November 14, 2009

Why did Joshua Basso — who was only looking for sex — keep calling 911?

According to the police report — he'd run out of minutes on his cell phone, so 911 was the only number that still worked.

ADDED: Poor Joshua! He just wanted to hear a voice of some kind. Got me thinking about "Talkin' World War III Blues," in which Bob Dylan's problem is not that he ran out of minutes but — it's kind of worse — there's been a nuclear holocaust:
I was feelin' kinda lonesome and blue,
I needed somebody to talk to.
So I called up the operator of time
Just to hear a voice of some kind.
"When you hear the beep
It will be three o'clock,"
She said that for over an hour
And I hung it up.

29 comments:

edutcher said...

The same people whose parents had Walkmen growing out of their heads and whose grandparents had transistor radios growing out of their heads now can't tear themselves away from their phones or IPods.

Eventually, we'll evolve a port for all that junk the same way little holes and pockets are being engineered into all manner of bags and packs.

Jason (the commenter) said...

Those three tags:police, sex, stupid; often go together (also Florida, where this happened).

John Burgess said...

Not sure of the reason, but Florida does seem to grow some dumb ones. Particularly dumb ones that come to the attention of the media.

knox said...

Florida the commenter is a dumb one too.

miller said...

You gotta admire his creativity.

Fred4Pres said...

I had a friend who would get drunk and call the psychic friends network and try to hit on the operators. It was funny because he would do it while we were sitting at the bar. He sometimes did it at home and then his roomate (who did not know it was him) would complain about the charges weeks later (and of course he would forget he had done it). In a way less expensive in the long run than what Joshua Basso did...but still expensive.

Bissage said...

The article says that Mr. Basso is being held without bond so everybody wins on this one.

G Joubert said...

Back in the day we used to say California was the land of fruits and nuts. Nowadays Florida is the new California. Someday in the not too distant future it'll probably be Texas.

Zach said...

So did it work?

There are a lot of good lines that spring to mind.

"My heart's on fire for you, baby."

"If loving you is a crime, I'll just stay on the line."

And of course, if you get shot down:

"That's ok. It says 'induce vomiting' on the container."

LoafingOaf said...

The Smoking Gun has part of the audio from one of the calls. Though, you may not wanna listen as you're gonna hear the sick puppy jerking off in the shower while on the phone.

That link also has the police report, which is kinda funny.

traditionalguy said...

Florida has "evolved" thru a natural selection caused by its warm winter weather into the preferred destination of the mass of druggies and other semi-insane street people.Florida Beach life is now hedonism gone wild, and the locals never stop the self destruction to go back home.

peter hoh said...

Once again, anyone heard from the commenter Florida?

Meade said...

knox said...
"Florida the commenter is a dumb one too."

Shhhh!

Please.

Enough blogstorms.

At least until Tuesday.

Shanna said...

This story is that perfect combination of terribly sad and terribly funny.

traditionalguy said...

I fear that Florida has been recalled for reprograming as a more nuanced wild and crazy wing nut. He overplayed his hand.

EDH said...

Poor Joshua!

Such empathy from Althouse!

edutcher said...

knox said...

Florida the commenter is a dumb one too.

No, she's not, anything but. However, like more and more Americans, she's fed up. I wish she and Ann would take a leaf from Cole Porter and ditch the four letter words for better prose, but I (and most of the readers of this blog, I'll wager) understand her feelings.

traditionalguy said...

I fear that Florida has been recalled for reprograming as a more nuanced wild and crazy wing nut. He overplayed his hand.

Flo, as she has stated, is a lady.

former law student said...

Too bad "the man" stopped Miss Cleo.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BAQS7pdjVU4

Call me now!

Zokar said...

Poor Joshua, huh?

Yeah, I sure do love me some child-abuse-to-the-point-of-permanent-brain-damage humor in the morning.

traditionalguy said...

edutcher...With all due respect for you and your opinions which are well spoken and always intelligent, how do you know who or what gender The commenter Florida was? I loved reading Florida too, Florida was a great writer that could sound like a staunch fed up conservative on every issue, and then would throw in a call to kill and become that lawless mob that Nancy Pelossi carefully characterized conservatives as being to prepare a battlespace against us. Sorry if I sound paranoid here, but that is my considered opinion. Like Major Hasan, you need to listen carefully and see beyond the uniform they are wearing. An old saying is that sheep are a mangy bunch, and whenever you meet a perfect sheep, then you have met a wolf climbing in among the sheep and a good guard dog must bark.

John Burgess said...

traditional guy: You exaggerate a bit.

Florida beaches, excepting during the Spring Break phenomena, are actually pretty sedate. There's only one legal nude beach in the entire state, a state with a shoreline in excess of 2,250 miles.

Some public beaches even ban smoking, on top of drinking, drugs, and open fires.

But you're dead-on about the climate providing a draw for those who suspect they may be living in open-sky accommodations.

traditionalguy said...

Sorry John Burgess. The beaches usually have a public access park area every half mile or so. That is where the down and out like this Tampa dude will congregate. There are another 90% good clean beach areas as you pointed out.

pro said...

I wasn't familiar with that particular Dylan song, but it also reminds me of an Old 97's song.

"Well a box of red and a pill or three,
And I'm calling time and temperature just for some company."

http://www.hitbyatrain.com/discography/lyrics/songsA-E.htm#bigbrowneyes

knox said...

Oh, has there been dust-ups re: Florida? I must have missed it.

I tend to believe the commenter Florida is a moby, and a ham-handed one at that. It seemed obvious to me from the beginning.

edutcher said...

traditionalguy said...

edutcher...With all due respect for you and your opinions which are well spoken and always intelligent, how do you know who or what gender The commenter Florida was?

First, thanks for the compliment; second, Flo has said she is female a couple of times. I take people at their word unless experience dictates otherwise.

Always dangerous, I know.

Floydster said...

This is an example of that great faith that Althouse has in her readers. Faith that we will (a) know the DeShaney reference and (b) think that it is somehow funny or clever to invoke a phrase made famous because of gruesome child abuse.

Faith?

Well, I get the reference, professor -- and I find it humorless and offensive.

Ann Althouse said...

@Floydster Much more blatant is the joking about nuclear war.. by me and Bob Dylan.

jaed said...

@Meade:

What happens Tuesday? Was that a warning based on inside information? Should we batten down the hatches? ;-)

Meade said...

@jaed: No. Just a lame attempt at humor in reply to knox's comment. But battening down the hatches, on this pirate ship, would almost never be a bad nautical move. ;-)