April 13, 2005

"You are in for a shock, America."

So says Ryan Seacrest introducing tonight's "American Idol" results show. The shock isn't, apparently, that the show will be dragged out to an hour tonight, but, it seems, who's in the bottom three and who's leaving. Wow! Ryan's in a real suit!

The first half of the show is frittered away promoting a record -- I think it's for charity -- that the finalists are making. It's a horrid, maudlin song with lines line "Every time you touch me, I become a hero." We see the kids in the studio, marveling at the equipment. Sure is complicated and fancy! And then they perform the song on stage, and the choreography is a hilarious sleepwalk -- presumably designed around the least able dancer in the group, who -- I'm just going to guess -- is Scott. We see Carrie rocking her chaste pelvis from side to side like a teeter-totter. They're all in jeans, except Nadia, who's wearing a fabulous evening gown.

Announcing the bottom three, Ryan makes each one, upon hearing the news, get right up and sing a song. The poor kids are put through the wringer. (In an earlier segment, we saw how hard they worked each day of the week. Sunday is not the day of rest, but the day of filming a Ford commercial.)

Scott is the first to get the bad news, and, given his choice of favorite song so far, sings "Against All Odds." We see Simon cringing: he wants Scott off the show.

Shocker! Bo is in the bottom three! I guess people forgot to vote for him. Or, more likely, his fans have switched over to Constantine.

Constantine is told he's safe, and just before that, Simon is asked what he meant last night by calling him "astonishing." Some people thought he meant it sarcastically, but Simon says it really worked. He wouldn't have thought it would work to try "Bohemian Rhapsody," but it did.

Anwar and Carrie have already heard they're safe. Now, Anthony and Vonzell are told they are safe too. So that puts Nadia in the bottom three -- the only one I predicted would end up at the bottom. She sings "You Don't Have To Say You Love Me." She gets my award as the coolest looking person ever on the show, but I think she'll leave. Her or Scott.

They do the thing of saving one of the three next. And it's Scott! Screams of amazement!

Oh, no! Don't let it be Bo! "America has decided that Bo..." -- oh, no! -- "you are safe." Yay!!!

Poor Nadia, beautiful Nadia, must leave. Goodbye, Nadia! Lots of people thought she was going to win. But it is not to be.


Gerry said...

Idol cracked me up tonight.

I'm pretty proud of my predictions though.

I thought of what song Anthony needs to sing-- "On Desert Moon" by Dennis DeYoung.

Irene Done said...

I know Nadia was one of your faves so I wanted to be here for you in this hour of sadness. To me, Nadia was always a little over the top, but then tonight she just looked so regal and beautiful, I was sorry to see her go. And sorrier to see Scott and Anthony stay.

Yay for Bo! Yay for the Wonderized Anwar! Yay for chaste pelvises everywhere!

Ann Althouse said...

Gerry: you say at the link that Nadia must have known in advance she was in the bottom three because she had a big microphone on her lap, but Vonzell and Anthony also had microphones. The band was ready to play the chosen songs, but I assume each contestant had to identify the song they'd sing and the band, but not the contestant, was tipped off as to which songs would need to be played, in what order.

Irene: I didn't like Nadia's singing very much. I just like her looks and her fashion sense. I'm okay with her leaving.

Gerry said...

"but Vonzell and Anthony also had microphones"

Never argue with a woman with Tivo, but both my wife and I looked and saw no mike in Vonzell or Anthony's hands.

Ann Althouse said...

Gerry: I didn't notice any of the mikes the first time, but I went back and TiVo-checked, and I'm sure of my statement. Maybe you and your wife noticed Nadia's because she picked it up off her lap to use it -- that was more conspicuous than the mikes in the others' laps.

Gerry said...

Like I said- never argue with a Tivo-armed woman! Thanks for the update. In the words of Gilda Radner,


SteveR said...

I think you're right that some of Bo's fans switched to Constantine, especially since he went first and Constantine last. I don't both of them can last much farther so Bo will have to step it up. No one in the competition is all that great so its coming down to the least awful.

Adam said...

My theory, which I've written about on my blog, is more fundamental: Constantine understands what the producers are looking for, while Bo "does his own thing", and in the end, Simon will steer the voters to Maroulis, regardless of talent.

They're looking for a pop star, not a "rocker".

Emily said...

Nadia did look great last night. Fantastic gown.

Do people vote based on who they actually prefer, or do they vote based on the characteristics they think the "the American Idol" should have, even if that person isn't their favorite?

I think at least some folks vote based on the later, and that's why they stopped voting for Nadia. She was perceived as too self-indulgent.

Scott said...

Can someone please tell me why a personality-free, unattractive guy like Scott, who also happens to have a domestic violence conviction in his past, keeps getting votes? I was impressed early with his voice, which now doesn't seem all that great to me. I can't find anything redeeming about him anymore.

Ann Althouse said...

Scott: Hey, wouldn't it be cool if it really was Scott stopping by to ask why we still like him? I'd say it's because he's authentic. He is what he is. And because others oppose him unfairly, we champion the underdog. Plus, some nice singing and song-choosing.

Adam: I agree. And I also think Bo just doesn't care enough. He's hitting the wall. Last night he was saying he just tried out on a bet with his mom, and he was taking that slackerish whatever-happens-happens/it's-all-good attitude. Constantine has a fire lit inside him: he wants to be a star. That might make some people hate him, but he's found a way to pull some of us in. And he's not going to fatigue. There's something extraordinary about him that became apparent when he chose to sing "I Think I Love You." As you say, he's got the pop star mentality.

Harkonnendog said...

I've never heard anyone mention this... isn't Scott's weird under-the-chin beard an attempt to hide his double chin? And isn't that MORE pitiful than an obvious comb-over?
I can't believe Nadia... hot Nadia, sexy scowling Nadia- is gone- whereas Scott, "I can only sing the chorus and think that is okay" Sonnon remains...


neo-neocon said...

Nadia just didn't have the voice, but boy, did she ever have the style! One of those rare people that men and women and boys and girls and even dogs and cats must like. A smile that lights up with sincere radience. I think there's a place for her, somewhere (what a minute; isn't that a song?) in show business, maybe as an actress.

Adam said...

Just to follow up on that a bit more: Constantine knows he's cheesy, and plays into it. The David Cassidy number was a brilliant line in the sand -- it showed that, No, I Am Not A Rocker, But I Can Do Cheesy Pop With A Wink And A Smile. His self-conscious gestures add to the fun, as opposed to Nadia's, where they subtracted because hers conveyed seriousness, not fun.

Bo wants to see if by being himself, he can win. He can't.