February 7, 2013

"I'm not sure why, but it seems like straight women are more interested in gay sex than gay men are."

"So I've decided to answer five of the most common questions I've been asked about gay sex by straight women."



(Via Buzzfeed.)

138 comments:

Alfred Lansing said...

Women tend to be interested in the morbid--e.g. plane crashes, child abductions, unsolved murders--so it doesn't surprise me that they are interested in gay sex.

edutcher said...

This is why homosexuality only sounds good in the abstract.

Unless it's a couple of girls that look like Lucy Pinder.

And, as to question 5, The Blonde (she who worked years in communicable disease) comes down on the side of the ladies - it is a mess.

n.n said...

Alfred Lansing:

A large number of women, perhaps a majority, are also eager promoters or tacit supporters of elective abortion. Their concern for human life, and certainly evolutionary fitness, leaves a lot to be desired. It's not surprising that once they embrace the principal dysfunctional behavior, that they would develop an interest for minor contributors.

Oso Negro said...

Oh, right. Like I am going to watch THAT cartoon.....

Inga said...

Women are far less squeamish than many males. Traditionally nurses are women, who deal with blood, anuses and feces without bilking an eye. Gay sex, pffft, nothing shocking there, no more than things that happen during straight sex.

What some straight men insert up their anuses or insert their penises into is far more shocking. Ever work in an ER?

edutcher said...

Inga said...

Women are far less squeamish than many males. Traditionally nurses are women, who deal with blood, anuses and feces without bilking an eye. Gay sex, pffft, nothing shocking there, no more than things that happen during straight sex.

Ever hear of corpsemen or medics? Combat infantry, armor, recon, or artillery?

They see everything a nurse does (and there are plenty of male nurses and paramedics).

As for what happens, I can only relate The Blonde's reaction to the experience of treating AIDS patients for 5 years, "Why can't they keep this stuff to themselves?".

Alfred Lansing said...

Inga,

I am so relieved that my sex life doesn't involve anuses, feces or blood. You have no idea.

Inga said...

Right on time. How did I know? I must have ESP.

And nooooo Edutcher, I never ever ever heard of Corpsmen. o_O

Inga said...

Alfred, that's good to know, thanks for sharing! :)

Carnifex said...

I know all I need to know about gay sex. I learned it from a book I downloaded on my Kindle..."MY BIG BLACK GAY COP III" I swear to God that is the title , and I read it this week...well it is a very short book, it took just minutes. I am not going to see if there is "MY BIG BLACK GAY COP I, or II"

Titus would approve of it though...lots of big hogs in it :-)

edutcher said...

Inga said...

Right on time. How did I know? I must have ESP.

No, you just know somebody is going to call you when you start throwing the feminist, gay positive, Lefty bull around.

If not me, then Shout, Methedras, Jay, somebody.

I know you'd like us all to STFU so you can just spread whatever it is you want to spread, but, sad to say, somebody's always going to be here.

Inga said...

B.O.R.I.N.G as all get out.

Meade, how is Edutcher making these threads interesting for anyone other than himself with this relentless fixation on myself?

Carnifex said...

My wife has sex involving assholes...one specifically...ME! We're good to go as long as she keeps it that way. And no, there is no playing with my backdoor... that is strictly an off ramp in the highway of my life.

And nurses do stuff that give me the pukes...I salute all of you. Except for that one at my Dads hospital... She I could easily dismember.

ricpic said...

Did you mention the fudge factor?

chickelit said...

That was way too abstract. They needed to make the details of their foreplay more concrete.

chickelit said...

Inga deflects: What some straight men insert up their anuses or insert their penises into is far more shocking. Ever work in an ER?

See my previous link--a Medical Journal article.

Revenant said...

I love all the half-baked psychology surrounding this. "Embrace the principal dysfunctional behavior". "Women are less squeamish". Oy.

Most hetero men are turned on by fantasies of lesbian sex too. There's no deep mystery here. You have 2 of the gender you're attracted to and 0 of the gender you're not. What's not to like?

Inga said...

Here's a funny straight sex ER story.

SUPERMAN

"A neighbour of a newly wed couple was worried when she didn't hear her rather noisey neighbours for a while. A few days later, she peered through their letterbox and through the windows. But there was no sign of anyone. Concerned for the young couple, she called the police. The officers promptly broke down the door, then searched the house. Only to find the young women gagged and tied to the bed. Her husband was lying unconscious on the floor, wearing a Superman Outfit. They later explain that they had been engaged in a superhero role-playing fantasy, and the costumed husband had knocked himself out attempting to jump onto his wife from atop the dresser. Of course, the woman was unable to help him!"


http://www.digitaldreamdoor.com/pages/quotes/er-stories.html

Inga said...

CATS TOYS

"An unconscious 30-year-old man was brought to the ER by ambulance. His girlfriend had found him lying naked on the floor of his bathroom and called 911. In the ER, he was found to have a large lump on the top of his head and, strangely, several scratches on his scrotum. The doctors figured the lump was possibly caused by a fall or a knock to the head. However the source of the scratches remained a mystery until he woke up and provided the doctors with the following explanation. He said he had been cleaning his bathtub while naked, kneeling on the floor beside the tub. His cat, apparently transfixed by the rhythmic swaying of his scrotum, lunged forward, sinking its claws into this pendulous target. This caused the man to rocket upward, striking his head on the top frame of the shower door."

Alfred Lansing said...

I find it interesting that Inga's analogies for gay sex--that supposedly make it unremarkable--are stories of traumatic injuries in emergency rooms.

sydney said...

Looks like gay sex requires way too many props.

Andy R. said...

Anyone got any more questions?

chickelit said...

Sorry Inga, but non of those stories beat the concrete enema one; I think it's the dry medical-ese language:

This article describes an unusual rectal foreign body resulting from homosexual anal erotic activities. The patient had used an enema containing a concrete mix which became impacted and required surgical removal. The use, abuse, and complications of enemas are reviewed.
Key Words: Anal eroticism--Colorectal injuries--Enemas, cement--Foreign bodies--Paraphilias.

During the last 20 years, sexual habits have changed in western society. Both homosexuals and heterosexuals have shown an increasing interest in anal erotic practices, including the use of enemas for sexual enjoyment. We report a case of a klismaphiliac who had an impacted foreign body in his rectum followin an enema with a concrete mix.

CASE REPORT
A 20-year-old man presented to the emergency room complaining of rectal pain. A well-nourished, well-developed man without signs of intoxication was admitted in no apparent distress. Digital examination of the rectum revealed a stony hard mass. Abdominal plain films showed a vertically oriented, low-lying radiopaque object in the rectum. A spherical radiolucency was noted in the upper pole of the mass. A blood alcohol level was negative. No other drug testing was performed.
Upon further questioning, the patient said that approximately 4 hrs earlier he and his boyfriend had been "fooling around." After stirring a batch of concrete mix, the patient laid on his back with his feet against the wall at a 45-degree angle while his boyfriend poured the mixture through a funnel into his rectum. After the concrete mass hardened, it became so painful that he sought medical care.
Under general anesthesia, the anus was dilated and two Foley catheters were inserted alongside the rectal mass to relieve suction. A concrete case of the rectum was delivered without incident. The rectal mucosa was intact with a hyperemic and edematous appearance.
The patient was kept overnight and discharged uneventfully the following morning. The attending physician recommended a psychiatric consultation, but the patient declined.

PATHOLOGIC EXAMINATION
Examination of the specimen revealed a perfect concrete cast of the rectum, measuring 12 X 7 X 5 cm and weighing 275 g (Fig. 2). A thin layer of feces coated the surface and crevices. Grooves in the mass were consistent with rectal mucosal folds. A layer of concrete was chipped off the upper part of the specimen and revealed a white plastic ping-pong ball. This corresponded to the radiolucency observed in the abdominal x-ray.

chickelit said...

Andy R. said...
Anyone got any more questions?

Are enemas considered foreplay?

Andy R. said...

Are enemas considered foreplay?

No.

R. Chatt said...

chickelit said, "That's one hard ass dude."

Inga said...

The 13 Craziest objects ever found inside people

Alfred, not an analogy for gay sex at all. Why would you think so, that's weird. Some people say gay sex is weird to them, did ya ever think some straight sex is weird too?

Andy R. said...

did ya ever think some straight sex is weird too

Straight sex is extremely weird. Straight guy's put their penises where?

edutcher said...

Andy R. said...

Anyone got any more questions?

Why not get a girlfriend so you don't have to go through all that fuss and bother?

No equipment needed except what God gave you.

Inga said...

B.O.R.I.N.G as all get out.

Meade, how is Edutcher making these threads interesting for anyone other than himself with this relentless fixation on myself?


All I did was disagree on the squeamish factor and she goes snarky.

PS Is calling out to Meade a substitute for reporting me to DHS or the FBI?

Inga said...

Andy, you and Palladian are so funny when it comes to women's anatomy. ;)

kentuckyliz said...

erma gherd....lerve cats toys story. LOL

Inga said...

Comeon Edutcher, join the convo, I just bet you got some stories to tell!

Comeon spill your guts......

Dust Bunny Queen said...

I'm not interested in "gay" sex. I know it exists and have knowledge of what it entails. How can we NOT have knowledge since the particulars are basically shoved in our faces in movies, television, writing, on the internet, in news stories.

Knowledge is not interest. I know that there are all kinds of kinky hetero sex practices too. I'm not interested to hear about yours and as a favor I won't tell you about mine ;-P.

If you mean interested in a "look at the car wreck on the side of the road way" I suppose that it just human nature. You don't want to look. You know it is going to be gross, nasty, disgusting and probably bloody....but yet.....most people on the freeway slow down, don't they?

That doesn't mean interested in that I'm going to go out of my way to search out bloody car wrecks.

Women may be used to dealing with some of the ickier aspects of life such as vomit, baby poop, dog barf, cat hairballs and bloody scraped up children. There are some who choose to be in medical arenas and face ever more gore. BUT...you cannot compare it to what men in battle have to face. Ever killed anyone Inga?

Baron Zemo said...

Please DBQ.

She was a nurse after all.

Baron Zemo said...

Please DBQ.

She was a nurse after all.

chickelit said...

R Chatt said: A layer of concrete was chipped off the upper part of the specimen and revealed a white plastic ping-pong ball.

WTF?

Palladian said...

I have met many straight women who have been fascinated by gay sex. The most embarrassing thing is when they've asked me for "sex tips": "how do I give a good blowjob?" or "My boyfriend has a really hot ass... what can I do to it that will stimulate him?". The women who have asked these questions have all been completely normal, bordering on prim, professional women.

As for the ass thing, I answered "when you're giving him head, very carefully and slowly and incrementally slip a (short nailed!) finger up there. If he goes completely mad with ecstasy, here's my number; have him give me a call.

Carnifex said...

as re the concrete asshole. he's is extremely lucky. Concrete is poisonous on long exposure...and the inspector missed the not having any rebar.

Palladian said...

BUT...you cannot compare it to what men in battle have to face.

...like, sometimes, GAY SEX!

hahaha

bagoh20 said...

I found that moderately dishonest due to an obvious agenda to portray it as not that different, which it stated as the conclusion at the end.

On many points, the implication was that since straights occasionally are do the same things that the general sex lives are the same. It's a matter of degree. Gays do certain things regularly that straights also do, but much less often.

Gay men are far more promiscuous, especially considering the smaller pool of partners. Sure there are exceptions, but for instance, if you compare a promiscuous gay to a promiscuous straight I believe the ratio of partners is probably double. I also believe that you find a similar higher partner rate with every comparable type from the lonely to screw-whatever-moves-types. It's just easier with two men. A shy gay guy will get sex much more than a shy straight guy.

Tops and bottoms are of course not regular decisions, but neither is it just like straights.

How do I know all this stuff? I travel the astral plane.

Inga said...

DBQ, if you read the thread you would've seen that at no point did I say that female nurses dealt with the same degree of gore as Corpsmen on the battlefield.

Nope I never killed anyone, I saved several though.

Did YOU kill anyone DBQ?

Dust Bunny Queen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Palladian said...

I like how straight people automatically assume that gay sex = anal intercourse.

Straight for the hole? Man, you bitches must be a boring lay!

O Ritmo Segundo said...

And no, there is no playing with my backdoor... that is strictly an off ramp in the highway of my life.

Lol. Your life is a rectum. Haha.

exiledonmainst said...

Straight sex is extremely weird. Straight guy's put their penises where?

2/7/13, 7:24 PM

I am sorry your father did not share your distaste for women, Andy. The world would have one less dunderhead in it.

As for gay male sex, no, I'm not interested in or fascinated by it at all. If others are, fine by me.

bagoh20 said...

I just don't get what possibly could be the idea behind the concrete enema. Why would you want to do that to someone you liked. Why would you allow it to be done to you? It can't possibly be erotic, and the negative consequences are pretty obvious? The strangest thing is that he was not drunk.

David said...

It seems it takes a not very funny self promoting woman to explain male gay sex. Or so the woman would have us think.

The lady needs a new set of straight female friends, methinks.

O Ritmo Segundo said...

Straight for the hole? Man, you bitches must be a boring lay!

You have no idea.

I'm a straight male and even I can pick up on how boring these commenters' sex lives must be. It practically screams BORING.

Incurious people have dull sex lives. You just have to be interesting in, er, exploring. Whatever. Anything.

Good sex is not for the unadventurous.

CEO-MMP said...

"Inga said...
B.O.R.I.N.G as all get out.

Meade, how is Edutcher making these threads interesting for anyone other than himself with this relentless fixation on myself? "

Meh...I like it. You deserve it. You vomit enough bullshit around here. Now go have another drink and shut up.

O Ritmo Segundo said...

Oh, I see that Allie and Chickie have got to the "Strange Insertions Brought into the E.D." portion of the discussion.

Here's Ali G's take on it. Kind of funny.

Inga said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
bagoh20 said...

Guys of all stripes are really messed up, or adventurous. You will never find a lesbian with concrete up her ass, at least not voluntarily. She might hide some hash brownies up there, but that at least makes sense.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

here's my number; have him give me a call.

That was very funny.

Women are far less squeamish than many males.

Quit trying to make this a feminist empowerment issue. Men versus Women.

Really I don't care what consenting people do to each other gay or straight. I'm not curious or "interested". When I hear stories about the concrete up the ass or pens inserted into the penis or any other not normal HARMFUL sexual practices.... gay, bi, hetero....I just think that ...1.)why should I care....and 2.)hope they can get some psychological help.

People should be able to get pleasure from each other. That is normal. Be in relationships that make them happy. I don't care if you are two guys, two gals, or a man and a woman. Live, love, laugh and be happy. Just keep your practices to yourself. Not interested.

Inga said...

CEO-MMP is going to go do his vacuuming now.

That was funny Ritmo!

O Ritmo Segundo said...

Lol. The guy with the ass full of concrete was "well nourished". Ok, thanks.

Physicians are hilarious sometimes.

O Ritmo Segundo said...

Did Bunny change her avatar to an upcoiled "middle finger" barb?

Love it.

Steve Koch said...

Women might just be looking for tips to turn on their guy. On the other side of the coin, I bet it is very rare for a straight guy to ask a lesbian for tricks and techniques to turn on a woman. You know it is, guys just don't like to ask for directions.

O Ritmo Segundo said...

I don't care if you are two guys, two gals...

What about a guy who's being approached by two gals? Huh, Bunny? Do you have advice? Hmmmm? (Taps foot). Because, well, just wondering.

The things a lack of jealousy between women will bring about...

CEO-MMP said...

Vacuuming, dishes and laundry. Why not? Simply not caring for your tired bullshit act doesn't make me some sort of misogynist.

I don't see how not being interested in gay (male) sex means people are boring. Sounds more like projection. No offense, Palladian.

Steve Koch said...

O Ritmo Segundo said...
"Did Bunny change her avatar to an upcoiled "middle finger" barb?Love it."

Very artistic, not just the middle finger motif but also the reference to a ranch.

O Ritmo Segundo said...

I sometimes wonder if all competition, economics and political developments are caused by the jealousy of women.

Inga said...

CEO did you watch Ritmo's video?

bagoh20 said...

" On the other side of the coin, I bet it is very rare for a straight guy to ask a lesbian for tricks and techniques to turn on a woman."

Oh, we want to ask, but women are more competitive, and they don't want to help you, because they know a woman can be turned easier, so straight men and lesbians are competitors. Besides nobody wants to have that discussion with the guy drooling on himself halfway through.

edutcher said...

Sorry, O She-Wolf of the SS, the only one I've ever done is The Blonde.

And she's very traditional.

Palladian said...

You will never find a lesbian with concrete up her ass

But you will find quite a few lesbians who act like they do.

bagoh20 said...

"What about a guy who's being approached by two gals?"

You mean some guys only do one at a time? Now that is some sick shit.

chickelit said...

Ritmo preaches: Incurious people have dull sex lives. You just have to be interesting in, er, exploring. Whatever. Anything.

I've known about that concrete enema article since grad school in the 80's. I laughed about it then too and this was a randy time--so your correlation doesn't really fit me.

BTW, there was another medical journal story going around then which didn't involve sex but rather poop. It was a carefully planned and executed study of floaters vs. sinkers--why some did and others didn't, including a thorough GC analysis. Titus or Cedarford would appreciate this. The funniest bit was in the materials and methods section where they described (I'll have to paraphrase because I haven't tracked it down): "samples were prepared using broad, flat bladed instrument (cheese slicer)."

pduggie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
O Ritmo Segundo said...

I'm straight but I would probably f*^% around with Palladian. Very innocently. Just because he's got the decency, honesty and class to not let this place bring him down or leave him with an unintelligent comment. That deserves a little sumpin sumpin. Just for a little bit.

But no bang bang bang in anus.

pduggie said...

He left out a major risk of sex: pregnancy.

Yes, I'm being obtuse.

Carnifex said...

Ritmo said"And no, there is no playing with my backdoor... that is strictly an off ramp in the highway of my life.

Lol. Your life is a rectum. Haha.
"

Well seeing as how I'm reading YOUR comments...wink wink nudge nudge..."say no more say no more:

CEO-MMP said...

No. Nothing funny about Ali G.

Besides, I have enough friends who're docs, nurses and x ray techs. I've heard plenty of stories about people (mostly men) sticking stupid stuff up themselves.

The best, I think, was a fluorescent light bulb-not a CFL, but an actual tube. Guy got it pretty deep and couldn't get it back out for some reason, was terrified it was going to break.

Inga said...

Chickie, that would mean the feces had to be quite firmly formed. Or frozen perhaps.

CEO-MMP said...

Jesus Ritty. It sounds like you're saying fooling around with you is a giant privilege, or a reward or something.

Conceit much?

O Ritmo Segundo said...

THe 7:58 comment is hilarious.

It also explains why American women are so damn uptight. They're taught to "act like men".

O Ritmo Segundo said...

I think "CEO-MMP" needs his ass de-concretized.

I guess we all get our own stalkers, right Inga? You and Ed. Me and this guy.

O Ritmo Segundo said...

Opinions by individuals who think Ali G is unfunny are inherently untrustworthy.

Inga said...

Apparently so Ritmo.

CEO-MMP said...

Ritty, I responded to a comment you made. Explain how that makes me your stalker?

In case you hadn't noticed, commenting and kibitzing is
kinda what happens here.

chickelit said...

Inga said...
Chickie, that would mean the feces had to be quite firmly formed. Or frozen perhaps.

Honestly, Inga, I don't recall the detailed language used to describe the instrument, but the way they put "cheese slicer" in parentheses was the funny part. And yes, the loaves must have been firm enough to slice. I don't recall any cryogenics.

bagoh20 said...

Lets make this a 600 comment thread about butts and feces, and then go get some chocolate through the Althouse portal.

O Ritmo Segundo said...

Most hetero men are turned on by fantasies of lesbian sex too. There's no deep mystery here. You have 2 of the gender you're attracted to and 0 of the gender you're not. What's not to like?

If the reality of lesbian sexuality and socialization doesn't rid one of this fantasy, nothing will. As Palladian notes, they're as serious in their attempted manliness as gays can be whimsical in their effeminate frivolity. Hopefully this chick might be a welcome exception, tho.

But I've generally decided to take the "Jersey housewife" view of my feelings re: homosexuality in the opposite sex. In the flyover or more "stable" places, they're fascinated by it. But in New Jersey antipathy among women toward male homosexuals is enormous. They view them as competition, evidently.

I'm the same way toward the lezzies. Even "bisexual" women make me a bit skittish.

Inga said...

Haha Baggy, I'm eating a Chilies and Cherries dark chocolate bar as we speak!

bagoh20 said...

As to the subject, the real reason that straight women ask gays about sexing men is that they assume there is some trick to it, and that it's not the incredibly simple task it is. Show up - get naked - have fun. Even a cave woman could do it.

bagoh20 said...

Inga, to really savor that, you should slice it with a cheese slicer.

Inga said...

Birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it....

Titus said...

I have had lots of sex.

90-95% doesn't involve anus.

It is mostly jerky jerky or suck my hog.

thanks.

tits.

O Ritmo Segundo said...

As to the subject, the real reason that straight women ask gays about sexing men is that they assume there is some trick to it...

That's true. Women seem to have this need of approaching socially fluid situations (inc. sex) the way a 16-year old MIT student would advanced calculus. With a guidebook, detached, and an attitude that if you don't have a way of plotting it all out beforehand, you're screwed.

Palladian said...

I'm straight but I would probably f*^% around with Palladian. Very innocently.

It might start out innocently, but it never ends up that way. At least with me at the helm (so to speak).

I do love straight guys, when I'm looking for some fun without emotional involvement. Hooking up with Ritmo? It's so perverse that I'd be totally into it.

bagoh20 said...

What I think Titus is trying to say is that a concrete anus is not really a deal breaker.

Inga said...

Baggy, no its better eaten slowly, licked a bit first, then the hunk of delicious chocolate held in one's mouth and savored
before swallowing it.

A chocolate lover knows these things.

bagoh20 said...

Palladian, that will not wash off afterward, and it might just cure you.

Palladian said...

Palladian, that will not wash off afterward, and it might just cure you.

He might be really well hung. A big dick makes up for a lot of personality flaws.

CEO-MMP said...

Not always, Palladian.

O Ritmo Segundo said...

If even W. was perverse enough to explore "western grip hand-jobs" with Skull and Bones buddy Dave Rothschild (or so Will Ferrell says) then I guess nothing's too extreme for this world. Or for this thread from the "astral plane".

chickelit said...

Inga channels Heidi Klum at 8:20

O Ritmo Segundo said...

A more concentrated clip for the comedically challenged.

Inga said...

Make that asstral plane, lol.

bagoh20 said...

"A big dick makes up for a lot of personality flaws."

Why do you think they called him the Montana Urban Legend? It wasn't only for his long paragraphs.

bagoh20 said...

And 100!

Inga said...

Maybe Althouse will need to put an X rating on this thread.

chickelit said...

@baoh2) I guess "Montana Urban Legend" and "western hand grip" go to together. I would have though English vs. Western myself.

Palladian said...

Bill Buckley may be the only man who made it through Yale without having gay sex of some sort.

O Ritmo Segundo said...

In order to shake Chickie's hand I'd have to travel very far West. A few thousand miles west, to be precise.

If only my, er, hand would reach that far.

I'll be over there this spring, but further north. Hope things are well in Diego, Chickie.

exiledonmainst said...

"Show up - get naked - have fun."

Yes. That's about it, isn't it? I could have saved myself the trouble of poring over Cosmo sex advice columns like I was studying for a calculus final if I had realized that when I was 18.

chickelit said...

@Palladian: I had an organic chemistry professor at Madison who was 4th or 5th generation Yale in the "doctor father" chain thingy. That's a lot of inbreeding!

edutcher said...

Palladian said...

You will never find a lesbian with concrete up her ass

But you will find quite a few lesbians who act like they do.


Hate to tell you, but that's a woman thing, regardless of whether they have a date for the prom.

O Ritmo Segundo said...



I guess we all get our own stalkers, right Inga? You and Ed. Me and this guy.


Other way around, dear Ritmo.

I can't make a straight (no pun) comment even in disagreement without the She-Wolf of the SS crying, "victim".

O Ritmo Segundo said...

IN searching BOrat clips I came across this hilarious one where he gets a massage.

I think this is the one where he somehow(?) wills himself into getting a hard-on while the masseuse goes to work.

That's very talented acting.

Inga said...

Ed is back to it again.....BORING.

Inga said...

Ritmo, kitzel, kitzel, LMAO, the German subtitles made it even funnier!

Inga said...

Kitzel= tickle.

O Ritmo Segundo said...

I got an even bigger kick how he immediately gets into sexual positions with the guy as he's just demonstrating how to lay down.

But how the heck does someone "will" themselves into being aroused like that? I mean, maybe the guy really is into slight, old, bald masseuses. But I'm going with the EXTRAORDINARILY talented actor theory, here.

I even entertained the possibility that he somehow found a prop to put under the towel.

What a paragon of the stage.

Chef Mojo said...

Ever work in an ER?

Why, yes. Yes, I have.

16 year old male admitted with his mom's vibrator way up his ass. Still vibrating. I was a security guard at the time. The doc was so amused that he had me put on a doc coat and a stethoscope to check out this kid's belly.

Bzzzzz...

Inga said...

Well that's a different way of getting buzzed.

DADvocate said...

Women are far less squeamish than many males. Traditionally nurses are women, who deal with blood, anuses and feces without bilking an eye.

Yes, women are superior in every way, except humility.

exiledonmainst said...

When I think back on it, I'm surprised I didn't take a vow of chastity after being subjected to "The Joy of Sex" and "Our Bodies, Ourselves" in the '70's.

"The Joy of Sex" featured illustrations of butt-ugly straight couples tying themselves into pretzels. Well, the women were OK, but the men were hideous. There was a little hippie gnome and a skinny twink of a "sensitive" 70's male. They weren't even well-hung, because "The Joy of Sex" was quick to assure its' male readers that size didn't matter.

That book might have turned me lesbian - until I saw the photos in "Our Bodies, Ourselves." Hairy feminists with pedulous breasts and pubic hair that practically reached their knees.

They had to be the most unsexy sex manuals ever published.

DADvocate said...

how is Edutcher making these threads interesting for anyone other than himself with this relentless fixation on myself?

YOU'RE ASKING THAT QUESTION REGARDING SOMEONE ELSE!? That's rich. The only interesting aspect of your comments is the demonstration of constant inanity and insipidness.

edutcher said...

Inga said...

Ed is back to it again.....BORING.

Just correcting Ritmo. I hate the idea of him going through life with all these misconceptions.

PS BORING is, well, unimaginative.

DADvocate said...

As for gay sex, take the "safe sex" warning seriously. Gay sex killed my brother.

O Ritmo Segundo said...

You keep on keepin' on, DAD and ed.

Acting all bitchy and personal in a thread about gay anal sex.

As can be expected.

bagoh20 said...

"But how the heck does someone "will" themselves into being aroused like that?"

I went to a urologist one time to have my scrotum lanced. I don't know, it was a slow week, and I couldn't talk anyone else into touching it. Anyway, I didn't want him to think I was gay, so I concentrated on not being excited, unfortunately it worked really well. The procedure was a little painful and scary, which helped enormously with the shrinkage I was going for. Then out of nowhere he calls in his two cute 20 something female assistants to clean me up and put a band aid on it.

Well now I'm trying to think myself up an instant antidote, but it was just too far too fast to make that journey. I shuffled out in despair and shame thinking of George Costanza, and how unfair that was, and vowing to return with reinforcements.

exiledonmainst said...

My ER story concerns a guy who came in with a bottle of Johnson's Baby Powder stuck up his ass. He told the staff that he just happened to sit down on it.

Of course! Everyone needs to to watch where they plant their bare asses because those bottles of baby powder are there, lurking....

Inga said...

Exiled, ha!

I remember being in nursing school and the instructor was demonstrating the application of a condom catheter on a well hung fella, he became quite aroused and it was quite comical watching that thing bob around. All the while the instructor acting as if nothing was "up", we nursing students giggling like mad. The poor fellow didn't seem to mind a bit.

bagoh20 said...

This is a great subject huh?

Just for kicks I had a liver transplant once, and the nurses would occasionally come in and do a swab of both ends of my alimentary canal. They claim to have their reasons.

One day they brought in a very young, diminutive, shy, Asian student nurse to do it to me. I never felt so bad for someone in my life. I was completely helpless, yet I felt like I was participating in her torture. There I was with tubes coming out everywhere and people spreading my butt cheeks and staring like Honey BooBoo was in there picking her nose, yet I was the one who felt sorry for HER. Afterward, I said "sorry" and she said "thanks".

furious_a said...

I travel the astroglide plane.

There, fixed it for you.

edutcher said...

O Ritmo Segundo said...

You keep on keepin' on, DAD and ed.

Acting all bitchy and personal in a thread about gay anal sex.

As can be expected.


Personal?

Setting the record straight (no pun, again) is getting personal?

You wouldn't want me to let you go through life in error, would you?

tiger said...

Ahhh the rainbow that is human sexuality.

tiger said...

'O Ritmo Segundo said...
And no, there is no playing with my backdoor... that is strictly an off ramp in the highway of my life.

Lol. Your life is a rectum. Haha.'

'"Wrecked him"? Damn near KILLED HIM!'
Haha.

chickelit said...

Inga said...
Kitzel= tickle.

At first I thought you wrote Kitzler. Naw, couldn't be.

CEO-MMP said...

How is that whenever Ritty starts whiningly accusing others of acting bitchy he sounds like the biggest cunt in town?

Jesus Ritty. Act like you've got a set. It's comments on a blog.

"oh nose...there's a stalker...help help someone dared respond to a comment of mine...I may cry..."

Christ.
Sissy twat.

William said...

If men had a G-spot, it wouldn't have taken gays thousands of years to discover its existence.

Swede said...

Is there some sort of requirement that guy men talk and sound like the caricature that straight men think gay men talk and sound like?

HA said...

Yuck. Somebody should ask this guy how to prevent the spread of antibiotic-resistant gonorrhea.

Tom said...

So another story from the ER: a gentleman arrives at the ER with significant, intermittent abdominal pain. He complains of severe pain that comes and goes. After numerous negative tests, the doctor asks, "sir, what did you put in your anus?" Embarrassed, the man finally admits that it was his Nokia cell phone. As the doctor listens to his stomach, he says, "I can hear it vibrating."

"Yeah, that's my wife calling."

The doctor, without missing a beat asks him, "I have to ask, who is your carrier? Because I get terrible reception in this place!"

Titus said...

He sounds like the Honey Badger Gay.

Not all gays sound like that.

I could never do a gay that had that voice.

tits.

hombre said...

"I'm not sure why, but it seems like straight women are more interested in gay sex than gay men are."

Unlikely, but if true, morbid curiosity. Also silly.

Methadras said...

There it is again, the leftard penchant for cartoons to distribute their propaganda.

SOJO said...

What I find interesting about gay men and their sex tales is that they (rolls eyes: in my personal experience) retain a woman's highly developed sense of situational aesthetics and ethics, yet do all that nasty shit anyway like a het guy. Then they tell you the story just like a girlfriend would with all the eye rolls etc. at how gross and/or ridiculous it is.

So you finally get to find out what guys are thinking when they did that, in a language you can relate to - and best of all, it has nothing to do with you, so you don't have to get pissed off.

And it's hilarious. There's that.