Althouse: Breast implants.

April 9, 2009

Breast implants.

The career move.

62 comments:

Peter V. Bella said...: Not that there’s a BigLaw swimsuit competition. There isn’t.

Yet.; 4/9/09, 9:47 AM
Bissage said...: Well, I don’t know how much fake jugs will help a professional career but it sure seems to improve one’s chances of snaring Michael Phelps.

Yow!; 4/9/09, 9:48 AM
ricpic said...: A radical step to take when the wonder bra's available.; 4/9/09, 9:51 AM
save_the_rustbelt said...: This violates my well researched theorem of inverse proportionality.

In general (there are exceptions):

The bigger the boobs the lower the IQ.

But not everyone can be an intellectual, huh?; 4/9/09, 9:51 AM
john said...: Bissage - Micheal is striding right past her (boobs). What does that mean?

This reads like "news" stories you see whenever you open Internet Explorer (or Parade Magazines) - bought, paid for, and created by ad writers.; 4/9/09, 9:58 AM
rhhardin said...: It's like kissing a beachball, Imus reported the effect.

There was one woman at work who one day wore some kind of skirt with suspenders and a white shirt, and the suspenders (the math department could not help noticing) each took a distinctly great-circle route from shoulder to skirt. The question immediately came up whether the suspender lay completely in a plane, or was there another component; a dimensional question; a question never resolved, even after lunch.

I prefer smaller breasts myself, but a girl has to cater to the perceived market I guess.; 4/9/09, 10:03 AM
Bissage said...: [J]ohn, it means I couldn't find a picture on the internet of Mr. Phelps chugging vodka and groping her golden bozos, LOL!; 4/9/09, 10:04 AM
former law student said...: Bosomy women have a harder time being taken seriously, because most men never really get past the 13 year old boy stage of fascination.

Moreover, (Trooper York can confirm or deny) any woman who has to wear suits for a living will find that big boobs make buying tailored suits and dress blouses more of a chore.; 4/9/09, 10:32 AM
Trooper York said...: Kelly Pickler from Idol went out and got giant sized ones once she got some dough, but she was on last night and they seemed a lot smaller.

Maybe it's a seasonal thing. Like strappy sandals and scarves.; 4/9/09, 10:33 AM
Trooper York said...: Very true former law student which is why women with that issue should not buy boring business suits but only shop in specialty stores such as Lee Lee's Valise which has a whole line of work appropriate dresses that fit superbly and will only serve to get you noticed in the right way.; 4/9/09, 10:36 AM
Trooper York said...: The practice of wearing staid and boring suits only serves to make a woman look more like a man. That is something that works in the man’s favor since the woman is playing on his turf. But a well tailored and smart looking dress would give a look that is both professional and very attractive without being gaudy.

If you have it ladies, use it. And if you don’t have it, let us present the illusion that you do so you still look great.; 4/9/09, 10:42 AM
Peter Hoh said...: Just wait until the Canadians develop a magnetically levitated micro-boob. I wonder if it will have micro-grippers.; 4/9/09, 10:43 AM
Trooper York said...: Recently we have been seeing a run of professors who are buying dresses as well as several lawyers as well. A Donna Ricco,Anna Scholz or in paticular the Olivia Harper Dresses that my wife designs have been super popular with both groups. Avialabe of course online at leeleesvalise.com.

Now I return you to your regularly scheduled programing.; 4/9/09, 10:45 AM
Ron said...: [slaps forehead] That's why I'm in the crapper! Thank goodness I'm not responsible! I'll be hyping up that decolletage forthwith!; 4/9/09, 10:49 AM
Lem Vibe Bandit said...: A few years back workers discovered the remains of a headless body that was later identified by her implants serial numbers.

This is brilliant I thought.

B4 you date somebody you can look up her boob-fax report ;); 4/9/09, 10:56 AM
Bissage said...: A very common mistake that women make when they get phony Manchesters is they don't have a third one put on the back, for dancing.; 4/9/09, 10:59 AM
traditionalguy said...: The story goes back and forth between saying it is all a self confidence inner self image issue to admitting the truth. The truth is that a female associate is an image used by the firm's owners and clients. Is it Pimping a little bit? But the firm wants its beautiful trophy associates to be in good taste like the highest priced of women. They want Mercedes quality, but not racing cars in their Vehicle's and in their trophy Women's images. Not that there is anything wrong with what they are calling "aesthetics" in the legal profession. Straightened teeth are a similar issue. Practical advice: do enlarge to a 36C, but not to a 38D. These aesthetic issues will come into play in any performance oriented career, like teaching. And with the unable to retire 60+ guys and gals competing with the 30 to 50 age performers there is going to be be lots of cosmetic surgery done. Body style and paint jobs are the preference issues in the cars we want to be seen driving and also in the people we want to be seen surrounding us. Remember Peter Faulk and his car and clothes in Columbo? That does not work in real life.; 4/9/09, 11:03 AM
Chennaul said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 4/9/09, 11:06 AM
Lem Vibe Bandit said...: Practical advice: do enlarge to a 36C, but not to a 38D.

Will those be street legal ;); 4/9/09, 11:22 AM
Lem Vibe Bandit said...: I wonder if implants were covered in the Bill Clintons patients bill of rights?; 4/9/09, 11:39 AM
chickelit said...: There must be something to this. I noticed both a plastic surgeon and a fertility clinic directly across the street from a BigLaw office were I once worked.; 4/9/09, 11:47 AM
Lem Vibe Bandit said...: Any truth to reports that before the plane splashed on the Hudson women with implants were asked to move up to first class?; 4/9/09, 11:48 AM
kalmia said...: > A significant percentage of
> these patients were, in fact,
> female lawyers....While no
> doctor would identify their
> patients by name, they all
> confirmed “a decent percentage”
> of their clients were lawyers.

This article appears to be saying something about the role of female lawyers in "BigLaw's male-dominated culture." And yet, female lawyers tend to make more money than the average female worker. Maybe this female lawerly boob-enhancement phenomenon has more to do with having enough discretionary income to be able to afford plastic surgery. I'm guessing that a lot of women with high incomes opt for this type of plastic surgery, no matter what their profession--or even if they have no profession at all. This article seems to be full of a lot of silly armchair psychologizing.; 4/9/09, 11:54 AM
Lem Vibe Bandit said...: This is an outrage.

You men to tell me some of these women were bailed out and they didn’t put up the implants to try and help these businesses bounce back?; 4/9/09, 12:04 PM
William said...: If someone can figure out a way of developing breast implants made out of brown fat, there's a sure Nobel Prize in it.; 4/9/09, 12:07 PM
Darcy said...: rustbelt: Ok. You got me back for the crack about Toledo. ;-); 4/9/09, 12:17 PM
Lem Vibe Bandit said...: Tough crowd Althousia.; 4/9/09, 12:20 PM
save_the_rustbelt said...: Darcy:

It was just a generalization! There are exceptions.

I see you are in the legal business in Michigan. Lawyer or student?

My Michigan "mansion" is north of Lansing. My Ohio place is a suburb of that wonderful city, Toledo.

Friends?; 4/9/09, 12:38 PM
Minzo said...: I shall be keeping abreast of this story.; 4/9/09, 12:40 PM
Darcy said...: LOL. Yes,of course we're friends, rustbelt! I was teasing you.

My palace is between Detroit and Ann Arbor, btw.; 4/9/09, 12:46 PM
vet66 said...: I thought the goal was to distract the jurors from inconvenient facts? Silly me!

Nothing says "Hung Jury" like decolletage decorating the banister while making a point!

Justice isn't blind!; 4/9/09, 12:54 PM
knox said...: “The majority of professional women, including lawyers, who get breast augmentation surgery, really don’t want anyone at work to be able to notice,” says New York-based plastic surgeon Doctor Matthew Schulman. “For professional women, it’s much more about their own satisfaction and the satisfaction of their partner.”

buuuuuuuuullllllllllshiiiiiiiiiiiiit; 4/9/09, 1:02 PM
Anonymous said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 4/9/09, 1:28 PM
Peter V. Bella said...: The question here is; will boobs ruin the legal profession.

Trooper, you are a shameless sedlf promoter. The ony reason you want to get women into the store is render your professional services; personally fitting them in appropriate bras.; 4/9/09, 1:39 PM
dannyboy said...: More than a mouthful is a waste people.; 4/9/09, 1:47 PM
save_the_rustbelt said...: Darby:

I will wave Friday on when I pass your mansion.

Going to Toledo to see the cute and adorable grandchildren.; 4/9/09, 1:52 PM
dannyboy said...: I always thought babes who get boob jobs are in the same category as those guys who spend money on crap to add 3 inches to their schlong. I’ll take an A cup with a winning personality and the flexibility of a gymnast over some D cup who’ll think it’s cute to wiggle them in my face and probably break my nose.

Ladies, rejoice in your God given breasts, boobs, golden bozos, ta ta’s or whatever cute name you refer to them because whether they’re mosquito bumps or winnebagos, the guy is going to love them all the same.; 4/9/09, 1:59 PM
chickelit said...: I’ll take an A cup with a winning personality and the flexibility of a gymnast over some D cup who’ll think it’s cute to wiggle them in my face and probably break my nose.

Not the proper way to phrase it there dannyb. You need to control some variables.

Would you take an A cup with a winning personality and the flexibility of a gymnast or a C cup with a winning personality and the flexibility of a gymnast?

Your answer is your preference, nothing more nothing less.

But I do agree with your last paragraph 100%; 4/9/09, 2:13 PM
Bissage said...: Jubblies!; 4/9/09, 2:20 PM
dannyboy said...: Would you take an A cup with a winning personality and the flexibility of a gymnast or a C cup with a winning personality and the flexibility of a gymnast

Ah I see you wanted an apples to apples comparison. Fair enough. Ok when put that way, it really doesn't matter as long as the plumbing works. If you press me then we'd have to do an audition.; 4/9/09, 2:25 PM
Methadras said...: I am going to say this with wanton (or wonton) abandon. If I had a rackilious set of nice 36-38 perfectly shaped D's, I'd never leave my house.; 4/9/09, 2:34 PM
Methadras said...: dannyboy said...

More than a mouthful is a waste people.

LIES!!!; 4/9/09, 2:34 PM
chickelit said...: If I had a rackilious set of nice 36-38 perfectly shaped D's, I'd never leave my house.

Would you wear a burqua if you did go out?; 4/9/09, 2:47 PM
Peter V. Bella said...: More than a mouthful is a waste people.

Titus would disagree.; 4/9/09, 3:13 PM
Joe said...: If larger breasts helped a woman's career there are far cheaper and easier ways to create that appearance. Not only are there enhancement bras of all varieties, women can change the cut of their clothing.

(Years ago I worked with a woman with AAA cup breasts--meaning almost nothing--but between different bras and a very good fashion sense, she usually looked like she had A cups. Interestingly, she eventually got implants up to a B. Contrast that to a friend of my daughter who had AA cups, but also dressed well to hide those, but got DD implants. My daughter, who is a natural D, thought she was nuts and says they as hideous as you would suspect when not covered up.); 4/9/09, 3:41 PM
Methadras said...: chickenlittle said...

Would you wear a burqua if you did go out?

Yeah, just to hide the fact that I'm a dude with some really nice cans. Hey, I don't want guys staring at me that way. :D; 4/9/09, 3:43 PM
Bushman of the Kohlrabi said...: I agree with dannyboy that small breasts can be a wonderful thing. I would opt for them over circus tits any day.; 4/9/09, 4:07 PM
Smilin' Jack said...: There was one woman at work who one day wore some kind of skirt with suspenders and a white shirt, and the suspenders (the math department could not help noticing) each took a distinctly great-circle route from shoulder to skirt. The question immediately came up whether the suspender lay completely in a plane, or was there another component; a dimensional question; a question never resolved, even after lunch.

A geodesic on a two-dimensional surface need not lie in a plane, but there are special cases where it does. So this is really an empirical question which requires careful hands-on examination to resolve. Just be sure to explain the scientific motivation for this examination to the young lady so she won't get the wrong idea.; 4/9/09, 4:34 PM
Jason (the commenter) said...: When a guy gets breast implants to make more money it's fine, but when a woman does it there's something wrong with her?; 4/9/09, 5:09 PM
kentuckyliz said...: The commenters there were talking as if implants are a solution for sagging. Wrong. Sagging has to do with the crapping out of the underlying collagen scaffolding.

My bff finally got a guy to spring for implants when she was in her mid 30s...and they promptly started to sag because of the collagen scaffolding giving way under the new weight. Now she's got low hanging baseballs and it looks atrocious. She looked better flat.

As a breast cancer survivor, I really oppose implants because it makes it harder to detect breast cancer. It hides behind the implants. By the time it's detected it's more progressed. So if you think you want implants, decide if it's worth potentially trading some of your life span for it. That might be the deal you're making.

I never had to consider that deal personally...natch jugaliciousness. My bfs would say more than two cupped handfuls (each) is a waste. LOL; 4/9/09, 9:07 PM
Wince said...: More than a mouthful is a waste people.

Have to say I've never really understood that one, even though I've heard it a thousand times.

Doesn't it suggest stuffing (a single?) breast entirely inside your mouth past your teeth until you gag?

Wouldn't that leave a ring of teeth marks around the perimeter of where the breast meets the chest?

Who the hell ever came up with that? Ted Bundy?

Which makes perfect sense, because didn't Bundy flunk out of law school?; 4/9/09, 10:06 PM
blake said...: Knox's response combines a succinct perceptiveness with a nice dramatic panache for emphasis.

buuuuuuuuullllllllllshiiiiiiiiiiiiit

vet66, perhaps unconsciously, makes a case for men trying for a similar response:

Nothing says "Hung Jury" like decolletage decorating the banister while making a point!

Alas, no surgery for men exists, or we'd be seeing ads for "leg holsters".; 4/9/09, 11:09 PM
srfwotb said...: Can't they just do something with stem cells by now for god's sake? Where is the medical profession on this market failure?

Just get everyone the natural boobs, dick, hair, and teeth they want and there will be World Peace. I promise.; 4/10/09, 1:31 AM
mokey said...: this bitter lawyer site may want women to get a breast enlargement to be successful, but I don't see how other women, esp bosses, are going to deal with that in terms of advancement. don't women hate other women that have more confidence and better breasts than they do?; 4/10/09, 1:49 AM
KCFleming said...: So do breast implants enhance a girl's career in female-dominated environs?

Outside of wrestling, porn, TV and movies, I don't think so.

Men need to bring back the codpiece.; 4/10/09, 6:38 AM
TigerHawk said...: Two observations.

First, the story frames this as a trend of sorts, perhaps driven by the tough economy. The truth is that aesthetic surgery, including breast implants, is in a deep depression. Plastic surgeons are doing general surgery and other work because the aesthetic business is drying up. So if this is a trend it is a micro countertrend that is running against the macro.

Second, it would be interesting to know whether the "confidence" building aspects of this are confined to certain industries with a decidedly "male" culture, or whether they are more general. I note that one of the women who said this was in the "auto industry," which I suspect is -- or was -- a bit macho. I have seen a different result. I am one step from the top in a reasonably large company, and fully half of the senior executives who report to me -- department or division heads all -- are women. I know from their comments about more junior women that breast implants, or even apparent breast implants, are not a career enhancement in their eyes.; 4/10/09, 9:07 AM
Anonymous said...: Women with fake hooters are also much more likely to be shaved. Blecch!

Peter; 4/10/09, 9:52 AM
CGHill said...: As a practicing leg man, I find all this delightfully irrelevant.; 4/10/09, 10:53 AM
traditionalguy said...: Men do value a woman's appearance that reflects upon them. That is why the clothes count, and also why the physical beauty of a healthy women counts. That may be the original Natural Law. Personality will win in the end, but first impression appearance opens doors bigtime. A Pretty Woman is her man's Glory. Boobs just need to be a proper sized part of the woman's whole appearance.; 4/10/09, 12:22 PM
vnjagvet said...: This thread is a big bust.; 4/10/09, 12:45 PM
vnjagvet said...: There should have been a smiley face after that last post;>); 4/10/09, 12:46 PM
Dave C said...: So all those playboy playmates who are going to college to be a lawyer ARE serious about that..; 4/13/09, 8:20 AM