February 1, 2013

2 men try to carjack a Corvette at gunpoint, but can't make it go, because it's a stick shift.

The owner of the car — one Mr. Bean — even tried to explain it to them. 
"I had to tell him four different times to push in the clutch... My first thought was I guess we don't have driver's ed. in school anymore... And my second thing was, don't shoot me because you can't start the car," Bean said. "I'm trying to help you out here, you know. Thankfully they didn't."

64 comments:

LYNNDH said...

Oh NO, not Mr. Bean!!!!!!! No wonder the pair had a hard time.

MadisonMan said...

Why's he sticking around to see if the car is successfully stolen?

Rusty said...

MadisonMan said...
Why's he sticking around to see if the car is successfully stolen?

Halooo! Gunpoint.

I don't know about you, but I need a bus pass to make a fifty yard dash.

Carol said...

Reminds me of that jewelry store robbery attempt in Singapore or some place, where the robber points a semi-auto pistol at the clerk. Only, it was racked back and the slide was open, so the clerk knew it wouldn't shoot and just grabbed it away from him.

I lol'd.

Sorun said...

Still, Randolph was pretty forgiving when asked what message he had for the “handsome young men, who did not look like car thieves.”

The Stockholm syndrome takes effect within a few minutes?

Original Mike said...

Wow, both my cars are unstealable. Cool!

Original Mike said...

"Why's he sticking around to see if the car is successfully stolen?"

They would have shot me as I was rolling around on the ground, laughing my ass off.

bpm4532 said...

It's nice to know my beemer is safe, now.

ndspinelli said...

I loved stick shift but had to go to automatic when I got my cell phone in 1989[I have the same phone # to this date]. I suspect many others did for the same reason. However, when you rent a car outside the US you get stick shift..unless you really want to pay. Shifting is like riding a bike, it comes right back to your muscles memory.

Original Mike said...

"However, when you rent a car outside the US you get stick shift"

We rented a car in Norway and were disappointed it was an automatic. The guy we picked it up from thought we wussy Americans would be pleased.

Michael said...

Only pussies cant drive a stick.

Curious George said...

"bpm4532 said...
It's nice to know my beemer is safe, now." If you are referring to a BMW automobile, it's a "bimmer."

Curious George said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Big Mike said...

@Michael, them's fighting words.

I drove a stick for a period of less than a month in 1971. Doubt the muscle memory will come back.

Lem said...

My second car was an 87 Ford Escort GT with manual transmission.

I learned it because the girl I liked had one.

Mark said...

Sad on so many levels.

Mark said...

To be fair, I'd have trouble with a paddle shifter -- never have had the opportunity to drive a car with one, but it's a cool idea.

Big Mike said...

A friend of mine got carjacked. The two criminals, one armed, demanded his keys so he reached into his pockets and tossed his key ring to them, then he dashed into a nearby building and called the cops.

Later the cops asked him why the criminals couldn't start the car.

"Because I accidentally tossed them my house keys."

One of the carjackers, in handcuffs and in front of the police, said "So that's why it wouldn't start!"

Criminal masterminds only happen on second-rate TV shows

mccullough said...

These dudes didn't have fathers to teach them to drive stick.

Brew Master said...

“Guys, turn your life around. You guys have got a lot going for you,” he said. “Thank you for not taking my life for something silly as a car.”

Until the next car jacking that doesn't go so smooth, and maybe that victim winds up dead.

Criminals are usually not the smartest bunch around, I'm not surprised they couldn't drive a stick.

Revenant said...

The real news here is that some maniac named her son "Randy Bean".

campy said...

I still miss my RHD ex-USPS International Scout I owned 30 years ago. I've got muscle memories for both right- and left-hand shifting.

Paul said...

Sound like Mr. Bean need to give them some motivation to learn... Say a 9mm Glock pointed at their noggin.

After all it was in Florida were getting a CCW permit is not hard.

Tim said...

How much longer before Obama issues an Executive Order against manual transmissions?

edutcher said...

Dumb crook stories are more prevalent than we think.

It's the mean crook or psycho crook stories that get the headlines.

Michael said...

Only pussies cant drive a stick.

Things like that can get you banned, sir.

Crunchy Frog said...

How long before some criminal rights group demands "duty to drive automatics" legislation?

n.n said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
n.n said...

Crunchy Frog:

They already have legislation empowering criminals. It's called gun control. As a proscriptive measure, it is designed to limit the ability of law-abiding members of society from defending their right to life and property.

How much more aid do criminals require? Even our legal system is in their service.

Oh, that's right, the issue is disparate impact. It is bigoted to assume that all people learned to drive a vehicle with a manual transmission. It could probably be prosecuted as a hate crime, or something.

Think of the criminal! Ban vehicles with manual transmissions. They are discriminatory.

leslyn said...

mccullough said...
"These dudes didn't have fathers to teach them to drive stick."

Most men can't drive a stick and don't want to learn.

Women, on the other hand, can do that really well. You see, we've had so much practice with concurrent small motor skills--changing the baby's diaper while paddling the spinning wheel; sewing while rocking the cradle; cooking while cracking hubby's back with our feet.

We're the ultimate multitaskers.

ampersand said...

I rented a car in Europe,knew how to drive a stick,couldn't get the car started in the lot. Lo an behold , Euro cars still had manual chokes.

baker said...

Mr Bean, age 51, has a rare kind of wisdom. I should hope that the misguided young men he encountered really do turn their lives around.

wyo sis said...

Our kids have to be able to drive a stick shift before we let them get their driver's license. My ultimate test as a stick shift driver was driving a 1972 Datsun 1200 in San Francisco. If we ever decide to go into car jacking as a family business we're set.

Broomhandle said...

I'm not the handiest guy in the world but I'm often amazed at the stuff (drive a stick, replace an outlet, change a tire, paint a room) that many young guys think is just too complex for them to attempt. As someone above noted, absent or disengaged fathers.

Broomhandle said...

A cool video game idea (just thought of this) would be one where you have to figure out how to do common household maintenance. Replace a toilet to get to the next level! One of y'all is free to put your name on it.

MadisonMan said...

Shorter leslyn: Blah blah blah.

Broomhandle said...

Leslyn,
I taught my wife and two prior girlfriends to drive a stick. Both my sisters were taught by their husbands. My Mom learned it from my Dad. Most women avoid a manual like the plague until circumstances require them to learn.

Alex said...

Why won't the media tell us the race of the perps?

Hagar said...

I once owned a 1950 Lincoln Cosmopolitan that had an automatic transmission.

Hagar said...

I once owned a 1950 Lincoln Cosmopolitan that had an automatic transmission.

rcocean said...

Sorry, but driving a stick is a pain in the ass. I haven't driven a manual transmission in 30 years, and will never drive another one.

You can believe a manual is a carjack prevention device, but I'd rather prevent my carjacks with a Glock.

Astro said...

Driving a stick shift isn't a fine motor skill, it's a gross motor skill. Nor, obviously, does it require much multitasking. The skills needed are the same as what any hunter needs.

Women prefer an automatic since it allows them to talk, text, fix their lipstick, check their lists, fiddle with the radio knobs, adjust the temp control, try to remember if it was the red pair or white pair of shoes that pinched when they wore that blue dress, plan tomorrow night's dinner, and think of a birthday gift for Aunt Mabel. If you're driving a stick shift while doing all this, you're probably gonna get the wrong color sweater for Aunt Mabel.

Astro said...

BTW, I love driving a stick shift. Drove manual transmission cars around the British Isles for a few weeks this past summer and it was a hoot. Okay, not so much fun at Heathrow, but that's just Heathrow; too many cars and lorries and not enough good signage. The road from Killarney to Kenmare in Ireland, with a stick shift, is pure joyous exhiliration.

Original Mike said...

Astro - Is that M51?

Big Mike said...

Sorry, but driving a stick is a pain in the ass.

That's not where you're supposed to put it.

Astro said...

Yes, M51. Took the photo myself.

Matt said...

Hey, this is a chance for me to tell a story from when I lived in Madison. A female friend of mine who lived in the same building as I did had a fight with her boyfriend and she was through with him. However, she had recently purchased a new car and was letting him use the old one, which she now wanted to retrieve. So, she asked me if she could drive us over to where he lived and then I would drive her old car back to her apartment.

I agreed but I informed her of a couple crucial points. One, I had never driven a stick shift and, two, I did not and had never had a license. Nevertheless, off we were to get her car.

I understood the concept of driving stick and the plan was for me to follow her back to the apartment building; however, on the way, I lost her or took a different route... for whatever reason, we were separated.

I continued on my own towards home through downtown Madison. At a stoplight, a pedestrian flagged me down. He asked where Doty Street was. He said he was from out of town and trying to get back to a friend's house. I could also tell he had been drinking a bit. I explained to him how to get there but it was obvious he was unsure he would remember, so, I told him to just hop in and I'll drive him there as it is on my way.

He hopped in and I tried to drive but the stick shift was giving me trouble. He gave me a look as though he was unsure what he just got himself into. I got the car going and crossed the next intersection to see my female friend stopped at the light from the other direction. Her mouth dropped open a touch as she saw me cross in front of her with an unknown man in the passenger seat.

I got my inebriated vagabond safely to his destination and returned the car to the building none the worst for wear and that is one of my funny memories of living in Madison.

Original Mike said...

"Yes, M51. Took the photo myself."

Good show. Scope? Camera?

Original Mike said...

"That's not where you're supposed to put it."

Yeah, that would put me off too.

Original Mike said...

I drove the delivery truck for the Madison Public Library in the 70's when I was in college. It was a panel truck (think UPS or Fed Ex delivery trucks). My route was to visit each branch library in the city over the course of an evening. It usually took me from 4 to 8pm.

One night I showed up and the regular truck was in for service. My regular truck was an automatic. The replacement truck was a rental, and it had a manual transmission. I had not yet learned how to drive a stick. I stuttered that truck across the entire city, I think I finished about 2am.

I felt really sorry for that truck.

rcocean said...

"Women prefer an automatic since it allows them to talk, text, fix their lipstick..."

Real men have drivers/chauffeurs or ride in Taxis. The more you drive, the less intelligent you are.

leslyn said...

Broomhandle said... "I'm not the handiest guy in the world but I'm often amazed at the stuff (drive a stick, replace an outlet, change a tire, paint a room) that many young guys think is just too complex for them to attempt. As someone above noted, absent or disengaged fathers."

Why does this have to be taught by fathers? I've done all of these many times. Still do. My mother taught me how to do power turns. She took my brother out driving when he was six. My dad did teach me how to drive a tractor, though.

@Madison Man: You have no sense of humor.

leslyn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
John Burgess said...

Those who drive stick, rejoice! You're now in the same category as Masters of the Buggy Whip!


F1 race cars haven't had manual transmission since 1991... they're all paddle-shifters now.

RL said...

None of this would have been a problem if the car owner had a Trunk Monkey.

tim said...

Now these fine young democrats know where this totally affable, UNARMED gentleman lives. When they do the next rational economic choice of "do we break into a house we don't know, where we might get shot, or do we hit the guy who didn't have a gun," is made, good luck Mr Bean.

Rusty said...

Driving a stick shift is a handy skill to know. I taught my oldest daughter and all she ever buys are cars with manual transmissions.
The youngest one at 20 is just showing interest in driving. Alas I'll have to borrow a car with a manual transmission to teach her.

Astro said...

The more you drive, the less intelligent you are.

Based on the chauffeured crowd in D.C., I think it's the other way around. Joe Biden used to take the train; I think that that ought to settle the argument.
I test drove a car once with paddle shifters. Seemed like a gimmicky add-on. F1 cars need to shift faster than a person's reflexes can work a clutch; in their case it makes sense.

// 10 inch Newtonian; Orion mono camera.

Rusty said...


// 10 inch Newtonian; Orion mono camera.

I don't know if I want a telescope, but I always wanted to build a lens grinding and polishing machine.

Hagar said...

Paddle-shifters are a way of manually controlling an automatic transmission. Wonder how good they are in rocking your way out of snowbank or sand-dune.
Of course, cars with paddle-shifters are not supposed to be driven into that kind of situations.

Big Mike said...

@Hagar, dunno about paddle shifters, but I have an "autostick" that lets me do clutchless manual shifting. I got caught in a snowstorm so I just put it into 2nd and left it there. Drove right past all the people with regular automatics stuck spinning their wheels thanks to their automatics.

Third Coast said...

Hagar has it right. If you live in snow country as I do, automatic trannys are useless when trying to get unstuck or when starting in icy conditions. My Jetta with stick shift and snow tires is almost the equivalent of having 4-wheel drive.

Astro said...

The car with paddle shifters that I test drove was a Nissan SUV. So yeah, not intended to be driven in the snow or sand.

lomar1234 said...

Wanna have fun? Try driving a stick in Japan (or England I suppose). Being on the right side of the car, and shifting with your left hand throws your whole brain off. Always fun coming back to US after a few years too.

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