June 5, 2009

"Carradine was found with a rope 'tied around his...'"

Yes, yes, we know.

Glad to know he wasn't suicidal.

ADDED: Be careful, guys!
Officially, more than 500 young men (they [are] almost all under 30) die in America each year from AEA related accidents. The real number is thought to be much higher given the unwillingness of some parents to disclose the graphic nature of their son's death. Apparently, some parents would prefer people to think their son was suicidal rather than sexually adventurous....

Chances are that every guy they cut down with his fist around his dick thought he had devised a "safe" way to do this. And not all victims are dim bulbs whose deaths served the interests of progressive evolution. Some smart guys have been found with their thickened tongues lolling from their mouths, including (reputedly) Michael Hutchence, front-man for the rock group INXS, cult cartoonist Vaughn Bode and Stephan Milligan, a British Member of Parliament. Likewise not all deaths are the result of stupidity or unseen failures in the fail-safe mechanism. Suffocation and orgasm in combination can place an unbearable strain on the heart.
I've long deplored that awful death cliché: "He died doing what he loved." But here, where it really applies, people are probably not going to say it.

52 comments:

Pogo said...

Although metaphorically sex is death, in part, in practice it is best to keep those two concepts in separate rooms.

Avoid mixing either with taxes, if possible.




I hope my obituary does not contain the phrase "found in a hotel room closet", even without mention of any sort of rope.

Pogo said...

Can "found in a hotel room closet" ever be a good thing?

Pogo said...

I suppose it depends on whose closet, who finds you, your state of existence, and the ensuing reaction.

EnigmatiCore said...

What's the deal with famous white guys on the other side of the planet and liking to choke themselves and the chicken simultaneously? And not all that well, as it seems?

Bissage said...

This is a cautionary tale and it’s high time I stop messing around with that lamp socket and the dimmer switch.

Pogo said...

I mean if Ms. Jolie found me in her hotel room closet and was all Hell, yes!!! and we start dancin' in the moonlight, feeling warm and bright, such a fine and natural sight, I mean, that'd be a good thing, wouldn't it?

Especially without a rope.

EDH said...

Get Thai'd! [Tied?]

You're talking to a tourist

Whose every move's among the purest

I get my kicks above the
waistline, sunshine
...



I posted this last night, but kind of late. Follow this excerpt from...

One Night in Bangkok



One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble
Not much between despair and ecstasy
One night in Bangkok and the tough guys tumble
Can't be too careful with your company
I can feel the devil walking next to me

Siam's gonna be the witness
To the ultimate test of cerebral fitness
This [rope] grips me more than would a Muddy old river or reclining Buddha

And thank God I'm only watching the game -- controlling it --

I don't see you guys rating
The kind of mate I'm contemplating
I'd let you watch, I would invite you
But the queens we use would not excite you

So you better go back to your bars, your temples, your massage
parlours --

TRO said...

As a criminal investigator in the military we ran into many of these "deaths by misadventure." Not that it's a military thing, just pointing out that it's more common than people know.

Fred4Pres said...

Just being found dead in a hotel room in Bangkok is going to raise some eyebrows.

Still, far less embarassing than this death.

And probably better than going out like Louis Kahn, the architect, did. Kahn was found dead and bankrupt in a bathroom stall in Grand Central Station.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

It must be that asymetrical brain thingy you guys have going.

Now, I'm all for a good time, but I seriously don't get this activity. At least no small animals were harmed (thanks Fred4Pres for that nasty mental image first thing in the morning... ugh)

rhhardin said...

I'd suppose a half hitch is right for this application.

Penny said...

""Can "found in a hotel room closet" ever be a good thing?""

I would imagine that maids the world over find some very nice things at the bottom of closets. Dead bodies excluded of course.

Zach said...

"Misadventure" is a curiously upbeat word. Nonjudgmental, almost optimistic. You can almost hear the investigator's admission:

"Well, you have to admit, it he had made it across the canyon, it would have been pretty awesome.

Michael Hasenstab said...

I thought hog lassoing was a rodeo event, not a kung fu move.

William said...

Cricket wandered the world in search of bliss and, ironically, it was to be found hanging in the closet all the time......If I were suicidal and I wanted to fool the insurance investigators, I would hang myself with a silk rope and piles of pornography at my feet....Hypoxic euphoria has a nice sound to it, but I'd be willing to settle for plain vanilla euphoria. Hypoxic sounds like overkill. Masturbation should not be a form of high risk sex in the same way that meat loaf should not be made with exotic spices.

John Kindley said...

"Chances are that every guy they cut down with his fist around his dick thought he had devised a 'safe' way to do this."

I guess just holding your breath wouldn't work? I don't know why it wouldn't, since according to the linked article a plastic bag on the head has the same effect as a noose. If the only way it works is to restrict oxygen beyond what you can do voluntarily, so that you have to brush right up against unconsciousness, anybody who does this would seem to have to be at least semi-suicidal anyway. Or extremely stupid, despite what the linked article says. Seriously, you would seem to have a better chance of survival playing one round of Russian Roulette with a six-shooter.

AllenS said...

Your in Bangkok forchristsakes! You could of had 25 women doing all kinds of things in your hotel room forchristsakes! Kung foo? How's about dumb fool.

Pogo said...

Now "fondled in a hotel room closet in Bangkok", now that would be fine.

Or "profound in a hotel room closet in Bangkok". Like maybe quoting Shakespeare to the maid.

All much better than "found":
"frowned, renowned, mill around, monkey around, passed around, and theater in the round in a hotel room closet in Bangkok".

Pick one.


Not "basset hound", though. Nuh uh.

TRO said...

Dust Bunny Queen said:

"It must be that asymetrical brain thingy you guys have going."

What makes you think it is always a guy? Trust me, it isn't.

Zach said:

"Misadventure" is a curiously upbeat word. Nonjudgmental, almost optimistic. You can almost hear the investigator's admission:

"Well, you have to admit, it he had made it across the canyon, it would have been pretty awesome."

I've said and heard other investigators say things very similar to that. You have to deal with this stuff the best way you can.

AlphaLiberal said...

Ugh. Just ugh.

Penny said...

I wonder if masturbating during a severe asthma attack would the same "WOW" factor?

Pogo said...

Pogo, excessive commenter, pwned in a hotel room closet in Bangkok.

Lem said...

A 72 year old man was apparently still engaging in the pleasures of the flesh.
Look on the bright side. ;)

Pastafarian said...

Can't we be spared these details? Do we have to know every sordid thing about people and rob them of any dignity they ever had?

From all accounts, this was a thoughtful, intelligent man. Whoever makes money by publishing lurid details like this is beneath contempt.

Pastafarian said...

Penny -- just be careful and keep your inhaler close by. Let us know how it works out.

TRO said...

"Can't we be spared these details? Do we have to know every sordid thing about people and rob them of any dignity they ever had?

From all accounts, this was a thoughtful, intelligent man. Whoever makes money by publishing lurid details like this is beneath contempt."

I don't think less of him because of this. Frankly, I would rather hear this was an accidental death rather than suicide.

None of us are angels.

NKVD said...

I have no idea whether a celebrity has or had dignity. Carradine discussed his excessive drug use in interviews, was known to drink some, was married, what, 5 times?

I am not seeing a lot of dignity in that life.

But even with all of that, engaging in a sexual practice that leads to a death that might embarass one's offspring - finally, sir, have you no decency?

I think we know the answer to that.

raf said...

"But here, where it really applies, people are probably not going to say it."

Perversity prevails. You can't deter me....

[clears throat in preparation for public declamation]

Well, at least he died doing something he loved.

rcocean said...

"Nothing in his life
Became him like the leaving it."

This is kind of the opposite.

Lem said...

The lesson here is as old as time - Treat the penis with Respect ;)

Ophir said...

I love that Althouse linked to website called Altpenis.

Lem said...

The question is could this tragedy have been averted by a decent agent?
These people have needs for cristsake!

Somebody fell down on the job.

Lem said...

And another thing...

I know I may be casting the net a little wide but,

Today is not a good day for feminism ;)

John Kindley said...

I think we have to consider the possibility that Carradine's death and the deaths of others in this manner aren't accidental. Since I presume there is a shortage of living people who've engaged in this practice without the intention of killing themselves and who've talked about their experiences, this practice may just be a method of suicide that's caught on. The idea may be that it smooths over the presumably unpleasant experience of hanging one's self and keeps the suicide from backing out by focusing on a goal. Probably many people who commit suicide care about what people will think of them after their death, but probably many others in the suicidal state of mind couldn't care less.

TitusisHornyFromWatchingLandscaper said...

How does one even go about doing that?

I would never put a rope around my hog.

72 years old and still jerking it, there is good news in his death.

m00se said...

I think we all need to be supportive for men with this lifestyle so that they can feel comfortable coming out of the wardrobe...

chickenlittle said...

A little gallows humor here.

Aaron said...

yike... too much information...

of course i still say you have to wonder. I can guarantee you there will be conspiracy theories.

Sheepman said...

Bound for Gory?

AlphaLiberal said...

Wanked himself to death.

How's that for form, grasshopper?

TitusisHornyFromWatchingLandscaper said...

I did a guy with a Prince Albert once. No big deal, somewhat interesting, but not that great.

I don't like putting any props on my hog. My hog stands out alone, it doesn't need any adornments or ornaments.

thank you.

TitusisHornyFromWatchingLandscaper said...

Some guys have to travel to other countries to have sex and that is very sad.

Lem said...

Thai police completed an autopsy on Carradine Friday but so far have not released the results.

I think would be wise not to release, divulge this information to the public.
The last thing we need is an auto-amusement epidemic on top of swine inflenza.

Beth said...

Penny, having an orgasm during an asthma attack is a good thing - it opens up the airways. At least I've been told that.

Lem said...

If it is true that some detainees had orgasm during waterboarding (and there is no way of knowing because Obama won’t release all the memos like Chaney wanted) I can’t see how we are still calling it torture.

This is terrible. They sound so much better in my head ;)

AlphaLiberal said...

Stuff like this does make me feel old-fashioned.

traditionalguy said...

Sad, sad, sad. The survivors must feel low as they can get to realize that they could not love their family member enough to satisfy this craving. Suicide is cruel to the family survivors, but this death is a bigger defeat without any easy way to feel OK later.

Lem said...

The survivors must feel low as they can get to realize that they could not love their family member enough to satisfy this craving..

"Learning to love yourself. It is the greatest love of all."

Lem said...

The Preppie murder in Central Park.
Of course!
How could I have forgotten about this?

MarkW said...

It must be that asymetrical brain thingy you guys have going.

Now, I'm all for a good time, but I seriously don't get this activity.

I'm a guy and I fundamentally don't get it either (but I fundamentally don't get a lot of the oddball things people do for and during and instead of sex). But any practice where, if you fall asleep after orgasm, you die...well the wife and I would have been found dead in our bed a long time ago.

AlphaLiberal said...

This is a weird read!. On Carradine

montana urban legend said...

"I've long deplored that awful death cliché: "He died doing what he loved." But here, where it really applies, people are probably not going to say it."

This is the funniest thing Althouse has said... Ever.