May 26, 2022

"You don’t often hear people referring to their Date Lab outings as 'normal.'..."

"[I]n the dozens of interviews spanning the years that I’ve written for this column, only about three people have called their dates 'normal'.... You... might say that it is, in fact, abnormal to describe your time meeting someone completely blind while knowing that anything you say can and will be printed in The Washington Post as 'normal.' 'It was just … normal,' said Ethan Hovanic, 27, of his meal at Farmers & Distillers in Mount Vernon Square with 28-year-old Stacy Fleming. Her assessment that she arrived at independently: 'It was kind of normal, maybe?'"

From "Date Lab: He put his number in her phone. It was one digit off" (WaPo).

Stacy was willing to give Ethan another try, if only because she found him “visually attractive”... So she asked to exchange numbers and passed him her phone to put his number in. She then texted him her name so he’d have her number.... 

Their goodbye was one big miscommunication Ethan’s side of the story during his interview went like this: “She didn’t shoot me a text with her name or give me a call, so I didn’t actually have her number. And I realized that after the fact, like, ‘Oh, whoops.’ ” But she did, Ethan! She did! “Oh wow, whoops,” he said (again) upon learning that Stacy had attempted to follow up. “Maybe I gave her the wrong number. That would be unfortunate.” He did and it is. 

The number Ethan gave Stacy was actually one digit off from his actual number, which Stacy confirmed after Ethan’s interview... “I feel bad. It really wasn’t intentional. I don’t want this to come across as like, ‘He gave her the wrong number because he didn’t want to see her again.’ It’s not that at all.” And yet, Ethan didn’t want to see Stacy again....

 "It really wasn’t intentional."

22 comments:

tim maguire said...

He met her blind and she found him visually attractive. The comedy of errors would have been more romcom if they really liked each other, but since neither one cares all that much, oh well...

David Begley said...

What a creepy idea for a newspaper feature.

Enigma said...

Did they have a slow news day? Don't ask me how many times I've given salespeople a phone number that is one digit off. Random email addresses too.

Routine. Routine. Intentional. Intentional.


People have become extra neurotic because all of this minor stuff makes it into print/social media records and is thereby remembered forever.

tim maguire said...



Because of my email address, I regularly get emails for other tim maguires. Sometimes it's funny (I once had to tell the planners of a maguire family reunion that if they didn't take me off their email list, I'd show up), most of the time it's annoying. Now I'm blaming you.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

Could "normal" mean there was no sexual chemistry?

Abnormal is when "your head is gone", and that is probably a good thing, depending on how "normal" you envision a prospective relationship?

"Normal" sound terrible.

Ann Althouse said...

"What a creepy idea for a newspaper feature."

It's a longstanding regular feature. Often amusing. The people agree to do it.

Iman said...

Ass… two hands… map…

Jamie said...

Ugh. Some people, it appears, will do absolutely anything for that fifteen minutes of fame. Or are they simultaneously so desperate for human connection and so ignorant of how to seek it on their own that they're willing to expose all the ugliness and awkwardness of their mating dance to the world?

I get online dating - it can indeed be hard to meet potential mates these days, since we've stunted or entirely done away with so many of the activities that used to provide those opportunities. But why, why would you want - indeed, invite - other people to watch as you do and say potentially very embarrassing things in your pursuit of happiness?

Howard said...

Kids these days.

Tom T. said...

I glance at this column once in a while. They're almost all low-energy like this one. The arrangers clearly want to create drama when they pair people off, but they can't bring in anyone who's actually freaky, because DC daters are so career-conscious and skittish, and they can't bring in genuine political disagreement, because the WaPo audience is so narrow. This guy being Christian is as outre as this feature ever gets. More typically, they wind up with a mild political gap where she's a committed leftist activist, he knows the buzzwords to say but doesn't particularly care, and they have a blah evening together. Not once has a couple reported back that they went home together and banged.

Nobody recites their own phone number and inadvertently gets one digit wrong. That was clearly intentional (and a silly thing to do when you know you're under a microscope).

Christopher B said...

"It really wasn’t intentional."

Sigmund Freud was unavailable for comment.

Rory said...

Why would someone purposely go one digit off? If the other person should track down the correct number, it would look like a mistake was made, so they might follow up. It seems to me you'd want a wildly wrong number so that if the other did track it down they'd know there was no mistake.

Joe Smith said...

Airdrop. I give him the benefit of the doubt.

If you're going to give a bogus number it would be more random.

I would assume that most women have a bogus number memorized for just such purposes, along with a fake wedding ring when they don't want to be bothered...

Rollo said...

For the more normal outings you go to Fig Lab.

Yancey Ward said...

At least it wasn't the number to H&H Bagels.

mikee said...

Here in Austin 94.7, KAMX-FM, has a regular bit called "Waiting By The Phone." Booker, Alex, Sara, the radio hosts, contact former one-off dates for those who were "ghosted" afterwards. The goal is to determine for the ghosted male or female why their date was uninterested in further contact, let alone further dating.

While miscommunication is sometimes the reason, or just a banal indifference after meeting, sometimes the reason is hilarious. For example, leaving a used condom on the bedroom floor is a mood killer for the next date.

Christopher B said...

Would '867-5308' have been a hit?

Kai Akker said...

Two nice-looking people who had nothing in common to get interested in, apparently.

The "wanteds" were in the photo caption but they told you there was not likely to be a match here.

" Stacy Xxxxxxx is 28 and ... is seeking someone who is slim and fit, has good style and thick hair and is the “life of the party.” Ethan Xxxxxxx is 27, works in medical sales, [and] is looking for someone who is “athletic and Christian, has blue eyes and “looks like Selena Gomez.” "

Even granted they may have been answering nitwit Wapo prompts, don't their fantasies make you want to smack them somewhere? Another proof that "youth is wasted on the young." Used to hate hearing that, LOL. Now I know how true it is.

Mark said...

OK. I read the piece. She's really cute. But if you are looking for "someone who is slim and fit, has good style and thick hair and is the 'life of the party,'” then you are likely going to get someone as shallow as the desired attributes.

As for the guy -- it is never a good thing for someone to say they are looking for someone who is Christian and at least implies a desire for a religious discussion, while adding equally shallow desired attributes. Presumably he calls himself Christian, but frankly he is a poor example. I don't buy that the off-by-one-number was a mistake. She texted the number immediately after he put the digits in. Then he doesn't make sure that SHE gets home safe, either by walking her home or by texting her. Then he lied about it being a mistake.

Plus, he AIN'T all that visually appealing. He looks like an immature dork.

Bunkypotatohead said...

I can't believe a man actually wrote that story. His use of language and erratic punctuation reads like some airhead high school girl.

gilbar said...

Nobody recites their own phone number and inadvertently gets one digit wron

But! He DIDN'T recite it..
HE typed it into Her phone
He didn't look to see what he typed
Youth is wasted on the idiots

Question is, why didn't he notice her text didn't show up?

TheOne Who Is Not Obeyed said...

I wonder if things would have been different if Johnny Depp had given Amber Heard a bogus phone number.