September 18, 2009

"A new star has most definitely been born. He stands about 5 feet tall and when he slips that buff on top of his head, he transforms into a pirate, missing tooth and all."

"He was discovered on Survivor, the greatest reality show of all time, his name is Russell Hantz and in addition to being absolutely captivating on television, he writes and delivers some of the greatest material ever heard in 20 seasons of Survivor.... I must admit, I am instantly intrigued by a villain who spouts as his philosophy: 'The most important thing is honesty.' Then proceeds to make alliances with everyone on his tribe. 'I have an alliance with the dumb short-haired blonde. I have another alliance with the even dumber long-haired blonde. It’s my dumb-ass girl alliance.'"

34 comments:

David said...

Most disgusting show on TV.

John said...

Let me guess: he's not here to make friends.

Joe said...

He's 5'6" tall, how is that "about 5 feet tall"

miller said...

I'm sorry, but this is something people watch?

Back to my printed tomes!

michaele said...

He is fascinating in a primal reptilian way. I can't imagine how he is going to last very long because he is not very subtle. But he is entertaining and I hope to have the chance to be appalled by him for awhile.

nomilk said...

That show is still on?


WV: erymnoli: Irish cannoli.

traditionalguy said...

His personality type is the number one reason people need lawyers to guard them in documenting their business transactions and life in general, in fact whenever money and property need to survive a crafty attacker. Thanks for the job security, all you evil guys and gals.

essaybee said...

Survivor is the most disgusting show on TV? That's absurd. There is a lot of competition for that slot and Survivor doesn't even make the top 30. Maury. Jerry. Oprah. America's Got Talent. Anything on E. Dr. Phil. Hung. Housewives of anyplace. SVU.

You, sir, do not watch nearly enough TV to even speculate on the most disgusting TV show. For your pennance you will spend the weekend watching basic cable and report back to us Monday with a list and ranking of the 50 worst shows on television.

Ann Althouse said...

"Survivor" is the greatest reality show of all time and one of the best TV shows ever. The photography in HD alone is pretty cool. But the display of human behavior is fascinating and funny.

Penny said...

These "win big money" shows are extremely popular, with Survivor probably being number one of the genre. Over the years we start to see "shows within shows", and by that, I mean approaches taken by many of the contestants to ensure that even if they don't win the big prize, they are setting themselves up for the aftershow money that comes from fleeting TV fame.

I think we might be surprised at how many contestants have a selected agent BEFORE they even show up to compete.

While it used to be said that all was fair in love and war, I think we can adjust that for today's culture to include "and making some money for myself".

LonewackoDotCom said...

I've been in more dangerous situations in the mtns of SoCal - wimpy as they were - than they've had on any of the Survivor shows. It'd be great if they were more about the titular topic rather than what amounts to office politics.

Penny said...

More tits you say?

I would never step between a man and his imagination, but come on! We're talking easy money around this "Survivor" watercooler.

Just imagine how many tits that money can buy.

Don't tell me you aren't "tempted", Lonewacko?

-Peder said...

My wife and I are torn on Russell. I think that his bigger than life villainy could be fun. She's already tired of him. I'll probably agree with her by season's end.
Ann, you're absolutely right that Survivor is the best reality show ever. There is no better capture of the sneaky side of humanity than this. This is our first season being able to watch in HD and it's spectacular.

Shanna said...

I'm not a tv snob, I've watched plenty of reality tv, but I can never get through a whole season of survivor. I tried a couple times, season 2 and the race war season (tm somebody else). I always get bored with the thing. It is lovely film, though, especially when they are on an island.

I prefer reality shows that involve some sort of talent competition.

Penny said...

"There is no better capture of the sneaky side of humanity than this."

Well, maybe one or two better examples, Peder, but soon enough, cameras will be everywhere.

And that's a GOOD thing, unless you pick your nose?

You don't pick your nose, do you?

chuck b. said...

"20 seasons of Survivor"..?!

Holy fucking shit hell goddamn motherfuck cocksucking whore! Shit! FUCK! Really?!

Beth said...

I hope he wins and enjoys his money, 'cause he's going to hell for that Katrina story.

Penny said...

Oh stop, Beth. Of course he isn't.

We have become a nation that appreciates the absolute brilliance of a lie, well told and understood by some wink wink crowd looking left when they should be looking right.

Penny said...

Let me try to clarify....

Our language has gotten muddied.

The "right" isn't always right, and while the "left" is always to the left of those of the right, it is only so, relatively speaking.

What does the "left" have to say about their OWN "rights"?

Last I heard, it was something along the lines of..."I WON".

Beth said...

Penny, I don't quite get your point, but that's okay, you didn't get mine, either.

I don't care that he's lying. He's going to hell for that particular lie. What fun is hell if we can't send people there, anyway?

Penny said...

Hello, Beth.

Can we define the "he who"? Instead of the "wa hoo"?

Penny said...

You can call me old-fashioned, but I would like very much if we left the wahoos over there...>>>>

Beth said...

I wouldn't call you old-fashioned, mainly because I can't figure out what the hell you're talking about.

Penny said...

And that doesn't surprise me, Beth.

-Peder said...

Penny, I mean that Survivor captures sneaky in a game reference. In the sense that a lie in poker (aka bluff) isn't the same thing as lying about policy proposals.

Penny said...

Peder, all I can say is that you notice what I notice.

Ralph L said...

Can we define the "he who"? Instead of the "wa hoo"?
I'd think you goils would know it's called a "hoo-ha."

bagoh20 said...

I don't watch survivor, but I know the show. I have a question or 3: Do the contestants ever do the horizontal bop on the show? Have any gotten married after. Have there been any acts of cannibalism?

Penny said...

"Can we define the "he who"? Instead of the "wa hoo"?
I'd think you goils would know it's called a "hoo-ha.""

Ralph? I dare not talk about how the goils know about the "hoo ha".

We "hoo ha", then wink, and....

Point at that >>>>>>

Synova said...

I get that some people like watching these things but for me it's as painful as laughing at a wino or mentally retarded person. I'd rather watch a Lifetime television disease of the week special. Granted, I'd rather get a bikini wax than watch Lifetime television.

Beth said...

Lifetime would run your movie of the week as The Waxing of Synova - they like those Xing of Whosis titles.

Pelalusa said...

My tagline for him is: "Barack Obama with an Honesty Streak"

Bissage said...

I’m not quite sure what everyone is talking about, here, but my brother-in-law used to work for a pharmaceutical manufacturer so we have a big box full of various topical antibiotic creams, muscle rubs, anti-itch lotions, anti-wart stuff, etc.

We’ve had it all for a couple of years and it’s getting past the expiration dates.

What am I talking about?

Well, you see, I was raised so you never, never, EVER let ANYTHING go to waste, so, little by little, I’ve been using them up by rubbing them on my penis.

I’ve been doing this for maybe two weeks, now.

It doesn’t seem to be doing me any harm and . . . well . . . you never know.

FOR SCIENCE!1!!!!!!!11!!!!!!!

[gives the well-recognized “for science” fist salute]

Synova said...

LOL, Beth, I'm sorry I didn't see that last night.

Ouch.