April 15, 2012

"Once upon a time there was a little red hen named Kathleen."

Writes Meade:
She lived in a party of Democrats with a cat named Tom and others and they all lived in a pretty little state which the little red hen Kathleen liked to keep clean and tidy and unionized. The little red hen Kathleen worked hard. The cat Tom liked to sleep in the sun in Milwaukee.

One day the little red hen Kathleen was working in the garden when she found a grain of discontent.

"Who will help me nurture this grain of discontent?" she asked.

"Not I," purred the cat Tom from his sunny patch in Milwaukee.



So the little red hen Kathleen hoed and watered and fed the grain of discontent all by herself.

During the summer the grain of discontent grew. First it grew into a tall stalk, then it ripened in the sun until it had turned a lovely golden color. Soon the little red hen Kathleen saw that the discontent was ready for reaping.

"Who will help me reap this discontent?" asked the little red hen Kathleen.

"Not I," purred the cat Tom from his sunny patch in Milwaukee.

"Very well then, I will reap it myself," said the little red hen Kathleen. Carefully she counted signatures, made pledges to union bosses, and collected all the petitions of discontent.

"Who will take this bushel of discontent to the unionized mill so that it can be ground into recall election flour?" asked the little red hen Kathleen.

"Not I," purred the cat Tom from his sunny patch in Milwaukee.

So the little red hen Kathleen took the discontent to the unionized mill herself, and asked the union bosses there if they would be so kind as to grind it into political power flour.  Deals were discussed, quids were proed for quo's, pledges and promises were made.

In time the union bosses sent a little bag of political power flour down to the party where the little red hen Kathleen lived with the cat Tom and others.

"Who will help me to make this political power flour into governor bread?" asked the little red hen Kathleen.

"Not I," purred the cat Tom from his sunny patch in Milwaukee.

"Very well," said the little red hen Kathleen. "I shall make the governor bread myself." She went into her neat little unionized kitchen. She mixed a yeasty dough, kneaded it, set it to uprise, and put it in the hot oven.

Soon there was a lovely smell of hot fresh governor bread. It filled all the corners of the house and wafted out into the garden. The cat Tom came into the kitchen from his sunny patch in Milwaukee.  When the little red hen Kathleen opened the oven door the dough had risen up and had turned into the nicest, most delicious looking loaf of governor bread either of them had ever seen.

"Who is going to eat this governor bread?" asked the little red hen Kathleen.

"I will," purred the cat Tom.

"Oh no, you won't," said the little red hen Kathleen. "I nurtured the seed of discontent, I reaped it and took it to the unionized mill to be made into political flour, and I made the governor bread all by myself (after deals were discussed, quids were proed for quos, and pledges and promises were made). I shall now enjoy the governor bread all by myself."

"Not so fast," said three big old Democratic party race horses, standing at stud — horse Kohl, horse Obey, and horse Erpenbach. "WE are the wise male noble steeds of the party. Behold our reservoirs of testosterone and wisdom.  WE shall decide who gets to enjoy the governor bread."

And with that the little red hen Kathleen was told to go back to her unionized kitchen and the cat Tom shared the bread with his friend, the snake Rahm from Illinois.

64 comments:

Saint Croix said...

that's awesome

David said...

Meade, are you saying Falk is a communist? Shame, shame, shame.

traditionalguy said...

That's really talented Meade.

She "set the dough to uprise". Hilarious.

That would make a great ad spot pretending to support Falk. All you would need is to set up a Meade PAC and call the Kochs for a donation.

MadisonMan said...

I'm not sure you can accurately claim that Barrett has been doing nothing but sleeping and purring.

Ron said...

setting the dough to uprise is the yeast he can do!

EDH said...

How central was Falk in organizing the original recall petition?

Was she really that pivotal in "nurturing that grain of discontent", or did she simply happen upon the waves of grain after they had already been planted and grown?

The Godfather said...

Isn't this the same story as Gene McCarthy and Bobby Kennedy in 1968?

caseym54 said...

And Kathleen, seeing for the first time the fundamental error of her lifelong ideology, realized that one truly should be able to profit from the fruits of one's own labors, that redistribution was evil and that self-appointed "sharing" committees would always be self-werving, changed sides.

Kirk Parker said...

Caseym54,

Now we get to the real fantasy part.

Lem said...

That was pretty good Meade.. Good enough for an Oped.

imho.

edutcher said...

He forgot the part about the wise Claybank mare named Ann and the tech-savvy iron gray stallion Meade who warned the whole farm about how crooked it all was.

Kit said...

Was she really that pivotal in "nurturing that grain of discontent", or did she simply happen upon the waves of grain after they had already been planted and grown?

No, then yes. Though her supporters would say otherwise. As for Kohl, Obey and Erpenbach...they aren't deciding anything. They just happen to know the 'union kitchen' is a thing of the past. And so it goes...

AJ Lynch said...

Very very excellent Meade.

Coincidentally, here in PA, the DEM primary for AG involves a woman named Kathleen, an experienced prosecutor, who has gottent very few party endorsements because they mahofs are supporting Patrick Murphy, who has no experience as a prosecutor, but he is a former Congress critter and Obama supporter & Rendell butt muncher

Deekaman said...

"So the little red hen Kathleen hoed and watered and fed the grain of discontent all by herself."

So you are saying Kathleen Falk is a "ho"?

;-)

LarryK said...

Part II of The Fable of the Little Red Hen:

And the cat Tom and the snake Rahm did eat up all the governor bread, leaving nothing but crumbs on the table for the little red hen Kathleen to clean.
But the grain of disconnect had driven deep roots into the soil, and in spring there was a new shoot. Unlike like last year’s harvest, this stalk had split into two, with one half twisting tightly around the other in order to soak up all that was nurturing the fledgling grain.
The unionized mill had also stockpiled large quantities of political power flour and were determined that the little red hen have her own governor’s bread to eat.
The great steeds Kohl, Obey and Erpenbach looked on in horror, for they knew political power flour was scarce and must be conserved for autumn, when the winds turn cold and the great show horse Obama must be sated. All remembered what a glorious thoroughbred Obama had been four years before, when the snake Rahm rode him to victory, but his appetite was now even more ravenous. The steeds knew that political power flour should not be wasted on little red hens, and they reminded the unionized mill where their bread was buttered.
A great row ensued in the barnyard, but - as I Recall - all the little red hen's chickens came home to roost on June 5th.

Mark O said...

But, does Mead know that girl from Nantucket?

God said...

The One True God had prepared himself to intervene, not taking a liking to either the cat nor the chicken nor the unions. Alas, he was CENSORED from doing so... because, apparently, Meade and Althouse love to hit the delete button more than they love the freedom of speech. And so the story went as Meade tells...

The moral: Don't CENSOR, lest you wake up one morning and find that the Unions have taken over. Serves you Right! ...or maybe it serves you Left! Who knows?

Ron said...

There was a little red hen named Kathleen,
Who personally knew Orson Bean.
She used Aquasheen,
And now vents her spleen,
On forums where her scribblings are widely seen...

Chip Ahoy said...

My favorite part was the cat in the sun who went to a bakery and ate some bread.

James Pawlak said...

The little red hen is not smart/cunning/evil enough to be a communist.

Freeman Hunt said...

Heh heh heh.

Peano said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
AJ Lynch said...

Althouse - you need a stalker's wall of infamy so everyone knows folks like Mary, Peano and Jay Retread, etc comment here only because they hate you & Meade for being happy & contented.

Michael K said...

For a minute, I thought you were repeating William Blake's "A Poison Tree."

God said...

Althouse:

At some point, you decided to become a partisan. You have, since then, failed to appreciate the rationale and motivation of those who oppose Scott Walker. You don't expend even minimal time or energy in trying to understand where they are coming from. You have been encouraged in this partisan isolation by your new husbandsman.

You consciously chose to go down this road. You are bright and attractive and well-fed and you should have known what you were getting yourself into. You could have taken a moment to appreciate the ideas of those in apparent opposition, but you haven't, at least not so far.

And so now you are reduced to the patheticness of reproducing the chicken fables of Mr. Gardener on your blog. A good fucking place to be, ain't it, Madam Professor? Is this what you imagined your life would amount to?

Oh such respect! Such respect that I once had for you! And it was lost not so long ago! And now, I realize, that respect was so wasted! So very wasted!

wyo sis said...

Meade---you rock! Save that and others and publish them. I'll buy copies for all my friends. Seed money coming in the form of Amazon orders through Althouse.

m stone said...

You have, since then, failed to appreciate the rationale and motivation of those who oppose Scott Walker.

And that would be?

I've been waiting three months for any answer.

LarryK said...

Who would have guessed that God was such an elitist. Jesus in particular seemed to enjoy the company of common folk, not to mention gardens.

gadfly said...

Hmmm . . . One would think that God, herself would choose to enlighten his minions as to the "rationale and motivation of those who oppose Scott Walker" - especially if it is not lock-step Marxism.

kurt mueller said...

Peano -- Althouse appears to know her audience and edits accordingly. If you didn't do the same, you were probably a shitty editor and an even worse business man.

Sam said...

In reference to God said:

Wow a Sermon on the Mount!

Mount Horeb, Wisconsin that is...

galdosiana said...

Meade, this is truly awesome.

Mary Beth said...

Power flour!

Now I have a craving for fresh bread, hot out of the oven, with melting butter and maybe a little honey or raspberry jam. Or just plain.

Carl Vero said...

The best political satire I've seen the last couple of years; scoffing style, flabbergasting form, coaxing content.

Seven Machos said...

Shorter God:

You! A law professor! Reproducing the chicken fables!

Lem said...

That was good seven.

Jon Burack said...

God?

"patheticness"?

God definitely needs an editor. Perhaps Peano wants the job.

Pogo said...

I doubt that's really God.
Hard to believe God would be such a pretentious and boring dick. Plus He looks to much like Malkovich in need of an enema when everyone knows that God has excellent bowel habits.

Meade's story is a fine critique. Wish I'd written it.

Jason said...

You have, since then, failed to appreciate the rationale and motivation of those who oppose Scott Walker. You don't expend even minimal time or energy in trying to understand where they are coming from.

I have yet to receive one rational explanation from a liberal as to why Scott Walker should be recalled, other than just sheer hatred.

Seven Machos said...

Walker's sin is doing what Mayor Rahm is doing here in Chicago but not having the common decency to be a Democrat doing it.

That's why the fable's ending is so wonderful.

eric said...

The same thing happened in the California recall election of Governor Davis. Congressman Daryl Issa did all the work for the recall and then when Arnie got in the race, Issa dropped out and cried.

Yes, he actually cried.

It was pathetic. And we ended up with Arnie for Governor.

Will the same thing happen to Wisconsin? I hope you don't all end up with an Arnie for Governor.

Chip Ahoy said...

Fable? That's not a fable. That's a parable!

[Don Juan told his other apprentices that Castaneda was an idiot but they were still very surprised when they finally met that he was that thick and still managed to get on.]

Lawyer Mom said...

Meade, that was lovely. And came just when I needed a tale of leverage for my young son.

Also? Thanks for not defining quid pro quo, she said, in a nod toward Jay Cost at the Weekly Standard.

Methadras said...

David said...

Meade, are you saying Falk is a communist? Shame, shame, shame.


If the hammer of kneeding and the sickle that brings down the wheat stalk to make the power flour fit.

Methadras said...

I was just having a similar discussion with my wife today about the lie of sharing. We've been inculcated since very small children that sharing is what we should all do when someone else covets what we are already playing with or have. I say to that bullshit. If I was a 5 year old in kindergarten and I could articulate my anti-sharing sentiment against another kid who wanted to play with my toy too. It would have been, "Bitch, wait your fucking turn until I'm done with it. Then it's all yours." Only to be assaulted by the teacher who would tell me to that I should be nice and share (who I would project as being Urkel talking about redistribution of toy time) and I would give him the finger.

Sharing is a lie. A leftard tool to inculcate you to accept wealth redistribution without a fight. Nope, not from me.

ignatzk said...

Just remember, for President of the United States, the Red Hen endorsed the Socialist Seagull, Howard Dean.

Bruce Hayden said...

The same thing happened in the California recall election of Governor Davis. Congressman Daryl Issa did all the work for the recall and then when Arnie got in the race, Issa dropped out and cried.

Had forgotten that that was Rep. Issa. In the end, I think that we are probably better off that it went that way. The Governator was probably about as successful as a Republican could have been in that state, with such strong Democratic majorities in the legislature. And, Rep. Issa is one of the most effective committee chairs in the House right now. If he had been governor, would Holder be in the hot seat for Fast and Furious, NBP dismissals, etc.? Might SOPA have passed the House? He has his fingers in a lot of things, and I think most of it is for the good of the country. Of course, seeking out corruption and mis-governance in the federal government under Obama is a target rich environment right now, but...

Bruce Hayden said...

I thought that Meade's little story here was absolutely great. My guess is that enjoyment of it will ultimately break down roughly along ideological lines. Those of us who think that Democratic politicians, in general, are most often venal and corrupt will enjoy it, while those who think them angels fighting the black cloud of conservatism will not.

Jay said...

At some point, you decided to become a partisan. You have, since then, failed to appreciate the rationale and motivation of those who oppose Scott Walker.

The entire reason for this recall is because those receiving public monies (more than their contribution and capabilities dictate) want to continue receiving said monies in greater percentages.

It isn't complicated.

gerry said...

Excellent work, Meade.

And pay no attention to "God". The Democrats don't.

purplepenquin said...

The entire reason for this recall is because those receiving public monies (more than their contribution and capabilities dictate) want to continue receiving said monies in greater percentages.

Not true at all. As I've pointed out before, it ain't about pay for me and my co-workers.

The fact that so many of ya'll have to create strawman to argue against instead of discussing the actual issues that have been raised speaks volumes....

LarryK said...

Arrggh...serious typo in my elaboration of Meade's brilliant work. Of course it's the grain of discontent, not disconnect - must have been a Freudian slip - plus I sometimes hate typing in this little comment box.

Also agree that 'parable' is better than 'fable,' since it teaches a lesson and doesn't simply entertain.

Other than that, though, Part II was pleasantly mediocre.

Nathan Alexander said...

@PP,
1) I read your first article. It seemed a distinction without a difference. It still is about the money, even though you claim it is due to work hazards. You were so vague about those hazards and the job you have that it really undermined your point.
2) Even if it isn't about the pay for you, how can you claim to know the motivations of all Union workers?
3) (and most important) Your explanation still doesn't even come close to overcoming objective evidence that it is merely about maintaining Union ability to collude w/ govt (when liberals are in power) to fleece taxpayers and prevent them from being able to stop it.

The taxpayers used their votes in a fair, democratic system to elect someone who stop the theft for them. You are participating in an all-out, no-holds-barred, end-justifies-the-means attempt to overturn that democratically-valid election. For your own selfish benefit.

Evil.

Curious George said...

"purplepenquin said...
The entire reason for this recall is because those receiving public monies (more than their contribution and capabilities dictate) want to continue receiving said monies in greater percentages.

Not true at all. As I've pointed out before, it ain't about pay for me and my co-workers.

The fact that so many of ya'll have to create strawman to argue against instead of discussing the actual issues that have been raised speaks volumes...."

Same old same old. Act 10 has a petition process for workplace safety...which you ignore. Your concerns are at bet theoretical. That said, even if we take your bullshit as fact, it changes nothing. The recall is exactly about selfish public workers and the union-Democratic party cabal.

jeff said...

"When I was a newspaper editor, there was always the occasional reporter who thought he could "write funny." He would draft a piece and submit it for the editorial page.

Like any responsible editor, I would reject it, sparing readers a dose of excruciating drivel and sparing the reporter from embarrassing himself in print."

Since most like the story, I was temporarily confused by the part about embarrassing himself in print part. But then I remembered that editors do like to reject conservative viewpoints, in the fear that others might learn something. Perhaps if he wrote another parable with the opposing viewpoint, suddenly it would become printable in the arbitrator of all that is fit's viewpoint.

Peano said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Peano said...
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Meade said...

Hey, thanks everyone for all the comments! - especially LarryK, for your Part II contribution - well done, my friend. Bread for you!

And Ron, Mr. Ahoy, Macho Sevens, for making me laugh out loud.

Even the officious intermeddler Peano and so-called "God" - thanks! As usual, your meddling officious preening and pompous intermeddling officiousness amuses the hell out of me.

Oh, and InstaPundit, if you're peeking back, thanks for the link/notice!

SDN said...

"Hard to believe God would be such a pretentious and boring dick."

Well, Pogo, he is said to be an Englishman....

SDN said...

Peano, feel free to subtract yourself from the audience. You won't be missed.

The Hilltop View of Morris County said...

A parable which teaches a lesson.
It was not written to be funny.

Oh, and Meade, you must have been
successful in the teaching because the Left is throwing everything including the kitchen sink at the wall to see what sticks.
They have no argument.

chickenlittle said...

Let your wingers do the falking.

Peano said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Meade said...

Don't worry, Pea. No, it won't take long to write. It will be a short story and, of course, it will be all about you.