Althouse: "The Kiss of Deaf."

December 9, 2008

"The Kiss of Deaf."

"While kissing is normally very safe, doctors advise people to proceed with caution."

22 comments:

chickelit said...: At first I thought it was going to be about aural sex.; 12/9/08, 3:31 PM
Unknown said...: Come on, man! Don't take suck face so seriously.; 12/9/08, 3:32 PM
traditionalguy said...: I heard that there is a serious shortage of young women in todays chinese demographic, but this guy must be really needy to suck her eardrums out.; 12/9/08, 3:54 PM
Big Mike said...: I think he was doing it wrong.; 12/9/08, 4:16 PM
Ken Pidcock said...: From a microbiology textbook discussion of Epstein-Barr Virus:

In resource-rich countries, people often escape infection during childhood, and become infected as adolescents or adults during the extensive salivary exchanges (mean 4.2 ml/h) that accompany deep kissing.

Mmmm...Saliva.; 12/9/08, 4:21 PM
KCFleming said...: Her boyfriend, Mr. N. Hale Hoover, was unavailable for comment.; 12/9/08, 4:41 PM
Tibore said...: Gawd, if he does that much damage with a kiss, what the hell happens when he gets to second base? A long hospital stay with surgery? Gals, never submit to a hickey from that guy.

And as an aside: What happens to his cups at fast food restaurants? Do they end up inside the straw or something?

Waiting for hose/golf ball joke in 5... 4... 3..; 12/9/08, 4:51 PM
KCFleming said...: And for his next trick, Mr. Hoover will perform a cunnilingus-induced hysterectomy.; 12/9/08, 5:03 PM
Freeman Hunt said...: "Baby, I'm gonna kiss you so hard, your eardrum's gonna pop out. No, really."; 12/9/08, 5:13 PM
Freeman Hunt said...: If you kissed someone, and the person started sucking on your mouth that hard, wouldn't you tell him to stop? I would think that the point of "Ow. Please, stop," would come well before the point of "Ow. I can't hear anymore."; 12/9/08, 5:15 PM
Tibore said...: "Freeman Hunt said...
"Baby, I'm gonna kiss you so hard, your eardrum's gonna pop out. No, really."

Pop in. Pop in.

:D

"Pogo said...
And for his next trick, Mr. Hoover will perform a cunnilingus-induced hysterectomy.

I tried my best not to go there, but noooooo, Pogo's gotta drag me kicking and screaming...

;); 12/9/08, 5:27 PM
Meade said...: Pogo is so rude.

"The young woman is expected to regain her full hearing within about two months."

Two months of deafness. Eh, I suppose it would be worth it. I admit though, I was starting to have second thoughts about trying to go to eleven.; 12/9/08, 5:30 PM
sonicfrog said...: This kind of thing would never happen on "Planet Of The Apes".; 12/9/08, 5:30 PM
Darcy said...: "Kiss Me Deadly" comes to mind.

And LOL, you guys.; 12/9/08, 5:45 PM
Tibore said...: "sonicfrog said...
This kind of thing would never happen on "Planet Of The Apes"."

Dude, the name of the movie this would happen in should probably never be uttered in polite company. ;D; 12/9/08, 5:48 PM
Lem Vibe Bandit said...: Remember one thing..

There is no kissing in the Champagne Room

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=slt0f3GdW4k; 12/9/08, 6:10 PM
dannyboy said...: Hey I bet that Titus guy is on a plane to Shanghai hoping he can talk this guy into giving him a hummer.; 12/9/08, 6:11 PM
KCFleming said...: Mr. Hoover's hickey leaves an open wound.

_________________________
The Five Chinese Brothers

By: Claire Huchet Bishop, 1938.

"Then the first Chinese brother swallowed the sea. And all the fish were left high and dry at the bottom of the sea. And all the treasures of the sea lay uncovered."; 12/9/08, 6:12 PM
Anonymous said...: From the title at the top of this thread I had the impression the topic might be Ebonics.; 12/9/08, 7:25 PM
Anonymous said...: Pogo: Between your description of Mr. Hoover's abilities and Chip Ahoy and Lawgiver's "I don't get no respect" routine on the thread above, I'm laughing so hard I'm sure I'll pass the 2 remaining kidney stones any minute!; 12/9/08, 9:54 PM
Unknown said...: Can I just do it until I'm hard of hearing?; 12/10/08, 12:13 AM
Skyler said...: The idea is ludicrous. I don't believe for an instant that you can cause deafness by kissing.

I think it's much more likely that girl was boxed on the ear by her beau and won't admit it to the doctor.; 12/10/08, 1:39 AM