June 10, 2015

"We’ll have a rotating first lady."

Said Lindsey Graham, who's running for President in the strange condition of being unmarried. I'm saying strange, because we haven't had an unmarried President since Woodrow Wilson's wife died, while he was President, and he got a new wife a year later. So Wilson was the opposite of a celibate kind of man. For that, we must go back to James Buchanan and Grover Cleveland.

Buchanan, President from 1857 to 1861, is the only President to remain unmarried his whole life, though he did have a close relationship with another man, William Rufus King:
The two men lived together in a Washington boardinghouse for 10 years from 1834 until King's departure for France in 1844. King referred to the relationship as a "communion", and the two attended social functions together.... Andrew Jackson called them "Miss Nancy" and "Aunt Fancy" (the former being a 19th-century euphemism for an effeminate man), while Aaron V. Brown referred to King as Buchanan's "better half"....

In May 1844, Buchanan wrote to Cornelia Roosevelt, "I am now 'solitary and alone', having no companion in the house with me. I have gone a wooing to several gentlemen, but have not succeeded with any one of them. I feel that it is not good for man to be alone, and [I] should not be astonished to find myself married to some old maid who can nurse me when I am sick, provide good dinners for me when I am well, and not expect from me any very ardent or romantic affection."
Cleveland is more recent. President from 1885 to 1889 and 1893 to 1897, he was unmarried when first elected, but, after using his sister in the First Lady role for the first 2 years, he got married to a woman who was only 21. He was 49 and President of the United States. How's that for a power imbalance in marriage? The woman, Frances Folsom, was the daughter of his friend Oscar Folsom:
This marriage was unusual, since Cleveland was the executor of Oscar Folsom's estate and had supervised Frances' upbringing after her father's death; nevertheless, the public took no exception to the match.
Just imagine how the media would react today.



They had 5 children, including "Baby" Ruth...



... who was not the source of the name for the Baby Ruth candy bar, though the Curtiss Candy Company claimed she was when they renamed their Kandy Kake bar in 1921, right when baseball's Babe Ruth was huge. An epic denial.

But let's return to the denial that is celibacy. Is it denial to eschew marriage? Have you ever read the notes Charles Darwin wrote to himself as he pondered the pros and cons of marriage? From the "pro" column:
Constant companion,(& friend in old age) who will feel interested in one,— object to be beloved & played with.— —better than a dog anyhow.— Home, & someone to take care of house— Charms of music & female chit-chat.— These  things good for one’s health.— but terrible loss of time. —
Better than a dog anyhow.... Lindsey could just get a rotating dog....

36 comments:

MayBee said...

The first lady is an idea whose time has come and gone. The White House has such a huge staff now, it doesn't need the wife ordering them around.

Think how much money we'd save without one!

tim in vermont said...

If Graham wins the nomination, I will vote for him, but he is a bit too Chamber of Commerce for me.

Bob Ellison said...

I have a dog like that. Her tail is long enough that she catches it sometimes.

Big Mike said...

Interesting speculation, but Graham is fooling himself if he thinks he has any hope. The voters in the primaries will coalesce around Walker, Perry, or Rubio. If Kasich is serious about running he'd better get off the dime.

paminwi said...

Good golly, no First Lady to flit around the world pretending to do something great? How sad would that be? After this first lady I would have no problem with that scenario. (Though Lunsday is not my guy in any way, shape or form.)

Ann Althouse said...

"Interesting speculation, but Graham is fooling himself if he thinks he has any hope."

You never know.

I remember when Jimmy Carter emerged from the pack.

damikesc said...

Graham has benefitted mightily by the SC Dem Party being horrible and unable to put up competent candidates.

Bay Area Guy said...

I think boredom afflicts these successful politicians/ elected officials.

Graham has had a successful professional career - JAG corps Officer, House, Senate.

But I'm curious as to why this isn't enough. Aside from Governor of SC or maybe Atty General, there isn't any other higher office than the Prez. But so what? That may be his personal ambition, but it certainly isn't our collective ambition as citizens and voters. We have 15 other candidates, embracing every nook and cranny of the political spectrum. What possibly could Graham add to the vast mix?

tim in vermont said...

He was an impeachment manager. I am betting he has some pretty good dirt.

MarkW said...

Odd connections. 'Baby Ruth' died young, but her sister Esther grew up and married a British officer and her daughter was Phillipa Foot -- a well-known philosopher who came up with the ubiquitous 'trolley problem'.

Eric the Fruit Bat said...

"Could that movie have been made if it were three lonely old women instead of three lonely old men?"

That was the question I asked last night after watching Going in Style (1979) on Tuner Classics. George Burns, Art Carney and Lee Strasberg decide to do something so they rob a bank. Some of it was unspeakably hilarious. Most of it was kind of sad.

Somehow it put in my head the notion that men are supposed to make something of themselves in the world while it's okay for an old lady to content herself with the comforts of inert domesticity. The thoughts that followed didn't sit well with me.

Anyway, I guess with old ladies the pissing jokes would have to be a little different.

Perhaps it was the First Lady's most important job, back in the old days, to see to it that the president didn't get himself into trouble by doing some old man thing like robbing a bank or authorizing an invasion.

Robert J. said...

I feel quite certain that Darwin wrote that note while sitting beside Emma at the table of flirtation, and that she responded by swatting him flirtatiously with her fan.

MayBee said...

She'll be a spinner.

damikesc said...

Wouldn't Lindsey serve as First Lady for McCain anyway?

virgil xenophon said...

Rotating First Ladies?......Playmate of the Month!

Roughcoat said...

Fascinating info about Buchanan. Didn't know that about him.

I'd like to see a thread on our wildest president. I think Andrew Jackson wins that competition hands-down.

Most repulsive president? Previously my vote would have gone to Wilson, but now Obama gets it.

Bob Ellison said...

Aren't we dancing around the question here?

Hagar said...

Some people are obsessed about sex; some people aren't.

Chuck said...

Regarding the gay dog-whistle as applied to Lindsey Graham; if it helped him beat Hillary Clinton, I might like it. But it won't. The media loves gay rights and the personal stories of gays only as long as the gays in question are Democrats.

Brando said...

"First Lady" is a title and position that should not exist. The president may have a spouse, like any other political leader, but the notion of that spouse having a title and staff is absurdly Old World.

Jim in St Louis said...

Eric the Fruit Bat-
I watched as well- very underrated film. I don’t know why it gets passed over. I agree about the balance of sad and funny. But there is also a fierce aggression in how Burns’ character expresses rage at getting old and feeble.


HRC claims her 8 years as FLOTUS, as qualifications for being president. Sen Graham says that any rotating person can fill the role of official hostess. So I think this is a subtle dig at her resume.

The side effect of an increasingly imperial presidency is that now you have to have a consort for the prince. I would like to see someone fill the role of chief executive with perhaps a shade more modesty.

Bob Ellison said...

What if Graham were to have his own Lewinsky scandal? Would that legitimize him for leftists and/or rightists on the electorate? What if Graham's Lewinsky were male?

Left Bank of the Charles said...

Pat Robertson has managed to replace God's law with Godwin's.

David said...

Frances had a pet name for Grover Cleveland: "Uncle Jumbo."

Maybe that explains it.

Real American said...

just another reason not to vote for this gasbag.

Real American said...

John McCain can be Graham's first lady.

Original Mike said...

"since Woodrow Wilson's wife died, while he was President, and he got a new wife a year later."

He got a new wife? Pick her up at the wife store, did he?

bbkingfish said...

Anne Althouse says...

"Just imagine how the media would react today."

No kidding.

How do you think they will react to the Walker marriage when the campaign heats up and the national media gets a load of Tonette?

Etienne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
HoodlumDoodlum said...

Given her disapproval of husbands saying they "married up," oughtn't the Professor object to the phrase "my better half?"

Gabriel said...

King County, where Seattle is located, was originally named after Rufus King. A few years ago, without bothering to put it before the voters, the King County government decided King County was named after Martin Luther King, Jr, and made appropriate changes to their logo.

And thus missing out on the PC sweepstakes of being named after the first gay Vice-President, so they can ride the coattails of a civil rights struggle they did not lift a finger to help, all while sweeping their anti-Chinese history under the rug.

MadisonMan said...

but he is a bit too Chamber of Commerce for me

Not sure what that means.

The Business of America is business, after all. I like to have a President who understands and appreciates that.

I hold out hope for Mitch Daniels for two reasons: I don't think (former professional) politicians should be University Presidents. Reason #2 is that I like him. I know, I know, it'll never happen.

Johanna Lapp said...

I went looking for the case of Aaron versus Brown, wondering what court decision would need to discuss private matters so frankly back in ancient times.

I eventually figured out that Aaron Venable Brown was once a governor of Tenessee and Postmaster General. And a gossipy little bitch.

I now know the difference between v. and V. Lawyering is stupid.

George M. Spencer said...

At a state dinner in the 1950s, President Eisenhower was introduced to an elderly lady. He asked her, upon learning that she was from out of town, if she was enjoying her visit to the nation's capital and if she had ever visited the White House before.

To his surprise, she replied, "Yes, I've been here before. In fact, I lived in this house."

She was Cleveland's second wife.

If it happened today it would be like Jeb Bush marrying Taylor Swift.

Etienne said...

St. George said...At a state dinner in the 1950s...She was Cleveland's second wife.

Francis was the one married twice, Grover only once. However, she died in the late 40's.

Charles said...

Graham is an extremely likeable retail politician. If he were to invest a lot of time in Iowa or New Hampshire and actually get in front of a good percentage of the electorate, he could see an uptick in the polls. He's perceived as being too far out of the maintstream of the primary electorate, though, for three main reasons: immigration, willingness to raise taxes, and the annoying habit of being the "go to" guy when the Sunday morning shows are looking for a Republican to bash fellow Republicans. He's viewed as disdainful of his own ideological allies. Not good.

Incidentally, Graham's bachelorhood is a far beyond the "speculative" stage in South Carolina. Other than an occasional wink-and-nod quip, it's just not something anyone really cares about.