June 2, 2013

"Tiny mites crawling unnoticed over Our Skin. Small nibbles, less then the slightest pinprick..."

"... Baby Spiders while you Sleep. Bowels full of half-digested Cheerios. Microscopic Creatures swarming In the Bathroom, Always, and You With your Pants Down. Sweat pressed into the Bed Sheets in which you will Cover Yourself Again. Drool on the Pillow. Cat Drool on the Pillow. Wash your Hands with the Same Bar of Soap That Someone has Used to Clean Horrible Things from Their Hands. Toothbrush unprotected in the same Room with the Toilet. The Plunger in the Corner, with Memories of What Has Been Plunged. Dry off from the Shower with the Towel from the Day Before, tiny flakes of Skin now Damp and Reapplied. Washcloth. Public restaurant with Sneezed Microbes Hanging in the Air, Settling on your Dinner Plate. Don't Even Think about the Horrors hiding in the Food on That Plate. A Solitary Hair from the Cook's Beard, the Second-Hand Steroids in the Beef. Not Every Employee Washes their Hands. The Guy in the Kitchen washing the Silverware in a Sink of oily brackish water, perhaps with the Faint Residue of the Drain Cleaner used to clear the Reoccurring Clogs. Band-Aid on the Finger loosening in Same Water. Table considered clean by a Quick Wipe with a Dish-Towel Wet From the Tables Wiped Before. Air Ducts lined with Dust and Daddy-Long Legs. More baby Spiders."

A comments contribution — from betamax3000 — in yesterday's "Healthing" post (which was about the delusional spraying of disinfectant all over the house).

El Pollo Raylan offers the Rod Serling reading here.

76 comments:

Inga said...

Don't bother mentioning.... It's an Inga Zone.

betamax3000 said...

OCD Robot says:

Germs know No Cruel Neutrality.

ricpic said...

Ain't it miraculous that nature has provided us with the antibodies to mostly successfully fight off the daily assault? Well, I think it is.

Phil 3:14 said...

A simpler time.

Sam L. said...

We're all gonna DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEIEEEE!

edutcher said...

You should have seen Serling's PSA for Smokey the Bear.

cubanbob said...

I wonder what drugs Betamax3000 uses to expand his stream of thought consciousness. On second thought, at my age I think I'd rather not know. Reading his/her stream of conscious comments is trippy enough for me.

edutcher said...

Or Bill Cosby's "Little Tiny Hairs".

AprilApple said...

Bacteria rule.

Saint Croix said...

I had to stop listening cause I hurt myself.

betamax3000 said...

Re: "Bacteria rule."

OCD Robot says:

Exactly.

We Serve Their Needs; we are Only Vessels for Their Transportation, Lodging for Their Recreation. And Procreation. Always Procreation.

This also includes Baby Spiders.

Carnifex said...

I was watching a documentary about spiders a few years ago. They stated that you are never more than 4' from a spider your entire life. I can believe that.

And They got too many eyes!!!111!!!! That really freaks me the shit out!!!

Carnifex said...

I was watching a documentary about spiders a few years ago. They stated that you are never more than 4' from a spider your entire life. I can believe that.

And They got too many eyes!!!111!!!! That really freaks me the shit out!!!

lemondog said...

"Tiny mites crawling unnoticed over Our Skin. Small nibbles, less then the slightest pinprick..."

Metaphor for big government? Although the mites are taking bigger bites and are becoming increasingly noticed.

betamax3000 said...

Re: "I wonder what drugs Betamax3000 uses to expand his stream of thought consciousness."

Traditional.

Coffee, or Vodka and Candy Cigarettes. Often related to the Time of Day. Mostly.

betamax3000 said...

Re: "I was watching a documentary about spiders a few years ago. They stated that you are never more than 4' from a spider your entire life."

OCD Robot says:

And Often So Much Closer.

cubanbob said...

Re: "I wonder what drugs Betamax3000 uses to expand his stream of thought consciousness."

Traditional.

Coffee, or Vodka and Candy Cigarettes. Often related to the Time of Day. Mostly."

I'm impressed! I also stick to the tradional drugs of choice. Somehow they don't seem to have the same effect on me. Maybe I should drastically up my daily dosage. Maybe if I ramp up my dosage tenfold I'll be one third as creative as you. Since I have to go out shopping with the better half I will buy a litter bottle of Russian Standard, a case of Monster and a couple of pounds of high end candy cigarettes. Worth a shot.

betamax3000 said...

OCD Robot Wonders about Others' Rational Fears. Like Being on a Plane Full of Snakes, For Example.

cubanbob said...

OCD Robot should avoid airplanes. They are hermetically sealed aluminum tubes filled with dead skin cells, mites, flatulence, halitosis , dangerous germs and viruses and crewed by potentially very crazy people. And if that isn't scary enough they are also filled with tons of potentially liquid high-explosives. Avoid them like the plague.

betamax3000 said...

Re: "I'm impressed! I also stick to the tradional drugs of choice. Somehow they don't seem to have the same effect on me."

I Probably Should also Mention the Trilafon.

betamax3000 said...

@ El Pollo Raylan: 76 Listens! A Testament to Your Fine Work!

SteveR said...

When I taught 8th grade science, I could always illicit some amount of disgust by telling them they were breathing air that the other 600 students had already exhaled.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

Baby spiders.....for your nightmares.

betamax3000 said...

Re: "Baby spiders.....for your nightmares" link.

OCD Robot says:

"Wolf Spider Babies Eat Mother": if They Can Do That to Their Own Mother Imagine What They Feel Entitled to Do to You. Baby Spiders, Indeed.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

"Wolf Spider Babies Eat Mother": if They Can Do That to Their Own Mother Imagine What They Feel Entitled to Do to You. Baby Spiders, Indeed.

They don't swim very well :-) Scoop 'em up and flush 'em down the toilet. Glass bowl and a piece of thin cardboard. Don't stomp on them or you will have itty bitty Wolf Spiders everywhere.

betamax3000 said...

Re: They don't swim very well :-) Scoop 'em up and flush 'em down the toilet."

OCD Robot says: Spiders in The Toilet. Another Thing to Add to the List.

bagoh20 said...

I was given extensive instructions on how to best insure my survival after my liver transplant. The main threat and concern is infection.

I was instructed to avoid contact with dirt, plants, animals, people, etc. No gardening, cleaning the bathroom or the garage. Dogs were OK, but minimize contact and sanitize afterward. Most especially avoid contact with birds or where they have been.

I love birds. I have numerous nesting boxes around my patio that are constantly full of winged families fornicating and having wild parties, so this kinda sucked. The doctors told a story of a married man who got a transplant, and who's wife had a parrot. They told them the parrot had to go. The wife refused. The guy caught an avian infection and died after going home. I don't know if that was premeditated or not, but the story sent home the message.

So, I had all my bird stuff taken down and cleaned up, and I avoided gardening and playing in my pond for a while.

Of course drinking alcohol was history, so what does a guy do for fun who can barely move. Hey Doc, how about a prescription for some medical pot? Nope, the doctor says it's not the pot itself that's dangerous, but that there are might be microbes in the plant matter that can be inhaled in the act of smoking it. OK, so don't touch anything and avoid anything that might make you happy. Sex? Are you kidding? I got metal staples going across my entire torso, with tubes coming out and bags full of bloody bile hanging off of me. Sure, it's sexy, but I'm very weak, so "no" means no.

I did find a path of happiness to walk along while in that condition. Vicodan and TV like Scrubs, 70's reruns, and Geico commercials got me through, and I was back to work a month after the surgery.

Today, although I'm still on immunosuppressants, I don't avoid anything. The birds are back, I do plenty of gardening and digging around in my pond. I'm happily back to my pig-like ways. I do use my condition as an excuse to avoid having to deal with slobbering, sticky, germ covered kids whenever they threaten to invade my space.

LordSomber said...

Dial tones to mixolydian symphonies, sparkly glitter to galaxies; what the muse speaks is nil unless you can paint the appropriate picture. (The same goes for Pesto Burps and MIDI Grace Notes.)

bagoh20 said...

Hey that reminds me, I need to update my Midi Grace Notes. In my truck the system only shows the artist and name of the song. I wish they would show the date of release for songs. That's what I always want to know, so I can imagine what memories I should pull up while I'm listening.

bagoh20 said...

While we are on the subject of grossity and contact with it, I have a suggestion for dog owners. Feed your dog just raw meat and bones from the grocery store or from hunters or butchers, if you have that luxury. They will poop about 1/3 the volume, and they poop out little turds the consistency of cookies, which then turn to dry white powdery rocks in under an hour. They have almost no odor, and if necessary, you can even pick them up with your fingers and your hand won't smell any worse than it did before. You have to feed pure meat and bones. If you add in even a little dog food, you get bigger, wetter, stinkier product from your poop machine. It's because of the grain in dog food. Dogs don't digest it. It goes right through your dog and just comes out wet slurry. Ain't nobody got time for dat.

Inga said...

Yup, and then you can lick your fingers afterwards.

bagoh20 said...

And thanks betamax for the reminder. I just added candy cigarettes to my Amazon order. In fact, everything on the order looks like it was placed by a 10 year old. I'm regressing, and Amazon is helping me.

betamax3000 said...

Re: "Yup, and then you can lick your fingers afterwards."

OCD Robot says:

Do Not Toy With the Germ Apocalypse.

Saint Croix said...

My dog used to eat spiders for breakfast.

Boy dog: "I'll handle security. You eat the vermin."

Girl dog: "Deal!"

She loved spiders, cockroaches, any itty-bitty protein? She was on that.

Saint Croix said...

Do Not Toy With the Germ Apocalypse.

Lick on the face is a cure for everything.

I read somewhere that a dog's tongue is insanely clean. I hope that's right, cause that tongue has been everywhere.

betamax3000 said...

Re: "a dog's tongue is insanely clean."

OCD Robot says:

There is No Such Thing as Clean, Much Less Insanely Clean. Every Point of Contact is an Invitation to Infestation.

bagoh20 said...

"I read somewhere that a dog's tongue is insanely clean"

I've read that their entire digestive system including their saliva is highly antibacterial to allow them to eat carrion without getting ill. They have compounds in their saliva that kill germs, and their stomachs are very acidic to kill the rest in there.

It seems true since I have seen them eat bones they dug up covered with maggots that stink to high heaven with no ill effect. They consume rotten stinky stuff every chance they get. What we have evolved to avoid, they have evolved to take advantage of.

Inga said...

Let them lick your sores.

betamax3000 said...

Re: "Let them lick your sores."

OCD Robot says:

You are The Anti-OCD Robot! Red Alert!

cubanbob said...

betamax3000 said...
Re: "I'm impressed! I also stick to the tradional drugs of choice. Somehow they don't seem to have the same effect on me."

I Probably Should also Mention the Trilafon.
6/2/13, 11:18 AM

Okey dokey.......(as I quietly back away).

Bender said...

Some things are best not to think about . . . like the fact that for much of the day we are walking around with a couple of pounds of shit in our bellies. It doesn't just magically appear when we go to the bathroom. If you're digusted with it sitting in the toilet, just don't think about the fact that we carry around that nasty within our bodies. Compared to that, a few microscopic bugs is nothing to freak out about.

Saint Croix said...

I heard that Scarlett Johansson spent two hours in the bedroom with OCD robot, but they kept it clean.

whoresoftheinternet said...

Aw, Easy Annie A., the abortion lover, didn't promote one my truth-filed quotes, instead, working for Her One True Love, Nigger President, presents bread and circuses to distract the peasantry?


What are the odds??! lol

Enjoy the decline, sheeple!

whoresoftheinternet said...

Inga, and Mein Obama will gladly let your daughter die and deny doing it.

And then laugh about it with Eric Holder.

Enjoy the decline, baby-killer!

betamax3000 said...

Re: "I heard that Scarlett Johansson spent two hours in the bedroom with OCD robot, but they kept it clean."

OCD Robot says:

If You Are Going to Risk the Germs and Microscopic Critters associated with the Bedroom it Might as well be with Scarlett Johansson.

whoresoftheinternet said...

Scarlett Johansson is a great example of how you do not even need to be a competent actress in Hollywood. You just need a good publicist and a very careful selection of your projects.

Bitch couldn't act her way out of a paper bag, and, if not in good light, is a chubby girl with cow-like face with lazy eyes, but damn, she's a megastar. At least to the lefties and their enablers here.

Good on her. If you can't fight the stupidity, profiting from it is a good option.

Enjoy the decline, suckers!

Saint Croix said...

whores is Ritmo, yes?

Inga said...

Ritmo IS NOT whores, No.

betamax3000 said...

But Inga IS The Anti-OCD Robot. OCD Robot is Wary.

Inga said...

Betamax, be afraid, be very afraid.....

onycophoran said...

Today’s woman argues for the seat down. If she did not disdain the women’s science of her mothers, she would argue for the top down as well. The top down is not only healthier, but it is fair for all concerned.

Modern extensions to life are based more upon public health and hygiene than upon medicine. Decades ago, an introductory class in home economics might put red dye in the toilet tank, whie paper towels on the floor, and flush, flush. It’s not long before the towels are all stained pink. A fecal miasma drifts out of that commode.

Today’s woman chooses feel-good rules over science. Low flow toilets that require flushing twice spread twice the miasma. Flush twice, your contact lens case on the counter is not yet fully coated. Flush twice, your toothbrush is waiting. Flush twice, and breathe deep into those lungs that seem to see more breathing disorders every day.

Inga said...

Let your pets drink out of your glass, sharing spit is good.

betamax3000 said...

OCD Robot says:

You Had Me at "fecal miasma."

And do Not Forget the Plunger in that Very Same Room.

gadfly said...

Lemon tree is so pretty
And the lemon flower is sweet
But the fruit of the poor lemon
Is impossible to eat

Saint Croix said...

You Had Me at "fecal miasma."

LOL.

betamax3000 said...

@ Ann:
Thank you for letting My Comment be a kind of Cafe Thread. Definitely has Made My Day,

Cushing said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cushing said...

Just remember that only 1/10th of the cells in contained on or in your body are your own. The rest are bacteria!

Rabel said...

Bender said:

"If you're digusted with it sitting in the toilet, just don't think about the fact that we carry around that nasty within our bodies."

And feed off of it.

NotquiteunBuckley said...

"Hard to believe that U.S. authorities would have censored speech against a country and an ideology that, less than a decade later, was our biggest enemy."

It is hard to believe, there must be something more to know.

NotquiteunBuckley said...

Commies killed John Lennon and Patton because they were too goodly American.

Labels don't matter of course.

What if I am, or might become, too good?

Or goodly?

Might I not be killed too by the commies?

Best to wallow.

NotquiteunBuckley said...

In a moment of what is my seriousness (not really sober [unless as a judge they drink as to make fish envy c.f. "Up in Smoke") Limbaugh is correct when saying "ignorance" is our most costly error.

As in every society, but least in ours.

El Pollo Raylan said...

betamax3000 said...
@ El Pollo Raylan: 76 Listens! A Testament to Your Fine Work!

Collaboration rules!

I wonder what it takes to trend on chirbit?

NotquiteunBuckley said...

Is China more unignent?

Swedan?

The Scandis?

Any honest answer would have to start including GDP in that answer and the qualifications are what interest me.

Were I smart I would know why caveats and precepts and qualifications don't subsume.

I am not.

NotquiteunBuckley said...

Ecumenical positivism and epistemological optimism are quite not the same.


I confused the two.

NotquiteunBuckley said...

"minimum balance" is anti-male hysteria worthy of the label "epidemic" were labels to matter, which they don't.

NotquiteunBuckley said...

Paddy your credentials influence me.

Like our host and the Instapundit which I quoted above yet didn't attribute till now sadly.

NotquiteunBuckley said...

From the only ever Ace.mu.nu and you know why if not idiocy is your centrality.

October 03, 2010
Obama, You Own Personal Jesus

I was just telling someone how awesome this (old) video is is. But I couldn't find it, since Depeche Mode has gotten it taken off every site where it's appeared.

I found it again. But hosted on a site with dirty porn-type ads.

I'll link it below and hope that no inappropriate ads show up. (At the very end, there is one inappropriate ad bundled in: A racy one for Adult Friend Finder. But it's not so bad (except you know what Adult Friend Finder's all about) and you can avoid it by not letting it run to the very end.)

"It's really superbly done. When it was created, it portrayed Obama's campaign as creepily messianic. It still does that, of course, but now it's also bitterly ironic: the testament of a God Who Failed."

As NotquiteunBuckley speaking here, those are Ace of Spades' words.

The video you are not worthy to judge per reality.

Take your theories and compare them to Your Own Personal Jesus which is to too many obviously and of course Obama.

Censor this and all for whatever whimsy may occur ever.

ken in sc said...

I have seen poodle puke bleach out a carpet. Not just a grass-eating throw up, a a real stomach acid puke. It was bleached before I could wipe it up.

NotquiteunBuckley said...

Maybe, and I am not proclaiming here, Jerry has a problem with "lonesome blues" composers.

Self-hating composers is common but not right.

Jerry is one who likes to proclaim his shoes and their tightening aspects.

https://www.google.com/search?hl=en&output=search&sclient=psy-ab&q=deal+grateful+dead&btnG=Submit&oq=&gs_l=&pbx=1

Don't copy and paste you lazy fucks: this URL is meant for those other than that that hate the copy and paste 20% instead of loving the 80% content.

Tari said...

The 13 year old and his classmates had to swab something at school for science class, and then let their sample grow in Petri dishes for a week. While the boys' bathroom floor did respectably well, the dirtiest place they found was a classmate's face. Ugh.

betamax3000 said...

189 Listens to El Pollo Raylan: I feel Like I am Part of a Hit Record Climbing the Charts.

kentuckyliz said...

I do very little housework, because it enhances the immune system.

All those cleaning chemicals are bad for you--especially elbow grease.

kentuckyliz said...

It's just a little pinprick
There'll be no more Ahhhh!
But you may feel a little sick

jr565 said...

Bagoh20:
"While we are on the subject of grossity and contact with it, I have a suggestion for dog owners. Feed your dog just raw meat and bones from the grocery store or from hunters or butchers, if you have that luxury"


Is this true for cats as well?
We had a cat that would eat nothing but dry food, and got really fat and became diabetic.

bagoh20 said...

jr565, Yes, especially good for cats, which are obligate carnivores, and must have animal protein. If you Google "raw feeding cats" I'm sure you'll find all kinds of info. You'll probably find people saying it's a terrible thing too, but that's the internet - every opinion is equal. Yaaaa!