, I don't know. A front page announcement of your answer... or question really. Hmmm.... this contest is like "Jeopardy."
I'm voting for:
How come we always get drunk before we have sex? aj Lynch
My runner up: (do I get one?)
Why is Dick Cheney in all these pictures? Jim
"Why am I wearing shorts in all these pictures?"
"Why do you write poems about me when I'm sober?"
I know it's too late. But: "Why must you always side with the police?" Requires an emphasis, in the reply, on the word "me."
"Why does everyone I meet recently have intimate, personal, gynecological details about me?
Why don't carry my photo in your wallet?
Why do you always want to use her as your model?
vh: wwoozabi
" 'm f'l'n a little w-wooz[y], [b]abi!"
But my vote goes to this entry of Buddy's:
"How come I have to buy film every time I go the liquor store?"
"Why do I keep getting e-mail from guys calling me "Hot Momma Babe", and why's our internet bill so high?"
"How'd we get a 5 foot cake, 3 Chippendales dancers and a Llama in the same picture? At 3 different parties?"
My favorites:
"How come I have to buy film every time I go the liquor store?", "How come there aren't any pictures of me in Utah?", and "Why do I look like I forgive you for ruining my life, in all these pictures?"
Why do you keep spiking my wheatgrass and mango slushies?
"Hey, I'm not NEAR as think as you drunk I am!"
...one more & then i quit...a lawyer joke:
"What's the difference between a lawyer and a setting hen?"
A setting hen clucks defiance.
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