July 20, 2011

"The 5 Most Annoying Food/Drink Presentations."

Per Zagat:
1. Wine served in non-wine glasses...

2. Cold bread in a brown paper sack...

3. Drinks served in mason jars...

4. Dishes served on wooden boards...

5. Meat dishes with head/feet still attached: We're down with the whole nose-to-tail trend thing and all, but not all of us love to see our dinner staring back at us. Chickens served with the head and feet still attached, whole pig leg with the hoof intact – while some would argue the chef is "honoring the whole animal," in most cases it's being used as a gimmick to lure in a certain set of foodies – the annoying kind that thinks that reading Anthony Bourdain books obsessively makes you an expert on food. Hold the snouts, please.
Ha ha. Reminds me of those old furs women used to wear to church in the 1950s. The mink's heads were fitted with mouth-clips that the lady attached to the hind end of the mink, and the little legs just dangled. Hey! You can buy one... cheap!

But back to food... I'm sure you can think of some more annoying ways to serve food and drink. I remember when we were little — again, I'm talking about the 1950s — this girl had a KoolAid stand and, having run out of cups, she said: "Cup your hands!" I'd like to see a restaurant today attempt to palm that off as a hipster presentation.

ADDED: Irene (the commenter) emails: "Your post made me laugh, especially since I had just finished uploading the attached photo (from Easter, 1963) to my Facebook page! That thing is in my closet."


120 comments:

drozz said...

i love drinks in mason jars.

ex-madtown girl said...

I've always found hard, unsliced hunks of bread to be annoying, however good it may taste. I'll take mine freshly sliced, thanks (with spreadable butter - none of those ice cold rock pats!).

chickenlittle said...

I don't get her fetish concerning bread in brown paper. In Switzerland and Germany loaves were sold in color-coded paper wrappers.

Does she have something against brown as a color?

She actually sounds like an old fussbudget.

SteveR said...

If the food and service are good, much can be forgiven. At least for me. Yeah I don't like those diamond hard butter pats either

AllenS said...

Man, I'm hungry. Food would look good to me right now, even if it was served on a mess kit.

Michael K said...

I was in college in the 50s and my mother had a mink stole with heads and eyes.

Watch out for drinks in mason jars. One of the few times in my life I was drunk was with wine in mason jars that the host kept filling when I wasn't looking.

MaggotAtBroad&Wall said...

Steak and tuna are the only dishes I've sampled served tartare. I'm no fan of either.

And if the tartare dish costs more than the cooked alternative, it's an even bigger insult.

traditionalguy said...

Only eat at good French restaurants.

Then you will always enjoy the food and the presentation.

Many Argentine style beef houses serve the steaks on thick hot rocks that keep it sizzling hot for 20 minutes. Talk about watching out for the Hot plates.

I'm not sure how well they wash these rocks...but I suppose that the germs would all be killed by the heat.

pm317 said...

she said: "Cup your hands!"

I literally laughed out loud. Funny!

Irene said...

We've served some nice appetizers on "mid-century modern" Dansk teak boards.

I like those boards.

Bruce Hayden said...

5. Meat dishes with head/feet still attached.

Reminds me a bit of my fraternity days. We had "Derby Days", and one of the events was a greased pig chase/capture. The justification was somewhat akin to wet T-shirt contests. In any case, one of the guys raised the pig the last couple of weeks and got attached. Oh well.

We had a banquet the last night, where everyone dressed up a bit. And, the pig was the highlight of the dinner, served up complete. Well, we had a pair of brothers from LA, who were, among other things, hunters. One of them popped out one of the eyes and ate it, in front of all of our dressed up dates. Some of the women freaked. Turns out though, that the pig wasn't exactly complete - the cook had actually replaced the eyes with something a bit more mundane and edible. Not that these guys probably wouldn't have eaten the eyes....

These guys did liven up the house. When I was a pledge, they had us throw rocks under the eves of the nursery next door to flush out the pigeons. They were on the roof of our house with their shotguns, and were surprisingly successful - for downtown Colorado Springs. They never were caught, despite the CS PD showing up on multiple occasions in response to calls about guns being discharged within the city limits.

grgeil said...

Table clutter. There is a trend toward over-cluttering the table with details of the organic, sustainable, locally grown food so that the patron knows what a superior person he is for dining there.

ricpic said...

It was wall to wall head and feet mink stoles in the lobbies of the Fountainebleau and Eden Roc hotels in Miami Beach back in the fifties. It was all very vulgar and very wonderful before the puritanical PC enforcers came.

timmaguire42 said...

Reminds me of the final scene of A Christmas Story, "No, it's fine, it's just...well, it's smiling at us!"

pm317 said...

she said: "Cup your hands!"

Growing up in India, I have seen mothers/aunts do this with children, especially on a moonlit night. They would gather the children, mix a rice dish and take handfuls of it and put it in each child's hand and repeat.. Saved time on serving and washing dishes. Yes, we eat food with our right hand there.

edutcher said...

One of The Blonde's favorite places to eat serves your drink (non-alcoholic) in Mason jars.

A drink "presentation" that was more painful than annoying was on a snorkel boat on St Thomas where the punch was either alcoholic or non. The color of the pitcher was the indicator. The girl who was pouring forgot which color was which and gave The Blonde a lovely pancreatitis attack for the evening.

PS Irene, that photo makes you look like you could have played Margaret in Dennis The Menace.

You really hated that outfit.

Irene said...

edutcher, I was a menace; I still am.

I *loved* the outfit. I was making my "grownup face." I would curl up my nose and purse my lips because I tought that expression made me look like a lady. There are dozens of family photos of me with that same expression.

Irene said...

tought=thought

TosaGuy said...

speaking of foodies. I was in Madison today and the hunger strike guy is still fat.

KLDAVIS said...

Re: "Cup your hands" and hipsters...

Maria Bamford had a funny bit on the Comedians of Comedy tour about a holier-than-thou coffee shop patron that used this idea to hilarious ends. There's a slightly less funny version on her site as part of a bit called 'Democratic Donut Shop'.

"Is this fresh? Is this made from Colombian Arabica and harvested by a former Argentinian nun who is now a NYC Agnostic cop? OK.OK... Hm. Well, great. OK, I also need a half-ramekin of Southwestern vinaigrette and then 7 ounces of fresh raspberries with my scone heated and sliced and given to me in an attitude of an endangered hippo. And no! Not on a plate! Pour it into my hands!"

Bob Ellison said...

1. Wine served in non-wine glasses...

I do that. Stems break. Aeration does not require pumpkin-sized bowls. Small glasses that sit neatly have many advantages.

2. Cold bread in a brown paper sack...

Properly baked bread ordinarily must decline to nearly room temperature before cutting, and brown paper sacks are good at maintaining proper temperature and humidity.

3. Drinks served in mason jars

OK, they're ugly, but if you're still dining in places this stupid-trendy, you need to get out more.

4. Dishes served on wooden boards...

More sanitary, actually, than most surfaces. And "regular old plates" are impressive heat sinks. Wood is better for cutting, maintaining desired temperature, and not clanking up the joint.

5. Meat dishes with head/feet still attached

Yes.

ALH said...

Agree with drozz...
it is enjoyable to drink out of mason jars, particularly on a hot summer day.

nevadabob said...

Wisconsin recall results: 22 comments

Deep fried food results: 129 comments.

Maybe you should start a deep-fried Okra blog, Ann.

edutcher said...

Irene said...

edutcher, I was a menace; I still am.

I *loved* the outfit. I was making my "grownup face." I would curl up my nose and purse my lips because I tought that expression made me look like a lady. There are dozens of family photos of me with that same expression.


I didn't say you were The Menace, although Margaret probably counts as Dennis' menace, but what you said about making a face.

The Blonde did the same thing, although it was at her parents' encouragement. They'd say, "Make a snoot (?)", every time they took her picture. She was still doing it when I met her. I think I've gotten her out of the habit, but, as an adult, she hated having her picture taken because she thoughts she doesn't take a good picture.

(well, Blondie, if you always make a face...)

Actually, if you get her to relax and smile, she looks very nice.

Michael Haz said...

Anything called "pot pie". I ate that stuff for years, both frozen and in restaurants, and never once did I get stoned.

Jess said...

Deep fried food results: 129 comments.

Maybe you should start a deep-fried Okra blog


But what has okra to do with food?

ALH said...

Tosa guy said: "I was in Madison today and the hunger strike guy is still fat."

We were there a few weeks ago with the kids and my 8 year old asked what he was doing and why. After she thought for a while, she said "hmm, he must have been really really big when he started not eating".

Maybe he can fix calories straight from the air of righteous indignation and sense of self-importance that occupies Madison.

Irene said...

edutcher, that's very insightful because my family, too, considered it a "snoot." I even snorted when I made the face. Well, I breathed in the air in a peculiar way.

EDH said...

How about putting the fork on the left side of the plate.

What fucking idiot came up with that place setting etiquette?

First thing I do when I sit at a dinner table is switch sides between the fork and the knife.

Michael Haz said...

Soup in a bread bowl. First of all, it isn't soup, because a good, brothy soup would soak through the bread bowl before it made it to the table.

The "soup" is actually just a very thick, flavored roux with flecks of meat and vegetables and a half-cup of salt.

The bread used for the bread bowl is usually pretty but awful tasting ordinary stuff, but in a round form. The only reason to eat the bread bowl is if the pound of flour used to make the roux hasn't pushed you into an insulin coma and you need some extra oomph to finish the job.

Want soup and bread? Order the french onion and enjoy the crouton. Soup belongs in a bowl; bread belongs on the plate next to the soup.

Ann Althouse said...

I like the way Irene has her legs crossed and her fingers interlaced. She's either copying her mother or following instructions to assume the same position. The similarity and the differences are sweet.

Fr Martin Fox said...

My peeves:

1. Ice water in a glass with a pedestal base. Unless you remember to wipe off the base each time you drink from it, you will dribble condensed water all over yourself.

Not a big deal, but--why would you want to make your customers look and feel ridiculous?

2. A loaf of bread that you have to handle in order to cut. (Outback does this.) I don't particularly want to handle the bread other people are going to eat.

3. If you bring me a big loaf of bread, or a big pile of bread, how about bringing me a bunch of butter?

What? You don't approve of me slathering lots of butter on my bread? What's it to you? Sorry to inform you, but your bread isn't that good. It needs lots of butter (or whatever that is).

edutcher said...

Irene said...

edutcher, that's very insightful because my family, too, considered it a "snoot." I even snorted when I made the face. Well, I breathed in the air in a peculiar way.

Not to be nosy, but were you born and raised in the Midwest?

I'm wondering if this is one of those regional things like spelling the singular of what's mashed and freedom fried as "potatoe", which I notice she did a few times.

EDH said...

I was making my "grownup face." I would curl up my nose and purse my lips because I tought that expression made me look like a lady. There are dozens of family photos of me with that same expression.

"Isn't that special."

galdosiana said...

I ate a guinea pig when I was in Peru two years ago. It is a typical dish in the Andes, generally served whole--feet, toes (and toenails), eyes, ears, and even teeth...everything included. Mine was a skinny one, and it tasted awful. Apparently the fat ones are a lot better.

MadisonMan said...

I like those chairs, Irene.

If food tastes good, I don't care how it's presented. If the only thing going for it is the presentation, then I'm in the wrong place.

DADvocate said...

A trout staring back at me is OK, but otherwise leave the head out. Mason jars are OK.

When I was a kid, a lady in our church wore the mink with a head during the winter. I loved to sit behind her and look at it.

Ralph L said...

I've got several of Grandma's and great aunts' whole minks. They're brittle. I wonder why they didn't sew the eyelids shut.

Restaurants should never serve cold bread.

I was at a trendy restaurant in Winston-Salem on Sunday. Everything on the menu had something in it I didn't like or couldn't stomach. The guy who roomed next door to me freshman year (1979) walked by, still blond and fit (he runs his dad's expensive men's store).

Irene said...

Althouse, I don't recall following instructions (I was never very good at that), but I was imitating what I thought was the pose of a refined woman. My mother was (and is) my example. Intelligent and candid grace.

edutcher, I grew up in suburban Chicago, but I was first-generation American--my parents were DPs from Lithuania. Consequently, my sensibilities about what was "proper" differed from that of my American friends. I am embarrassed to think that I made a "potato/potatoe" spelling mistake.

I did not speak English until I went to kindergarten, so I suppose some things still get lost in translation.

My relationship with my Mother is still very sweet. I shudder to think of all the hardship and losses that she encountered during her life.

Irene said...

MadisonMan, those chairs were great. Wicker. They lasted many years.

Henry said...

I've never said no to wine in a tumbler.

As for heads and feet, I'm always game.

As for "Cold bread in a brown paper sack" is that common? I'd rather have that than Aspic in a brown paper sack, I suppose. Surely there are worse things.

My problem is that I eat better at home -- and at the homes of friends -- than in any restaurant. All the presentations on this list sound like things I would encounter when I'm eating with friends and not at a restaurant.

Here's what I hate: the desert menu. Deserts in restaurants are universally awful. The most annoying Food/Drink Presentation is the waiter who points to the tiramisu and tells you "it is the specialty of the house." No it's not. It's oversweetened whip-creamed pudding mush. Spare us your tiramisu, Mr. Waiter. I have had the best tiramisu and it isn't for sale.

Meade said...

" I was a menace; I still am."

Please never change.

Irene said...

Mr. Irene just saw this post and remarked, "It's good to be a sassmuffin from early in life. Fun career."

*smooch*

Irene said...

Thank you, Meade. Can't teach an old poodle new tricks.

Luther said...

Irene. Your mom, nice legs.

Irene said...

Luther! Mr. Irene just said that, too!

Luther said...

Great minds and all that...

edutcher said...

Irene said...

edutcher, I grew up in suburban Chicago, but I was first-generation American--my parents were DPs from Lithuania. Consequently, my sensibilities about what was "proper" differed from that of my American friends. I am embarrassed to think that I made a "potato/potatoe" spelling mistake.

Hmmmm...

The Blonde's ancestry is the usual French-German-Scotch-Irish mix. One grandparent was an immigrant, but the rest seem to go back to before the Civil War and her family's been in Ohio for a couple of generations, so the snoot may be pop culture of the 50s.

As I said, the potatoe thing seems to be a convention in the Midwest, so you, her, and Dan Quayle all probably learned it in school, so I'm not making fun of her or you.

I know how accomplished you are and if you or Mr Irene ever looked up from a hospital bed and you saw a somewhat larger framed, more hourglass Ann Althouse look-alike saying she was your nurse, you could rest assured you were in the best of hands.

PS What Meade said.

Irene said...

Thanks, edutcher.

I have a fascination with all things "potatoed," so I appreciate your understanding remarks. Potatoes are the national food of Lithuania.

I have encountered many wonderful nurses, and I am sure The Blonde is in that same group.

ignatzk said...

Reminds me of those venues where you ate with your hands and watched medieval jousting re-enactments. Serving wenches, dogs, jesters ... I suspect they've gone out of style. There used to be one on the way to Chicago.

Karl said...

Wine in a 8oz water glass was the normal presentation in Greektown, Chicago.
To this day, I prefer my wine in a cheap Cisco water glass.

David said...

Oh, Irene, now I know I love you.

Michelle Dulak Thomson said...

I remember being distinctly freaked out when I ordered a rainbow trout on the way to music camp (I would've been 11), and got the entire fish, eyes and all. I do not like my food looking at me, thanks.

wv: dolitin. Soon to be a pharmaceutical sensation, though what it will alleviate we'll just have to wait and see.

David said...

I still think "food that sucks" is the worst. Here in Door County we have a lot of that (in restaurants.)

Irene said...

David, ha ha!

Michelle Dulak Thomson said...

Henry,

Here's what I hate: the desert menu. Deserts in restaurants are universally awful.

Damn straight. If they don't give you free water w/o your asking for it, you're in the wrong venue.

Re tiramisu, I can make a better one than any I've had in a restaurant, too, but it's an all-day project. (Often a two-day project, because ladyfingers aren't as common at supermarkets as you might guess.)

Irene said...

David, don't miss the Fried Chicken at Al Johnson's. It's an unexpected treat that we've enjoyed since 1968.

Michelle Dulak Thomson said...

David,

I still think "food that sucks" is the worst.

If you're going to restaurants where the squid and octopus are still alive, I'd suggest that there are other options.

wv: borsest. Borse, borser, borsest. I gather it means you have the biggest frakkin' designer Italian purse on the planet.

edutcher said...

Irene said...

Thanks, edutcher.

I have a fascination with all things "potatoed," so I appreciate your understanding remarks. Potatoes are the national food of Lithuania.


Not to mention Ireland.

I have encountered many wonderful nurses, and I am sure The Blonde is in that same group.

She is, but I hope if you meet her, it's strictly on a social basis.

Bruce Hayden said...

If you are looking for cheap used mink coats, try Savers in Las Vegas. A couple of years ago, we were going up to Mt. Charleston, and my friend didn't have a coat. So, we stopped there and picked up two of them. One was a nice red leather coat and the other she first thought was fox or something. Couldn't believe that it was anything nicer. But, no, it was mink. They each cost $20. So, she now has a good looking casual wear mink coat.

Unfortunately, it is too new to have the head and paws.

F said...

Michael Haz re soup in a bread bowl:

The best reason yet for not eating that abomination is that the guys in back can't wash that bowl very well, so it gets ugly at the end of the day. F

Indigo Red said...

Vertical presentation. I hate having to dismantle the food in order to eat it. And such small portions, too.

Fred4Pres said...

I agree with some of this list, but having had rotissary and baked sheep, goats and pigs whole, I can say you have not really lived until you tried it. No, organs are removed (many of which are absolutely delicious too), but roasting an animal is great.

And I have been to parties where the head of the pig, goat or sheep is passed to you as a point of honor so you can pluck off a juice morsel or an eyeball. Puerto Ricans and Cubans do pig roasts. In the middle east it is sheep and goats.

It is awesome. And there was a practical reason for all of this. No waste. Everything gets eaten.

Fred4Pres said...

Anthony Bourdain is generally right. Anyone dissing him is generally jealous.

Dustin said...

"ignatzk said...

Reminds me of those venues where you ate with your hands and watched medieval jousting re-enactments. Serving wenches, dogs, jesters ... I suspect they've gone out of style. There used to be one on the way to Chicago."

They have one in Dallas.

Frankly, it wasn't that good when I went. But I brought plastic silverware and everyone gave me dirty looks. The waiter claimed he was going to take them from me and I laughed in his face.

I actually had a good time, but the food was pretty bad. Another $20 for better food would have really improved the experience, but everyone else seemed satisfied, so what do I know?

Rockeye said...

You all must be rich yuppies or something, fussing about your wine glasses. I drink mine straight from the bottle, wrapped in a handy insulating brown paper sack.

Dustin said...

"I drink mine straight from the bottle, wrapped in a handy insulating brown paper sack."

Where you keep your cold bread.

Blue@9 said...

Wine in a tumbler is perfectly acceptable. This is especially so during picnics or at the beach. Heck, when camping you use any available cup or mug.

Chip Ahoy said...

In predynastic Egypt clay bowls were fashioned with human feet. One such bowl is a favorite object at the NY Metropolitan Museum of Art. The bowl tips forward slightly as if offering its contents or for pouring its liquid.

Egyptologists continuously refine their understanding of these things. When I was a little bitty kid knee-high to a grasshopper, I was told this bowl was used for offerings, that it is a rebus type pun on the Egyptian word for "bring", an "n" sound or perhaps "ini". But that understand has changed. Now there is agreement the bowl was for ritualistic water and is a pun for the word "pure", "w'b" where the apostrophe stands for a phoneme not used in English, so lets say "web".

If you would like to see these words in Egyptian hieroglyphics, and honestly who wouldn't?, you can use my own online hieroglyphic finder here and search the words "bring" and "pure" and then see for yourself how Egyptologists would arrive at such conclusions.

If you would like to own such an adorable bowl they can purchased here.

Paco Wové said...

Chip: that bowl is (and I say this as a burly, deep-voiced hairy-chested manly man) adorable.

Re food: here in my small midwestern college town, I'd just be happy if 99.9% of all restaurants weren't pizza joints / sports bars / abysmal Cantonese buffets.

Shanna said...

she said: "Cup your hands!"

I went to Honduras years ago, and when you ordered a coke at a gas station you got it in a plastic baggie! You drank out of the corner. Very strange.

Lincolntf said...

Ralph L said...
I was at a trendy restaurant in Winston-Salem on Sunday.

Oh, do tell. Where did you go? I live in Winston-Salem and am always looking for input on local restaurants.

Ralph L said...

The funniest bit in Morris' biography of Reagan concerned a gift the Bushes gave him during his presidency. It was a small table with a Pres. seal as a top and a pair of RR's boots as the legs. The Bushes couldn't figure out Nancy's lack of enthusiasm for it.

Ralph L said...

6th and Vine was the name of the place, though it wasn't quite on the corner of 6th ("Avenue of the Arts") and Vine Streets downtown(they have a big wine list). Can't say I liked it, but I prefer plain food. The lunch menu looked better than the dinner and was much cheaper. The wood bench was hard on my ass, too.

Shouldn't you live in Lincoln County?

Lincolntf said...

6th and Vine, eh? That's one of the places I've opted against going when we've been downtown. Didn't like the vibe. Depending on what time you were eating, a good (great in my opinion) option would've been "Sweet Potatoes" right down the street. I've never had a bad meal there, but the menu is pretty small so your mileage may very.

Lincolntf said...

Sweet Potatoes

rocketeer67 said...

But what has okra to do with food?

Jess, I'm about to issue a fatwa against you. Infidel!

Ralph L said...

One of our party now works at School of the Arts, but told us he'd helped present the model of the Big White Dildo building to the Wachovia board. They made it rise up through a table! Did you know there's a hole in the top for venting the A/C?

MadisonMan said...

I went to a lamb roast. It looked like they were roasting a small german shepherd.

Lincolntf said...

"Did you know there's a hole in the top for venting the A/C?"

No, but every time I get on Main St. to head downtown, that massive shlong is in my windshield for ten minutes. It looks like someone's parody of the "skyscraper as phallic symbol" construct. The first time I saw it I literally pointed and laughed. I think my wife blushed.

Ralph L said...

I liked the Zephly House when we went there about 20 years ago. They served deep-fried, shaved red cabbage, the only time I've liked it cooked. The Salem Tavern was good in the 70's when my sister was at Salem College.

ndspinelli said...

Baked potatoes wrapped in aluminum foil. Firstly, they shouldn't be baked in foil. Secondly, JUST UNWRAP THE MOTHERFUCKER..please. Or, is it considered part of the presentation.

ndspinelli said...

Salad that hasn't been properly prepared and there's a pool of water on the plate.

ndspinelli said...

This is a Wisconsin thing. Order pancakes and they put a pound of butter on top.

ndspinelli said...

Another Wisconsin dairy thing..mozzarella 3 inches deep. They should have a prune topping option

ndspinelli said...

I've taken my meds and I'll stop..but don't get me started on this.

ndspinelli said...

Regarding the bread posts. Good bread should never be cut, you break it w/ your hands. Sorry..I'm really done now.

LarsPorsena said...

"Blogger Ralph L said...

One of our party now works at School of the Arts, but told us he'd helped present the model of the Big White Dildo building to the Wachovia board. They made it rise up through a table! Did you know there's a hole in the top for venting the A/C?"

Yep, I've been up there ;there's a foot-ladder that goes to the top through the hole in the dome (IIRC). Sort of like the oculus of the Pantheon.

LordSomber said...

I agree about the vertical presentation. What's the point?

Grandma had a fox stole that would terrify my mom as a kid.

TheThinMan said...

1) Salad on a little plate instead of a salad bowl.
2) On the other hand, a whole meal, like grilled chicken with potatoes (still hot), served in a salad bowl over lettuce for people who like to pretend they're "just having a salad."

TheThinMan said...

Beer poured from a nice cold bottle into a warm, thin plastic cup. Gee, thanks.

TheThinMan said...

Wine not served in a wine glass? How about on a plane where a MARTINI comes in a shitty little plastic cup? Of course, I never had it, but just knowing it exists is so repulsive.

TheThinMan said...

Dinner served as if it's finger food at a party, where you're supposed to walk around with a plate full of roast beef in one hand and a glass of wine in the other.

TheThinMan said...

I once had a roommate who said he was served burnt toast at a coffee shop. The waitress snarled, "scrape it the way ya like it."

TheThinMan said...

A toasted bagel with cream cheese to go is always a big mistake. They wrap it in foil and when you open it up you have hot melted cream cheese dripping from the bagel.

TheThinMan said...

A lobster salad sandwich is 1) four times as expensive as any other sandwich on the menu and, 2) is the only one served, not with the usual choice of seven-grain bread, pita, baguette, etc. but on a crappy little hot dog bun. I repeat, a HOT. DOG. BUN. wtf? $17 for a lobsterscraps-in-mayo hot dog. Bon appetite!

Lincolntf said...

ThinMan,
Yeah, the lobster roll is a paradox. I avoided them for years (fish market at the top of the street sold live twin lobsters for half the price of a roll) out of principle. But I finally had one a few years ago and I'm hooked. Overloaded, toasted bun, delicious and compact. Definitely not cost effective, but the convenience factor is major.

TheThinMan said...

Footnotes to the above: 1) That "salad" of grilled chicken and potatoes usually has cooked string beans in there too. Great dinner! Just put the fucker on a plate, will ya? 2) Lobster salad sandwich for $17 was actually wishful thinking. In New York City and environs we're talking $18-21 these days. 3) My username is in tribute to the William Powell character and does not necessarily reflect the opinions of my bathroom scale.

Joseph said...

I don’t like messy sandwiches.

fafhrd said...

Dude, I have no idea how you left off Corona and lemon/lime. Any drink that requires you to mix it with a foreign object sucks horribly. I'd rather drink PBR.

TheThinMan said...

Lincoln, I hear ya. That's the tragedy of the situation: they taste great. When I do piss away big bucks on a lobster roll, it's the closest I'll ever get to knowing what it's like to be a smoker.

pawtuck said...

ThinMan- I like your moniker! but the Thin Man was actually the character in the first movie that got murdered. (we named our dog Asta, got into all the Thin Man
movies!)

Mason Jar drinking always dribbles down my chin.

Sigivald said...

Wine served in non-wine glasses?

Cry me a fucking river, Zagat.

I like my wine in a juice glass, and the plonk I'm getting at a restaurant isn't better because it's in a ridiculous piece of stemware.

(Also, I would totally eat pig leg with the hoof on.)

TheThinMan said...

Pawtuck: It just so happens I invited Powell and his cronies over for dinner to get to the bottom of that very question. I said, "Isn't it true, Mr. Powell, that the thin man died in the first film and so the only common thread in the so called" Thin Man Series" is you playing a detective?" "Yes, I guess that's true," he mumbled. Then Myrna served the nuts. So I said, "And wouldn't that make you, in fact, The Thin Man? Wouldn't it, Mr. Powell? Wouldn't it?" He pulled a gun out from under the table but I knocked it out of his hand and the police/waiters arrested him. I'm now enjoying a cross country train ride as the credits come up, thank you very much.

prairie wind said...

Jess, I'm about to issue a fatwa against you. Infidel!

I read that as "Jesus, I'm about to..." and laughed out loud.

Vertical presentation? You mean where they pipe the potatoes into a pretty little pile in the middle of the plate, then put the steak on top of that and then top the steak with a frou-frou salsa? I don't get that, either. The first time it happened, I thought they forgot to put the taters on my plate. I found them, eventually.

Ann Althouse said...

Joseph said: "I don’t like messy sandwiches."

You need to read my Sandwich Manifesto.

Methadras said...

Most annoying food/drink presentations? Ugly waiters/waitresses. Shouldn't be allowed.

Crunchy Frog said...

Salads with 35 different varieties of "lettuce" in them. I don't want a goddamned salad that's full of what looks like the weeds I have to pull out of my lawn.

Just give me iceberg with a sprinkling of romaine for color, and double the damn bleu cheese dressing from what you skinflints always provide, and let's call it a day, capische?

pawtuck said...

ThinMan- LOL! Excellent, it's like I'm reading the script for a new movie!

(did Asta run under the couch when he pulled the gun?)

Joseph said...

Hi Ann, I agree completely with your Sandwich Manifesto.

TheThinMan said...

Pawtuck: Yes! And that reminds me of another serving annoyance: look at those big, round champagne glasses in the old movies then look at the prissy "flute" glasses of today. If it's cheap champagne, fine, I'll hold it like a prop. But if it's good, I want to DRINK it! My daughter's Madeleine tea set cups held more liquid than today's champagne glasses.

TheThinMan said...

Fafhrd, I have to disagree with you on that one. Putting garnishes in drinks is usually a nice touch. The more crap floating in my Bloody Mary the better: hot pepper, olives, radish, celery, lemon, lime, Mighty Dog... Okay, maybe not Mighty Dog.But I like Corona with lime (not lemon), so sue me. It actually sucks without it, so in that sense, yes the beer sucks. But they make a nice combination on a hot day, especially at the beach. Just gotta get enough of a buzz going to get the commercials out of your head.

Lincolntf said...

ThinMan, that reminds me of another food oddity I see at the "Sonic" restaurants here in NC. They call it a Chicago Dog, but it looks like a sad attempt at turning a hot dog into a sideways burger.

From the menu:
"A beef hot dog made with 100% pure beef and topped with pickle, relish, tomato, sport peppers, celery salt and mustard all served up in a soft, warm poppy seed bun."


How (and why) does one eat this?

ndspinelli said...

Thin Man, the flutes are much better @ keeping the bubbly, bubbly. Those old glasses didn't. But..you sound like a chugger so maybe you should go w/ the Mason Jars.

ndspinelli said...

Lincolntf, Chicago is a great city. But, Chicago Dogs are way too busy. The shame is in Chicago they use Vienna Beef hot dogs which are pretty damn good. All of the shit they smother it w/ drowns the flavor of the good dog.

TheThinMan said...

"Thin Man, the flutes are much better @ keeping the bubbly, bubbly." Yes, less air surface and all that. But look at how they used to make a toast in the movies with those old glasses and tell me that ain't the way it ought to be! Now it's like everybody's holding up their Bic pen.

ndspinelli said...

Professor,

Thanks for the heads up on the Sandwich Manifesto. We are sympatico on this subject. I don't like to be a pain when I order but I do always ask the waiter if a reuben is messy prior to ordering.

There was a fictional detective Edward X Delaney created by author, Lawrence Sanders. Delaney is obsessive about sandwiches.

TheThinMan said...

Lincoln and Spinelli: never had a hot dog in Chicago, but it sounds like they're trying to do to hot dogs what they did to pizza: deep dish it. Hey, to each his own! I once got a hot dog at a stand in Times Square. I guess he was the hot dog Nazi. I asked if he had any sauerkraut, etc. and he just screamed at me that I'm getting a Hebrew National hot dog, which is the best in the world, so what else more could I want?

Lincolntf said...

Just got back from bojangles. i've eaten about half of my meal and am saving the rest for an hour or two.

This is what I have:
"A leg and two thighs of our world-famous chicken made with a special blend of seasonings and fried to perfection along your choice of two home-style fixin’s and a made-from-scratch buttermilk biscuit."

(I chose mac and cheese and some sort of spicy baked beans as the side dishes. Also a sweet potato pie.)

Damned good so far.

Lincolntf said...

ooops, wrong thread.