January 24, 2009

"Now I am going to have to lie here for the next hour, with no trousers on, basted like a Christmas turkey, bloody Enya simpering away in my ear..."

"... while some failed hairdresser rhythmically tickles away at my flabby parts as if petting a consumptive hamster."

Men at spas.

16 comments:

jdeeripper said...

I was wrong. I thought this was going to be another Adventures with Christopher Hitchens.

blake said...

I thought it was gonna be Gervais.

Spas really aren't manly.

bill said...

You might enjoy Yoga Kicked My Butt by travel writer Tim Cahill. It's also in his book "Hold the Enlightenment."

Synova said...

Of any man I know who has expressed an opinion, there is not one who didn't think that massage was plenty manly.

I think it's the whale music and aroma therapy that presents a problem.

Drew W said...

I went on a Holland America cruise four years ago and spent a lot of time at their spa and their vaguely sci-fi-sounding "thermal suites." Whenever I was there, they did seem to play little besides Enya’s 1988 album Watermark (from which the top 40 single “Orinoco Flow” is the most familiar). I don’t really have anything against Enya -- the album is perfectly pleasant synth-Celt -- but spas would probably do a lot better business if they deep-sixed the New Age music. There are plenty of types of classical music that people would find soothing without being lame. There have to be some spas that play better music.

blake said...

Many aspects of the spa are fine: Massage, sure. Hot springs, saunas, no problem.

But the fussy little feminine stuff?

Don't think so.

Christy said...

During their 8 years in D.C. the Algores regularly spent weekends at Coolfont, a spa in West Virginia. The question is, did Coolfont use wetland plants to treat their wastewater before Gore was a client?

The Crack Emcee said...

So it's 2004 and I'm in France, flipping through the channels on TV, tripping on how horrible the "talent" is there, when I come across a commercial for "magic healing stones" that one puts on their body to remove "toxins," and I think, "Boy, I'm glad we aren't this wacked-out in America."

I was such a fool.

mydismalswamp said...

Me, at a spa, would led to someone being arrested.

Now a massage... that's a horse of a different color.

EDH said...

I was wrong. I thought this was going to be another Adventures with Christopher Hitchens.

Yea, I love those spa photos of Hitchens.

Fred4Pres said...

Add a "happy ending" and you would see a lot more guys going to the spa.

ricpic said...

The key word is humiliating. For a man the whole experience is humiliating. But then so much of hyper-civilized living is humiliating from the male perspective. Living out ones whole life in Manhattan would be humiliating -- for a man. Whereas for a woman it would be very heaven.

Donna B. said...

At least he wasn't accompanied by Maureen Dowd.

Ron said...

Maybe spas should use Eno or Bauhaus instead of Enya...

traditionalguy said...

Yes, it does take getting used to, like any new surroundings, but what's not masculine about being rubbed by human hands? Besides this is nice employment for the professional masseuse and staff. When its over you feel relaxed and put back together again. So what's wrong with my Masculinity just because I am not shi and nervous around strangers? Different strokes for different folks, I guess. Oh I get it, this is just snobby complaining about how spoiled they are because the music isn't up to their standards.

Ann Althouse said...

Masseuses I have known have a CD player in the room, and you can bring your own CD. During the Bush v. Gore litigation, there was a live Supreme Court argument at my appointment time, so we put on the radio and listened along, with me doing intermittent commentary....