August 5, 2017

"Police Called After Cat Lurking In Tree Appeared To Be Holding Assault Rifle."

42 comments:

rhhardin said...

If you see something, say something.

Paco Wové said...

The cat is obviously Hitler.

DavidD said...

It's. A. Cat.

Fred Drinkwater said...

Judging from the photo, that rifle had an illegally short barrel.
Throw the book at him!

fivewheels said...

Outlaw guns and only cats will have guns.

You can have Fluffikins' gun when you pry it from her cold, dead paws.

traditionalguy said...

They never should have spayed Tom. Haven't they seen Death Wish?

Feste said...

“Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.” And it could get worse.

richard mcenroe said...

How do like the red dot now, you sumbitch?

Fernandinande said...

Police were not called.

Feste said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said...

Ha I just wrote a new one today.

It goes a little something like this a here:

Well the cat is in
In in in in in in.

No DAMN cradle.

Well.the cat is in
In in in in in.
No DAMN cradle.

I don't rhyme with ladle,
Not willing or able
Able able able able able.

Sit at the table
Table table table table table.

Tell not one fable
Fable fable fable fable fable.

I am Guildlegion.

Unknown said...

I have PENT UP RAGE AND HOSTILITIES and I will be darned if this blog just ain't the PERFECT OUTLET for my (Guildy) anger gifts.

Thank you all, thank you all very much.

"Ohh oh, we're halfway there, Whoa Oh, LIVING ON A PRAYER!"

Unknown said...

I just drove by a 6' tall can, empty one presumes even at the heighted ass-outta-me-and-you risk(s), of Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup, in now-familiar red/white schema with golden accents.

Remington indeed, Remington indeed...

donald said...

Newport is gorgeous.

Achilles said...

Fernandinande said...
Police were not called.

The first line out of that link:

"NEWPORT, Ore. (KDKA) — Someone in Oregon snapped a picture of a cat holding a branch that looked remarkably like a weapon from a distance."

Definitely a 100 footer at least.

I think more reporters should get out and see some actual guns too. Some police officers in Newport as well it seems.

DanTheMan said...

My neighbor's dog chewed his Milk Bone into the shape of a gun...

Big Mike said...

I'm sure the cat responded to the verbal warning in the way that cats always respond to humans speaking to them -- with lofty disdain.

wildswan said...

It was a cat robot. They're covering it all up.

Guildofcannonballs said...

Gunga Din Or Rintintin I be all up in?

Is that you, my oldest friend Mick Finn?

"I'm gonna, I'm gonna sow yo asshoe up and then keep feeding you.

And feeding you.

And feeding you..." - Wu Tang Clan

Darrell said...

YouTube comment: "Newport Oregon Police Department: "We can't claim ownership of the photo, as we found it floating around the web dating back to last July from a source in the UK."

Dickin'Bimbos@Home said...

F yeah. Doing it right.

Michael K said...

Is that a suburb of Portland ? It sure sounds like Portland.

tcrosse said...

Time for some Common Sense cat control.

Dickin'Bimbos@Home said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dickin'Bimbos@Home said...

Bring kitteh a mouse or she'll pop a cap in your ass.

Guildofcannonballs said...

I highly recommend Comrade Detective to our very own anti-Catholic bigot tradguy.

This 1980's Romanian buddy cop comedy hates on Catholics to the Commie's Delight.

Like Reagan was hated on by these same Commies.

No new prejudices under my sun, but yours...

"Lucy, you got 'splaining to do." - Mr. Ricardo "Richie" Rich Confuscious.

Guildofcannonballs said...

I think Trump needs the Coen's to know they can, at any moment okay, of course okay, talk or agree or disagree, Whatever!, okay they are all New Yorkers, but that Mr. err, I mean potUS Trump will, as of course, you know, okay, in reality okay, make any and all of his guests feel comfortable. He won't act like he wants you to make him feel comfortable, okay, believe me alright, and that's okay.

It's okay to be okay!

Richard Dillman said...

When in Newport, be sure to eat at Moe's Chowder House, which used to have excellent clam chowder. Maybe it still does.

Guildofcannonballs said...

Interesting...

In reading my last comment, of times earlier today my thoughts about starting, along with hardin, natch, a new language sequence to later be inserted into a random comedy film, popped in, swimwear-wise (as in Errol).

The characters would all talk about the newly-created language aside one-on-one reality TV style, known only to the friends as gibberish but in actuality significantly more important to the plot but of coursely that won't be disclosed until later on, anyways I had okey-donkey variations spinning in my frontal cortex all day.

All damn day.

Trailer Park Boys don't have power, lawyers mind you, in this country do they?

Their plots are all my concoctions concoct to, sadly from me to you.

Gram Parsons, why he's Still Feeling Blue.

"Everytime I hear your name, I wanna die." - GP

Bob said...

They ARE ambush predators ya know!

Guildofcannonballs said...

They like, they like had their lime, own like words, and stuff, and would like ya know try to like have conversations with each other, it was really weird. They kept looking at each other and giggling, like totally like laughing like idiots. It was uncomfortable, to be 110% honest.

Dude that fucking language fucking bullshit idiots. They just added "okay" to any fucking word they were gonna already fucking say and then walk around as if nobody ever heard of pig Latin.

I never knew, precisely why they engaged or what value they gained was measured in, unit-wise, but only the most idioticall-blinded fool could have ever failed to notice the bond, if not content itself, of the interactions in which they utilized their unique communication method was an interesting source of potential speculations.

The fucking soup was like fucking Dairy or some shit, no fucking llama shit. I know!

The use of this type of method is not unique nor without significant failures usually unforeseen by the engagees as 'twere. You see, if you [REDACTED] their [REDACTED] their assumption, [REDACTED] and the resulting conflicts [REDACTED].

Well, it seemed as though the young men were of whistful, pleasant jovialness remeniscent of St. Paul. But only God knows for sure we understand.

Bitch be talking jive clamshit aince to fuh homeyyyy like we be 'now. Dey coo, fuck you wan'?

Linguistics, or perhaps more accurately here in terms of non-precision guided by mass-appeal-as-science-Justice-socially aka "a {person or entity able to communicate they are not as if the current ness of the statement BY NECESSITY willing to be defined as a 'person' or 'human' or 'being'} needs to eat*.

*eating being termed here precisely to mean not disturbing any environment, EVAR!

eddie willers said...

How do like the red dot now, you sumbitch?

Thread winner.

Guildofcannonballs said...

It's either "Shuttlecock Falls" or "Fetching Lucre."

Guildofcannonballs said...

You got your Bons, I got mine.


Scott....


Iver????

Jovi?

'ham.

Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding etc....

Guildofcannonballs said...

Far as I can tell, kids don't do this at home, okay, don't do this at home, but far as I can tell Tom Arnold, you remember him?, you remember Tom Arnold, Yeah, yeah, so I saw him on TV, you millennials that is the big screen you can't touch, alright we love you but don't touch the tv okay, alright, but, uh, where was I at, oh yeah but anyway, but anyway as far as I can tell Tom did some drugs with Farley after Farley got rich and had a bunch of drugs around, and just kinda made that his career.

He beat the Kardashians by a decade, and didn't die trying, all because he hung out with and heard Chris Farley tell him why he needed to hear another joke.

Sandler said in a room full of comedians Farley would make 'em all laugh, and worry a bit.

There was a Hendrix vibe.

Unknown said...

"Gandolph."

"What?"

"Gandolph Bob, you know."

"Who?"

Gandolph from Lord of the Rings Bob, c'mon here. The main guy, besides the Hobbits and ya know Bilbo the greatest little hobbit of them all."

"Bilbo?"

"Bilbo Bob yeah, Bilbo, the greatest little Hobbit of them all Bob. Bilbo Baggins. Bilbo."

"Oh yeah, yeah sure Bilbo. I'll play him tomorrow."

Ralph L said...

Someone spent too long on the Bear Garden threads.

Guildofcannonballs said...

In the parlance of our shit we parlancing be.

LordSomber said...

If someone just grabbed at that pussy they'd realise it was not armed.

William Chadwick said...

As a cat lover, I'm thankful this didn't happen in Minneapolis . . . if you catch my drift.

jaed said...

Is that a suburb of Portland ? It sure sounds like Portland.

It's nowhere near Portland. It's a coastal town.

JML said...

It is a white cat, otherwise it wouldn't be news...