May 22, 2009

It was worth losing "American Idol" to not have to sing that crappy "No Boundaries" song.

When Adam Lambert heard he'd lost, he hugged Kris Allen and said "You have to sing that song now."

Ha ha. The winner has to close the show with a rendition of the special finale song, which is always bad — always bad in the same damned way. One difference this year was that the song was written by Kara DioGuardi — who's also on the judge's panel. (A terribly irritating intrusion on the show, by the way.)

Kris said:
"I was like ‘Ohhhh gosh!' I was like ‘OK, just sing it!’ I thought it went OK.”
You just know the 2 of them talked before the big results show and decided it was a win-win situation: Either you get to be the American Idol or you get to avoid singing that damned song.
“I like the song. It’s tough to sing, I’m not gonna lie. It’s a rough song, but Kara's a great writer,” Kris said. “It was so much fun working with her in the studio. She’s a lot of fun to work with.”
Kara's a great writer... but even great writers write a lot of crap.

Here's Kris performing the onerous task.

(Also in the linked article: Kris won by a lot.)

30 comments:

EDH said...

Looks like he's work'n on a "neck beard," not too successfully.

John said...

Ann,

I just don't get it. How do you watch that crap year after year. For a while it was kind of funny as a joke. I mean who wasn't devistated when Sanjia got robbed a couple of years ago. But really, it has got to stop. American Idol is an infected cancaroid on civilization. If the UK can refuse admittance to Michael Savage, can't the U.S. refuse entrance to Simmon Cowell?

Penny said...

There is no American Idol without Simon. Who could make it through the early weeks of the marginally talented wannabes without Simon's biting commentary.

John said...

"There is no American Idol without Simon. Who could make it through the early weeks of the marginally talented wannabes without Simon's biting commentary."

That is the idea. Of course, Cowell is himself a marginally talented wannabe. If you only listened to Cowell you would think he was a 21st Century John Hammond as an A&R man. In reality, he was nothing but a third rate suit who discovered a few forgettable pop bands and had his best success with novelty records. I mean when Curiosity Killed the Cat and Sinnetta are you biggest finds, you hardly are in a position to judge anyone.

Penny said...

So you say Simon experienced the American Dream first hand, John? Not one thing wrong with that.

John said...

"So you say Simon experienced the American Dream first hand, John? Not one thing wrong with that."

I don't begrudge him his success. I just think his show sucks. I also think he is not a particularly good judge of talent or does anything that the average music listener coudln't do just with a little added snark.

MadisonMan said...

How do you watch that crap year after year.

Perhaps we should all send our TV Watch lists to you, Mr. Arbiter of Good Taste, for approval.

I like Antiques Roadshow (coming to Madison soon!). Does that pass muster? How about Star Trek TOS? Is that okay. I earnestly crave your opinion on this, as it means so much to me.

John said...

"Perhaps we should all send our TV Watch lists to you, Mr. Arbiter of Good Taste, for approval."

I don't think you have to set the good taste bar very high to disqualify American Idol. It is a free country. People can watch anything they want. And I am free to make fun of them for it.

American Idol is one of those types of things that used to only go on in Europe. Before American Idol, whenever a European would look down his nose at how uncultured America was, the American could say "but crap like Eurovision is wildly popular over there". And the Euro really wouldn't have an answer. Now, sadly, you can't say that.

elHombre said...

Oh please. AI is a distraction like variety shows used to be.

What should tv watchers watch, advocacy news, dumb, preachy sitcoms, the myriad iterations of CSI, revisionist history programs?

John said...

"Oh please. AI is a distraction like variety shows used to be."

I will take the old Carol Burnett show over AI any day. As far as what we are supposed to watch, that is a good point. I am not one of those "I don't own a TV" types. I do own a TV and do watch it. I used to watch network shows. I remember watching shows like Cheers and Seinfeld and Hill Street Blues or even Law and Order when it first came one. Now, there isn't one network show I watch. Not one. My TV watching consists of a few sports shows (Mike and Mike in the Morning, PTI), a few food shows (Good Eats), and a few of the higher end history channel shows (Naked Archeologist being one of them) and of course Deadliest Catch. Deadliest Catch has better, more interesting characters than any TV drama. You just can't make those guys up.

MadisonMan said...

Yes, and I am free to make fun of you making fun of it. And you are free to make fun of me making fun of you making fun of it. Lather, Rinse, Repeat.

Or in your case, Blather.

MadisonMan said...

I am reminded of the August New York Times' (Strike 1!) music critic, Jon Harmonica, on Kris Allen. He doesn't seem to like him, but how can he have credibility when his favorite Gokey performance (Strike 2!) was Jesus take the Wheel (WTF?!!!) (Strike 3!)

John said...

Madison Man,

If American Idol is not worthy of derision what is? Is it your opinion that anything that is popular has value and shouldn't be subjected to criticism? No doubt if the thread were about professional wrestling or something you couldn't stand, your criticism would be thoughtful and serious social criticism as opposed to my blather about American Idol.

It is a cheap to trick to attempt to mask being a pompus windbag by defending the common. Yes, Madison Man, you are just like everyone else. You watch American Idol. Only a poser could deny its greatness.

SteveR said...

The only thing more illogical than anyone, much less sophisticted people like anyone who would post or comment here, enjoying AI, is that anyone could think spending any time criticizing the show and those who watch it, made them look smart.

Don't like it? Ignore the posts.

John said...

"The only thing more illogical than anyone, much less sophisticted people like anyone who would post or comment here, enjoying AI, is that anyone could think spending any time criticizing the show and those who watch it, made them look smart."

What difference does it make if a post makes you look smart or not? I just hate the show and wonder why on earth people watch. How can you watch that crap, is a perfectly acceptable quesiton. It is not my fault no one seems to have an answer to it.

Penny said...

Let me take a stab at an answer, John. It's a simple diversion, just like watching sports on TV. People love the competition and cheering for their favorites week after week.

No one's brain is going to turn into a marshmallow because they watch. It gives you something to talk about no matter where you go. It's a "safe" topic, and face it, more interesting than talking about the weather.

Jennifer said...

And for someone else "how can you waste your time writing comments on some blog on the Internet" is a perfectly acceptable question. Of course, for most of us neither is a particularly valuable question as it doesn't really matter how another person manages to enjoy something that we don't.

On to more important things...the very carefully worded answers given in the attached article cracked me up when I saw them, too. These two have managed to express themselves on this account better than any before them.

SteveR said...

The impression left is not "how can you watch this?" but "you have to be an idiot to watch it".

You don't like AI, I don't like snobs.

John said...

"No one's brain is going to turn into a marshmallow because they watch. It gives you something to talk about no matter where you go. It's a "safe" topic, and face it, more interesting than talking about the weather."

Fair enough. I will admit I watched it when Sanjia was in there. You will never convince me the whole thing is not fixed. No way does someone who apeals to the 10 to 14 year old girl demographic ever lose a TV call in competition. Sanjia not winning that is like the Jonas Brothers losing a telepoll to Michael Bolton. Can't happen. Wouldn't happen. It only didn't happen because Fox realized his winning would have killed the show. So they stepped in and fixed it to ensure that he couldn't win.

John said...

"You don't like AI, I don't like snobs."

How does calling out AI as crap make you a snob? By that standard doesn't criticizing anything that is common or popular make one a snob.

Joe said...

Cowell is himself a marginally talented wannabe.

Cowell is a successful record producer. If that level of success is being a wannabe, I'd love to be so marginally talented.

MadisonMan said...

It's a "safe" topic, and face it, more interesting than talking about the weather.

What??? What could be more interesting than weather!?

There is a huge field experiment ongoing this week to study tornadoes. Mother Nature isn't cooperating. Click here to see the storm reports from yesterday.

No severe weather for 24 hours in May is exceedingly rare.

SteveR said...

John, I'm obviously not as smart as you but I'll call it being a snob.

lyssalovelyredhead said...

John, you were sounding really un-fun until I learned that you like Good Eats. Good call- Alton Brown is awesome! (Just watch for the education and the entertainment, though- most of his actual recipes are pretty meh, for some reason.)

Meanwhile, on the post topic- the crappy "No Boundaries" song was exactly why I am really happy that Kris won and Adam didn't, even though Adam clearly lead on talent. He did as good a job as could be expected with it, but it so isn't him, and I didn't want to see him stuck with that sort of thing all year long. Now he's free to do his thing, and Kris (who's great, too) can use the show's fame to get a hold and do his thing in time. Everybody wins!

Cedarford said...

John - "If the UK can refuse admittance to Michael Savage, can't the U.S. refuse entrance to Simmon Cowell?"

Funny! And we have thousands of hours of video of Simon Cowell directing hate speech at hopeful American contestants. "Frankly, I have to confess my skin crawled when I was hearing your attempt at that song. I once accidentally stepped on a cat that sounded better.."

================
John - "....and of course Deadliest Catch. Deadliest Catch has better, more interesting characters than any TV drama. You just can't make those guys up."

That show was interesting for a season, but it is depressingly formulaic.

1. Anyone who has watched it from the beginning has seen several thousand identical-looking crab pots raised with some crab, no crab, lots of crab.

2. Each show devotes 1/3rd or so of it's airing to the "trials and tribulations of the Greenhorn". Normally some jamoke we would not give two hoots about if we met them in real life.

3. 500-550 iterations of the same "deck ballet".

4. 1/3rd of the show to captains endlessly saying, in varying words, that they hoped to catch lots of crab and hope they have good weather.

5. 2800 2-3 minute shots of deckhands whooping or grumbling...no doubt using their boat as an analog to the same things that made them happy or grumble at Walla Walla State Prison.

6. The usual "important radar map shot" showing the location of a boat on the Bering Sea done 4-5 times a show. Along with the all-importage "crab poundage tally" - which was important when the show started when it was a limited fishing time free for all, but absent of actual drama since they went with a quota 3 years ago.

Honestly, the last season's high drama was whether or not "Captain Phil" would kill himself or not with his diet of cigarettes and junk food during the actual fishing, or croak undramatically, later, on land.

Synova said...

My girly-girl (of three) just loves Deadliest Catch.

That and Dirty Jobs.

I tease her that she should move to Alaska when she grows up.

All the kids like Good Eats and Myth Busters.

Kurt said...

I know I'm late to this discussion, but I've got to say that the article you linked to made me laugh. As I wrote here on Tuesday night, I hated that song and voted for Kris partly because I couldn't bear the thought of having to hear Adam perform it again.

Synova said...

Listening to "that song" side by side both of them... Kris is better because the song is more forgettable when he does it.

;-)

kentuckyliz said...

I think Adam has a great career touring as the guest lead vocalist for screaming 70s/80s rock bands whose lead vocalists have aged and they can't scream on pitch any more. Him singing with KISS proved that that's his talent niche.

I liked Alexis Grace.

kentuckyliz said...

Now on to America's Best Dancer!!!