September 26, 2016

An Althouse blog first — since I don't see anyone else doing it right — a drinking game for the presidential debate.

Trump says "And by the way." 1 sip.

Clinton coughs. 1 sip for each second beyond 1 second.

Lester Holt corrects something Trump says. 1 sip.

Lester Holt corrects something Hillary says. 1 large gulp.

Clinton claims to have been a champion of women and children all her life. 1 sip.

Anyone mentions "the glass ceiling." 1 sip.

Somebody says "basket of deplorables." 1 sip.

Trump says "We have to do it" or "We have no choice." 1 sip.

Anyone says "Still dicking bimbos at home." 1 large glass.

Either candidate refers to the other as a big liar. 1 sip.

Clinton uses her long career in government as a positive factor/Trump disrespects a long career in government. 1 sip.

Trump portrays himself as a newcomer to politics in a positive light/Clinton disrespects newcomer status. 1 sip.

Clinton refers to the times Trump has insulted a woman. 1 sip.

Trump brings up Clinton's efforts to discredit Bill Clinton's women. 1 sip.

Clinton is referred to as "The Bitch America Needs." 1 large gulp.

Anyone gets caught up in the meaning of the concept of being "qualified" to be President. 1 sip.

Any reference to Trump steaks. 1 sip.

Any reference to Skittles. 1 sip.

Any reference to anyone's hair. 1 sip.

Any reference to how much sleep either candidate needs. 1 sip.

An answer begins with "Well" and then a pause. 1 sip.

Trump says his father told him not to attempt to build in Manhattan. 1 sip.

Hillary says her mother worked as a maid. 1 sip.

Either candidate refers to the other's supporters as under-/over-educated. 1 sip.

Hillary calls Trump "Donald." 1 sip.

Trump calls Clinton anything other than "Hillary Clinton" or "Secretary Clinton." 1 sip.

Anyone says "What have you got to lose?" 1 sip.

Hillary delivers a laugh line that you are 100% sure is scripted. 1 sip.

Hillary delivers a laugh line that you are at least 90% sure is spontaneous. 1 gulp.

Someone mentions Arnold Palmer. 1 sip.

Someone mentions the new Museum of African American History and Culture. 1 sip.

Anyone says "Citizens United." 1 sip.

Any reference to Americans as "hard-working." 1 sip.

Any comprehensible explanation of how Hillary will or will not repeal the Second Amendment. 1 sip.

Any mention of dogs or cats. 1 sip.

Any reference to something that will be done on the first day. 1 sip.

Hillary uses one of Trump's characteristic hand gestures (such as the index finger poised on the thumb). 1 sip.

Either candidate — except at the very beginning or end — leaves his/her place behind the lectern and moves into the other person's territory. 2 large gulps.

85 comments:

Portlandmermaid said...

So, we're drinking the whole time. Yay!

Curious George said...

Sips? You're new at this right?

Rick said...

Clinton refers to the times Trump has insulted a woman. 1 sip.

Are you trying to kill people?

Boot factor 10.

Meade said...

Anyone gulps water. 1 sip.

Anyone sips water. 1 gulp.

tim in vermont said...

I want Trump to say he's the son of a bitch America needs. Not likely, but it would be fun.

I won't be watching by the way. Neither one of them can change my vote, since I am voting Libertarian. My Hillary friends say voting L is a vote for Trump, my Trump friends say voting L is voting for Hillary. I say I wash my hands of this whole mess. One particularly persistent Hillary supporter has been told that if he didn't shut up about it, I would vote for Trump. It worked.

vicari valdez said...

i'm going to have a lot of fun not watching these debates.

AprilApple said...

"Still dicking bimbos at home." - LOL!


If Trump repeats the whole Colin Powell quote about Clinton = boom, he wins the election in November.

"I would rather not have to vote for her, although she is a friend I respect... A 70-year person with a long track record, unbridled ambition, greedy, not transformational, with a husband still dicking bimbos at home."

-- Colin Powell - media super-star

Tari said...

Hillary falls down in some sort of fit: drain the bottle at hand.

The debate will be on in my house, since it's my 16 year old's Gov. class homework for tonight, but I will be hiding upstairs.

J2 said...

It might be better if he notes Colin Powell's remark that Clinton wrecks everything she touches because of hubris. Can't remember exact wording.

Christopher Hitchens said Colin Powell was the world's most overrated person.

Bill said...

ALTHOUSE LOL!

*hic*

David said...

Hillary loses consciousness?

Kegger!

Birkel said...

At current trend, the Republicans hold the House easily and the Senate with a few to spare.

The presidency is an even money bet.

I will ignore these drinking games in hopes of not dying of liver failure before the election.

Fabi said...

I got a contact buzz just reading the rules!

David said...

" I will be hiding upstairs."

From the gov. class or the candidates?

Eric Landgraf said...

I am diabetic and if I pursue this drinking game then I may die in the ER of Dover General before the night is over.

tim in vermont said...

We need comprehensive immigration reform with a pathway to full and equal citizenship. - HRC

The Cracker Emcee said...

"Anyone says "Still dicking bimbos at home." 1 large glass."

Please, Lord. If anything would make four years of Hillary worth it, that would be it.

Kate said...

Hillary faints: libation for the gods.

Maguro said...

From the gov. class or the candidates?

You can't hide from Hillary, unless you're in Benghazi.

Eric Landgraf said...

What do we do if Hillary pulls out a handgun and shoots the Donald on live TV AND a dying Trump stabs Hilary in the right temple with an Ice Pick? All of this action occurring in live TV before a grateful nation of viewers.

I say we hold a national three day holiday and let the Veeps compete for the POTUS job.

Open cash bar at every tavern in the land.

gadfly said...

How can we possibly remember all those rules? I thinking, chug when things turn weird - and hope that Hillary wears Depends tonight.

tcrosse said...

Anybody, including Lester Holt, does a Spit-Take: Finish the bottle.

Fabi said...

Over/under on 'Not who we are as a nation/people'?

DKWalser said...

I've never been so glad I'm a Mormon as I am now. I'm sure anyone playing this game accurately will be blotto by the time the debate is over. The only disadvantage to being a Mormon is that watching the debate might require something strong to keep from going crazy.

Fabi said...

Hillary gives a shoutout to Chuck -- beer bong!

Johnathan Birks said...

Mother of god woman how many livers do you think I have?

Grant said...

How do we know The Original Laslo didn't create this post?

wildswan said...


Hillary falls down in some sort of fit: drain the bottle at hand.

Yes!!!

Tari said...

I'm hiding from the debate, and I'm bringing the alcohol upstairs with me. For the sake of the children, of course. *sip*

Big Mike said...

I hope you're drinking something very weak, or tomorrow morning's hangover will be epic.

Michael K said...

I am at my 50th medical school reunion. We are postponing dinner until after the debate.

wildswan said...

I see Hillary has special wide-load lectern made for her hippy self. And she has her chase car - Lester Holt.

I'm sure he intends to ambush - if he wants his job, he has to and if he wants his ratings in the future he better not. So what will poor tortured Lester do? Funny how everyone near the Clintons is degraded and corrupted.

Tank said...

How many gulps if the big black dude makes an appearance?

LYNNDH said...

I bet Lester wishes he could drink too!
I note that Ann did not say what she would be drinking

PBandJ_Ombudsman said...

Sheesh, what's w/ this list of rules?

I remember having the Jager Olympics and Beer Pong, what the hell sort of college did Althouse go to? Dork U?

TWW said...

Clinton doesn't show up; cancels.

Clinton walks off the stage, returns five minutes late smiling and waving.

Clinton falls off the podium.

Clinton says, "What difference does it make now."

Clinton says, "I can't remember."

Curious George said...

The tax code is shorter.

tim in vermont said...

Clinton's one eye wanders from Trump to the Microphone back to Trump while her other eye stays fixed in an angry glare at the camera.

David Begley said...

Althouse, the humorist.

robinintn said...

Fabi grabbed "Not who we are". I propose a small sip for each reference to "the middle class" and each mention of "how hard" s/he will work as president.

rhhardin said...

I thought it was last night. Imagine my disappointment this morning.

Mark said...

Either candidate — except at the very beginning or end — leaves his/her place behind the lectern and moves into the other person's territory. 2 large gulps.

You know, they say Trump is a buffoon -- and he is -- but he ain't the first. If Rick Lazio had not been such an overwhelming buffoon, Hillary's electoral career probably would have been ended 16 years ago. A buffoon not because he approached Her Royal Highness in their debate, but because he was such a wuss when afterward he was challenged on it.

Mark said...

Hillary pulled the crybaby beating-up-on-the-girl card then too.

Mark said...

Lazio had a reason to go over in that debate. Algore, on the other hand, was just a creepy stalker. There's a difference.

John Taylor said...

Also, Bingo Card... http://www.cbs.com/shows/the-late-show-with-stephen-colbert/debate-bingo/

tim in vermont said...

Who gives a shit what Colbert or John Oliver, for that matter, think. Oliver had a little spot on HBO between movies where he pretended that he didn't understand irony or sarcasm from Trump. Quit a humbling pill to swallow for a man with pretenses to comedy.

PBandJ_Ombudsman said...

Maybe this post is an attempt to lure back Palladian.

I hope it works.

Comanche Voter said...

Played our way Ms. Althouse, this debate is going to be a drunkard's delight. The watchers will all be passed out and horizontal within 30 minutes after the debate starts.

PBandJ_Ombudsman said...

I would have gathered some Ardbeg if I knew Palladian was coming around.

Anywho, at least I know he's cool w/ the Blue stuff.

PBandJ_Ombudsman said...

I wish they were allowed to have teleprompters.

I love it when DJT reads his prepared texts and adds his own commentary. "So true."

PBandJ_Ombudsman said...

Sometimes it's a double: "So true. So true."

Then you know he's being really sincere.

Mrs. X said...

At this rate, you'll be too drunk to blog tonight and too hungover to blog tomorrow and then what will we do???

tim in vermont said...

Watching True Grit on Netflix, just got to the part where Little Blackie died. Having a belt on that.

Sammy Finkelman said...

Trump saying “Believe me” is not in here?

And a lot of these things, nobody says.

PBandJ_Ombudsman said...

"At this rate, you'll be too drunk to blog tonight and too hungover to blog tomorrow and then what will we do???"

I think we should rejoice in knowing that Althouse has taken one step backwards on the Asperger's path. Not that there's anything wrong w/ that path. But, it does seem a bit confining. And, less confining seems like an ok thing.

Sammy Finkelman said...

How about also:

Clinton says “You know” or “people tell me” or “I read” or cites a quotation, misattributed or not.

Sammy Finkelman said...

Clinton cites a source, or an authority, for a statement of fact or opinion.

Source is a stuidy or an organziation. Authority is a person.

Crimso said...

'Anyone says "Still dicking bimbos at home." 1 large glass.'

That is pure gold.

tim in vermont said...

Clinton avers that there are two many coal miners in this country and chortles while saying that they should find other jobs.

tim in vermont said...

Trump says "I'm very smart." Tiny sip, we don't want to get to blotto too early.

320Busdriver said...

Prediction

Trump wins the debate poll at Drudge....lol

PB said...

With all the hype, I expect to see a lot of disappointed people. Not sure who, but I hope it's the media.

MayBee said...

hahahaha, Althouse! love it

Joe said...

How about the whole bottle if anyone points out that this isn't a debate, but a press conference.

tim in vermont said...

Hillary refers to Trump as "her husband" again. A shot.

LordSomber said...

What is it we're sipping? Alcohol or Kool-aid?
Alcoholic Kool-aid?

320Busdriver said...

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2016/08/05/yes-donald-trumps-hands-are-actually-pretty-small/

SHOTGUN

tim in vermont said...

Prediction, New York Times, Washington Post, and NPR declare Trump the winner.

lol.

FullMoon said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
tim in vermont said...

Ooops, Freudian slip there, I guess.

wildswan said...

Camera moves away so we can't see Hillary getting out of the car. Media Enable 1

Sammy Finkelman said...

Hillary Clinton will probably cite this lead front page story in today's New Yor Times:

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/09/26/business/economy/millions-in-us-climb-out-of-poverty-at-long-last.html

In the printed newspaper the headline goes;

WITH PAY RISING
MILLIONS CLIMB
OUT OF POVERTY
-------------------------
ECONOMIC TIPPING POINT
--------------------
More and Better Jobs --
Blacks and Hispanics
Gain the Most

Chuck said...

The Rules of Golf are easier. There are only 34 of them.

Fabi said...

Quite the coincidence, Sammy.

wildswan said...

How will I create jobs? Women's right's, clean energy

Trump talks about jobs. Leaving America. Reduce taxes to keep jobs here. Renegotiate trade deals

buwaya said...

Yiannopoulos did not ride in on an elephant, so there is that opportunity wasted.

wildswan said...

Lester intervening on Trump's answers, not Clinton.

Chuck said...

Trumpie goes full protectionist.

wildswan said...

Lester attacks Trump again on IRS. Totally unfair. Trump is debating Holt and Clinton. No checking on Clinton by Holt

Ignorance is Bliss said...

We're gonna need a bigger liver.

wildswan said...

Lester Intervenes. Trump fights back

wildswan said...

Lester intervenes again on birther.

Chuck said...

If "believe me" required a drink, there'd be a lot of hangovers.

tim in vermont said...

Trumpie goes full protectionist.

We know that you and Hillary are free traders, losers be damned!

Man in PA said...

Shoot! I wish I had seen this *before* the debate!