September 1, 2016

"I especially hate seeing a man drinking from a straw."

I said, responding to Brando, in the Coca-Cola post, who said "[Coca-Cola] is an intellectual beverage, if you sip it in a tall glass with a bit of ice and a straw, and wear a monocle. It's all in the presentation." My reaction was: "I absolutely loathe straws. The only reason for them is to pierce those plastic lids on take out cups. I especially hate seeing a man drinking from a straw."

Is this some weird quirk of mine or do I have support? I have support:

1. "After ordering a drink, do you take the straw out?"
I'd get a good chuckle out of seeing a man drinking his hard liquor through a tiny mixing straw.
2. "Real Men Don't Use Straws," by Malcolm Freberg:
I want you to think about the most macho movie characters imaginable. The ones who define hero, the ones your dad hero worships. James Bond. Indiana Jones. John McLane. Now think about any scene in which they drink anything, be it water or alcohol or exotic space poison. I bet your Luminosity-trained brain couldn't insert a straw into that scene if it tried.

Harry Stamper does not suck Sprite through a bendy straw. Bruce Wayne does not drink pina coladas with a crazy straw. Real men don't use straws.... Hollywood and society had a meeting in our collective subconscious and decided that straws are for sissies. Obviously no one's going to see you sipping a gin and tonic through a cocktail straw and yell, "Hey Sally, that guy looks like he's sucking a tiny dick!" You may not have even considered that straws look like penises until you read that. I'm sorry -- but knowing is better than not knowing.
3. "Why Men Hate Straws":

116 comments:

rehajm said...

After I stir the drink the straw is in the way. Then I don't know where to put it. Lay it flat on the table and it leaves a little puddle or sticks to a bare surface. On the side plate?

I can always add 'no straw' to the list on my already OCD drink order.

richlb said...

In a cocktail, the straw is explicitly forbidden. I hate when people use the STIRRER as if it's a mini-straw.

At a restaurant with any other beverage, a straw is fine. It's a sanitary thing. if you knew what was on the edge of the glass, you'd always require one. You can get away with it on a cocktail because (yeah, it's probably factually untrue but psychologically works for me) the alcohol kills the bacteria.

And lastly, I know people who drink dark beverages (cola, tea) through straws to avoid staining the teeth.

Fernandinande said...

Malcolm Freberg sez: "Real 'macho movie characters' don't use straws."

Macho movie characters also don't buy groceries or use parking meters.

Wilbur said...

I like the little straw in my vodka and tonic. Since I quit smoking (albeit lightly then) several years ago, it gives me something to hold in my hand while in a bar. Never really occurs to me to drink through it.

If you're such a germ-a-phobe that you worry about drinking glasses in a restaurant, you might want to consider just staying home and wrapping yourself in plastic. A phobia is an irrational fear.

traditionalguy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
traditionalguy said...

Will Transgenders get mad when waiters add an unrequested straw implying they are still female.

You can fight the good straw fight, but at the end of life, the nurses at the Hospital or Rehab Home are still going to push those hinged at the top drinking straws.

Brando said...

Well, there's a time and place for everything. No one is supposed to drink out of a stirrer (for cocktails or hot beverages). But some things you need a straw for--such as root beer floats, or to-go cups, or when you're trying to drink and drive (much harder drinking directly from the cup while you're driving). Do you ever see James Bond drinking a root beer directly from the glass? No, you don't. Point proven!

MadisonMan said...

How else does one drink a milk shake but through a straw?

Bob Ellison said...

Straws help people with mobility/stability issues. That's another, very important reason for them.

William said...

Just now, for the first time in my life, I have pondered the issue. Ordinarily I don't use straws. They do, however, serve a purpose when drinking frothy stuff, like ice cream sodas, milkshakes, and frappaccinos. You need a straw to get to the liquid at the bottom. I suppose real men don't drink ice cream sodas, but real men do what they got to do........Anyway, although I don't ordinarily use straws, neither do I ordinarily form uncharitable opinions of men who do. I'm tolerant that way.........It's interesting to note that we can express hostile opinions about straw users, but we must be far more circumspect in expressing any opinion about men who wear pancake makeup and push up bras.

Brando said...

"How else does one drink a milk shake but through a straw?"

Clearly Althouse considers milkshakes sinful and the devil's work.

See, I used a straw man argument in an argument about straws. We're through the looking glass, people.

rehajm said...

Sipping through the cocktail straw is appropriate when consuming a proper mint julep. Doing so buries your nose into the mint leaves.

David said...

I never use a straw.

Much prefer to tip my glass too much near the end of the drink and have the ice and liquid fall in my lap.

Brando said...

"Sipping through the cocktail straw is appropriate when consuming a proper mint julep. Doing so buries your nose into the mint leaves."

Good point--applies to mojitos too. Drinks involving muddled mint require straw use.

Rick said...

"I absolutely loathe straws. The only reason for them is to piece those plastic lids on take out cups.

The purpose of a straw is to mitigate spill-risk from the sudden collapse of ice formations. So while I do remove the straw it's largely because I don't drink anything with ice in it.

Laslo Spatula said...

From 'The Community of Color Gazette':

"Man of Color Refuses to Use Straw at McDonalds"

Gregg Foster, a Black Man of our Community of Color, was observed drinking his beverage without a straw at the McDonalds restaurant.

"Yeah, I did," concurs Mr. Foster. "I just take the lid off and drink from the cup."

Deborah Giles was in the restaurant at the time of the event, and confirms the story.

"He just took the lid right off, and started drinking. He didn't even take the straw out of its paper."

When asked, Mr. Foster said he believed drinking from straws was feminine.

"Drinking from straws is for bitches," Mr. Foster said, laughing. He then added "I don't really care what anyone else does, that's their own sh*t. I just don't use a straw, that's all."

But wait: there is more to the story. Lynda Hamilton, a cashier at the McDonalds, says that Mr. Foster also orders his drink with no ice.

"That's right. I don't need no ice. I'd rather have more beverage," Mr. Foster responded, confirming the allegation.

When asked about what he ate with his beverage with no straw and no ice Mr. Foster became serious.

"None of your f**king business," he said, ending the interview.

So there it is: a Story of Change in our Community of Color. For more stories like this please read 'The Community of Color Gazette'.


I am Laslo.

Ron said...

So if you watch a recent "Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee" Seinfeld take J.B. Smoove out in a Studebaker Avanti...at about 7:08 in, Jerry starts ragging on straws! It's pretty funny.....

Eric the Fruit Bat said...

It's taken a while but I've gotten used to guys wearing sunglasses on top of the head.

Rob said...

Ann, when you see a man in shorts drinking through a straw, is your hatred additive or multiplicative?

buwaya puti said...

When I became a man I put away childish things.

Btw, I find the best way to carry and drink wine is with a Spanish bota. Very social. Very handy for ball games. The opposite of a straw, conceptually.

Eric the Fruit Bat said...

Pretty sure the astronauts used to take their meals through a straw.

An exception to the general rule, possibly.

D.D. Driver said...

The exception to the "rule" is fast food cups. What's more manly than stuffing your face with a Big Kahuna Burger and drinking a giant Sprite?

https://youtu.be/Mnb_3ibUp38?t=2m6s

Ron Winkleheimer said...

Actually, the purpose of the video was to make fun of men for not liking straws. And yes, I don't generally drink out of straws because that is something children do.

Lance said...

The only reason for them is to piece those plastic lids on take out cups.

But why do we put plastic lids on to-go cups? For the same reason we have sports cups with straws/spouts, and give sippy cups to small children, and bottles with nipples to babies: to eliminate spillage.

So for me, using a straw with an open-top container is an admission that you don't know how to drink. It's not a guy thing, it's an adult thing.

Birkel said...

A straw is a tool. Tools are used if they make whatever activity I am doing easier, on net.

Cars are tools. They make traveling easier. I do not choose my car based on styling. I choose my car based on the functions I wish it to provide that I will use.

I could not care less about the opinion of others about my use of a tool.

Also, Samuel L. Jackson in Pulp Fiction uses a straw, as does John Travolta.

DKWalser said...

I just prefer drinking from a glass rather than a straw. And, by glass, I mean a container made from that substance rather than plastic or, much worse, paper. That doesn't mean I won't use a straw. I used one yesterday -- while I was driving. But, if I'm seated at a table in a restaurant, I'll remove the straw and drink from the glass. Appearance plays no discernible role in my preference. I just prefer the mouth feel of drinking from a glass.

bagoh20 said...

Real men drink whatever they want however they want, and could care less who's watching or what they think about it.

I like a Pina Colada with fruit, an umbrella, and of course a straw.

What kind of a pussy chooses his drink to look manly, and then worries if he's drinking it manly enough? That guy sounds like a chick.

David53 said...

While Cruising to St Thomas I drink artisan crafted Mojitos through stir straws, I am that secure in my manhood. Astronauts have used straws. James Bond wore shorts in several movies and research shows that men who wear shorts are likely to sometimes use straws.

Ron Winkleheimer said...

I especially liked how her ideology of gender differences being completely artificial and the result of cultural norms led her to the conclusion that is opposite from reality. To be fair, whether or not drinking from a straw is manly is a cultural construct, but the construct existed before the marketers took notice of it and crafted their wares to conform to it. The situation was not, as she stated, that marketers were creating the norm.

buwaya puti said...

Manly cups are machined from 1095 steel.
But drinking straight out of the stream, or directly from the victims body, is better.

Roger Sweeny said...

Are marketers "uselessly gendering products" as the youtuber says, or are well-meaning anti-genderers trying to eliminate relatively inherent gender differences?

I think that's actually one of the more important questions of modernity.

buwaya puti said...

Or, as the Mongols did, from the open veins of your horse, while its alive. But thats only if you're really far from the 7/11.

Birkel said...

I usually drink from straws when I have stirred in some iocane powder and am battling a Sicilian with death on the line.

mikee said...

Bendy straws are one of the great creations of modern times, allowing one to drink from a cup while reclining (as on a couch, or in a hospital bed) without spillage.

And real men drink their beverages any damn way they please, to hell with the opinions of others.

Ron Winkleheimer said...

@Roger Sweeny

Marketers are taking guns and gun accessories and tools and other goods that were at one time considered to be male orientated, coloring them pink and marketing them to women. They would not be doing that for very long if the goods didn't sell. This is causing much cognitive dissonance for anti-genderers.

http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=pink+guns+for+ladies&qpvt=pink+guns+for+ladies&qpvt=pink+guns+for+ladies&qpvt=pink+guns+for+ladies&FORM=IGRE

http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=pink%20tools%20for%20ladies&qs=n&form=QBIR&pq=pink%20tools%20for%20ladies&sc=1-21&sp=-1&sk=

And yes, I know that pink for girls, blue for boys is totally arbitrary.

Ron Winkleheimer said...

And real men drink their beverages any damn way they please, to hell with the opinions of others.

This is also true about quiche.

Birkel said...

Ron Winkleheimer:

How do you drink your quiche?

CStanley said...

Agree with a couple of other commenters who've said it's about the ice.

Maybe it's because I live in the South and ice cubes tend to melt and refreeze themselves into lumps in the glass, and then surprise you by tumbling forth from your iced tea glass as an unstoppable torrent of ice and tea.

Hubs, however, manages without a straw. Maybe he drinks faster before all the melting and refreezing happens, or maybe he has some manly trick for controlling the flow, I don't know.

Clyde said...

Milkshakes and frozen drinks like margaritas, etc., need a straw. If you try to just tilt the glass up, you're going to get a big chunk of iciness in the face.

buwaya puti said...

Manly cups machined from 1095 are very durable, almost alway reusable after extraction from the bodies of your prey. Since 1095 is prone to rust they have to be kept lightly oiled, which affects the taste of your beverage, but that seems a trivial and unmanly consideration.

buwaya puti said...

Milkshakes are for kids and margaritas are for women and gays.

Fernandinande said...

Using straws is what distinguishes humans and other fancy animals from the crummier animals.

MikeR said...

Dolphus Raymond, sipping coke/whiskey through a straw.

Ron Winkleheimer said...

How do you drink your quiche?

As God intended, straight from the cup without any damn straw!

tola'at sfarim said...

The Althouse is a harsh mistress.... no straws, no shorts what other joys will you kill

buwaya puti said...

Now, you could go with a tough stainless like 154CM for cups, and that does fix the taste problem and makes cleanup and maintenance easier, but there is the hit on the manliness factor of fondling the tools.

Brando said...

"Milkshakes are for kids and margaritas are for women and gays."

Sacrilege!

Brando said...

"As God intended, straight from the cup without any damn straw!"

Everyone knows real men drink their quiche from the skulls of their defeated enemies, or sometimes a straw made from the forearm bone of their annoying neighbor.

Charlie Currie said...

Yeah, but, how do you get the flavor out of a "Flavor Straw" if you don't suck on the straw?

BDNYC said...

It's too much like sucking a cock.

Big Mike said...

@buwaya puti, I drink milkshakes in fast food restaurants. Wanna make something out of it?

Brando said...

"It's too much like sucking a cock."

This raises way too many questions, starting with how thick are the straws you've been using?

Big Mike said...

Also Icees and slurpees.

buwaya puti said...

Big Mike, you can also order the happy meal and keep the toy.

rhhardin said...

Straw man, final straw, grasping at straws, calls for a straw poll.

eric said...

Dana Carvey does some stand up about how impossible it is to drink from a straw and look cool. It's pretty funny but I couldn't find a link to it.

rhhardin said...

I drink everything from my coffee mug, that's moved to the left side of my desk now owing to the new transceiver where it used to be on the right.

You don't find any women with transceivers on their desks.

C R Krieger said...

I thought there was a health issue here, as in can you be sure the glass was well washed by the restaurant?  A straw reduces the risk of picking something up off the rim of the glass.  On the other hand, I don't go to the extreme of someone I know, of wiping down the eating utensils with a slice of lemon.

Regards  —  Cliff

Wilbur said...

This reminds of a story in a Jimmy Breslin book concerning Babe Ruth.

As I remember it, he came off the golf course on a sweltering day, entered the bar and boomed to the bartender "Hey kid, make one of those &^%$$* drinks you make me." Patrons watched as the bartender threw several large jagged chunks of ice in a metal mixing tumbler, poured several types of liquor into the tumbler, stirred it and then plunked it down in front of The Babe. Babe turned from his companion, picked it up and swallowed the contents in one continuous chug, ice chunks and all. People remarked he had to have a pipe the size of a trombone to do that.

Babe don't need no stinkin' straw.

Char Char Binks said...

Straws are for children. I take the straw out, or i just put it to the side and drink directly from the cup. I may use a straw while I'm drinking and driving, but that's the only good reason I can think of to use one.

Rusty said...

Straws care for malt and shakes so you don't get them on your beard. You don't drink beer from a straw, do you?

Scott said...

Visited Australia with my wife a few years ago. In a Sydney restaurant we ordered Cokes or tea (alcohol came later). Hers came with a straw, mine did not. We thought -- maybe it's to keep a woman's lipstick from getting on the glass. Asked the wait person (young woman). She said if an Aussie man was served a drink with a straw in it, he'd throw the drink on the floor and such behavior would be expected. Straws are not masculine in Oz

dbp said...

As mentioned before, one can look menacing and sort of by definition, manly, when drinking through a straw. But Sam Jackson is a professional actor, so your results may fall short.

For myself, I don't care how I look when I drink but prefer the sensation of having my beverage freshly sieved through ice before it enters my mouth. That places it at peak coldness. I also keep my glasses pre-positioned in the freezer to avoid any premature watering-down of my drink.

Birkel said...

Rusty:

No. But if I did I would expect not to hear one single peep about it.

tomaig said...

So not one word about moustaches? Nobody has a moustache that gets soaked with soda if you drink it straight from a full glass?
Yeah,I use a straw...

buwaya puti said...

Skull goblets are controversial. Its something all youths are tempted to do, but experience quickly exposes the downsides. Most important is that cleaning is hell on bone.
Also that skull that seemed such a trophy in your teen years is quickly overshadowed by sheer repetition, and in time your victims are merely dust beneath your feet.
Now, I can see giving some notable loser you rather liked the honor of making a goblet out of him, but its best just as a keepsake, up in some dusty place.
You will find that your women and slaves will clean it sometimes anyway, out of love for you. Indulge them.

MathMom said...

My husband always asks for a straw and uses it for water and soft drinks. I'm not sure how he drinks a Margarita, but no straw for beer. He had a stroke a few years ago, and drank coffee through a straw in the hospital, until his speech therapist had a cow and said he could get pneumonia on top of the stroke if he got liquid in his lungs because of a swallowing problem. So he did no straws until he could swallow properly again.

I use straws if there is a lid on the cup, otherwise I drink from the glass.

Obama drinks through a straw, and looks like an idjit when he does.

Bad Lieutenant said...

Ann, respectfully, it's interesting how eager you are to tell others what and how to do and be, and how wildly resentful you are when it is done to you. Any connection there?

Personally, I do what I want, as seems suitable to me at the time. I bet you're like that too, although with an extra veneer of "whatever I do is right because reasons which I will supply if you make me."

That said, the tactile pleasure of drinking from the lip of a glass, steel or ceramic vessel is such that I would have none but perhaps some functional (anti-spill, reclining, frozen) reason to use a straw, whereas if my drink is served in plastic, I might have more inclination not to touch the nasty adiabatic thing with my flesh, but would be unlikely to call for a straw if one was not provided. If I were served a dirty glass I would send it back.

Obviously fast food cups need straws because the lid provides essential structural rigidity to the disposable (i.e., efficient lowest-bidder cheapjack) drinking vessel.

It also happens that different chains use different straws. The McD straw is highly evolved and superior to most generic straws, as are their napkins.

Related question: glass or bottle?

Paul Snively said...

Wow. That video is some kind of master class in trying too hard. In comedy, less is more, miss!

Bad Lieutenant said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bad Lieutenant said...

Buwaya puti,

Skull goblets' main problem to my mind is how do you attach the stem? What is it made of? More bone? Which bone is ideal, or must you machine, say, a femur down to suitable dimensions? If not, you have the usual dissimilar materials problems.

If there's no stem, it's just a cup or bowl.

Brando said...

"Skull goblets are controversial. Its something all youths are tempted to do, but experience quickly exposes the downsides. Most important is that cleaning is hell on bone."

I sort of figured if you're drinking enemy blood, you don't care too much about the hygiene of the skull. But then, if you do this frequently enough you have to keep those considerations in mind.

TWW said...

...while wearing shorts.

rehajm said...

A straw is intended for a man if it is attached to headwear.

Ann Althouse said...

"How else does one drink a milk shake but through a straw?"


A good milkshake is made with ice cream and should come with a long spoon. You give it a stir as it is continually melting and it is drinkable. If it's super-thick at first, the spoon works for eating it like ice cream.


A bad milkshake comes out of a machine, is made from a weird powder, and stays really thick the whole time. I wouldn't want one of those, but I'd find it unpleasant to suck through a straw.


You get less flavor with a straw, bypassing the sensitive front of the tongue, shooting liquid to the back of your mouth.


"Sipping through the cocktail straw is appropriate when consuming a proper mint julep. Doing so buries your nose into the mint leaves."


And it also works to keep ice from colliding with your face if the glass is packed with ice.


"The purpose of a straw is to mitigate spill-risk from the sudden collapse of ice formations. So while I do remove the straw it's largely because I don't drink anything with ice in it."


Yeah. Ice is bad.


"But wait: there is more to the story. Lynda Hamilton, a cashier at the McDonalds, says that Mr. Foster also orders his drink with no ice."


Where's the McDonald's where they fill your cup for you? Haven't seen that in a good long while.


"So if you watch a recent "Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee" Seinfeld take J.B. Smoove out in a Studebaker Avanti...at about 7:08 in, Jerry starts ragging on straws! It's pretty funny....."


Must see! I love that guy. Jerry too.


"Ann, when you see a man in shorts drinking through a straw, is your hatred additive or multiplicative?"


No! The shorts are de-masculinizing, so further de-masculinization doesn't matter. It's like the way you'd care more if a pretty woman belched than if an ugly one did.


"The exception to the "rule" is fast food cups. What's more manly than stuffing your face with a Big Kahuna Burger and drinking a giant Sprite?"


That is some very funny straw-drinking by a man. That's WHY it's funny. The incongruity. It would also be funny if he suddenly danced on his tippy toes.


"Actually, the purpose of the video was to make fun of men for not liking straws."


Yes, I know, but it establishes the point that there are a lot of men who do think it's bad for a man to drink with a straw and her imitation of a man shows that it really does look bad.


"I thought there was a health issue here, as in can you be sure the glass was well washed by the restaurant? A straw reduces the risk of picking something up off the rim of the glass."


Being fussy about germs doesn't seem too manly.


"Wow. That video is some kind of master class in trying too hard. In comedy, less is more, miss!"


I know and check out the titles of the books she's got line up behind her, such as "Pnin" by Nabokov.

mockturtle said...

Isn't the skull goblet some kind of Masonic rite?

AJ Lynch said...

Milkshakes are an exception.

buwaya said...

"Pnin" by Nabokov

I love Pnin. But I keep it on my Android tablet so nobody can see I have it.

Kindle edition is available through the Althouse Amazon Portal!

HoodlumDoodlum said...

You may not have even considered that straws look like penises until you read that.

Uh, if your dick looks like a straw you should probably see a doctor. Like...I know we're all against body shaming, and that's fine, but you may have a legit medical condition, man.

HoodlumDoodlum said...

Dimitri Martin - Drinking w/Straw


Mitch Hedburg: (referring to his drink) I got two straws here, in case one breaks down. You know Crazy Straws, they go all over the place? These fuckin' straws are sane. They never lost their minds. They said "We're going straight to the mouth. That fucker who takes a while to get there? He's crazy."

Hey Skipper said...

Last week I was having dinner with with a work friend; since it was a nice night we sat outside. (I live in Düsseldorf. Like many European cities, the city center is a pedestrian zone, and there are lots of pedestrians.)

Like restaurants do, they served Gin & Tonics with a straw, which I ordinarily pitch post haste.

In the G&T this place put artisanal berries, which just happened to fit perfectly in the straw. No bonus points for guessing what happened next.

Might have had something to do with arc, range, and cleavage.

Not saying it did, mind you, just that it might have.

It isn't as easy as it might sound getting a berry to nestle between headlights.

Not saying that we tried, just that we might have.

HoodlumDoodlum said...

Bubble Tea!

Gotta have a straw for bubble tea, Professor, and in fact you gotta have a big one. Maybe that's ok--maybe it's a big manly straw, a veritable pipeline of beverage that requires the suction only strong, masculine lungs can provide.

Anyway Hillary Clinton drinks bubble tea with a straw so it's got to be OK.

Ron Winkleheimer said...

Yes, I know, but it establishes the point that there are a lot of men who do think it's bad for a man to drink with a straw and her imitation of a man shows that it really does look bad.

Yes, every one of her conclusions was gainsayed by her own statements and demonstrations.

Having arrived at her politically correct conclusions (that gender differences are bad and men having different preferences than women is bad) rendered her imperious to logic and reason.

Her conclusion did not conform to the evidence she was presenting.

Truthavenger said...

All right, this has been a pet peeve of mine for a long time. Ice cubes are the problem. When you drink from the rim, the ice cubes form a dam right in front of your lips, and block the flow of liquid, so that all you get is a little trickle of liquid, instead of that satisfying big gulp of tea or cola.

It's even worse at home, because my refrigerator ice maker makes cubes in a half-moon shape, and the curve of the cube forms a near perfect dam against the curve of the drinking glass. Argggg!!!

So that's a reason to use a straw. But I would rather take a big satisfying gulp from the rim. I have even designed, in my mind, some kind of ice cube restrictor that holds the cubes down inside the glass and allows the liquid to flow to the rim. I'd pay a lot for something like that. Or perhaps I should invent it, and market it, and become the Bill Gates of ice cube restrictors.

MadisonMan said...

Most milkshakes I get are made from ice cream, not a mix. If I were sitting at a counter, then a long metal spoon would work, as you say. Most of the time, though, I will get the milkshake to go. (Even from Mickie's Dairy Bar!)

There is really nothing more annoying in milkshake land then drinking it without a straw and having it suddenly dislodge itself from the upturned cup. Suddenly your entire lower face is covered in milkshake. It's not a good look on anyone.

Fernandinande said...

HoodlumDoodlum said...
Anyway Hillary Clinton drinks bubble tea with a straw so it's got to be OK.


"I am bubble tea. Suck my balls."
Trigger warning: shows a straw.

Ron Winkleheimer said...

My philosophy for straws is that I will use them if I am driving and have a fast food cup because you need to put a lid on to guard against spilling liquid in your car. Anywhere else, no straw. Straws are for children and the infirm.

John Wayne, Lee Marvin, and Robert Mitchum never used a straw.

Brando said...

"Uh, if your dick looks like a straw you should probably see a doctor. Like...I know we're all against body shaming, and that's fine, but you may have a legit medical condition, man."

And if it starts looking like one of those "crazy straws" you might want to consider a job at the carnival.

Ron Winkleheimer said...

Lee Marvin did, however, sing in that unfortunate movie. Along with Clint Eastwood.

http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=paint+your+wagon+comedy&&view=detail&mid=17C85925AADB12E4BAAE17C85925AADB12E4BAAE&rvsmid=8020F76284A62C7145148020F76284A62C714514&fsscr=0&FORM=VDFSRV

Brando said...

"Lee Marvin did, however, sing in that unfortunate movie. Along with Clint Eastwood."

Good point. After that, drinking from a straw--even with a raised pinky finger--pales in comparison. Eastwood had to make Dirty Harry just to make up for that.

buwaya said...

Men can sing, why not?
As long as its a manly song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fc-DgRO1SrQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8JDkdc246QQ

MathMom said...

Bad Lieutenant -

Adiabatic! Great new word for me. Thanks.

An adiabatic process is one that occurs without transfer of heat or matter between a thermodynamic system and its surroundings. In an adiabatic process, energy is transferred only as work. The adiabatic process provides a rigorous conceptual basis for the theory used to expound the first law of thermodynamics, and as such it is a key concept in thermodynamics.

Shawn Levasseur said...

Between this and other food related posts that went down the same path (think onion rings and carrot sticks), I think Althouse needs a new tag:

Freudian Food Imagery

n.n said...

skulls of their defeated enemies, or sometimes a straw made from the forearm bone

Another untapped market for Planned Parenthood et al. The State-established Pro-Choice Church cannibalizes its enemies in defeat. A genocide of unprecedented extremes carried out in the privacy of abortion chambers.

Shawn Levasseur said...

Which leads me to add:

Sometimes a straw is just a straw

Rusty said...

Do you know why , if you have a beard or mustache , it's obligatory to drink your milkshake or malt through a straw?
So you don't walk around smelling sour milk for rest of the day.

dwick said...

Is this some weird quirk of mine or do I have support? I have support:

One can find support for most any dim-witted idea/complaint with a bit of Googling on the internet.

jebkinnison.com said...

When I was a student I drank lots of Diet Coke, and as a result lost the enamel on the tops of my teeth. All carbonated beverages are somewhat acidic, but Coke is especially so, and it will dissolve calcium from bone faster than it can be restored. So today I allow myself carbonated drinks like Dr. Pepper or ginger ale a few times a day, but only through a straw, which reduces exposure of the tooth enamel substantially.

There being an excellent practical reason to use a straw, I don't care how it looks. I'd rather keep my teeth.

Marie said...

No one else mentioned this scene from Crazy, Stupid Love? Ryan Gosling offers to help Steve Carell find his lost manhood...and the straw matters.

SukieTawdry said...

I discard my straws, too (except for the to-go cup). I particularly dislike drinking water and hot beverages through a straw. Oh, I will sip the occasional Grasshopper through those little straws, but my "regular" is vodka with a twist and I repeatedly rim the glass with the lemon to keep getting the taste I want. I do know people, including men, who simply can't proceed without a straw.

SukieTawdry said...

After skimming the comments, I agree that you do need a straw for milkshakes and ice cream sodas.

Brando said...

" I particularly dislike drinking water and hot beverages through a straw. "

I don't know if I've ever seen anyone drink a hot beverage through a straw--maybe with hot chocolate or something if it's covered in whipped cream or some toppings that make simple sipping difficult. Plain beverages like water I think the only time you need a straw is if you're laying prone (like at the hospital after surgery) and need something that can bend a bit so you don't have to raise your head.

As some comments above note, it's also a good thing to use a straw if you have sensitive teeth or a mustache.

tim in vermont said...

I thought it was just me. I pull the straw out immediately and set it aside. I take the cover off of drinks, I always figured people must like them since they always insist on giving you a straw. I never associated it with manhood though, and don't know or care if anybody around me uses theirs or not.

Paul Ciotti said...

You've got a finely developed sense of etiquette for other people.

rightguy2 said...

This post is really distressing to me. I have a significant upper body disability and I never drink anything without a straw. I thought this was a safe zone! Oh well...

Biff said...

What Birkel and Bagoh20 said.

I come from a family and social circles with a lot of rough-hewn male construction workers, cops, mechanics, military grunts, factory workers, etc., and whether to drink out of a straw or not has never been a thing with that crowd. I've seen lots of them use straws, and I've never seen anyone raise an eyebrow at it.

A "manly" man drinks what he wants, when he wants, and how he wants, whether that means with a straw or without a straw.

...though he may be careful to avoid the use of pouty, duckface lips while sucking on a straw.

jaed said...

This is so like the shorts thing that you should put a "shorts" tag on it, IMO. The problem here is that men sucking on straws tend to look like overgrown children. It's the same aesthetic problem as a man wearing saggy shorts and a too-big short-sleeved tee shirt. He looks like a big old child.

Nonetheless, even you, Althouse, have discovered a picture or two of a man wearing shorts in which he looks like a man, not like a little boy. And it's likewise not hard to discover men drinking through straws who don't look at all childish or feminine, but like men.

Darrell said...

A straw is like a cigarette without the smoke and ash.

Ann Althouse said...

"No one else mentioned this scene from Crazy, Stupid Love? Ryan Gosling offers to help Steve Carell find his lost manhood...and the straw matters."

Thanks. Didn't know that movie.

ndspinelli said...

Beside the sissified aspect there is the even more important scientific component. When you use a straw you draw the fluid from the bottom of the glass. The beverage is coldest on top, where the ice is floating. So real smart men, and women, don't use straws.

ndspinelli said...

You should not use a straw after oral surgery. Or oral sex either.

Bill Smith said...

Back in the summer of 1992 I was in Grand Central Station in New York, about to board a Metro North train to New Haven. I had time to pick up a Coke to take on the train. So I'm standing in line to check out at one of those little delis in the station. Right in front of me is a little old man, also buying a cold drink. The young woman behind the register takes his dollar and does her thing, then passes to him the can of soda, with a straw.

Little old man explodes in rage: "Don't you EVER give a STRAW to a MAN!!!!" And a bit more.

I'd never have lost it as he did. But somehow I knew, intuitively, men don't need straws. Or want them. My wife says a straw helps you keep from messing up your lipstick.

Has anyone else witnessed a strong anti-straw reaction from a man?

Marie said...

Has anyone else witnessed a strong anti-straw reaction from a man?

Nope. I don't pay much attention to strawman arguments. :-)

stevo said...

Alcoholic comedian Doug Stanhope always uses a cocktail straw while on stage to spare the audience the sounds of ice related tinkling and slurping. Hero

n.n said...

Straws are a tool to access and regulate fluid intake. They are used when they serve a purpose and discarded when they don't. Aesthetics have much ado about nothing.

Unfortunately, they are also dual-use tools that are critical to sustain a transnormal female gender lifestyle, taxable commodities, and democratic leverage.

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