November 25, 2009

"Despite the fact that Mr. Sparkman was found hands, feet and mouth bound with duct tape, rope around his neck and the word 'FED' written on his chest..."

"... analysis of the evidence determined Mr. Sparkman's death was self-inflicted."

Was he trying to jerk us all around? The official conclusion is that it was for the insurance, not for fame and deception.

42 comments:

Florida said...

Yes, but surely the existence of Sarah Palin's uterus and the rest of the right-wing nutjobs caused this man to lose all hope.

Thus, teabaggers like Althouse figuratively tied the noose, held the rope, and kicked the horse.

You should be held to account.

Signed,
Andrew

AllenS said...

Unfortunately, Charles Mansion never carried insurance, so the thought never occurred to him.

K said...

Perhaps Mr. Sullivan would like to issue an apology to the backwoods rubes and also Glenn Beck...

I'll not bother to hold my breath, of course...

AllenS said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Beta Conservative said...

I think Andrew makes a fair point.

Clearly this was an exercise in symbolism, exposing the crushing opression that is the Palin Womb, and the insensitive right wing nuttery that causes men to commit such acts.

If a kinder, gentler America would only allow Andrew to marry, while simultaneously destroying the Palin family, this would never happen.

EDH said...

Investigators had said earlier this month that they were eyeing the insurance scam scenario. That prompted right-wing pundits like Michelle Malkin to slam those who had speculated that Sparkman had been killed in an act of anti-government sentiment.

If it's a "slam" for "right-wing pundits like Michelle Malkin" to point out that those who attributed a homicide to your position on limited government did so without a shred of evidence, what do you call the original charge of instigation of murder?

Scott said...

Yeah, it will be interesting to see whether Mr. Intellectual Probity apologizes to Michelle Malkin.

If he's a man worthy of the name, he will.

Scott said...

Is it accurate to call Andrew a pseud at this point? He has an awful lot of education, but these days he's all about cheap shots and appeals to emotion.

jayne_cobb said...

Scott,

Actually Sullivan has a post "correcting" Malkin.

Scott said...

@jayne_cobb: This is not an apology, if that's what you're referring to.

jayne_cobb said...

I keep seeing people say what a tragic situation this is, and in regards to the suffering of Sparkman's friends and family it truly is.

As for Sparkman himself, I'm rather conflicted.

The man relied upon stereotypes to push this fraud. In this he only differs from Ashley Todd in the results and the motive (I doubt he expected the media firestorm that resulted).

I suppose the only thing that works in this situation is to hope that God has mercy on his soul (as it is too late to forgive and I would have trouble even if it were not).

jayne_cobb said...

Scott, it most certainly is not.

But it does provide one hell of an example of his inability to admit he was wrong.

Scott said...

That's what I mean. If he was a man, he would apologize.

Fred4Pres said...

Michelle Malkin slaps little Andrew Sullivan around enough that I almost called CPS...almost.

Andrew, you should be a man and just apologize for "asking questions" about Southern populist terrorism ginned up by Fox News and Rush Limbaugh. Just say you were proven wrong. But you did this on Trig Palin too.

Being Andrew Sullivan means never having to say you are sorry.

Bissage said...

This life insurance news comes as something of a disappointment to those of us who were rooting for autoerotic self-asphyxiation.

wv = listoman. Has nothing to do with Roger Daltrey.

Scott said...

Andrew is so post-male.

hdhouse said...

interesting that he found a way to duct tape his wrists....frankly it is very hard to do it with that stuff

Scott said...

Somebody ought to do a YouTube how-to video about it.

Jason said...

Thus spaketh our leading in-house practitioner of auto-erotic asphyxiation, hdhouse.

jayne_cobb said...

hdhouse,

It's not that difficult, at least not when there's $600k on the line.

What is difficult is doing it well.

The various press coverage seems to indicate that his hands were still rather loose which allowed him a decent amount of movement.

Larvell said...

It was fake, but accurate.

William said...

Just a conincidence that this happened at about the same time as the David Carradine case and Palin's appearance on Runner's World in a revealing outfit? It's a well known fact that outdoor enthusiasts sometimes eroticize their passion for fresh air and that Palin is to parkas as Giselle Bundchen is to thongs. Outdoor autoerotic asphyxiation is one of America's fastest growing perversions. The investigation is not complete until this eventuality and the possible Palin involvement in his death has been thoroughly investigated. It's all speculation at this stage, but we'll see how it plays out.

DADvocate said...

interesting that he found a way to duct tape his wrists....frankly it is very hard to do it with that stuff

What really seems to be hard to do is for leftie hate-mongers to admit they'r wrong.

vbspurs said...

I'm fairly sure Andrew Sullivan won't have a job at the Atlantic soon. He'll be sacked before mid-terms.

Florida said...

He'll be sacked before mid-terms.

Nah, the law precludes homosexuals from being fired.

They were hoping he'd be deported back to England to spread his AIDS disease in that country once he was arrested for drug possession here.

But Andrew used his connections in the Obama White House to get that charge dropped ... so for now we'll have to be vigilant not to get infected by his drippings until he's caught doing some other illegal activities.

But they'll never fire him.

Gays are protected. It's the main reason why a person becomes gay. You merely have to announce that you are gay and - voila - nobody can touch you any more.

It's why I've announced that I am now a gay Muslim who self-identifies as a black lesbian Palestinian tranny.

It is now against the law to even make me the slightest bit upset.

Plus, I get to use either bathroom.

1jpb said...

It's not like this guy's fraud was as easy to pick out as the Ashley Todd ordeal.

MrBuddwing said...

interesting that he found a way to duct tape his wrists....frankly it is very hard to do it with that stuff

Sparkman's hands were bound in front of him, not in back.

I'm thinking duct tape would be easier to convincingly bind around one's own wrists than, say, rope.

Handcuffs would have been even easier.

Another poster noted how Sparkman relied on "stereotypes" to perpetuate his fraud. I recall that we recently passed the 20th anniversary of the Charles Stuart case in Boston, in which a man who'd shot his pregnant wife in the head told the police a black man did it - and people believed it because they wanted to believe it.

Pastafarian said...

I wonder, did they investigate the possibility that this was just a tragic accident?

I mean, maybe this guy was just trying to duct tape his face to avoid frostbite, or maybe he had car trouble and he was trying to make a serpentine belt out of duct tape, and things just got out-of-hand.

mccullough said...

The life insurance companies are no doubt more relieved than Malkin and Beck.

But who is more disappointed, Sparkman's son or Andrew Sullivan?

Scott said...

After some apparent browbeating by his more adult peers, Sullivan issues another non-apology apology to Malkin.

He just doesn't get it, does he.

(If you are easily amused, try reading aloud as if it was being read by the actor Terry-Thomas (whose stage name I did not realize was hyphenated until I looked at the Wikipedia article).

John Lynch said...

I told you all it meant was that he'd had his last meal.

No one listens.

Rialby said...

John Lynch: coffee through nose. thanks.

Rialby said...

I'd like to ask some questions in the same way our friend Sully does. Here we go:

* Is it just a coincidence that Andrew Sullivan turned against George W Bush just as Barack Obama's star was on the rise?
* There may be evidence to suggest that Sully and Obama were both in Chicago, Boston, Washington DC and New York on a number of occasions during the same weekends. Does that strike anyone as odd?
* Many insiders have suggested that Barack Obama has engaged in homosexual relationships in the past.
* Readers have long known that Andrew Sullivan is a well known homosexual with very strong feelings for a man he cannot vote for but may be willing to do favors for.
* We need to keep our minds open to the possibility that Andrew Sullivan and Barack Obama are engaging in an extra-marital affair. Now, there's no hard evidence to support this, but there's no reason not to believe that both men would happily partner with each other, don't we?

bagoh20 said...

Blogger Larvell said...

"It was fake, but accurate."


Perfect.

Penny said...

William's request to study "Outdoor Autoerotic Asphyxiation" has been turned down. Instead, this year's grant money has been awarded to the study of "Media Shitstorms".

LonewackoDotCom said...

It wasn't just Sully that tried to politicize the incident. Here's my list, which is probably more comprehensive and less bloggy than other lists you've seen others linking to. If anyone would like to do something about this, hold those listed accountable, whether in their comments sections or by linking one of their names from your site to that post.

Jeremy said...

Florida - "Yes, but surely the existence of Sarah Palin's uterus hanging from the man's belt loop tells you he must have been desperate for children."

PatCA said...

Nah, I still think Glen Beck did it.

blake said...

Well, you know, if he hadn't done it, some reich wingers would have.

John Lynch said...

To be serious, what if someone had been charged with this crime? Faking a murder has consequences.

Penny said...

"Faking a murder has consequences."

Maybe so, John Lynch.

Would you mind staying on top of that theory while I check into your credentials?

It will only take a minute and a tablespoon of butter, three tablespoons of maple syrup and one fool who CLAIMS to hate breakfast.

Firehand said...

Some years back in a criminal justice class we spent some time on suicides, and my daughter had a long session on the subject in a psychology class; people come up with the damnedest ways to check out, especially when trying to make it look like a murder or accident.