August 1, 2016

"Every time I put them on, I am conscious of the fact that I am now being disobedient in my marriage."

Quote from a Wall Street Journal article titled "Nice Cargo Shorts! You’re Sleeping on the Sofa/Relationships are tested by persistence of 1990s fashion item; ‘a misshapen lump.'"

69 comments:

HoodlumDoodlum said...

“It’s a reflection on me, like ‘How did she let him out the door like that?’ ” she said.

Geez, flip the genders on that one and the Media'd crucify you in a heartbeat.

(Meanwhile who wants to bet these mouthy broads quoted in the article leave the house in yoga pants/pseudo workout gear at least twice a week?)

HoodlumDoodlum said...

"Hey honey, you've put on a few pounds and can't wear that outfit I like you in--do something about that, ok sugarlumps; when you look bad it's a reflection on me."

Ignorance is Bliss said...

Cargo Shorts! ...a misshapen lump.'

That's why I only wear hot pants. ( And the lump is quite nicely shaped, thank you very much! )

buwaya said...

My wife tells me I dress like a Cuban taxi driver -
but she doesn't mess with my clothes.

Jack Wayne said...

I think this can be classified as a macroaggression. Is that really where you want to go? Maybe it's time to stop and reflect on the arc of your life. Your whole life has been dedicated to grinding off the rough edges so we can all procede to conformity. But therein lies the rub. Your path leads to stagnation.

n.n said...

Act your gender.

coupe said...

Never marry a girl named Ashleigh. No good can come of it.

CachorroQuente said...

In an article about how out of style these shorts are we find:
"Sales of cargo shorts have fallen over the past year for the first time in a decade."

Reminds me of the old Yogi Berra joke:

"Nobody goes there anymore; it's too crowded."

n.n said...

Or perhaps a loss of fidelity. Same difference. It's the Age of Progressive Confusion.

Phil 3:14 said...

I like the extra pockets.

buwaya said...

True about grinding off the rough edges.
It is time to grow some rough edges.
I intend to take up smoking and alcoholism, and indeed I have started drinking more.
If cigars were cheap... next time I'm in Manila I will lay in a supply.
I have started writing a novel, so all that goes together.
Maybe I shall take to dressing like a gypsy, or a moro, or a gaucho.

Bill Peschel said...

"Detractors​ say they’ve been out of style for years, deriding them as bulky, uncool and just flat-out ugly."

I'm gonna save myself some life-time and not finish the article.

And I hope for Mrs. Hansen's sake that her husband doesn't get tired of her unilateral decisions and find a more accommodating spouse.

David53 said...

Cargo shorts are great for concealed carry, you don't want an outline, you want your weapon to look like it's just a part of a misshapen lump.

HoodlumDoodlum said...

Full disclosure - I wore a pair of cargo shorts two days ago. I used one leg pocket to hold a pair of safety goggles (well, the case really) while cutting limbs for about an hour using a chainsaw on a long pole (with extension pole in the middle, even). I was about 90 degrees and about 98% humidity, near Atlanta (it rained off and on). The shorts did well (a little too long, but the pockets were fine and they have these side waist-adjustment deals that worked well).

That was the second time I'd worn those shorts, having bought them a few weeks ago. I bought them to replace a pair I bought probably 11 years ago--the inseam stitching finally wore through on that other pair. I can confirm that Macy's still sells cargo shorts (I bought one pair of regular shorts and the cargo shorts, both on sale, both in the "discount" section with the off brand stuff). I wore both at the beach on vacation.

I'm not all that concerned with how people I don't know think clothes I find comfortable look. I dress appropriately for my environment and situation, and if you're offended by my shorts I guess that's your problem.

Adamsunderground said...

Cargo pants leg pockets are perfect for smart phones. You'll never crack the screen again and can sit totally unencumbered by the device.

rhhardin said...

You can't beat cargo shorts. I prefer the 5" inseam size.

Fabi said...

Melania Trump would never give it up for a guy in cargo shorts.

buwaya said...

Phones are easy - just put them in a shirt pocket.
I like Guayaberas - the kind with pockets

https://www.amazon.com/Squish-Cuban-Style-Guayabera-Shirt/dp/B00E1TDNZU/ref=sr_1_2?s=apparel&ie=UTF8&qid=1470096679&sr=1-2&nodeID=2476517011&keywords=guayabera

Its like polo-barongs but cheaper and more available in this country.
Ideal for California weather.

Adamsunderground said...

Someone should make an animated .GIF of Rhett Butler saying, "[You're] precious, Ashleigh."

buwaya said...

Hawaiian shirts work also.
https://www.amazon.com/Pacific-Legend-Tropical-Hibiscus-Plumeria/dp/B00IJCXZA8/ref=sr_1_1?s=apparel&ie=UTF8&qid=1470096922&sr=1-1&nodeID=2476517011&keywords=hawaiian

And they go very well with shorts!

buwaya said...

Some of those shirts though - if you have that "look" it may seem like you are working security for someone. Guayaberas in particular.
But maybe that works for you.

Guildofcannonballs said...

I buy cargo shorts from Sears, Amazon, Walmart, Goodwill and Target.

Every year or two I can find some really great deals, $10 or so.

They give me the identity I'd always felt the lack of, that which I had sought with so much breakheart failure, that to acknowledge the Missing was do induce traumatic psychic pain, before the mighty Cargo came 'round.

Once I had my first, I swore I would never again be without, and I have kept that oath.

All sorts of beige, three or four greens and blues, different camo patterns, white and off and off off etc.

Adamsunderground said...

Cell phones in shirt pockets do not flatter man boobs. Well, they do add a plateau, but that's beside--or atop the point.

buwaya said...

"Cell phones in shirt pockets do not flatter man boobs."

I do not know these "man boobs". They sound inconvenient.

Adamsunderground said...

A sunken chest yields no treasure at the beach for a young pirate eager for booty. Yar

Tari said...

I have never been delusional enough to think that I had veto power over what my husband chooses to wear. He's my husband, not my child. Unsolicited fashion advice isn't something he signed up for when we married, nor did he agree that I had the right to steal and destroy his personal property.

As far as men wearing shorts at all - we live in Houston. Men wear shorts here, period.

hamiyam said...

I wear mine with red suspenders...keeps the paunch from waterfalling!

rhhardin said...

Some women like to show their husband off to friends so the friends know what a good deal she made. These are the anti-shorts women.

YoungHegelian said...

I have one pair, & I don't much care for them.

It's not that I'm such a fashionista (har!-har!), but that I don't like where the hem breaks at on the knee. I don't like feeling, (oh, what's the proper term?), a hem when I move my leg or knee. Shorts that are a little shorter avoid the problem. I also don't like to have a bunch of stuff swinging around in my pockets. That's why I have a man-purse, by golly!**

**I keed, I keed.

readering said...

I have one pair and for the life of me I cannot recall how I acquired them. I don't even like to use the pockets that much because they weigh down the pants.

buwaya said...

"Some women like to show their husband off to friends so the friends know what a good deal she made. "

Mandatory reference -

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gtVcIFWqT_4

"A la lima y al limon" - Conchita Piquer, a copla by the team Quintero, León y Quiroga

Basically "Sex and the City" in 3 minutes.

La vecinita de enfrente si, si,
a los treinta se ha casado,
con un señor de cincuenta, si, si,
que dicen que es magistrado.
Lo luce por los paseos,
lo luce por los teatros.
Y va siempre por la calle
cogidita de su brazo.

The neighbor across, yes yes,
At thirty has married
A gentleman of fifty, yes, yes,
They say he's a magistrate
She flaunts him on the walks (the paseo is a Spanish custom, too much to explain)
She flaunts him in the theaters,
And she always goes down the street
clutching his arm.

Rob said...

A misshapen lump just broke the glass ceiling and is the Democratic Party nominee for President of the United States. A little respect please.

tim in vermont said...

Detractors​ say they’ve been out of style for years...

Among a certain set of strivers, maybe, or people worried that they might be mistaken for people of a lower caste.

Humperdink said...

Due to basil cell issues, I never wear short sleeve shirts or shorts of any kind. So what does my lovely bride bring home? Three pairs of shorts. I wore one pair once. In two years they will be in the Goodwill bin.

Cell phone in shirt? Never. While helping my grandson land a fish, it fell into my pond. I retrieved it. Then saved it by driving around with it sitting on the defrost vents at full heat.

PBandJ_LeDouanier said...

Now I see how Althouse could become a fan of men in shorts. Too bad that her revenue generating Amazon portal can't link to thousand dollar linen cargo shorts, like those mentioned in her WSJ link.

Robin H said...

This is not about cargo shorts. This is about respect in the relationship. Tari said it, she has no right to throw away his property. How long did they date before marriage? Did he never wear them that whole time? Did she think that after marriage she could change him? This will not end well. I see divorce in their future if she can't respect his choice in clothes, it'll be her way or the highway the whole time.

MaxedOutMama said...

Does one really want one's husband to walk out of the house dressed like girl candy?

Guys should not have to conform to their wives' fashion instincts. Provided that the men are clean and reasonably covered so that mothers don't have to cover their children's eyes when the hubby walks by, men should be allowed to be happy in the wardrobe that's functional for them.

Reasonable exceptions include social events when the wife is present, esp. with family, and helpful work wardrobe tips. But for kick-around clothing, men should be allowed their preference.

I also second the sexist element prevalent here. If there were an article about men telling their wives to cover up, the screaming would reach the stratosphere.

Grant said...

The thing I don't like about my cargo shorts is that the pockets and loops catch the drawer knobs in the kitchen almost every time I walk by. But I wear them anyway because it's kind of a challenge.

rcocean said...

When I was young, I kept my strong, manly legs under wraps because women would go wild when they saw them.

But my wife likes it when I show them off. So, i now wear cargo pants everywhere.

Tari said...

"There are probably 10,000 pairs of cargo shorts at Minute Maid right now."

With the heat index right now, it's 101, even as the sun goes down. Even if the roof is closed, it's warmish in there.

"Some women like to show their husband off to friends so the friends know what a good deal she made."

I always preferred Bonnie Raitt and Sippie Wallace's advice - "don't advertise your man".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dky2n83VuvY

john said...

"Tom Lommel, a 46-year-old actor in Los Angeles .... who often works from home". That's just another way of saying "unemployed".

To Tom's wife: let Tom wear his shorts, they're all that he has right now.

Iapetus said...

Cargo pants are to men like huge pocketbooks are to women. When I go out to do some "serious" photography, I don't put the assorted odds and ends I need, like extra batteries and filters, in a camera bag; I stuff them into the pockets of my cargo pants. Between the camera, a couple of lenses, and either a monopod or tripod, a camera bag---even a backpack---is just an annoyance. Everything I need for the day fits into my pants pockets and I'm good.

walter said...

Comment deleted

This comment has been removed by the author.

8/1/16, 7:55 PM
--

Deleted by a fearful pants-shamed "man"?
Let's see what this "Ashleigh" looks and dresses like.

Fabi said...

I've been stopped on the street several times by unknown women who complimented my great looking legs. I wear shorts eight or nine months of the year, and hope to continue such for decades to come. My dad wore shorts into his seventies, so there's precedent.

PBandJ_LeDouanier said...

Btw, shouldn't Althouse be more concerned about all the dudes who wear clothes that are too big for them?

The worst thing about the dudes that are pictured in the WSJ link are the insanely too big shirts.

OTOH, maybe there are reasons for these big clothes. I can see that dudes w/ a little (or a lot of) chub may like to hide under overly large garb. And, I've noticed small to small-ish dudes who seem to think a bigger size on their clothes labels is some sort of compensation for un-stature (e.g. when Meade was pictured wearing a way too big jacket.)

Pointing out fatties and littles may seem mean, but in the Trump era we don't have time for political correctness. Btw, I'm a winner, I can wear clothes that fit because I'm not fat or little. Believe me!

walter said...

Oh..we believe you both..couple o' dandies ;)

coupe said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
rcocean said...

My wife shows me off everywhere.

I feel used.

walter said...

Blogger Fabi said...
Melania Trump would never give it up for a guy in cargo shorts.
--
She married the duck-tailed Orange Crush. I don't think fashion was the lynchpin.

walter said...

Going beyond stating a preference to teh point of throwing out a spouse's clothing seems like a yuuuge overreach.
But when the undercarriage fur is so voluminous it becomes airborne, I can understand a polite request for trimming.

Michael McClain said...

Cabella's cargo shorts in the 5" seam are close to perfect. Pockets are just fine for a large smartphone and the hip pockets fit a water bottle for hiking. They're not baggy, but roomy enough to be comfortable. 5.11 tactical cargo shorts are a bit longer, but still fine for yard work, camping and hiking.

At 66 years of age, my fashion statement is basically "Screw off"!

Michael McClain said...

Oh, and here in South Texas, most all of us wear cargo shorts for comfort and utility.

buwaya puti said...

"I've been stopped on the street several times by unknown women who complimented my great looking legs."

You too?

walter said...

I would think female "cisgendered" sig. others would prefer their men wear shorts in warm weather. Because..ventilation.

MathMom said...

Did Meade write this article's title? Does he wear cargo shorts when Althouse isn't looking?

I don't wear them because I look a bit too much like full cargo shorts anyway. But I think they are remarkable. I had a client who casually reached down into one pocket and pulled out a large sandwich, and took a small bottle of water out of another. I never would have guessed.

MikeD said...

Men in shorts, what a varied history:
As 13 year old males in 1956 Santa Cruz, CA we wore "clam diggers" kinda guy version of "pedal pushers" (only cause my best buddy's Dad owned Santa Cruz Shirt Factory & they'd acquired Balboa Swimwear).
Fast fwd. to mid-60's Sacramento, CA,; summer wear, daytime only, was Bermuda Shorts (no socks, black or otherwise).
Fast fwd. to mid 80's Newport Beach,; CA, Ocean Pacific corduroy shorts the daytime choice.
Fast fwd. to 21st Century Amador County, CA, cargo shorts to carry non-smart phone, doggie treats & energy bars for 8-10 mile walks. Walks are now much shorter but cargo habit hard to break. See New Guinea tribes post WWII.
BTW, all fast fwd.s' denote years w/o shorts!

David said...

I'm trying to imagine what the reaction would be if I threw away some of my wife's clothes.

There. I've imagined it. I think I will leave her clothes alone.

Fabi said...

I'm unbelievably sexy on the Internet!

Jane the Actuary said...

The only thing in the article worse than the wife throwing away her husband's clothing is the fact that the reporter wrote about this as if it was a perfectly natural, indeed necessary, thing to do if said husband doesn't follow the right fashion rules.

Beldar said...

Depending on the mutual consent and understanding of the parties, a spouse might acquire a legitimate interest in his or her spouse's wardrobe and appearance and fashionability.

Some people are happy to cede the decision; undertaking to be "obedient" costs them nothing.

Others place a higher value on individual choice, individual comfort, or even the simple pleasure of being a nonconformist. Among such, even if spouses, this may be a negotiation. Compromises must be supported by mutual consideration, a mutual trade-off of some sort, to be valid.

And then there's me, and those like me, who don't care a whit what anyone thinks of our cargo shorts, be that the Wall Street Journal, Prof. Althouse, or Martha Stewart. We wear white after Labor Day too. And if we were to care, we'd only care enough to be amused, mildly, but well short of laughing out loud or rolling on the floor.

walter said...

This all reminds me of the retort "First world problems".
Life is ok if you can spend energy deciding how to abscond with your husband's shorts.

jaydub said...

Shorts with cargo-type pockets are very popular everywhere in Europe in the summer because they make life difficult for pickpockets. Put your wallet in one and your phone in the other and you'll spend a lot less time trying to spot the gypsies or fighting off their urchin offspring. I've never known anyone whose pocket was picked while wearing shorts with cargo-type pockets, no doubt partly because there are easier marks around wearing less challenging clothing. Even "murses" don't work as well because the strap can be cut.

BTW, my first wife was somewhat like some of the women in the article - entitled, pushy and my-way-or-the-highway. Cost me a couple of mil to get to the highway, but it was money well spent.

Dan Karipides said...

I am more amazed by this quote:

“Those teenagers are now married, and they don’t get rid of their clothes. They don’t evolve,” said Joseph Hancock, a design and merchandising professor at Drexel University, who wrote his Ph.D. thesis about cargo pants.

Ph.D. about cargo pants. That's ... wow, just wow.

virgil xenophon said...

My Father, a collegiate tennis coach, wore bermuda shorts all summer. Mainly golfing, but around town as well (and mildly shocking the conservative element in our small midwestern farm town in the 50s, lol) As a ranked collegiate tennis player myself, shorts came naturally to me (as well as a set of good-looking legs :) ) and during my college days @LSU (class of '66) bermuda shorts (and shorter) no socks and Bass Weejun shoes (I do date myself, don't I?) were de rigueur for my generation for daily wear. Entering the AF upon graduation and thru the yrs I've worn them less and less strictly as fashion, but most often for yard work, etc., here in hot, humid South Louisiana. At age 72 my legs are still ravishing on the golf course for my age (and to my wife :) ) but I'm afraid shorts as a way to "attract the babes" is no longer part of my game plan. :)

Rusty said...

OTOH, maybe there are reasons for these big clothes. I can see that dudes w/ a little (or a lot of) chub may like to hide under overly large garb.

Hence my passion for Hawaiian shirts. Or as my girls call them man-mumus. And outsized cargo shorts.
I'm not fooling anybody.

MadisonMan said...

I was also struck that one could get a PhD about Cargo Shorts. Really?

Now that I've a smart phone, I do wonder where to put it. Cargo shorts would work for that, I guess.

One thing I will never wear: Cargo pants with zip-off legs that become cargo shorts. No. Just No.

PatHMV said...

My wife is fine with my cargo pants. She's happy to hand me things to carry for our 3-year-old: shoes, extra shorts, sunglasses. "Here, put these in your purse pants," she tells me.

I don't mind my wife giving me fashion advice, she's certainly better at it than me, but how miserable it would be to be married to a woman who would just throw your stuff away knowing that you don't approve and are actively opposed to her doing so.

Unknown said...

I will never clothing advice from someone who would actually wear high heels. And shoes that literally turn their big toe inward. No thank you.

William Chadwick said...

In the city where I live, cargo shorts are a "de rigeur" component of what I call "the Alrightnik Leisure Uniform." They're usually worn with untucked polo shirts, flip flops, and baseball caps, often with the bill reversed, stupid-fratboy-style. I've seen as many as twenty guys in a group, and except for minor various of shirt color, they're pretty much identically dressed in the above-described fashion. My friends and I like to call them "Our Men in Uniform."