November 11, 2013

"My doctor told me that it was fine to fly up until the third trimester, so when I was five months pregnant I decided to take one last big trip... to Mongolia."

"People were alarmed when I told them where I was going, but I was pleased with myself.
I liked the idea of being the kind of woman who’d go to the Gobi Desert pregnant, just as, at twenty-two, I’d liked the idea of being the kind of girl who’d go to India by herself.... I liked sitting in a booth in a dark room full of smoking, gay Mongolians, but my body was feeling strange.... When I woke up the next morning, the pain in my abdomen was insistent....

100 comments:

rhhardin said...

Women like to talk about their problems.

Moose said...

Hey, it's her body. We shouldn't judge.

Saint Croix said...

What a great piece of writing. So sad, so haunting.

FleetUSA said...

Yes, it is her body and she lived to write about it. How lucky.

YoungHegelian said...

People were alarmed when I told them where I was going, but I was pleased with myself.

All an indicator of woe to come, this phrase is the New York Jewess' equivalent of the Southern redneck phrase "Hey y'all, watch this!".

Marshal said...

The marriage was over in three weeks? I cannot imagine not being more supportive. Maybe her parter had serious misgivings which she ridiculed.

Amy said...

What an infuriating piece of writing. I guess she didn't quite make it onto the train moments before the doors slid shut after all.
The utter disregard for anyone's life, anyone's wellbeing (even her own) as compared with this ridiculous adrenaline-junky travel addiction. The inability to even realize or consider that the medical facilities would be inferior. The complete lack of understanding that all cultures aren't equal, that the West offers.... oh why am I bothering.
But it was a disgusting piece of writing. I wonder what the general audience of the New Yorker thinks.

fizzymagic said...

The utter indifference to the life of the baby is quite disturbing. Maybe it's hard to write a first-person account that doesn't sound completely self-centered, but it doesn't seem she tried very hard.

Gabriel Hanna said...

Before we rush to condemn based on a superstition, remember to RTFA. Her doctor told her that the problem was with her placenta and that it was correlated with age, not travel.

Mongolians have babies all the time. They live in Mongolia all the time too.

Gabriel Hanna said...

The utter indifference to the life of the baby is quite disturbing.

Didn't RTFA. She shows pictures of the baby to strangers. It's not the way I would choose to grieve, but it's not indifference.

Xmas said...

I'm not sure in which universe "It's fine to fly until the third trimester" means "Go on and take that working trip by yourself to a distant third-world nation".

I'm not surprised her husband was upset. But this takes the cake:

I don't look at it much anymore, but people I haven’t seen in a while will say, "I'm so sorry about what happened to you." And their compassion pleases me.

I think we've got an up-and-coming Münchausen-by-proxy candidate here.

Gabriel Hanna said...

@Xmas:I'm not sure in which universe "It's fine to fly until the third trimester" means "Go on and take that working trip by yourself to a distant third-world nation".

I'm not sure in what world "rare placental disorder" translates into "she brought it on herself."

YoungHegelian said...

Hey GH, maybe you oughtta learn some critical reading skills yourself!

Her doctor told her that the problem was with her placenta and that it was correlated with age, not travel.

Because of course, her doctor was really up for telling her "Wow, I can't believe you were so fucking stupid that you really went to Ulan Bator! You know, I might have been wrong about that travel thing, you being 38 & all. But now that you've miscarried & are so old you may not get pregnant again, please don't sue me."

Did you see the phrase "People were alarmed"? Maybe some of those alarmed people were late birthing mothers, too, who knew from their own experiences that EVERY 38 year old first pregnancy is essentially a high-risk pregnancy. What I get out of the article is 1) She's lying about her doctor's advice 2) her doctor is as clueless as she is.

Gabriel Hanna said...

@YoungHegelian: I suppose you have an M. D.? I suppose you have the professional standing to accuse a doctor of lying, or a total stranger of lying about what her doctor said?

The answer to those questions is of course no.

There are a lot of superstitions about pregnancy the violation of which will alarm the ignorant. Travel is one of them.

Gabriel Hanna said...

@YH: The Mayo Clinic--perhaps you have heard of them?

"If your health care provider approves air travel and you have flexibility in your travel plans, the best time to fly might be in the middle of your pregnancy — about weeks 14 to 28. This is when you're likely to feel your best, and the risks of miscarriage and premature labor are the lowest."

YoungHegelian said...

@GH

Okay, GH, here's the bet:

You call up two obstetricians in your hometown, and you tell them the situation: a 38 year old woman, first pregnancy, 5 months pregnant, wants to fly from NYC to Ulan Bator and visit for 10 days for the fun of it.

If one of them says it's an okay thing to do, have them contact me at the e-mail at my profile & I'll give $100 in your name to the charity of your choice.

Do you live in a world where doctors routinely don't fuck up & patients don't routinely lie? Really?

Gabriel Hanna said...

@YH:Do you live in a world where doctors routinely don't fuck up & patients don't routinely lie? Really?

Yes, as a matter of fact I do, and offers of bets from internet tough guys without medical degrees don't count as evidence in that world.

If your doctor routinely fucks up maybe you should go to another one.

Freeman Hunt said...

Being cramped in a plane for that long while pregnant sounds torturous. Safe, perhaps, but torturous.

I also thought it was odd that the marriage split after a mere three weeks. I thought it so odd that I looked up who she was married to. As it turns out, she wrote an article about her wedding. She was married to another woman. I can't imagine that the other woman would leave so swiftly after such a traumatic event, so maybe she left. Who knows.

Gabriel Hanna said...

@YH: A real OBGYN, not one on the internet, won't offer an opinion without access to all the same information which the original one had. HIPAA being what it is, not much chance of that. I've known 25 year-olds ordered to bed rest.

You offer superstitions and bets, but no actual evidence. The thing speaks for itself.

Gabriel Hanna said...

@Freeman: My wife flew to China while 5 months pregnant. It was dull, but not tortuous. She got up and walked around every few hours like she was supposed to.

Then she stayed for a month and came back. Our boy is 18 months old now and eating us out of house and home, but you couldn't call him unhealthy.

Of course, that's an anecdote.

YoungHegelian said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Michael said...

I figured her spouse was of the same sex. Maybe the quick exit was the result of an argument over the humanity of the dead son. An inconvenient belief for many.

I found the story very moving. The travel was not the cause of her miscarriage.

Michael said...

I figured her spouse was of the same sex. Maybe the quick exit was the result of an argument over the humanity of the dead son. An inconvenient belief for many.

I found the story very moving. The travel was not the cause of her miscarriage.

Gabriel Hanna said...

@Michael: Miscarriage was our nightmare. My mother had terrible dangerous pregnancies and that's what I was afraid would happen with my wife. But hers went without a hitch and her OBGYN said have five if you want.

Miscarriage of a five-month baby is a terrible thing and I am very, very slow to judge those who have suffered it.

Lucien said...

Don't know the medical ins & outs, but it is plausible that had the author been at home, rather than on an adventure, the discomfort would have prompted her to call a physician or go to an urgent care facility, which might have diagnosed the placental abruption and saved the child. Maybe that could have been done in U.B., too, if one were familiar enough with the place to know where to go. But all that is speculation.

Lucien said...

Don't know the medical ins & outs, but it is plausible that had the author been at home, rather than on an adventure, the discomfort would have prompted her to call a physician or go to an urgent care facility, which might have diagnosed the placental abruption and saved the child. Maybe that could have been done in U.B., too, if one were familiar enough with the place to know where to go. But all that is speculation.

David said...

Wow. I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I.

Me me me me me me me.

What a despicable person.

Michael K said...

Another Darwin awardee.

Michael K said...

"The marriage was over in three weeks? I cannot imagine not being more supportive"

Sounds like "Baby Boom" but that kid survived. The only Diane Keeton movie I like.

Michael said...

Gabriel H. I believe you misunderstood my post. I believe miscarriage a tragedy and the child a human being. A child of God. The very point of the article.

Gabriel Hanna said...

@Michael: Didn't think you thought otherwise. "Slow to judge" was not directed at you--it's simply true of me.

Michael K said...

" She was married to another woman."

Well, it is the New Yorker.

Darwin Award squared.

Oh, Gabriel, I DO have an MD and I wouldn't recommend that for anyone. My wife and I went to London when she was four months along but not to Ulaan Baator. The whole story is weird, but it is New York.

Gabriel Hanna said...

@Michael K: And you have access to the patient's medical history and you followed the pregnancy from its beginning, right? No.

Gabriel Hanna said...

People who live in Ulan Bator do manage to have babies, you know.

I grew up an hour's drive from a hospital. In that place, an American woman wouldn't have got to a hospital in time--assuming anyone could do anything anyway. Would the level of condemnation I'm hearing here be the same if she had gone backpacking in a national park and lost her baby?

Maybe it would at that. Lot of superstitious people think pregnant women ought not to do anything. But statistically they are in most danger from their own bathrooms and automobiles.

Freeman Hunt said...

I think her doctor should have asked where she wanted to fly. Mine did. According to Lonely Planet, the hospitals in U.B. are "abyssmal." Based on that alone, I can't imagine a doctor advising any pregnantt patient to go there since preterm labor is always a possibility.

Gabriel Hanna said...

@Freeman: The hospital in my hometown would have to be "abysmal" too since it doesn't exist. Same objection applies to, say Mt Rainier National Park, even if you go car camping.

Freeman Hunt said...

I can't imagine anyone advising a pregnant woman to go backpacking. Maybe they do. I don't know.

Even if you're far from a hospital in the U.S., they can airlift you to one. You would not be recovering in an "abysmal" place.

David said...

Levy's background?

Larchmont, then Wesleyan. (My alma mater, I'm so proud.) First job was at Planned Parenthood. (Says cutely she was fired for being a bad typist.)

Then New York Magazine and (ta-da!) staff writer at the New Yorker.

Very pretty woman. High SAT's. An eye for the hot topic. Adequate writer.

Also a cosseted fool who, even after her fatal, egotistical stupidities, has no idea what a precious bubble her life has been spent in.

Gabriel Hanna said...

@Freeman: And do you know how long an airlift takes? A helicopter takes something like a half-hour to just get started! I know that from kayaking in Alaska--they said if you even THINK there's going to be a problem you call right away because the Coast Guard helicopter can't get up in under 45 minutes.

And that was a helicopter literally a mile away.

Michael said...

God but there are a lot of travel pussies and urbanites here used to gleaming hospitals around every corner. A friend went in one recently for a very routine procedure, picked up an infection and didnt come out. He would have done better to fly to Mongolia for the work.

The story is further enhanced by the author's stint at Planned Parenthood. What goes around often comes around.

Gabriel Hanna said...

@Michael: I was once the first person at the scene of a one-car roll-over accident. I stopped my car, went to the rolled-over van. A full-term pregnant woman handed me her three-year old out the driver's window and then she climbed out herself. Nobody was hurt there--pretty freaked out--but a lot of bad accidents happened that weekend and some people died.

Telling the story on Monday, a few people did not believe me. "Why didn't she go into labor if she was in an accident?" I was asked.

Because it's not TV, that's why! And the ambulance took over an hour to get there because the road was icy and it was in the middle of nowhere and already lots of accidents--and she was 2 miles from home!

But no, let's freak out about flying--to the THIRD WORLD!!!eleventy!!

SteveR said...

I'm glad she got to experience the bar full of smoking gay Mongolese, because that surely was a highlight that will make the holiday parties.

Kelly said...

She was only five months along. The majority of woman wouldn't have had a problem, this woman was just very unlucky. Her poor baby was briefly alive, I had to skip most of that.

Paco Wové said...

"this woman was just very unlucky."

On the other hand, it seems like she was fortunate to survive herself. It sounds as though she could easily have had a fatal hemorrhage.

Michael K said...


" @Michael K: And you have access to the patient's medical history and you followed the pregnancy from its beginning, right? No."

Oh come on. You know as well as I do that she took a huge chance and it did not turn out well. You may have your reasons for defending her but they are NOT medical.

It does make me wonder a bit about you.

Michael K said...

"@Michael: I was once the first person at the scene of a one-car roll-over accident. I stopped my car, went to the rolled-over van. A full-term pregnant woman handed me her three-year old out the driver's window and then she climbed out herself. Nobody was hurt there--pretty freaked out--but a lot of bad accidents happened that weekend and some people died."

I operated on a 9 months pregnant woman whose car went off the 405 in Irvine. I lifted her dead baby out of her abdomen and handed it to an OB who came along in hopes that something could be saved. She died on the table. In a vicious turn of fate, the anesthetist was her brother and did not recognize her. She was also an anesthesiologist.

Call me when you have a few similar experiences.

Gabriel Hanna said...

@Michael K: You know as well as I do that she took a huge chance

Except that other doctors more informed about this person than you did not agree it was a huge chance. You don't say you are an OBGYN either, I notice.

Statistically it was not a "huge chance". You can read CDC statistics as well as I do--pregnant women are in far more danger from their cars and their bathrooms than from flying on a plane, even a plane that lands in Mongolia. You know as well as I do that a pregnant woman who had what this one did would not have done any better had she been camping out of her car at a national park, or lived way out in the country and stayed home.

Gabriel Hanna said...

@Michael K:Call me when you have a few similar experiences.

None of which are relevant to THIS experience--which you did not have EITHER--and you have no idea what experiences I have had or not had.

A woman miscarried who had a problem that was not discovered in time. She could have miscarried on the way to the airport and had the same outcome. Nothing you say affects this.

If you interpret your professional ethics and professional courtesy in such a way to second-guess another doctor's patient--one you have no knowledge of whatever--I suppose you know best.

And I suppose you won't resent it if another doctor who wasn't there criticizes your handling of what happened on I-405.

Gabriel Hanna said...

Mind you, Michael K, I am taking you at face value when you say you are a doctor and had the experiences you describe--no one here has any way to know that.

And you'd resent being told you were a liar, or that you did your work as doctor wrong, based on what is presented here, would you not?

So perhaps extend to others in your profession the same courtesy you expect--not to mention the poor woman who lost her baby.

Paco Wové said...

You seem oddly wound up about this, GH.

John Lynch said...

I know a five year old who was born at 26 weeks. He was born in a big city with a really, really good hospital. He's fine now.

Can't say if it would have mattered, but it's hard to argue that chances wouldn't have been better somewhere other than Mongolia. If the placenta had lasted another week or two... who knows?

The author is a tortured person. You don't talk about this sort of thing in public if you don't want to punish yourself. She knows it's her own fault and admits as much. Even if it isn't, it's going to feel like it is. It's not self-absorbtion that's coming out of this piece. It's more a confession.

Archie said...

Two thoughts. First, this person could have been some child's actual "mother". Second, some poor bastard may marry this person some day.

Nevertheless Mr. Obama is a lying sack. A truth to hang on to in an uncertain world.

CityofMisfitToys said...

I'm going to guess Miss Levy's marriage shattered because her partner realized that the sole focus in Miss Levy's world was Miss Levy.

Michael K said...

"Mind you, Michael K, I am taking you at face value when you say you are a doctor and had the experiences you describe--no one here has any way to know that."

You are determined to validate this woman's decision. Feel free. I'm done. I don't know your motivation but I have never hidden my identity. You seem to choose the ad hominem approach rather than data on the condition.

Good bye.

khesanh0802 said...

I find the woman's attitude disturbing, there is a smugness under the surface, a "look at me, aren't I wonderful" aura to it all. Maybe it's her prolonged feelings of guilt. Maybe it's just typical New Yorker stuff.

She was 38 years old, a time when a first pregnancy can be difficult and dangerous. Did she ask herself "what will I do if something goes wrong?", clearly not. One thing you learn about planning any attack is to be sure you have a safe line of retreat. This is not the same situation, but the same principle applies.

Deirdre Mundy said...

Oh, gosh, that poor woman. It wasn't the flying though...I know other people who've lost children that late--it's heartbreaking, but it happens.

If she'd been home, and if she'd gotten to a hospital, maybe they would have saved him, but at 19 weeks the solution is usually 'comfort care.'

That poor, poor woman.

Inga said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Inga said...

"Her fault, her fault, her fault, we chant in unison." Chapter 13, "The Handmaid's Tale".


Freeman Hunt said...

GH, I'm not talking about the baby. I'm talking about the woman recovering who was at risk for a hemorrhage or infection. Obviously her recovery would have been safer not in an "abysmal" hospital in Mongolia. Which is why the doctor should have asked her where she wanted to fly. You don't sent a 38 year old pregnant woman to some remote place with poor hospitals because routine pregnancy-related emergencies can happen, especially at that age. In fact, I imagine that even her doctor would agree and likely had no idea that Mongolia was her destination. That's why I think the doctor should have asked.

Inga said...

Women have babies in abysmal conditions for other reasons. What of missionary wives? Are they selfish for traveling to third world countries and getting pregnant there or traveling there pregnant to be with their husbands? What I see here is judgment placed on a woman who is unlikeable by a conservative readership here because of her lifestyle, more so than her questionable judgment.

MPH said...

My wife is full term -- due this week. I know she'll like this article, but I'll bookmark it and send it to her in a few months.

cubanbob said...

Yes Inga. It's her fault because she was stupid. There was no particular urgent and good reason to go to the end of the earth while in a risky pregnancy. She should have stayed home where she had access to her doctor and access to immediate first world emergency treatment. If you are going to be a parent the time to start taking parenthood seriously starts at pregnancy. She could have waited a few years for her Mongolian experience. It's not like the place will change that much in two or three years.

LYNNDH said...

This comment is late in the day, so may not be read. I have not read the article. My comment is about Mongolia. A neighbor and I visited there last yr with a tour company. The road in Ulan Battor were THE WORST, not to mentioned almost non existent in in the courntryside. We bounced around so much, we hurt. That could cause major problems for a woman that was pregnant.

Xmas said...

Gabriel,

Look, if this had been a heart-warming story of the author sh*tting her pants and thanking god the pain wasn't an on-coming miscarriage, I'd still ask the question, "WTF are you in effing Mongolia for a vanity trip when you're 38 years old and 5 months pregnant?"

I'm not sure how the conversation went with her doctor, but I suspect "It's safe to fly..." was not preceded with her saying "I want to go to Mongolia."

Deirdre Mundy said...

Hey, she talked about the pain with her Doctor-- who said it was probably round ligament pain. She had no reason to suspect a complicated pregnancy.

Though the same-sex relationship makes me wonder-- the kid must have been hers and a sperm donor's. Did the partner flip out because she couldn't understand why this woman was grieving the baby?

It seems like, in this situation, a husband would have been more supportive and would have understood her grief better, and shared in it.

And the 'being pleased that people remember and grieve for your dead child' is not a self-centered thing. It's a dead baby thing. Because other people forget, and act like the baby never existed because he didn't live long enough to matter to them. So it's nice when people remember.

Of course, the big issue is that large swaths of our population think that babies are just 'clumps of tissue' until they reach the age of reason or some other arbitrary mark.

Jeff Boulier said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jeff Boulier said...

Michael K, for those unaware, is the author of A Brief History of Disease, Science and Medicine, which is quite a good read.

RAH said...

The woman was lucky to survive. She yank the cord out of her and that she had massive bleeding. What was not told is whether she retained the body of her child to be buried or have a funeral or were the remains thrown out by the clinic.

RAH said...

The woman was lucky to survive. She yank the cord out of her and that she had massive bleeding. What was not told is whether she retained the body of her child to be buried or have a funeral or were the remains thrown out by the clinic.

MayBee said...

I was very conservative with my health and body when I was pregnant. Sure, there were a lot of things I could have done, but I could spare 9 months of optional behavior to increase my chances for the best possible outcome for my child.

MayBee said...

There's just a lot to be said about asking yourself why you are doing something before you do it.

I think some women feel , I don't know...validated?....by doing all they can to prove that they are not one of those old fashioned women who let pregnancy affect their lives. Like there's s prize for being the most gutsy pregnant woman ever.

Rusty said...

Self indulgent twat.

sdharms said...

She lost sight of the fact that HER choices caused someone else to lose his life. It was unclear to me til the end that the baby did not survive. She didn't even mention it -- just concentrated on her own issues. She was someone elses mother? God forbid that mothers are so uncaring. Note that all the Tweets from NYers are totally supportive of her. Syncophants all.

JoyD said...

She would have been an awful mother. Her life is all about her, alone, and she can hardly escape that, given the way her childhood unfolded. And nothing so wrong with that, either...she sounds like an interesting and capable adventurer. But a Mom to rely on for the long run, no. Or not even for the short run, as it turned out. Abysmal decision making, because she didn't really think of the baby as someone other than an interesting component of Herself.
And no, Lou Reed, the child is not a vessel to be filled with your dreams! Though I'm sure you meant well. RIP

sdharms said...

She lost sight of the fact that HER choices caused someone else to lose his life. It was unclear to me til the end that the baby did not survive. She didn't even mention it -- just concentrated on her own issues. She was someone elses mother? God forbid that mothers are so uncaring. Note that all the Tweets from NYers are totally supportive of her. Syncophants all.

Gabriel Hanna said...

Michael K so vividly described for us the risks a pregnant woman runs driving on the I-405.

Driving is by far the most dangerous thing a pregnant woman can do. In our culture we recognize driving as a risk, but it is a familiar risk and most of us consider it to be a necessary one, so we do not condemn pregnant women for driving.

Flying to Ulan Bator is an unfamiliar risk, and none of us think it was necessary. But the fact is that familiarity and necessity and not reliable predictors of safety.

And that is why I am arguing about this--it's one more time science and superstition are at odds.

Remember when lefties blamed Sarah Palin for Trig's Down Syndrome, and they specifically mentioned flying?

No? Right down the memory hole?

Matthew Sablan said...

Person takes risk, gets unlucky. Sad, but that's why they are called risks.

Matthew Sablan said...

"Driving is by far the most dangerous thing a pregnant woman can do."

-- That's playing with statistics. There are infinitely more dangerous things a pregnant woman could do. Driving is just a relatively low risk activity that is done by enough people often enough that we're all familiar with when it goes wrong. It's a logical flaw, but a common enough one that people can be forgiven for falling into it.

C Stanley said...

Remember when lefties blamed Sarah Palin for Trig's Down Syndrome, and they specifically mentioned flying?

I thought of this when I read Inga's comment. Clearly the impulse to find blame in the actions of people on the other side goes in both directions. The most egregious bit about the treatment of Palin's pregnancy by the left, of course was the abdication of their vaunted principle of privacy

Regarding the article itself, I have no more ability than anyone else to know if the child would have survived if she hadn't travelled. It does seem like an uneeded risk and perhaps she would have sought help more quickly and put on bedrest, which can sometimes preserve a pregnancy until the baby is viable. Additionally the risk to her own life was greatly increased in these circumstances (as it would also be for women hiking in backcountry or any other remote setting.)

As it is though, the baby was a martyr in my opinion, in that his life apparently impressed upon his mother the value of fetal human life. That she is using this experience as an occasion to share that revelation with others is a silver lining in a tragic event..

joeshmo99 said...

@Young Hegelian - Thank goodness you were able to point out the important fact that she's Jewish, so that we all can form appropriate opinions about the writer/article.

Paco Wové said...

"Note that all the Tweets from NYers are totally supportive of her."

Not much point in beating her up now, is there? I'm sure she's doing a good job of that all by herself.

Tarrou said...

"Two thoughts. First, this person could have been some child's actual "mother". Second, some poor bastard may marry this person some day.

Nevertheless Mr. Obama is a lying sack. A truth to hang on to in an uncertain world."

Yes, I thought it was a happy outcome, personally.

And while I generally am disturbed by the right-wing version of Bush Derangement Syndrome, you seem to have elevated it to Cato-the-Elder-like proportions. It's kind of cute!

Rusty said...

C Stanley

I didn't get that from the article.
What I got was Munchausen by proxy.

LarsPorsena said...

Natural selection has a way of weeding these kind of people out of the gene pool.

Peter said...

Age 38, primigravida, same-sex "spouse": not typical, but perhaps a clue as to why Western birth rates are plummeting below replacement levels just about everywhere?

I don't doubt that women who belonged to nomadic tribes used to travel in their third trimester all the time- after all, it was travel or die. And the travel would have been far harder than a long flight in an airliner.

Then again, they also tolerated (from necessity) high rates of miscarriage and a horrific rate of death in childbirth.

Somehow there seems a certain arrogance in assuming that one can just bend the natural world to suit oneself, that everything will just work out so really there's no need even for contingency planning just in case it doesn't.

CatherineM said...

We get it Gabriel. You are taking the negative reaction to this article personally because your wife went to China for a month while pregnant and you now have a healthy baby, so don't judge. We get it.

Deirdre Mundy said...

Placental abruption is actually pretty unpredictable. I know young, healthy women who've had them...

If she was only 19 weeks along, a hospital in the US wouldn't have put the baby in the NICU-- I think there's a 20-22 week floor on the babies they're willing to try to save (and it varies by hospital)

OTOH, if you don't get to the hospital quickly, both mom and baby die, since there's massive hemmoraging involved. But this is not a 'Bed Rest" situation. This is "An internal organ designed to handle massive amounts of blood has come unstuck and you are SOL" situation.

Women die of this in the US too, if they're not together enough to call 911. Babies die of this. It's no one's fault.

As for driving, actually, pregnant women are more likely to get into accidents, so, it's much more dangerous than flying. Flying during pregnancy is only a problem if you have clotting issues...

The reason they tell you not to fly near the end is that there's no telling when a baby will be born, and the airlines get really cranky when they have to land to deliver one. And you may end up in a situation where there's no one to deliver.

At the end they usually tell you not to travel more than x miles from your doctor too! Or they add a caveat like "or you'll end up having the baby in a random hospital somewhere."

Urban dwellers probably don't get these warnings as much, but I live an hour from my hospital, and the rule is pretty much "If you must go somewhere for the day, go TOWARDS the hospital!"


Deirdre Mundy said...

And, FWIW, it's rare that I agree with Inga on anything, but trashing this woman is ridiculous.

And of course she wrote an article about it! She's a writer and she's grieving!

I suspect she's also more messed up over this than your typical grieving mom, since she's a PP type and has argued for killing babies the same age as her small, perfect, obviously alive son.

Kirk Parker said...

Inga,

"What of missionary wives?"

Well, what of them? What actual knowledge do you have?

C Stanley said...

Dierdre- I stand corrected- i had this condition confused with placenta previa, which can be detected and monitored, and for which bedrest is often prescribed.

C Stanley said...

@ Rusty- perhaps, on the Munchausen...there's really not enough information to know, and the fatality was due to natural causes and not something she contrived. Also, the mindset of seeking attention through the suffering of one's children (though pathological of course) with regard to a fetus at least acknowledges the humanity of the fetus which is a step in the right direction.

MadisonMan said...

Some decisions do cause later regret. You are always starting down a pathway, eliminating other pathways just because of the route you take.

You can't have it all. Just because you can do something is not a reason to do it, even if someone else tells you It's okay. And what an interesting personality this woman has! She's pleased with herself that she's doing something that others find alarming.

Marriage splits up after just 3 weeks? Wow.

a psychiatrist who learned from veterans said...

The Swedes did a study some years ago to see if giving a zinc supplement starting I think in the first half of pregnancy to see if it would affect the incidence of abruption or pre-eclampsia. It did lower the incidence of abruption. I looked into it because I had looked at placental metals in pre-eclampsia and found, relative to normals, elevated copper and lower zinc, a signal of zinc deficiency.

paul a'barge said...

Sometimes, when I think about it, I still feel a dark hurt from some primal part of myself, and if I’m alone in my apartment when this happens I will hear myself making sounds that I never made before I went to Mongolia. I realize that I have turned back into a wounded witch, wailing in the forest, undone.

Most of the time it seems sort of O.K., though, natural. Nature. Mother Nature. She is free to do whatever she chooses.


May our L-rd and Savior Jesus have mercy on her soul.

Inga said...

Maybe the Lord and Savior Jesus doesn't have a role in her life, she being Jewish. Oh, I forgot Jews are doomed unless they accept Jesus as their personal savior and messiah.

Every single day, voices from "A Christian Nation" become louder and louder here.

Trashhauler said...

Well, she won't do that again.

MayBee said...

In general, I don't think we Oman are being wee served by this kind of push to pretend outer bodies have no limits when it comes to pregnancy.

Whether it is spending too many years putting off pregnancy, too many years on hormone birth control, or the mind over matter concept of actual pregnancy this woman felt (she liked being the sort of woman who would do something kind of edgy when pregnant).

Sometimes it is the small things. I have so many friends who believe they will have easy labor because they are working out like crazy or doing yoga head stands.

Saint Croix said...

I might be wrong but I see the article as a person waking up to the humanity of the unborn. She didn't understand what a miscarriage was before. She didn't get it. Now she does.

Kirk Parker said...

Inga,

Still waiting for your essay on missionary mothers...

Marshal said...

Inga said...
Every single day, voices from "A Christian Nation" become louder and louder here.


Look out, Inga's hearing voices in her head.