How to watch the Oscars competently. Let me say that I do know how to watch the Oscars more effectively, using TiVo. You record the E! red carpet show with Joan Rivers and have a couple hours of that stored up. Then you TiVo the Oscars broadcast, but don't start watching it until a half hour or an hour after it begins. Even two hours, really. Then you watch the TiVo'd Oscars show, skipping to points when awards are announced, skipping all award acceptances by anyone who isn't either an actor, a writer, or a director, skipping all songs and commercials. If you catch up to the live broadcast, just fill in with the red carpet show to let the live broadcast get out ahead of you again.

I've used this method in the past. Why didn't I use the TiVo method last night? To oblige a family member. The excitement of live-ness was a big issue. And I do understand this feeling. When you use the TiVo method you experience a heightened awareness of how little anything is really going on, which may make you think it isn't even worth watching at all. The who-cares realization can actually ruin all the fun. Except it was not fun at all last night!