March 30, 2013

"Mother of Two Princeton Men Scolds College Women For Showing Insufficient Enthusiasm for Marrying Princeton Men."

Scoffing at what might be good advice

The advice: "Find a husband on campus before you graduate.... you will never again be surrounded by this concentration of men who are worthy of you."

The scoff — by the oft-off Amanda Marcotte — is that the woman is really only concerned about her sons and she's embarrassing them badly.

27 comments:

wyo sis said...

scoff — by the oft-off Amanada Marcotte

masterful.

Inga said...

Yes, mom may have embarrassed her sons, but she actually does make a minor point, however smart women will be smart enough to connect with smart men, even off campus.

Or they may marry for, wait for it......love, when the time is right. Be flexible.

damikesc said...

Who is saying these girls are worth the guys' effort?

The Godfather said...

Funny. I had a (male) classmate and friend in a different Ivy League college (Class of 1965) who expressed almost the same view: That he needed to find a wife while in college, because after that there simply wouldn't be as many opportunities to meet suitable women ("after you start working, the only women you'll meet are secretaries"). Somehow he managed to find a suitable wife post-college anyway.

Plus ca change . . . , I suppose.

Oso Negro said...

The Princeton lady is on to something. Setting aside the last 50 years of feminist rhetoric and indoctrination, as a parent of a contemporary 22 year old daughter and 16 year old daughter it is becomes clear what to wish for. Nature has given women an optimal reproductive window of roughly 15 to 30. Of course it can happen outside that range, but I said "optimal". Middle and upper-class white folks have truncated the lower end of the range. If you wait to you hit the upper end of the range you are bumping into riskier biological territory and I bet any regular contributor knows a couple with the woman in her 30s who have struggled to get pregnant. So, if your daughter is in college, and you don't want an embarrassing early grandchild, or the Beijing Special, you pretty much have to cheer for her to find Mr. Right while she is on campus. As Princeton Mom observes, after graduation the arithmetic is more challenging. I can cheerfully report that my 22-year-old who graduated in December is working for a major bank in NYC. But I am ecstatic that her boyfriend is finishing his Petroleum Engineering Degree back here in Texas and that things appear to be on track for a wedding. She can pop the kids out in her 20s while she has the energy and then get on with the rest of her life.

Paddy O said...

Or they may marry for, wait for it......love, when the time is right. Be flexible.

Love is undependable.

What women need is high standardized test scores and stellar high school GPAs to tell them who is worthy.

Who needs outdated courting rituals when you have the well-honed insight of admissions staff hand-picking a pool of potential mates?

wyo sis said...

I've done it both ways. I popped 4 kids out before I was thirty, then had one at 43. Before thirty was much easier.

Phil 3:14 said...

Maybe the Princeton women are looking for Harvard men

Ann Althouse said...

"masterful."

Thx.

Would have been even more masterful had I not typo'd "Amanda."

Oso Negro said...

Wyo Sis - It is easier for men as well. The son I had at 30 got a much friskier me than the daughter I had at 40. At the age of 56, I am being terrorized by my 16-year-old daughter and thinking of reporting myself as abused elderly to the state Department of Human Services.

Edward Lunny said...

Considering the devastation wrought by those ,alleged, elites from those elite institutions whom constantly remind us that they know best ; we might all be better off were they to wait until much later in life to comingle, mate, procreate etc.
Forcing an issue, especially an issue with as much import as this, will always lead to a satisfactory if not optimal outcome.
Perhaps that explains the optimal outcome of the recommendations and policies instituted by these elites.

Edward Lunny said...

" Blogger Oso Negro said..." it isn't abuse, it's exercise, cardio. Preparation for grandkids.

edutcher said...

Don't marry an Ivy Leaguer.

Marry somebody who's going to have a job in 20 years.

pm317 said...

Unmarried women are a problem or have a problem -- that seems to be the sentiment in societies all across the globe. Pushing marriage on women more than men, why is that?

virgil xenophon said...

I tend to agree with Oso Negro. (Of course being Class of '66 I culturally would, wouldn't I?) But everything in life is a double-edged sword. I clearly saw that dilemma even as an undergrad, but had a career as a fighter pilot and a war to fight ahead of me so didn't want to get tied down. Significantly I finally found a mate back on campus again in grad school after I got out of the AF and married at age 29 to a 23-yr-old RN getting her MS in Abnormal Psych. (And she's been actively managing my psyche ever since, lol.)

MadisonMan said...

Not a good advertisement for her mother-in-law abilities.

Crimso said...

"Pushing marriage on women more than men, why is that?"

So there is a constituency for polygamy after all, eh? (Sorry, couldn't resist)

ironrailsironweights said...

however smart women will be smart enough to connect with smart men, even off campus

Of course if the smart men they encounter happen to be Betas, the women will utterly ignore them.

Peter

somefeller said...

Edutcher says:Don't marry an Ivy Leaguer. Marry somebody who's going to have a job in 20 years.

The last sentence is good advice, but doesn't have much to do with the first sentence. People who go to elite schools, Ivy League or otherwise, tend to have good career prospects in their fields. Exceptions exist, but the law of averages favors those with degrees from top schools.

Although it's kind of amusing seeing the second sentence being written by an unemployed and unemployable guy like you. Maybe your wife should have taken that advice?

somefeller said...

The mom is on to something, but mentioning her sons wasn't the way to make her point. That won't help their luck at the campus pub.

But the basic idea of assortative mating is correct and a largely unspoken aspect of modern life and a reason why people go to college. She shouldn't worry too much, however, as there are lots of places where such people gather post-graduation. Though as Peter implies, it won't help much if the guys are betas or omegas. The odds aren't good if the goods are odd.

elkh1 said...

What's wrong with her sons?

William said...

The mother makes good points, but the letter should have been written anonymously.....It's very rare that a woman will have a better choice at thirty than at twenty. The reverse is true for those men who manage to grind through grad school.

wyo sis said...

elkh1 said...

What's wrong with her sons?

They have her for a mother.

William said...

Well, it's the Ivy League. Maybe the girls are waiting for their acne to clear up and then to make enough money for really first rate implants.

Sam L. said...

My daughter met her husband in college. I, however, met her mom much later than that.

Unknown said...

I think it's better to meet your husband at grad or law school. Otherwise you might have deal with who gets in where, plus you're not generally ready.

But I take her point. It's not just the intensity of the dating pool, it's that people aren't old, jaded and bitter yet - male and female. You want to have a memory of each other before you get old to harken back to in times of trouble.

Still, I'd say grad school.

W.C. Varones said...

Ivy League snobbery justified? You make the call.

http://www.wcvarones.com/2013/03/ivy-league-snobbery-justified.html