January 7, 2017

"Dear celebrities... dear celebrities... dear celebritites... how many of these lame-ass videos have you made that look exactly like this... like this... like this..."

88 comments:

MathMom said...

It's about time...it's about time...it's about time!

Jake said...

Production value was subpar.

rehajm said...

When you've lost Tina Fey:

I think the real reason Hillary lost, that people are afraid to talk about, is not enough celebrity music videos urging people to vote. I hate to be that person, but I just think ... one more funny rap or a Hamilton parody, a little more hustle from Liz Banks and we could have tipped Michigan...The structure of those celeb 'get out the vote' videos always brings me joy, because you start with the dedicated people who were willing to show up and spend a day in the studio...Then, in the second verse, you get to the people who agreed to participate ... but from the steps of their trailer. It always just ends with, like, Patti Lupone singing one line from her basement on a phone. And that’s the career trajectory we all hope for, isn’t it? We’re all just punching the clock until we can be basement Lupones.

Curious George said...

Meh. Too easy. Plus SE Cupp's self love is annoying.

Danno said...

Most excellent!

rhhardin said...

Sally Field is a generic actress. I have her in 9 DVDs according to the catalog and don't remember any of the roles.

Tina Fey is more memorable. 7 DVDs but I remember one role, Admission.

David Begley said...

Will this put an end to Hollywood lectures? No.

The only solution is to ignore the celebs. Deny them oxygen.

rhhardin said...

I'd say it's not the performers in the videos but the Hollywood storyline that puts it across or not.

In Obama's 2008 video it was the music American Prayer.

All but the chorus is based on the fourth, which makes it float.

Jay Vogt said...

This was kind of fun, but I'm surprised that whoever was in charge of producing this didn't go more for a like-for-like takedown of the entertainment industry's blatant incompetence and hypocrisy. For instance: "We demand that you stop, glorifying gun violence, normalizing the creation of sexually hostile work environments, blanket stereotype characterizations of homosexuals, casually dismissing the role of fathering, etc. These are richer, more meaningful and more actionable targets.

Fernandinande said...

I like it when girls say "harder!"

Big Mike said...

@rhhardin, you don't have a DVD of "Smoky and the Bandot"? Your manly man card is being revoked in 3 .. 2 ..

mockturtle said...

Like the MSM, the entertainment industry [but I repeat myself] has a false sense of importance and relevance. These dimwits truly cannot imagine how little we care!

Laslo is far more entertaining the the rest of them combined.

Ignorance is Bliss said...

...combined

Curious George said...

"Fernandinande said...
I like it when girls say "harder!"

That kinda depends.

rcocean said...

Pulling out the Thesaurus was the highlight.

Bay Area Guy said...

Good effort, not scintillating, but I'm glad they did it. It's always good to mock preening, insufferable Hollywood leftists.

rhhardin said...

The Sally Field list greps as

absence of malice
back roads
forrest gump
mrs doubtfire
murphy's romance
places in the heart
punch line
soap dish
steel magnolias

I thought Soap Dish was entertaining but don't remember which was her.

LarsPorsena said...

Got a laugh out of me. Sweet!

William said...

The celebrity endorsements are only a small part of what I find objectionable about Hollywood. Their choice of villains and heroes is nearly always politically correct. More Americans have been killed by rogue CIA operations in the movies than by Muslim terrorists. Corporate executives, especially if they work for oil companies, are invariably evil. Tort lawyers are sometimes shown as flawed, but they rise above their flaws and pursue justice for the common man. If a government operative does something stupid or evil, there is always a picture of a Republican president hanging in their office......I could make a long list. Sometimes it's overtly manipulative, but there's a lot that you don't notice, and it seeps into you. We live in their world as a depised minority. They're doing to conservatives what they used to do to black people and Indians.

Chuck said...

I need a good lawyer.

This was my idea!

Three days ago, Althouse posted the Sally Field/Steve Buscemi/Toure/Et cetera video with the tag line, "Dear Congress..."

And my post asked why there weren't any parody videos:

http://althouse.blogspot.com/2017/01/dear-congress-we-demand-signed-majority.html?showComment=1483555252677#c8115577332381859555

Dayum!



rhhardin said...

I've watched so many DVDs that I'm at the bottom of the barrel, ordering-wise.

Generally I'll rewatch an older, more top-of-the-barrel but forgotten one rather than watch a recently ordered one, based on how many new ones I bail out of in the first ten minutes.

The original idea was watching films I should have seen back in the 70s and beyond; romcoms were interesting to the extent they came up with antagonistic-opposites-are-found-to-fit plots.

Then action movies sometimes got that better, in having the pair forced together to cope with this or that.

My idea, that I like to see outlines of, is that guys make themselves out of obligations, which in odd cases they take on, and the mutually-antagonistic woman winds up noticing, and there you have a couple.

The three-act structure tends to defeat this a little and it goes into awkward plot devices which may be more or less Hallmarkian.

So none are perfect.

I recommend Get Smart (2008) with Carell and Hathaway for the outline one that started it all, if you ignore continuity and plot faults here and there, that I attribute to a conflict between joke writers and screenwriters. Another feature is that feminist women do men's jobs well but grimly, where the guy glories in them.

A sexual difference in what holds interest.

rhhardin said...

Their choice of villains and heroes is nearly always politically correct.

Just watch with the idea that it's a generic villain. A plot device. Everything else is the same.

What doesn't work is PC characters who don't develop. You can't start good and stay good or the plot stinks.

See The Rewrite with Hugh Grant for this advice, given to an appropriate woman film student writing an autobiographical plot.

rhhardin said...

Klavan, for whose podcasts which see, is a screenwriter and has lots of film advice, most of which I don't exactly agree with. He likes noir as representing what happens when tere are no rules, which I find boring.

The rules are part of an interesting plot.

Michael K said...

The worst example of Hollywood cowardice was the movie made from Tom Clancy's novel "The Sum of All Fears" which was about a Palestinian hydrogen bombe set off at the Super Bowl.

The details of making the bomb and how it could be done were terrific.

The movie was a disaster. Clancy refused to have anything to do with it after he cashed the check.

Ann Althouse said...

@rh

Are you writing a book?

Why don't you make a web page organizing all your theories and making the accessible to mivie chosers? You could monetize it with Amazon Associates links.

Is there some reason to put everything where it is hard to see, some enigmatic game?

Is rh trying to win a damsel through this weird enterprise?

Ann Althouse said...

Movie

Not "mivie"

Gahrie said...

The best Clancy movies were the ones starring Harrison Ford, followed by the Baldwin one. Sum was a disaster...and I haven't even seem the new one about Jack jr.......

rhhardin said...

I'm interested in the "wrong feminism." A feminist blog is the place to put it.

rhhardin said...

Choreographies would be a good place for wrong-feminism clues.

Read a dozen or so pages, and just read through obscurities, to get the gems, as with most of Derrida. He actually does zingers.

rhhardin said...

Pierce Brosnan in Taffin has some spectacular moments of bad acting, I noticed last night.

An older DVD.

Usually he's believable. Uncool emotions called for in the script are a little beyond him.

A guy like him would be cool about uncool emotions.

Portlandmermaid said...

The thesaurus part was the best. He was so earnest.

Charlie Currie said...

Stay Hungry - !!! Sally Fields in the nude!!! What's wrong with you guys. Anytime someone mentions Sally Fields, that's the first image that pops into my head...then Gidget...Gidget naked...oh, my Lord...

Of course, there's also a photo of Sally leaning against a fence wearing very low cut jeans...low cut...with the finger tips of her left hand sliding down inside the waist band...

tcrosse said...

If a character in a film is shown smoking a cigarette, they're going to die.

victoria said...

Dumbest video,ever. I care about that video about as much as i care about what they are are protesting against.


Vicki from Pasadena

William said...

To quote Cole Porter, whatever rhhardin thinks about women, he thinks about women. His interest in romcoms is the kind of novelistic detail that proves conclusively he's not a bot. Other details about his life seem cgi.....Being wealthy is not frowned on in romcoms. It's actively encouraged, but the lives of rich men are truly enriched only when they fall in love with plebeian women......Random observation: Bringing Up Baby is a great movie whose greatness transcends the constraints of romcoms.

tcrosse said...

Dumbest video,ever. I care about that video about as much as i care about what they are are protesting against.
Uh oh. Sounds like somebody got up on the wrong side of History this morning.

Bruce Hayden said...

I had forgotten Gidget. I mostly remember Fields in Smokey and the Bandit, esp the scenes where she takes off her bridal dress and throws it out. And, of course, her line "I was born ready". Use it a couple times a week, and, for us, it has morphed into "I was born xxxx", where xxxx is "ready", "hungry", "good looking", etc. all said in my baratone imitation of Fields' delivery. Oh, and then there was her Flying Nun. Downhill for the last 30-40 years since those performances.

Alex said...

look vicki the liberal lunatic doesn't like the video! Shocker at 11.

Gk1 said...

Still think Portlandia's parody of this style of PSA is the best: https://youtu.be/5EZzZqxgwEk
Even liberals were mocking this back in 2011.

eric said...

I thought it was cute and funny.

But I also thought several of the women in the video were trying too hard to act and coming off as insufferable.

LordSomber said...

I think the real reason Hillary lost, that people are afraid to talk about, is not enough celebrity music videos urging people to vote. I hate to be that person, but I just think ... one more funny rap or a Hamilton parody, a little more hustle from Liz Banks and we could have tipped Michigan...The structure of those celeb 'get out the vote' videos always brings me joy, because you start with the dedicated people who were willing to show up and spend a day in the studio...Then, in the second verse, you get to the people who agreed to participate ... but from the steps of their trailer. It always just ends with, like, Patti Lupone singing one line from her basement on a phone. And that’s the career trajectory we all hope for, isn’t it? We’re all just punching the clock until we can be basement Lupones.

Lots of self-conscious backslapping, but very little about convincing the plebs whom you would have watching your video.
Perhaps these Savvy Thespians should hire a Madison Avenue firm to show them the basics of Persuasion 101.

Titus said...

gross.

those things are nasty people. and some of the places they come from are hideous.

paul ryan has the wisconsin face look. when i was home i saw it everywhere. kind of pinched and ugly and pasty pale

wish they could do 5 2 year terms and be out the door.

rhhardin said...

Leading man as rich prince is the woman's point of view. Men are gods.

A peer of the gods he seems to me, the man who sits over against you face to face, listening to the sweet tones of your voice and the loveliness of your laughing; it is this that sets my heart fluttering in my breast. For if I gaze on you but for a little while, I am no longer master of my voice, and my tongue lies useless, and a delicate flame runs over my skin. No more do I see with my eyes, and my ears are filled with uproar. The sweat pours down me, I am all seized with trembling, and I grow paler than the grass. My strength fails me, and I seem little short of dying.

Sappho might have been talking about women, but the corrected poem stands.

Somoebody should update it for feminism.

Ray said...

Re: Sally Fields
I always fantasized about helping her buy Forest Gump's leg braces (and pay the rent). I like helping the less fortunate.

Rhythm and Balls said...

Conservatives hate humanity so they resent those who can relate to it, and especially those can do so well enough to earn their living and good name off of it. In the meantime, they have no problem with wealth from shadier folks being used to skew the political process.

Ann Althouse reminds me of a circus trainer who feeds her large animals raw meat when not using the bullwhip on them to stir them up for others' entertainment. However she sometimes wonders whether she identifies more with the beasts or more with the other trainers.

The beasts only occasionally mind this confusion on her part.

YoungHegelian said...

I suspect the hand of Mary Katherine Hamm behind the video, as it was with this earlier attempt.

Rhythm and Balls said...

I think this post and the impetus for it can be summarized as follows: How dare people better looking, more empathetic and more talented than me use their fame and status to draw attention to the things that matter to them (and to most of the world!)

That about sums it up.

khesanh0802 said...

@R&B You are trying way too hard today. It's satire - joke! You need new material.

Roy Lofquist said...

"But I also thought several of the women in the video were trying too hard to act and coming off as insufferable."

Acting?

Rhythm and Balls said...

@R&B You are trying way too hard today. It's satire - joke! You need new material.

And I explained why it fails. It's nauseating. And I happen to be right - which is more important than entertaining. Of course, if you like living in a bubble like you (and these dorks) do, then you don't need advice on material anyway. You just repeat rants in an echo chamber. Doing it in a different way doesn't make it better. Just more cringeworthy.

rhhardin said...

Ann Althouse reminds me of a circus trainer who feeds her large animals raw meat when not using the bullwhip on them to stir them up for others' entertainment.

Sollers, _Women_, has the line, describing his relationship to his newly passionate girlfriend, "I was the sorcerer's apprentice...Conductor unable to control his crazed orchestra."

That's closer to the comments section.

Great book, out of print, overpriced used.

Bob Loblaw said...

Conservatives hate humanity so they resent those who can relate to it...

Right, right. The Democrats lost the the presidency, both houses of Congress, plus most of the state legislatures and governorships because... they were more in touch with humanity.

I sometimes wonder if the things you say make sense even to you.

rhhardin said...

The job of an actual troll is to be unpersuaded, not to persuade.

Rhythm and Balls said...

"Conservatives hate humanity so they resent those who can relate to it..."

Right, right. The Democrats lost the the presidency, both houses of Congress, plus most of the state legislatures and governorships because... they were more in touch with humanity.


Shorter Bob Loblaw: Political success equals success as a human being! Buwahahahahha! (Evil laugh here). Conservatives care about POWER! SO they don't NEED ANY HUMANITY! HAHAHAHAHA! Just like Stalin and Hitler did! Winners who knew that humanity was something to be used for their own gain!

I sometimes wonder if the things you say make sense even to you.

You're the dim bulb confusing your love of power with love of fellow man. Success in politics with success in art.

Perhaps painting some cityscape watercolors in Vienna for a spell might be more to your liking.

The Elder said...

Hilarious!!!

YoungHegelian said...

@R&B,

And I happen to be right - which is more important than entertaining.

You know, R&B, I've been here a long time, & in that time I can't remember anyone who's take on a complex moral or political issue was the crass & blunt statement that I happen to be right.

That's kinda the root of your problem, R&B. You think you're right, & that somehow that's important. It never seems to occur to you that there may be no "right" in many or these cases. Or, that if there is, we as human beings may not be able to know what it it is. Or, like in the Greek tragedies, that there might be equally valid moral responsibilities in conflict with each other.

No, it's all about you & you're being right.

rhhardin said...

There's a nice view of Vienna from Tullernbach I think, at the end of the one of the Vienna rail lines. Just get off and walk up the hill. At least there was in 1960.

Saint Croix said...

LOL oh too funny

Bob Loblaw said...

Shorter Bob Loblaw: Political success equals success as a human being!

Well, no. But you can certainly be so out of touch you don't even know what people mean when they say you're out of touch.

Rhythm and Balls said...

@R&B,

And I happen to be right - which is more important than entertaining.

You know, R&B, I've been here a long time, & in that time I can't remember anyone who's take on a complex moral or political issue was the crass & blunt statement that I happen to be right.

That's kinda the root of your problem, R&B. You think you're right, & that somehow that's important. It never seems to occur to you that there may be no "right" in many or these cases. Or, that if there is, we as human beings may not be able to know what it it is. Or, like in the Greek tragedies, that there might be equally valid moral responsibilities in conflict with each other.

No, it's all about you & you're being right.


That wasn't my take. That was my assessment of my take.

Of course, you could always challenge my opinion. But of course, you won't. I deduce that's because you can't.

So instead you intimate that it's my job to be own challenger against my opinion.

Go ahead, tell me what your "equally valid moral responsibility" is that you find to be in such conflict with what the modern humanities, in the form of the entertainment industry, have to offer.

Or forfeit the challenge. It's not my job to be my own advocate against a position that I not only hold, but lay out perfectly good evidence for holding.

Show me your evidence for that American conservative concern for the human condition that I so woefully miss. Is it to do with how Republican policies have treated the poor? Or how it says that gay, transgender or other misunderstood groups have no grievances to the psychological pain of being claimed non-existent or somehow unworthy of dignity and equal rights by the social conservative strains you undoubtedly sympathize with?

Maybe it's the way the current pseudo-Republican "leader" sees, as all his predecessors did, the world in terms of "winners" and "losers". Yep, such dichotomous oversimplification is a real advance in the humanities.

Maybe it's the Republican attitude that sees wealth as the only measure of success by which to measure a person's worth.

You tell me, YH. I'm getting tired of making the tired cases for the opinions you'd defend that you're obviously too tired to make, yourself.

Put in some of that hard work that conservatives say they're all about and defend the American right-wing's interest in/concern for the human condition. Go ahead.

I dare you.

Guildofcannonballs said...


This is a link that more than makes up for all the abuse I've hurled, and attempted to hurl, at folks up in this place.

You can thank me now know, and, frankly, you don't need my permission to thank me.

Guildofcannonballs said...

Well Gk you just made my list.

NOBODY STEALS MY THUNDER BUT BETA.

Fen said...

Hey Ritmo, please try harder. This is not your A game.

Also, try being more concise - I scrolled through half your nonsense because you got boring.

The vid is funny. And of course you don't get it. For the same reason you still don't understand how you got Trump. That's what makes you funny here.

Fen said...

Now back to Vicki, who will explain to us in even more detail why she doesn't care about the topic.

chickelit said...

What I like about the video is how they zeroed in so quickly on the stale methodology that the original Hollywood production used. Note that that is the real beef that the parody makers have. Message making moves too quickly to be caught out as badly as the original video(s). That was sort of Hillary's problem as well.

Rhythm and Balls said...

The video is funny? Not half as funny as how unsuccessful political conservatives are in entertainment and other media!

Now, that's funny! Especially when they complain about it.

Anyone else surprised by Feninine's inability to read? You shouldn't be. He declares how difficult reading is for him on every thread.

Right along with his declarations of being easily distracted. Add ADHD to the list of afflictions differentially impacting the American right these days, along with sociopathy, narcissism, autism, etc.

chickelit said...

In other words, they're mocking the messengers and not the message.

chickelit said...

Add ADHD to the list of afflictions differentially impacting the American right these days, along with sociopathy, narcissism, autism, etc.

Having been accused by you of those traits both here and elsewhere, I now must ask: "What are your diagnostic credentials?

Commander Crankshaft said...

In other words, they're mocking the messengers and not the message.

Well, obviously they know they've got nothing when it comes to the message.

Conservatives gave up on attacking the message, of being decent to the downtrodden, long ago. They still leave that to their psycho fringe nutjobs now running the show. But they still know it doesn't sell. So they do what their leader does: ad hominem.

They know how bankrupt their own message is. In fact, it seems these days they don't really even bother to have one.

Commander Crankshaft said...

Having been accused by you of those traits both here and elsewhere, I now must ask: "What are your diagnostic credentials?

I didn't attack you on this thread. No need to dox.

Are you really denying that the right-wing in America is self-centered and unconcerned with others?

I question your credentials for sanity if you went from once posting critical pictures of Narcissus on your blog to now pretending that Drumpf is not exactly that.

chickelit said...

Conservatives gave up on attacking the message, of being decent to the downtrodden, long ago.

To counter that, I offer you Van Jones' encounter with Trump people and what he learned. This puts a finger squarely on what Hillary missed.

Commander Crankshaft said...

To counter that, I offer you Van Jones' encounter with Trump people and what he learned. This puts a finger squarely on what Hillary missed.

It makes my point precisely. There goes Van, a Democrat, being both a) concerned with people unlike himself, and b) concerned with people not doing well.

As for Hillary:

1. She grew up a Goldwater Republican. Her interest in FDR ideals is questionable.
2. She converted the entire DNC leadership establishment to her religion of corporatism - again this has nothing to do with FDR progressive Democratic values.
3. Trump was a lifelong Democrat, so voting for him doesn't seem like the most "Republican" thing to do. Tell me how ideologically aligned he is with the rest of the party he now leads.
4. Trump is a narcissist. I don't think voting against a narcissist with a long history of subterfuge - for whatever reason - is anomalous.

Commander Crankshaft said...

That's a great video, btw. Says all that anyone needs to know about the outcome of the 2016 presidential election.

chickelit said...

I question your credentials for sanity if you went from once posting critical pictures of Narcissus on your blog to now pretending that Drumpf is not exactly that.

Ah, you're referring to this post when I was playing "stop" and you were playing "go." I still think that was a brilliant comment of yours.

But no, I'm not convinced that Trump is as much a narcissist as an egoist.

chickelit said...

S.E. Cupp steals that show, IMO. Both with her "famous" aside and her "harder" urging. I'm surprised she isn't more famous.

Commander Crankshaft said...

But no, I'm not convinced that Trump is as much a narcissist as an egoist.

So now the one asking for "diagnostic credentials" lets a textbook narcissist off the hook by throwing out a phony Ayn Rand label.

Let me break it down for you. When she invented this term of "egoist" it was just a way to justify a sociopolitical equivalent of narcissism. The kind that the Republicans have always been for and that that family in Ohio was always against: Telling the working poor that they weren't as important as the billionaires and, hey, they don't create jobs anyway.

That's exactly what narcissists do. Divide up the world into flashy "great ones" like themselves and then all the rest. Same thing that Republicans do: Billionaires and the wealthy are awesome, everyone else is ordinary and should be dismissed.

Trump spoke in a different way than all that, but everything in his history suggests it will be a sham. An act. A way for him to maintain a following while he puts the country's business on the back-burner so that he can instead attend to that all important, ego-bossting Twitter feed.

Amazing how blind you are. Ask an NT or a psychologist. Trump is clinical. No two ways about it.

He might do something to deliver on his message. But his bigger motivation is the trappings of status such as attaining office and proving he could beat Hillary. If he was any less empty than that then his empty soul wouldn't be wandering around at 3 AM like Ebenezer Scrooge being haunted by the ghosts of Twitterings Past.

Open your eyes.

Commander Crankshaft said...

S.E. Cupp steals that show, IMO. Both with her "famous" aside and her "harder" urging. I'm surprised she isn't more famous.

Well, the left-wing media do what they can to promote her and invite her on The View and other bullshit but at the end of the day she's just too prude and angst-ridden to make it - even if she wanted to which it seems she doesn't. Remember what Trump said about Carly Fiorina's sourpuss face. Cupp-holder is one step away from that. Even if it doesn't show in her face it does in her body. She's way uptight. She has to be; she's "conservative," after all. FFS, her name is two initials and a short, strange surname. What the fuck is the precedent for that? P.T. Barnum? T.S. Elliott? Yep, real glamorous people there. Give me a fucking break. And use a real name, not just some letters. What is this, elementary school? The XYZ Affair? Grow up.

Commander Crankshaft said...

C.S. Lewis?

Commander Crankshaft said...

F. Lee Bailey?

Commander Crankshaft said...

H.P Lovecraft. J.D. Salinger.

Lol. Google/Mental floss as a whole list for this. "People who went by initials."

Nope. Not a very glamorous, telegenic bunch. Using initials is a way to maintain distance, insularity.

You'd better believe the first woman to attempt to mainstream it will never be an actual celebrity.

At least invent a name. Anything's got to be better than that. S.E. Cupp. Bad enough that she doesn't have a first or middle name. But at least the others had interesting last names. Hers is a goddamn kitchen utensil.

For. Fuck's. Sake.

Commander Crankshaft said...

No one relates to an initial.

Madame X?

Can you imagine attaining intimacy with a woman who just goes by one letter?

This is like the lollliest of the lols.

Tell me again that you're really neurotypical?

Phil 3:14 said...

"I like it when girls say "harder!""

Men my age hear that a lot.

Not in a good way.

Robin Eatmon said...

I think conservatives spend too much time complaining about the constant lectures from Hollywood liberals as well as being too excited when a celebrity is a conservative and voices it in public. I think it shows it matters, even if we say it doesn't, that so many of our story tellers and creative types hate on conservatives, or anybody who is not a flaming progressive, with such ease.

Seeing Red said...

Actors are more empathetic?


Lolol

Todd Roberson said...

I'm lost: are Rhythm & Balls and Commander Crankshaft the same person?

Russell said...

I'm sorry if it doesn't have Jason Bateman telling me not to flush, I really can't take it seriously.

JamesB.BKK said...

The answer obviously is that more bakers need to be bankrupted for "humanity" in case they offer to decline to participate in some types of ceremonies. To encourage the others. This excludes Muslim bakeries though because of "sovereignty of an entire religion" and fear that members of a peaceful religion might somehow be goaded into becoming mass killers (again). Also, more funds need to be taken from folks such as me at gunpoint to be handed off to help the "poor" to continue to participate in failed cultures that produce good gangster rap and body counts but alas not much more of long-term use.

mockturtle said...

Todd asks: I'm lost: are Rhythm & Balls and Commander Crankshaft the same person?

Yes.