January 9, 2013

That's a clown suit question, bro.

Did you see the comment by Patrick that Glenn linked to?
“I think it would be the ultimate act of honesty to dress the Secretary of the Treasury in a clown costume. I have no objection to that at all.”
Well that gave me an idea. What would be the value of having all 14.5 2.1 million federal government employees — starting at the top with the President — made to wear clown suits every day for, say, the next four years? Would it be worth as much as a trillion dollar coin? More? I propose we find out:

Step 1: Purchase 14.5 2.1 million clown suits through the Althouse Amazon Associates portal, natch.

Step 2: Make federal government employees wear them every day for 4 years.

Step 3: ???

Step 4: Pay off national debt!

29 comments:

mjoyce said...

How about, like the TEA party sending tea bags, we just send Turbo Tax Timmy 14.5 million "Clown Noses"?

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=clown+noses&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Aclown+noses

Tibore said...

Well... it'd have massive entertainment value. Practical value, not so much, but I've despaired of getting much in the way of practical value from the federal government.

Maguro said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chip S. said...

Step 3 is easy: Make 'em pay a buck to the Treasury every day they don't wear the clown suit.

ddh said...

Federal Government employees, including the military, total 4.4 million.

Chip S. said...

Good point, ddh. And we've got to exempt the military, for combat effectiveness reasons.

And I'm afraid that at $2K or so per day per exemption, which might at least keep us from adding to the debt, they'll all stick w/ the clown suit.

That's it, then. We're fucked.

Meade said...

Not according to what I read on TEXTThe Internet.

Chip S. said...

It would probably be simpler just to cut their pay.

Of course, that would eliminate the presumably critical feature of Step 1.

Bob said...

You come try to put that clown outfit on me and when you recover we'll talk again. Clown outfits for the political appointees is an entirely different matter.

garage mahal said...

Would be easier to just mint the god damn coin.

Bob said...

Actually, allow federal workers the opportunity to pay for dressing said political appointees in clown outfits and you might garner a windfall.

Lawyer Mom said...

Greetings, Meade.

Mandatory clown-suits for gov't employees is an excellent idea. It makes them conspicuous. Just don't tell the Journal News about your plan. They're likely to publish the names and addresses of these gov't employees. And then only non-gun owners will have the "freedom to be left alone." Err, no, that won't work either. But never mind.

In any event, bring on the clown suits. Let us all see what we're getting for our money.

Chip S. said...

What's your objection, garage? Worried about a big runup in the price of clown suits?

garage mahal said...

@Chip
I predict there would be a more stimulative effect on the economy by simply sending every federal worker a check for the amount of the clown suit. Even helicopter drops of cash straight into people's hands makes more sense than the amount of money we spend trying to create jobs.

edutcher said...

Make them wear the clown suits until we have a budget that really balances.

Good one, Meade.

NotquiteunBuckley said...

What if, and I'm not saying there are, but what if there are attractive female federal employees who want to be naked some days during the next four years?

I have been de-clothing the affluent for some time now and would hate to have to change my ways.

Lonetown said...

Hey, we're paying the bills..wear the clown suit chump and any department heads have to wear a squeaky nose.

Rusty said...

Bob said...
Actually, allow federal workers the opportunity to pay for dressing said political appointees in clown outfits and you might garner a windfall.


Watch it pal, or ya get the wacky giant shoes too.

Bill Harshaw said...

You might check your facts. There's more like 2.1 million federal civilian workers.

cubanbob said...

Forget the clown suits. Give them cash instead. Lets try this thought experiment: give every member of congress a million bucks for every ten billion in actual spending reductions. In one election cycle we will have a surplus.
Cheap money all things considered.

Mitch H. said...

Lets try this thought experiment: give every member of congress a million bucks for every ten billion in actual spending reductions.

That's dangerous. Someone would pass an amendment to strike out the reduction part in the dark of night, or just play the angles of the wording so that the spending reductions would be the typical book-keeping folderol which they're always passing as "reductions" but which never actual cut spending when it comes down to cutting cheques.

sabeth.chu said...

i think you are rather unfair and unfriendly to the clowns, poor things.

EMD said...

You need a Bryce Harper tag, madam.

Mark said...

I foresee a moment in the near future when the only reason I don't wipe my ass with a $100 bill is out of respect for Ben Franklin. (And the texture of course. But economically, it will make sense.)

Micha Elyi said...

Mandatory clown-suits for gov't employees is an excellent idea. It makes them conspicuous.
--Lawyer Mom (9:49 PM)

I'd rather those who voted for Obama be conspicuous.

 
Would be easier to just mint the god damn coin.
--garage mahal (9:46 PM)

You'd rather wear the clown suit, I guarantee it. You think it's a g.d. coin now...

 
Let's try this thought experiment: give every member of congress a million bucks for every ten billion in actual spending reductions.
--cubanbob (7:38 AM)

I had a sorta similar idea for term limits back in the 1980s. Once a Member of Congress had voted for a total of a trillion dollars in spending - outta there. Of course, back then a trillion dollar limit would'a kept even an imprudent member in office for a lot longer than a few months.

egoist said...

They would simply respond by outlawing clown suits (and clowns).

Diane Wilson said...

When clown suits are outlawed, only outlaws will have clown suits.

drunkdebunker said...

The Underpants Gnomes would be naturals as business consultants on your debt reduction plan...

drunkdebunker said...

The Underpants Gnomes would be naturals as business consultants on your debt reduction plan...