July 2, 2023

"A 'Cage Match' Between Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg May Be No Joke/Talks over a matchup between the two tech billionaires have progressed and the parameters of an event are taking shape."

This is an article in the NYT, and I'm annoyed at myself for spending the time to try to understand what is going on. These 2 showboats want our attention, and now I'm checking to see just how old, tall, and heavy each of them is and what that means in a "cage match."

Ugh. I don't like thinking about either of these men's bodies, but now I know Musk is 6'1.5" and Zuckerberg is only 5'7". Zuckerberg weighs 155 and Musk is anywhere from 30 to 70 pounds heavier, so he's something like 2 weight classes higher than Zuckerberg. Musk is 12 years older, and maybe Musk is less in shape:
Mr. Zuckerberg is likely in fighting shape. He has been on a strict workout regimen, going for runs and challenging friends and colleagues to beat his times, two people close to him said. Last month, he posted a personal record for completing the “Murph” challenge, which requires completing a series of pull-ups, push-ups, running multiple miles and doing hundreds of squats, all while wearing weighted, military-grade body armor.... 

So Zuck has been bragging. Meanwhile, Musk is massaging expectations: 

Mr. Musk, on the other hand, has tweeted that he “almost never” works out and once suffered a back injury that required surgery after participating in an exhibition with a sumo wrestler. Last month, he said he had trained in “judo, Kyokushin (full contact)” — two Japanese martial arts — and “no rules streetfighting.” 
“He made that very clear: ‘I’m not going to lose any weight,’” [Dana White, president of the Ultimate Fighting Championship] said of Mr. Musk’s approach to the potential matchup....

It sounds ugly. A much larger, heavier man permitted to kick the little guy? But as soon as I saw the word "charity" in the article — "The tech leaders have agreed there should be a charity component" — I realized that it's just a stupid exhibition, they're not really going to be trying to hurt each other, and we are fools if we want to watch. Let them give their own billions to charity, not put on an idiotic show to extract it from us. 

All my life, I've heard various comedians and commentators bring up the idea that instead of war, the leaders who want war ought to engage in a boxing match. So, like, Zelenskiy and Putin could box. Do you find that an amusing joke? It's been made repeatedly, as if it's incisive or hilarious, though it's not, so it must hit so core psychological spot. But in that idea, a war is avoided, and the winner gains something that was enough for countries to go to war over.

In the Zuckerberg vs. Musk fight, there are no stakes other than the bragging rights for one of 2 men we have no interest in hearing bragging.  

ADDING: I asked ChatGPT who first thought of that idea of a boxing match instead of a war. Answer:

The concept of resolving conflicts between leaders through a boxing match... is often attributed to Jean Jaurès, a French socialist leader and pacifist.... 

You can read about Jaurès at Wikipedia, here. Interesting character, but nothing about the boxing idea. Is this one of ChatGPT's false stories?

Let's try Bard:
The person who originally proposed that instead of going to war, the leaders of countries ought to participate in a boxing match was Marquis de Queensbury. He was a British nobleman who is considered the father of modern boxing. In 1867, he published a set of rules for boxing that are still used today. These rules included banning wrestling, biting, and gouging, and they also limited the number of rounds to 12. Queensbury believed that these rules would make boxing a more civilized and gentlemanly sport. In 1882, Queensbury proposed that the leaders of countries should settle their disputes in a boxing match instead of going to war. He argued that this would be a more humane way to resolve conflicts and that it would also help to prevent wars from happening in the first place. Queensbury's proposal was not taken seriously at the time, but it has since been cited by peace activists as a possible way to prevent war. 
Here are some additional details about Queensbury's proposal: 
  • He suggested that the boxing match should be between the two countries' leaders, or their representatives. 
  • The match would be held in a neutral country. 
  • The winner of the match would be declared the victor of the dispute. 
Queensbury believed that this would be a more fair and just way to resolve conflicts than war. Queensbury's proposal was not without its critics. Some people argued that it would be too dangerous for the leaders of countries to fight each other in a boxing match. Others argued that it would be unfair to the leaders of smaller countries, who would be at a disadvantage against the leaders of larger countries. Despite the criticisms, Queensbury's proposal has remained a popular idea among peace activists. It has been cited as a possible way to prevent war in a number of conflicts, including the Cold War and the Vietnam War. It is unlikely that Queensbury's proposal will ever be put into practice, but it remains a reminder that there are alternative ways to resolve conflicts besides war.

Here's the Wikipedia page for the Marquis of Queensbury. Did he really propose the boxing alternative to war?

IN THE COMMENTS: tim maguire quotes a passage from "All Quiet on the Western Front" (1928), and I'll do the same quote but from the translation in my Kindle:

Kropp on the other hand is a thinker. He proposes that a declaration of war should be a kind of popular festival with entrance-tickets and bands, like a bull fight. Then in the arena the ministers and generals of the two countries, dressed in bathing-drawers and armed with clubs, can have it out among themselves. Whoever survives, his country wins. That would be much simpler and more just than this arrangement, where the wrong people do the fighting. The subject is dropped.

Then the conversation turns to drill.

27 comments:

mezzrow said...

Eh, if we'd had a Rockefeller/Carnegie cage match, maybe we'd have swerved WW1 or the Great Depression. And another butterfly's wings beat into the horizon.

Make it Pay per View and have it come off like the Capone vault unveiling. Serves 'em all right. Who plays Michael Buffer? Maybe even Michael Buffer?

R C Belaire said...

Seems Althouse had loads of free time this morning...

Lloyd W. Robertson said...

You may not have heard of the Trudeau vs. Brazeau boxing match (for charity) in Canada in March 2012. Justin Trudeau had been leader of the Liberal party for about a year; Steven Harper was Conservative Prime Minister, and Patrick Brazeau was and is a Senator appointed by Harper. Brazeau has held leadership positions with the aboriginal people of Canada, and he has taken the position that the Indian Act and reserves should be abolished.

Here.

Brazeau has left behind at least one funny story. There was a lack of potable drinking water at one northern First Nations reserve, and this of course was only one indicator of the poor conditions up there. A lady who was a leader there went on a hunger strike, and made regular media appearances. Brazeau to a more or less Tory audience said something like: when I get the flu over a weekend, I lose 5 or 10 pounds. This lady doesn't seem to have lost anything.

tim maguire said...

“He reakons that all declarations of war ought to be made into a kind of festival, with entrance tickets and music, like they have at bullfights. Then the ministers and generals of the two countries would have to come into the ring, wearing boxer shorts, and armed with rubber trunchons, and have a go at each other. Whoever is left on his feet, his country is declared the winner. That would be simpler and fairer than things are out here, where the wrong people are fighting each other.”

― Erich Maria Remarque, All Quiet on the Western Front


Remarque had soldiers sitting in dugouts dreamily fantasizing about an alternative to the horror of their lives. It is probably a common view among soldiers in war. If comedians are making this into a joke, they’re not just pathetically derivative, they’re cheapening a tragic experience.

rhhardin said...

Why not just insults? Go the Trump route of aptness of naming.

rhhardin said...

Trump called Kim Rocketman before becoming best friends.

Quaestor said...

The Nooyawk has been pranked, and they when to print without adequate verification, as usual. The bad old days of Jayson Blair have only gotten worse.

MikeR said...

David and Goliath?

Ann Althouse said...

Thanks for the "All Quiet on the Western Front" quote. That's 1928.

Ann Althouse said...

"Then the ministers and generals of the two countries would have to come into the ring, wearing boxer shorts, and armed with rubber trunchons, and have a go at each other."

Do I need to get out my "men in shorts" tag?

Critter said...

The idea of the best man on each side fighting to avoid war predates even the Trojan War with Achilles killing Hector. Sometimes the fight prevented war but other times like in the Trojan War the losing side could not bear the prospect of being a vassal state, slaves, etc.

Dave Begley said...

Jimmy Joey Jones on Fox thinks the fight will be an AI thing between avatars. I agree.

mikee said...

Andy Kaufman, the self-declared Inter-Gender Champion, did this first, and better. He started out wrestling women sorta comedically, and ended up having a feud and grudge match with a pro wrestler, Jerry lawler.

Big Mike said...

A ‘Cage Match’ Between Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg May Be No Joke

Even if it actually happens, it will be a joke.

Dogma and Pony Show said...

If we went to the caged-deathmatch model of international dispute resolution, then naturally the voters would need to take into consideration a presidential candidate's fighting skills as an important aspect of his qualifications for the office. In hindsight, Teddy Roosevelt would probably have been rated our greatest president on this score. He was only in his early forties when he became president; was a former cowboy; was still a recreational boxer, hiker, and outdoorsman; and, well, let's just say he wouldn't have been temperamentally opposed to applying force to any foreign king or potentate who needed it.

George Washington and Andy Jackson were formidable, but both well past their physical primes when they became president.

Lincoln would have been a good pick, although perhaps too magnanimous to relish a fight of this nature. He famously dodged a duel once by contriving farcical rules for it. (Signals weakness.)

FDR, JFK, Obama, Wilson, and Madison would have essentially been disqualified as candidates for the reason that they posed no credible deterrent. As president, Carter lost a fight with a rabbit once, but I guess the voters would have had no reason to foresee that in 1976.

Taft would have been an intriguing pick.

Iman said...

Zuckerberg will always be a pencil-necked geek.

Pencil-necked geek
Machiavellian freak
Half-cocked titan
With a lousy physique

boatbuilder said...

Musk should be worried, because Zuck is an alien lizard with titanium bones.

TickTock said...

Hope this silly thing never happens. No upside to this, except that Musk might get in better shape.

Sebastian said...

"A much larger, heavier man permitted to kick the little guy?"

Unfair. On the other hand, a much larger, heavier man permitted to kick a little woman would be OK.

Tom T. said...

Here is a fun article where Danny Bonaduce and Barry Williams (Danny Partridge and Greg Brady) reminisce about their charity match on the short-lived "Celebrity Boxing."

Bob Boyd said...

A much larger, heavier man permitted to kick the little guy?

Zukabug has been training, he will have the advantage.

Michael said...

Great! And then Trump and Biden could arm-wrestle for the Presidency. Save us all a lot of fuss.

Actually, without seeing the article I thought "cage-match" meant a no-holds-barred debate. That could be even more interesting - I'd still bet on Elon.

WWIII Joe Biden, Husk-Puppet + America's Putin said...

Be fun to watch the white left get behind Zuckerberg.

dbp said...

If wars were decided by the leaders fighting with each other, all countries would select someone like Chuck Norris, in his prime, or Connor McGregor, to be their leaders.

cf said...

The cage fight we NEED between these two isn't a cage fight, but a debate about history, about how Twitter & Facebook decided to decapitate our duly-elected sitting President on Jan. 7 2021 by disappearing him from the Public Plaza of discourse.

And while they're at it, discuss the subterfuge that Time magazine detailed of Zuck's Big Dem Vote Bucks pouring into the run up to the Nov. 2020 election.

On those historic and ruinous actions against our republic, Zuck Sucks.

Mountain Maven said...

Gotta like it there are some alpha males left to play king of the hill.

mccullough said...

Just do a decathlon.