September 2, 2011

The anguish of coffee.



ADDED: Oh, [expletive deleted] I meant to put up the non-remix:



It's like... do you want caffeinated or decaffeinated.

BONUS: A poll:

Are these old commercials sexist?
Yes. That's what we were taught in school.
Yes. That's why they're so hilarious.
Yes. And wipe that smirk off your face.
No. It's a comic exaggeration that everyone at the time got.
No. "Sexist" is just a word that's supposed to make us feel sensitive about meaningless crap.
No. It's a simple truth that women have trouble making decent coffee.
  
pollcode.com free polls 

64 comments:

Tyrone Slothrop said...

I pine for those days, when men were men and coffee was beep.

Ron said...

Ah, the "C" word again...

Chip S. said...

Apparently great strides have been made in feminine hygiene since those days--much to the dismay of ironrailsweights.

Tyrone Slothrop said...

I think the observations of those husbands were apposite. I don't recall seeing any other method of making coffee than in a percolator until the seventies. A percolator! Yecch!

Chip S. said...

Yes, it's great that so many women now are skilled in the French Press method.

Pogo said...

If you see clouds there, try an antifungal.

Pogo said...

Commercials have really come a long way.

Before, they ruthlessly belittled women. Now they ruthlessly belittle men.

Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose.

Chip S. said...

Oh, [expletive deleted] I meant to put up the non-remix:

What fun is that one?

Chip S. said...

And since when do you delete expletives?

Are you trying to woo Apfelkuchen back?

LordSomber said...

Coffee Jerk 2011:

http://www.quickmeme.com/Hipster-Barista/?upcoming

Ann Althouse said...

"Yes, it's great that so many women now are skilled in the French Press method."

And they're much better at making coffee too.

Pogo said...

"Oh, [expletive deleted] I"

Whuh?
Is there an 18½ minute gap in that clip?

Quayle said...

Ah - it's Friday.

Ann is doing her Jack Benny schtick.

Chip S. said...

And they're much better at making coffee too.

Good point.

Some of my favorite baristas are women.

edutcher said...

What Pogo said.

Women have no problem acting that way with men. And didn't back then, either.

It's as if they think they're superior.

(that'll be the day)

traditionalguy said...

That extra jolt from an instant coffee maker/dispenser in the coin operated snack area at 3:00 AM is the bitterness.

It works like smelling salts works. Then you can make it till sunrise and drive out your shift that ends at 5:00.

If you want perfection, go to Caribou.

Lem said...

This the best coffee maker on the planet.

dbp said...

One can make decent coffee in a percolator and it isn't even hard. But it is also not automatic and so lack of attention can lead to burnt tasting coffee. Also, crappy beans will give much the same flavor as good beans poorly brewed.

Tyrone Slothrop said...

I used to service vending machines. The most amazing one made each cup form fresh ground coffee. It measured the coffee into a filter, forced boiling water through it, then dumped and rinsed the filter. Amazing. and the coffee was not at all beep. It was actually pretty non-beep.

Ann Althouse said...

"This the best coffee maker on the planet."

An old sock works well too.

Lem said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
bagoh20 said...

Maybe I'm too young, but I had no idea women could make coffee? Those must have been good times.

ricpic said...

There was a time * sigh * when women at least tried to be obliging. Now known as OPPRESSION.

Tyrone Slothrop said...

One fishing boat skipper I had made coffee by dumping the grounds into boiling water, then added a pinch of salt and an eggshell to settle the grounds. It was up to us individually to strain it, but it was OK because we all had moustaches.

rcocean said...

"One can make decent coffee in a percolator and it isn't even hard. But it is also not automatic and so lack of attention can lead to burnt tasting coffee."

Exactly. You have to buy good beans, grind them, measure the right amount, and watch it closely.

And where was Mrs. Olsen?

rhhardin said...

It's selling coffee to women, not a message to men.

The truth would be that you'll have a happy marriage if you show your man that you're pleased with him.

The anguish would be that the display won't work because of a product mispurchase.

The truth is still true. The displacement onto a product is today's joke.

At the time the commercials were just annoying.

Ring around the collar was the prototype.

None of it would work on women into nagging in any case. They don't display being pleased at any time.

rhhardin said...

Today is so hot that I'm stirring instant coffee into cold water.

My father claims to have invented iced coffee. For many years the drink was unknown and unthinkable in parts of the country but available in NYC, probably owing to my father, who asked for it a lot.

The finer restaurants made the coffee a little stronger to make up for the ice.

rhhardin said...

If you want a treat, stir instant coffee into a glass of milk.

Today's instants dissolve quickly; it used to be that you had to sink and spoon-squash the stuff against the glass side.

dbp said...

There was a sitcom back in the mid 90's starring Rob Schneider. In one scene, he wanted to make coffee but was out of paper filters. So he ended up using his underwear.

He was contemplating drinking it when the hot neighbor woman came over and helped herself to a cup. "Mmn", she said "It tastes, nutty".

rhhardin said...

Mike Munger at econtalk.org advises not tipping the baristas. They just use the money for more nose rings.

Probably this podcast, on fair trade coffee.

dbp said...

If you like sweet milky iced coffee, just take left-over brewed coffee, stir-in a spoon of sweetened condensed milk and then add ice cubes.

traditionalguy said...

The wives sensitivity to please their men is nostalgic.

But I note that back in the 50s no husbands wore shorts.

So what do Mormon wives do since Mormons can't drink caffeine. Do they select one wife who french presses the the decaf for everyone?

Carol_Herman said...

Snow Crop!

Back in the 1950's women didn't "make" coffee. They stirred shit into boiling water.

My grandma perked hers. She ground her own beans. (But she added chickory). Which my mom said was "cheap."

Anyway, one of those stories from before I was born. My grandma went to Boston. To visit her grandchildren. And, my mom was "put in charge" of making grandpa's coffee. She thought she wouldn't add the chickory.

My grandpa said my mom's version was the pits.

Perking coffee, by the way, is probably still among the best methods.

But I use Chemex. Which I learned to do from my aunt.

Never particularly cared for the "drip through" pots.

That's very much what's been used in office coffee for ages.

What's interesting about the commericials worth noticing, though?

"Stay at home" women never got respected.

And, another thing. You couldn't get me to give Starbucks $4 bucks for a cup of coffee!

Different methods for different folk. You can "perk" in a Faberware, electronically. And, not burn down the house.

I'd probably use a Faberware, if I didn't use my Chemex. I boil my water in an electric pot.

Carol_Herman said...

A container of Coolwhip in the fridge. And, a dollop on top of my coffee mug. (Yeah. One cat wants some.)

I had to do something about the heavy cream ... because heavy cream put on weight I couldn't take off.)

David said...

Sometimes a cup of coffee is just a cup of coffee, but maybe those guys were complaining about something else.

Methadras said...

Professor, you need to add one more opinion selection:

US Coffee, for decades, sucked no matter how it was made.

Fact of the matter is, is that for nearly a century US coffee has been roasted to the level of being burned and it was commercialized by companies like Folgers for nearly that long, that this is the way coffee is supposed to be. It isn't. I normally hate coffee, but when you drink coffee that is roasted and brewed properly it indeed is a wonderful thing.

chickenlittle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Fr Martin Fox said...

Speaking of sexist ads...

How about the Yoplait ads, where the woman is on the phone, the husband hears her talking about how good the yoghurt is, and he looks at it, and she turns and reprimands him for OPENING HIS OWN FRIDGE.

I'd like to see a remix of that ad, where he doesn't act like a beaten dog.

Fr Martin Fox said...

I love Starbucks, either there or at home; love the roast.

I think Panera has pretty good coffee.

McDonalds is pretty good, Tim Hortons is pretty good too.

Most restaurants, especially breakfast places, have terrible coffee in my opinion; brewed too weak, and with stale coffee.

Ann Althouse said...

"If you want a treat, stir instant coffee into a glass of milk. Today's instants dissolve quickly; it used to be that you had to sink and spoon-squash the stuff against the glass side."

That was my breakfast year 'round for years and years until Meade showed up.

swag said...

How much mileage can you get out of reposting 1950s coffee commercials?

Apparently years worth. Please make it stop so we all can return to this millennium, please.

xnar said...

Ms. Olson would slap some sense into those boys. Show them some mountain grown discipline, she would.

chickenlittle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Harsh Pencil said...

This blog turned me onto aeropress. I'm an evangelist for it now.

Carol_Herman said...

We're in the bathroom in one scene. It's not even a "master" bathroom ... And, the guy is wearing an undershirt. Then, along came Marlon Brando. (Or was it Clark Gable?) And, undershirts went out of business.

Along with freeze dried coffee. Or whatever that crap was that you dissolved in boiling water.

It should be noted that in those days instant coffee, indeed, tasted like crap.

Truth in advertising is no more.

PatCA said...

And thus Starbucks was born.

Dustin said...

Carol, I wear an undershirt. I can't imagine being comfortable without one, either.

I didn't realize it was considered out of style, but guys who do not wear one should really consider trying it. V-neck or tank if you don't want the shirt to be seen (you don't).

Fr Martin Fox, I agree McDonalds's coffee is pretty good. Their food is quite awful... but the coffee is OK 90% of the time. Pray you don't find that 10%.

rcommal said...

All this, really, over some syndrome called "coffee anguish"? WTF?

Making coffee ain't that hard. It doesn't require much special of anything to know how to make it at least eight different ways to/from Sunday, even before taking into account different raw materials just in terms of the coffee itself.

This is silly nonpareil, even in terms of silliness, and I'm pretty sure that there are plenty of long-time dead folks--who knew how to brew in what ever fashion necessary and adjusted accordingly, given circumstances--who'd be laughing their asses off over this particular brand of weak-brew, whining silliness.

rcommal said...

There was a time * sigh * when women at least tried to be obliging. Now known as OPPRESSION.

Oh, bullshit. We're talking about coffee-making, here. I made it in these here parts at least three different ways, specifically to order, this very week. It was not oppressive. What I find oppressive are guys like YOU, ricpic, who are so determined to embrace the small, darkest parts of a forest that they'd cut down pleasing trees before they'd let go of the dense thicket that permits them to maintain distance. Worse, guys like you would raze whole forests of pleasing trees rather than let go of your attachment to the small, darkest parts--because, over time, that's become easier for you than taking yourself to task in the same ways that you take [the] others to task.

Dustin said...

Plenty of women out there would love a life where they dote upon their breadwinning man, happily making home for him.

If that's what you want, go for it. Women don't have to live that way if they don't want, and frankly life is much easier if both members of the couple make money, but it's hardly impossible to choose to live life that way. And there's nothing wrong with it, either.

Just as there's nothing fundamentally wrong with a man keeping home and doting on the lady of the house. Though frankly it looks pretty bad if he's young.

rcommal said...

The likes of ricpic are, metaphorically speaking, snail-darter lovers: intensely focused at the expense of all other (larger) things.

AllenS said...

I received a big percolator type coffee pot in 1970. Sometime in the early 1980's the percolator apparatus wore out, so I would put in the water, wait until it started to boil, then add 4 big tablespoons of coffee into the water. A couple of minutes later, I would shut off the heat, and add 1 cup of cold water on top, and the grounds would immediately go to the bottom. Good coffee.

Sometime in the 90's, I bought a Mr. Coffee with a timer. Worked out great because I could set it up the night before and when I got up a 3:30 am, the coffee would be ready to drink, then off to the barn at 4:00. Then off to the factory job around 5:25.

I now drink 4 cups of tea from water boiled in a teapot. I add honey.

I can hardly wait until I'm ten years older.

The Crack Emcee said...

I drink lots of coffee I make myself and abuse women online.

Good times.

KenK said...

My how times have changed. Nowadays these jerks would end up with pot of coffee grounds dumped on their heads. Or worse.

Trooper York said...

My wife has never made a pot of coffee more than two or three times since we were married. Or cooked for that matter.

Coffee is too important to be left in the hands of women.

Phil 3:14 said...

bad tasting coffee? I thought thats what cigarettes are for.

TheLastBrainLeft said...

Why do people drink Starbucks coffee? Do they not understand that they burn the beans and that coffee isn't supposed to taste like that. The cost doesn't bother me as much, if the coffee was actually good I'd pay that price. But it's god awful. And Americans continue buying it. What the hell?

Trooper York said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Trooper York said...

Most people have no idea what a great cup of coffee tastes like. They are too busy posing in Starbucks to give a shit about the taste since they load it up with sugar and cream and hazelnut spunk and who knows what.

When they were filming the Quiet Man in Ireland...Ward Bond was going on and on about how he was losing weight because he was putting a new artifical sugar subsititute in his coffee. He turns to the Duke and says "You should try it and not put all that sugar in your coffee." The Duke looked at him and shook his head and said "I don't put anyting in my coffee. That's what a man does."

The Duke would have pissed on Starbucks.

E.M. Davis said...

US Coffee, for decades, sucked no matter how it was made.


The tea still does. Recently went to Dublin and London. Mmmm ... tea.


WV: upshted ... I upshted the creek and found I didn't have a paddle?

Fred4Pres said...

If you screw up the coffee you deserve to be chastised. Regardless of sex/gender of the culprit.

Aaron said...

To continue the sexist line of thinking, its pretty clear that men make the best coffee.

Indeed, this is religiously mandated.

After all, it says in the Bible:

He brews.

AllenS said...

If you can't make a good cup of coffee over a camp fire, then you totally suck.

A good man should be able to make a good cup of coffee using only his Army helmet.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

After reading (WSJ I believe) the amount of crap that is allowed to be in your ground coffee I always buy beans and grind them myself.

I'm serious. Your ground coffee Mountain Grown or not can contain ground up wasps, insect parts, rodent droppings, rocks and sticks. Nom Nom NOT!

We use a Cuisenart machine. This one has lasted for 6 years and I love it.

Program the coffee at night and wake up to the smell of fresh CLEAN coffee. A little half and half or whipping cream and we are good to go.

Those old commercials are a crack up where the women are just incompetent. Now we treat the men like mental midgets. Or have the E trade baby who treats everyone like morons.