May 3, 2016

Justin Verlander is engaged to Kate Upton.

I'm seeing lots of news stories about this, and they all feature pictures of the exceedingly gorgeous Kate Upton. I think that's unbalanced gender-wise. Males and females are fully equal in the modern American marriage. So let me correct the imbalance. Here is Justin Verlander:



ADDED: The news of the engagement came out as a result of Kate's wearing a big diamond ring to the Met Gala. You can find her somewhere on this page, which has about a hundred photographs of models, singers, and actresses as dressed up as humanly possible. I recommend Claire Danes in a big ballgown that lights up in the dark, Lady Gaga and Madonna strapped into elaborate bottomless things, and Taylor Swift stealing my hairstyle.

58 comments:

Eric the Fruit Bat said...

It's what's inside that counts.

Limited blogger said...

ok, fine. Now please post some Upton shots.

Martha said...

Lucky man!

Bobby said...

Most of my office mates seem to believe that Upton is responsible for the decaying pitching career of the once other-worldly Verlander.

And, really, I can't disagree with them: if I were dating Kate Upton, I'd be up all night doing... other things... with her, too, and I suspect I wouldn't be able to focus much on my pitching the next day, either.

mezzrow said...

Verlander clearly knows what's hot. Here's a classic moment from the past.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oH-T4TxTrW8


MayBee said...

That's a Trump-tweets-Heidi-Cruz level photograph of Verlander, though.

Paul Sand said...

Said in my Les Nessman voice: "Congratulations... on your very good looks."

rhhardin said...

My dvd log shows her in The Other Woman, which was okay but I couldn't say which woman she was.

It's the all actresses look alike problem.

My rule from college is don't date actresses, good except that all women are actresses.

Sebastian said...

"I think that's unbalanced gender-wise." Good unbalanced or bad unbalanced? If good, good because it favors women or because it favors men? If bad, bad because it makes women feel bad or men feel good, or if "feelings" are taken out of the "reasoning" here, bad because it could be argued to violate some general feminist principle?

coupe said...

The thing is, that most men in her economic class are homosexual. Heterosexual men are really not all that good looking or bathed.

EDH said...

"You smell amazing. What is that?"

"I think it's just sweat."

Ann Althouse said...

"That's a Trump-tweets-Heidi-Cruz level photograph of Verlander, though."

It's the picture of him that appears at Wikipedia, just the standard picture. I can't be accused of looking for something particularly bad. That's exactly what he looks like. I'm sure he's a fine physical specimen.

Ann Althouse said...

But have you noticed how many people these days have an underbite?

Henry said...

Oh, how could you fail to use this picture?

Most of my office mates seem to believe that Upton is responsible for the decaying pitching career of the once other-worldly Verlander.

The Olivia Munn theory resurfaces!

In truth, Verlander stopped being otherworldly in 2013.

Paul said...

"Males and females are fully equal in the modern American marriage."

Males and females are not "equal". It's the bilology, stupid. All the Maoist force feeding of gender equalism into the narrative will never stop the natural human impulses hardwired into our brains. In a contest between these two the beautiful female will ALWAYS be the object of more genuine interest visually.

EDH said...

Ann Althouse said...
But have you noticed how many people these days have an underbite?

Isn't that just his chewin' tobaccy?

Paul said...

It's also obvious that the most valuable asset for females is physical beauty. Men not so much, as is demonstrated here.

Big Mike said...

What is it you females like so much about a two-day growth of beard? Ever since Don Johnson as Sonny Crockett ... (shakes head)

Curious George said...

They met at The Perfect Club.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w9das6ybAr4

tim in vermont said...

Probably hung like Joe DiMaggio.

Big Mike said...

@Althouse, you look like Taylor Swift? Meade, you lucky dog, you.

coupe said...

EDH said...Isn't that just his chewin' tobaccy?

Yep, he has the ammoniated coffee grounds under his lip, and he spits all day like a Maine coon cat...

Fernandinande said...

Justin Verlander is engaged to Kate Upton.

Brings to mind the Lenin/Trotsky "who whom".

Freeman Hunt said...

Kate Upton? Is that the one who married the prince? No, no, then they'd have to be divorced.

Static Ping said...

As a guy, I've never been good at gauging how attractive a man is. Ugly I can identify pretty quickly, but I rely on women to identify handsome. The way I see it, Kate thinks he will do so he's plenty good enough looking. Anyway, in 10 years most likely he'll gauge about as attractive as he is now and she'll probably be a level or two less attractive, though given her starting point that will still put her among the most beautiful women in the world.

Sebastian said...

"Kate thinks he will do so he's plenty good enough looking" Projecting. Women aren't as superficial as men. She likes him for his sense of humor, knowledge of 1920s baseball trivia, and ability to discuss the Critique of Pure Reason while playing the banjo.

William said...

The most stylish and attractive accessory that a good looking woman can wear is a homely man. Nothing sets off her beauty more. If you have a large, flawless diamond, you don't want to obscure its beauty by putting it in a flashy setting. I support her choice and think that more beautiful women should choose such men. I hope this becomes a trend among supermodels.

m stone said...

Nothing accentuates a super model's wardrobe better than a World Series ring.

Static Ping said...

Sebastian: "Kate thinks he will do so he's plenty good enough looking" Projecting. Women aren't as superficial as men. She likes him for his sense of humor, knowledge of 1920s baseball trivia, and ability to discuss the Critique of Pure Reason while playing the banjo.

What do you think "good enough looking" means? It means that!

Meade said...

Big Mike said...
"@Althouse, you look like Taylor Swift? Meade, you lucky dog, you"

Not even the half of it, Big Mike. Take Taylor Swift and her hairdo (stolen from you-know-who), add Kate Upton's soft curvilinear femininity, Elena Kagen's brilliant mind, and Kristen Wiig's social satire and comic talent. And you'd still need more. Add the moral compass of someone who is nothing like Hillary Clinton. Now you're getting closer.

Chuck said...

tim in Vermont mentioned Joe DiMaggio.

There is a great Joe DiMaggio-Marilyn Monroe story...

Marilyn Monroe did an appearance at a military base in the 1950's, in front of a huge crowd of servicemen on an airbase. That night, she called Joe on the phone and said, "Oh, Joe there were 50,000 men all cheering; you can't imagine!" Joe replied, "Actually I know exactly what that's like."


mikee said...

Any post about Kate Upton is a click-bait post.

Or a something-bate post.

Where is Laslo?

Franklin said...

I mean, do we really need to discuss female hypergamy? Men value beauty, women value status. It's actually this dynamic that actually causes most of the problems in society.

Ann Althouse said...

"Men value beauty, women value status."

Men are kidding themselves if they think women don't care about masculine beauty. We're just more polite about it. Seriously, shape up. Money isn't enough and anyway, you don't have that much money.

buwaya said...

Hmm.
I think there is a severe gorgeousness imbalance in this marriage.
But I may be prejudiced.

tim in vermont said...

We know women care about masculine beauty, it just isn't that helpful to us to include in our thinking since there is so little we can do about it. We are not going to change it by a standard deviation upwards.

Chuck said...

It may be because I live near Detroit and am not as susceptible to Althouse's apparent sampling errors.

But, uh, Justin Verlander is a very good-looking guy. "Tall dark and handsome" was the phrase from an earlier era.

Almost every picture on the Internet of Verlander is of a guy sweating, playing hard, tugging on a ball cap.

And almost every picture of Kate Upton is a posed, professionally made-up modeling job.

Before they started dating, Verlander (a twenty-something bachelor millionaire) was one if the more eligible bachelors in sports.

robother said...

Female hypergamy? But Verlander's last good year was 2012. Upton's at the top of her game, so is she so out of touch with baseball statistics that she is still giving him credit for the AL MVP award (admittedly rare for any pitcher)?

Per Ann's photo, she's presumably not blinded by his good looks. Once again, we see failure to appreciate sabremetrics creating a potentially bad trade.

tim in vermont said...

Maybe he can pull a Rory MacIlroy, dump her and go on a tear.

Paul said...

Women value male beauty, but not as much as men value female beauty. A man who has game will do better with women than a better looking man who has none. It's not about money. It's about charm, charisma, social status, power. A woman may choose a mate for his money as a beta provider, but that is not the same thing as a woman being powerfully attracted to a dominant alpha man, even one who is not so handsome.

Ann Althouse said...

"beauty, it just isn't that helpful to us to include in our thinking since there is so little we can do about it. We are not going to change it by a standard deviation upwards."

Sure there is. Try to stay healthy, maintain a good weight and muscular fitness, get a good haircut, and make some good decisions about what to wear and how much to shave.

Mosr of the women who are thought of as good looking have put attention and work into it. Not to mention surgery. I don't like the surgery part, but on, keep in good shape. There are many things you can do.

tim in vermont said...

Women have a vestigial estrus, during which they will seek out, or be tempted to anyways, more attractive men not their mates. As guardians of the gene pool, it's their job.

tim in vermont said...

Yes, it's easy to slip down a sigma or two. Men pretend not to notice faked up attractiveness, but for us the real thing is unmistakable, I assume it's the same for the ladies.

Bobby said...

robother,

"Once again, we see failure to appreciate sabremetrics creating a potentially bad trade."

As a fellow sabermetrician: awesome!

cubanbob said...

Ann Althouse said...
"Men value beauty, women value status."

Men are kidding themselves if they think women don't care about masculine beauty. We're just more polite about it. Seriously, shape up. Money isn't enough and anyway, you don't have that much money.

5/3/16, 11:38 AM"

Assumptions not warranted. A 45 year old single woman with minor kids will be more attracted to a man who has a seven figure income than a 65 year old woman (with grown children who are self-supporting) and who has a decent retirement savings and a generous pension plan. However on average you are right, most men don't have those assets.

Sebastian said...

"There are many things you can do." True, but the implied hypothesis was that the "things you can do" don't shift one's relative attractiveness by a standard deviation. If you are interested in making claims that can be refuted by reality, this could be tested. For all I know, some social psychologist has tested it. I'd venture the modified hypothesis that it depends. People who have already done "many things" have little room for improvement. Some people are out of luck even if they do many things. Some overweight slobs can move up the distribution. Research is needed to determine the proportions, controlling for amount and kinds of things done.

buwaya said...

"Some overweight slobs can move up the distribution. '

Yes indeed.
Exercise and lose weight is the #1, as per Ann above.
Learn to dance is another, etc.

Many of the defects are physical manifestations of personality though.
Laziness, depression, addiction to, er, sedentary amusements, gluttony, lack of initiative, lack of imagination all can show up in the body.

fivewheels said...

This would be so much more of a 2016 story if he were engaged to left fielder Justin Upton.

holdfast said...

Upton is a beautiful woman and her day job is being beautiful - and she's at or near the top of her field, as Verlander is in his. It's just that his field is not "male model", though I am sure he cleans up alright.

Unfortunately for Kate, her body is not of the type to age well. The thin, leggy models like McPherson and Crawford tend to age better, though they still require a lot of upkeep. Actually, of necessity, McPherson is a lot thinner now than in her heydey. Upton's assets will begin to sag in a few years, sadly.

BillyBob said...

oldfast said...

Upton is a beautiful woman and her day job is being beautiful - and she's at or near the top of her field, as Verlander is in his. It's just that his field is not "male model", though I am sure he cleans up alright.

Unfortunately for Kate, her body is not of the type to age well. The thin, leggy models like McPherson and Crawford tend to age better, though they still require a lot of upkeep. Actually, of necessity, McPherson is a lot thinner now than in her heydey. Upton's assets will begin to sag in a few years, sadly.


Why is that sad? She grows old with a husband who hopefully loves her for her total self, not just for her looks. If she meets his needs, and he meets hers, looks gonna be secondary, as it should be.

fivewheels said...

The thing is, Kate is from Michigan, and she was established as a Tigers and University of Michigan fan before she started dating Verlander. Which is a big status boost for JV, and one reason I think most Detroit fans are pretty cool with her.

Honestly, they're pretty adorable.

AllenS said...

Women usually think a man looks good when he has a pocket full of Tubmans.

Steve said...

"I can't be accused of looking for something particularly bad. That's exactly what he looks like."

So some angry Wiki editor in a fedora with a neckbeard uses the worst picture of Verlander and we are supposed to just fall inline in a discussion about masculine beauty? You need the BULLSHIT tag on this one.

Try this one: http://www.jeffpearlman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/justin_verlander-579.jpg
Or this: http://m.mlb.com/assets/images/1/5/6/126821156/cuts/Verlander_aqy17sv7_hiolxtuq.jpg

"He's no beauty but hey he's alright." Actually I'd say he is in the top 90% of men.. well actual men. I am sure Upton has had her fill of male models. This whole thing smacks of jealousy from both sides of the sexual spectrum. Did I say both sides?

holdfast said...

Why is that sad? She grows old with a husband who hopefully loves her for her total self, not just for her looks. If she meets his needs, and he meets hers, looks gonna be secondary, as it should be.

For us, her fans! Pay attention.

fivewheels said...

JV's definitely in the top 90 percent (I think you meant 10 percent). For a representative sample of what Verlander looks like normally, you could just look at his Instagram, where you will also often see wholesome hijinks with Kate.

Roughcoat said...

I think there is a severe gorgeousness imbalance in this marriage.

Maybe she's attracted to his 14-inch penis.

Size also matters, you know.

mockturtle said...

I just hope he has a better season than he had last year.

C R Krieger said...

I finally got down to the Kate Upton photo and my only thought is that if all those gowns before I got there had been tax dollars instead, we could finance Bernie Sanders' dreams.

Regards  —  Cliff