May 2, 2013

"So I never say 'Where are you? You should be home by now.'"

"I never place demands on him because I think he’s a really talented man and he’s putting something good into the world," says Gwyneth Paltrow, who says she's "a very grounded, homey person," while her husband Chris Martin "is a very mad scientist, genius songwriter."

So... you've got a genius in the family. How do you properly care for him? One thing you could do is address him as "genius."

Hey, genius, you left the eggs out of the refrigerator.

31 comments:

Meade said...

Oh come on, I didn't leave the eggs out that long. Only about 10 minutes. Here, I'll do the math for you: An hour and a half in dog time. Half past.

Methadras said...

Her role as Pepper Pots is the only real redeeming quality she has.

tiger said...

Chris Martin can't be *that* smart.

After all he married Gwyneth Paltrow.

Freeman Hunt said...

Hey genius, telling your genius that he's too special to be considerate is going to make him less genius and more jerk.

furious_a said...

It could simply be that Ms. Paltrow trusts her husband, and that her husband is a trustworthy man. Oddly enough, there are marriages like that.

the only real redeeming quality

I watched the whole season of Spain - On the Road Again and she seemed like a very pleasant travel companion. Comfortable sharing with another woman -- Claudia Bassols -- at least as beautiful as she is.

EMD said...

What the fuck does GOOP stand for?

cassandra lite said...

Chris prefers to be known as Einstein.

EMD said...

Stealing music takes immense brain power.

Bob_R said...

Leaving the eggs out is not a bad thing. Leave enough eggs for the morning omelet out overnight. They will empty more completely, mix more easily and cook up creamier. If you are worried about salmonella wash them with soap and water before leaving them out.

Freeman Hunt said...

Furious, trust? What are you reading into what I wrote?

I meant that if one is working late, it is considerate to let the person at home know. (That way you aren't waiting on dinner or letting the kids stay up late to say hello.)

Pogo said...

'Genius' must mean something different in the UK.

Meade said...

"Dear Genius, I would like to take a moment to acknowledge your talents, groundedness, and hominess, as well as the letter you sent to me via your attorneys."

Meade said...

"... after my attorneys wrote to you to say, 'Where are you, genius? You should be home by now.'"

edutcher said...

Compared to her, my dog, Sherlock, he of the peanut brain, qualifies for the name, Genius.

wyo sis said...

Coldplay = genius?
Who knew?

Pogo said...

I know.

What she really said was that her husband Chris Martin "is a very mad scientist, genus songwriter."

Genus: Treacly pop.

"And it was aahlll yellow..."

EMD said...

"So I never say 'Where are you? You should be home by now.'"

- Lee Heist

EMD said...

Actually, I sometimes wish my wife would recognize my true genius and brag about it.

MayBee said...

In the UK, the eggs never go in the refrigerator.

In the grocery stores, they are sold on the dry shelves, not in the refrigerated section.
It's very hard to get used to, especially after a lifetime of throwing out eggs left out of the refrigerator for too long.

Mary Beth said...

Is that first photo of her meant to be attractive?

wildswan said...

There is an excellent book about a real genius and the real mess he lives in - The Genius in my Basement. You can preview the book on Amazon and it totally reconciles you to a few clothes on the floor.

Deb said...

She added: 'I drive the kids to school, I cook. But I have a nanny, so if I need to go to Dubai for Max Factor, then I can.'

Somehow I find this utterly hysterically funny. This bimbo hasn't got a clue.

bandmeeting said...

Hey GENIUS, you don't have to refrigerate eggs. I went out of town last week for 8 days and, yesterday, had some yummy eggs that had been sitting out the whole time.

mccullough said...

If this is her attitude, what kind of shit does she let their kids get away with?

Jeff Teal said...

Per the Stanford-Binet definition 1 per cent of the population will be considered as a genius.Do the math that means 70000000 geniusses in the world.I think that our drfinition of genius is really flawed.

Nomennovum said...

Hey. What's to criticize? She sings her husbands praises. She's thin and hot (for a forty year old and she IS the most beautiful woman on the planet). Clearly, he is doing something right.

They'll be married another two years easy.

William said...

Everything about her life is perfect. Of course her husband is a genius. You didn't think she'd marry some lout.....I've seen her on interviews. She seems like a nice person, but all that perfection is wearying. You just know it will end badly. The evil djinns are gathering and will show her what for.

Michael K said...

Isn't it interesting how fast her "most hated celebrity" story went away.

Darrell said...

I watched the whole season of Spain - On the Road Again and she seemed like a very pleasant travel companion

I like the episode where she ate a single green bean and she was raving about it. Then they told her that it was heated in a meat deduction. Sinve the chef was eating with them, she made a face then said it was so good. But I didn't see her eat another.

Darrell said...

Chris Martin is known for his anti-capitalist rants.

Genius all right. Say, where'd you get the sixty room house? Where do I sign up?

ken in sc said...

When I was growing up, fresh laid eggs from my grandmothers chicken coop were always kept in a basket on the table until they were used. They were never put in the refrigerator. I have read that people who eat refrigerated eggs that are stored for many months—such as in Antarctica—don't like fresh eggs the first time they get them afterwords.