May 30, 2010

"It gave me pecs, gave me definition, it gave me confidence."

Spanx for men.

Fabulous, for the unnaked man.

42 comments:

Fred4Pres said...

Damn, I missed the male Spanx investiment opportunity. So to be ahead of the curve, I should start investing in codpiece companies?

c3 said...

I love the picture caption:

Robert Hytner says Equmen tees ease back pain

That's the fashion equivalent of
I get Playboy for the great articles

Lem said...

Does it make sense that if you have a big woman's clientele, their men might also be.. big?

Trooper, I'm just saying ;)

rhhardin said...

You look in the mirror, and it’s like, hey, now I’m an amoeba.

The amoebra is next.

Rose said...

It's not a girdle, it is a "compression undershirt."

The Spanx for Men Cotton Compression Tank feels great and provides moderate, breathable compression all day and all night for a more streamlined, smoother profile. LOL

Wordsmiths.

AllenS said...

The problem with stuff like that is if you went out and picked up a really hot woman, brought her home, decided to have sex, and then you start removing your clothes... and then... there you are wearing a fucking girdle?

WV: sulanex

What's that supposed to do?

Lem said...

You hang'm up for the AYCE Buffet outings.

Lem said...

Or the Spanx could have a button with a compression setting, so you never leave home w/o it.

EDH said...

Does this stuff breath? Is it comfortable against your skin?

For example, when I wear a synthetic nylon gym shirt, if it's anything near tight on me, it ties what few chest hairs I do have into little painful Gordian knots that I have to shave off.

That also probably has something to do with my being half Sicilian, and the fact that my "great-great-great-great grandmother...

Robert said...

Lemme get this straight:

We can't wear shorts, but we can wear this?

Yet another reason men die first.

edutcher said...

The last sell out (of oh, so many) of the Don't Trust Anybody Over 30 crowd.

Rose said...

It's not a girdle, it is a "compression undershirt."

No, it's a manbra.

Robert said...

Lemme get this straight:

We can't wear shorts, but we can wear this?


If she allows this, she can't complain about shorts.

King's X or whatever.

Trooper York said...

"Does this stuff breath? Is it comfortable against your skin?"

Well in fact it depends on what Spanx produce you buy. The microfiber garments breathe and the girls in my store wear them in the heat of the summer with no problem.

The hide and sleek control top is just like a pair of stockings but with tummy control.

Trooper York said...

I have been very happy with the sales of their new product Spanx Skinny Britches.

They are colorful control garments that are great for wearing under sun dresses.

Trooper York said...

In the fall and winter I can not keep Spanx tights in the store as girls come in and buy every piece I have in their size.

Trooper York said...

Spanx for men is really a silly affectation that metrosexuals might enjoy like smoking Gauloises cigarettes or rooting for the Red Sox.

It is not really what a man would do but knock yourself out.

It is still a free country for a little bit longer I hope.

Trooper York said...

"Lem said...
Does it make sense that if you have a big woman's clientele, their men might also be.. big?"

As it happens, the husbands, boyfriends or significant others of my girls are often not lightweights their ownselves. They enjoy life and don't have the pinched unhealthy look of the douches who hang around the health food store.

The one characteristic that I think they all share is that the actually love their wives just the way they are and are happy that they are finding clothes that are stylish and fit. Everybody can get healthier and feel better but you still have to look good at the party or the wedding you are going to that weekend. I almost never have a cross word between the couples when they shop in my store.

Unless I get skinny nasty bitches in the store.

Oligonicella said...

This reminds me of one of my favorite Phyllis Diller and Richard Deacon skits.

Both home after glam dinner evening and, as they remove countless pieces of jewelry, false eyelashes, toupee, make up, girdles (both) and such, they complain loud and long about the falsity of the other guests.

Once stripped down to drawers and selves (both not exactly the prettiest of individuals) Richard turns to Phyllis and says "Why can't everyone just be themselves, like us."

DADvocate said...

It gave me pecs, gave me definition, it gave me confidence.

I found doing a few push-ups on a regular basis does the same for me. And, it's still there when I take my shirt off.

EDH said...

"They are colorful control garments that are great for wearing under sun dresses."

Trooper, we didn't know.

;)

Trooper York said...

Hey I am not ashamed to sell Spanx and other womans undergarments. Spending my weekend talking to well endowed woman about their breasts is a surprisingly enjoyable endeavor.

I do have several guys who come in to buy them for their imaginary "girlfriends."

They prefer the Hanky Panky! Or our Thrilling Thong from Dirty Girls!

We like to call those guys cross-trainers.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

JAL said...

Ahhh ...

Now we know why Meade looks so ... fit.

Trooper York said...

"JAL said...
Ahhh ...
Now we know why Meade looks so ... fit."

That and the fact she only lets him have half a burger and half a glass of beer at a time.

Jason (the commenter) said...

Robert: We can't wear shorts, but we can wear this?

Don't listen to the Althouse! The less clothing you wear, the closer to nature you are. Throw on some short, put on some sandals, find a useful hat, and go see the world.

Ann Althouse said...

"We can't wear shorts, but we can wear this?"

This post seems like an endorsement?!

"Well in fact it depends on what Spanx produce you buy. The microfiber garments breathe and the girls in my store wear them in the heat of the summer with no problem."

People looking to be sexually attractive overcome their actual physical feelings. So sad! If you gotten to the point where your body does not sense that spandex compression, how are you going to enjoy the sexual caresses you hope to inspire?

"The hide and sleek control top is just like a pair of stockings but with tummy control."

Oh, great! Just what you want in the summer. Tummy control pantyhose. Wouldn't it be easier just to give up sex?

"I have been very happy with the sales of their new product Spanx Skinny Britches."

Good for you for making money, but I look at those pictures and only wonder what happens at the points where the control ends? It goes up to the woman's waist, and then what happens?

"They are colorful control garments that are great for wearing under sun dresses."

The idea of sundresses is that they are completely airy. Put crap like that under it and the idea is just to look like you are dressed for summer, for the pleasure of onlookers. You won't feel like it.

"They prefer the Hanky Panky! Or our Thrilling Thong from Dirty Girls!"

Did you know that thong underwear wicks bodily substances from the anus to the urinary tract, causing infections? Sexy!!!

Trooper York said...

Hey some people like old lady bloomers.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Trooper York said...

"People looking to be sexually attractive overcome their actual physical feelings."

Jeeez then let's outlaw make-up and clothes that fit. I mean not everybody wants to wear shapeless moo-moos and groom their Oscar Gamble while singing Kumbaya on the way to buying Tofu at the Farmers Market at seven in the morning.

Roger J. said...

this thread is the epitome of too much information.

For the men that have to wear spanx, why dont you get your sorry asses to the gym and work out? results are the same except permanent.

edutcher said...

Oligonicella said...

This reminds me of one of my favorite Phyllis Diller and Richard Deacon skits.

Both home after glam dinner evening and, as they remove countless pieces of jewelry, false eyelashes, toupee, make up, girdles (both) and such, they complain loud and long about the falsity of the other guests.

Once stripped down to drawers and selves (both not exactly the prettiest of individuals) Richard turns to Phyllis and says "Why can't everyone just be themselves, like us."


And then they hug each other because they love each other for who they are, not what they look like.

"Love American Style" - you're right, one of their best, and obviously most memorable, vignettes.

WV "warties" What a small c communist wears with Spanx to make all the radical girls think he's a true believer.

Trooper York said...

"Did you know that thong underwear wicks bodily substances from the anus to the urinary tract, causing infections? Sexy!!!"

Here's a thought!

Sorry if there is a problem.

Meade said...

JAL said...
Ahhh ...

Now we know why Meade looks so ... fit.


Ha ha. Thanks, JAL. Actually, I'm trying to lose/use about 10 lbs. of stored body fat while adding some muscle mass. My method: reduce calorie intake, and optimize weight-bearing exercises. Takes a little time and effort but the results will be worth it.

Roger J. said...

Seems to me that Meade's prescription is right on target--spanx not reuired; only the commitment to work out--

jayne_cobb said...

Oh dear God.

Just run 20 miles a week and do some pushups at night. It's free for the most part, and you won't have a gut when you get nekid.

Actually the rules regarding male spandex are similar to Althouse's rules regarding shorts on men:

-It is never acceptable unless
-It's for sports
-cold weather or
-to prevent chafage

Deborah said...

No sympathy from me unless they also put on pantyhose, control top preferably. In the summer. In GEORGIA.

HKatz said...

Spanx for men is not without historical precedent.

People generally know that women wore corsets (and that Victorian times these could often be laced so tightly as to cause a variety of medical problems).

But men have also worn stays and corsets, and there are some 19th century advertisements you can find for male corsets (to keep that figure trim!) - plus some claimed it helped them with back pain :)

The Crack Emcee said...

"It gave me pecs, gave me definition, it gave me confidence."

It finally made him a real woman!

Irene said...

Geez! I am gone for four days, I come back, and I decide to open this thread first. What does that say about me?

wv: cencer. I did not yet read the Dennis Hopper cancer posts.

stepskipper said...

>>Robert Hytner says Equmen tees ease back pain

Is the guy pictured in the article Andrew Sullivan with a toupee?

Dust Bunny Queen said...

"Did you know that thong underwear wicks bodily substances from the anus to the urinary tract, causing infections? Sexy!!!"

Here's a thought!

Sorry if there is a problem.


Wow. This thread is turning out to be a lot more informative and entertaining than I ever imagined.

ironrailsironweights said...

If you're a man, and you really want to impress women, just put a potato in your pants.

But make sure it's in front.

Peter

Andrea said...

"The less clothing you wear, the closer to nature you are."

Hey, why not just go naked? Sit your ass right down on that fire ant hill! Whatsamatter, don't you want to get close to nature? What are you, some kind of racist?

I'm a Florida native. I try to stay as far away from nature as I can.

The Crack Emcee said...

Andrea,

"Why not just go naked? Sit your ass right down on that fire ant hill! Whatsamatter, don't you want to get close to nature? What are you, some kind of racist?"

Naw, in my line of work (cultism) I hear this nonsense repeatedly - it's the lament of those who were raped by America.

blake said...

Actually, I'm trying to lose/use about 10 lbs. of stored body fat while adding some muscle mass. My method: reduce calorie intake, and optimize weight-bearing exercises.

What are ya, a damned commie?

Go on a crazy crash diet and by one of them ab thingies you see on TV (and never use) like a real American!