September 18, 2008

"One can cook really delicious things with [breast milk]. However, it always needs to be mixed with a bit of whipped cream..."

It's on the menu in Switzerland, thanks to a loophole in the law.
The food control authority in Switzerland was initially confused by the apparent loophole in local legislation regulating the use of human milk and it was not clear whether Mr Locher could actually be banned from serving his specialities.

"Humans as producers of milk are simply not envisaged in the legislation.

"They are not on the list of approved species such as cows and sheep, but they are also not on the list of the banned species such as apes and primates," Rolf Etter of the Zurich food control laboratory said.
As I say in the sidebar: I'm a law professor, and sometimes I write about law. To that I add: Sometimes I blog about breasts. And sometimes I blog about breasts and the law.

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You know, Justice Scalia was just bitching about law school courses like "'Law and Poverty,' or other made-up stuff." I'd just like to point out that one could do a course called "Law and Breasts." There's this topic of whether a restaurant can serve breast milk, but there are all sorts of other things. I can easily find many things in my old blog posts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9.

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If you think the subject of food made with breast milk is funny -- or if you have any sense of humor at all -- you should buy Season 5 of "The Ricky Gervais Show" (the podcast). There's a bit where Ricky is thoroughly disgusted by a hippie woman who brings a housewarming gift of rice pudding and informs the recipient that she's made it with her breast milk.

37 comments:

Sy said...

Titillating subject indeed.

Bruce Hayden said...

Since when are humans not apes or primates? Indeed, it could be argued that we were the third species of chimpanzee. By any standard definition of either ape or primate, we qualify.

Stupe said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4-TZspqlOs

chickenlittle said...

Swiss Miss Cocoa is next.

Smilin' Jack said...

they are also not on the list of the banned species such as apes and primates

I thought it was only here in Bible-thumping creationist America that humans were not considered primates.

Peter V. Bella said...

Now that's exotic!

Maxine Weiss said...

"She was a bag of trash sitting on the sidewalk waiting .. for the garbage truck to come by and pick her up and take her to the dump!"

Amen !

Maxine Weiss said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4-TZspqlOs

Blue Moon said...

The next logical step of course is having multiple lactating ladies in the kitchen and their description on the menu...

Patron: "What are my milk options?"

Waiter: "Susan is a Kansan fed a diet of corn dogs, Skittles and Milky Ways. Ann is a vegan from the wilds of the Bay Area who enjoys a green leafy vegetable diet..."

Trooper York said...

Salma Hayek can end world hunger.

Film at eleven.

Simon said...

"I'd just like to point out that one could do a course called 'Law and Breasts.'"

Discovery would be fun in relevant cases.

Triangle Man said...

As implied by others above, "primate" is not a species it is an Order, and humans are in the Order primates.

Bob said...

Yah, Blue Moon goes to the next step. I can imagine a girl being punished for eating too much garlic and tainting the taste of her milk.

I can also see a patron insisting that, to guarantee the source of the milk, that the milking be done at tableside...

RWD said...

And then there's Borat's gift of breast-milk cheese to Bob Barr.

Sy said...

How about lactating waitresses with whipped cream on top?

chuck b. said...

I can easily find many things in my old blog posts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9....


Give it to us in a diavlog.

Pastor_Jeff said...

You'd have to set up a system of standards to make sure that former Eastern European swimmers weren't trying to label themselves as "organic" or "growth hormone-free."

chuck b. said...

Also, England, thank you for Ricky Gervais.

bill said...

I prefer my breast milk organic and pasture-raised.

Someday remind me to talk about the x-rated puppet show Wrestling MacBeth. It was MacBeth retold as professional wrestlers and included a Lady Macbeth that lactated at least 10 rows into the audience.

I love the theater.

reader_iam said...

How many people here have ever attached themselves to one of those electronic breast-pump machine systems, I wonder?

Which reminds me, I still have mine, up in the attick.

reader_iam said...

Where I also keep spare "k's".

chuck b. said...

You missed an obvious opportunity for a "bodily fluids" tag!

Blue Moon said...

I remember my brother in law's wife eating a plate of jalapeno peppers and then breast feeding my nephew. The boy had gas and the runs that cleared the room the next two days. I kept looking at that 8 pound child and thinking "Who knew that that little thing could be so toxic."

Steven said...

The article talks of banned species. Taken completely literally, that means the list individually bans both Pan troglodytes and Pan paniscus, but does not include Homo sapiens. Which is possible, but seems improbable.

If it's written more generally, well, humans are of the order Primates (primates), the superfamily Hominoidea (apes), and the family Hominidae (great apes). Accordingly, the law would have to use a term for a more general category that, in use, always excludes H. sapiens. That seems unlikely, too, but less unlikely.

Izalia blogspot said...

yeah...

http://mitsubishi-dealerships-charleston.blogspot.com

MadisonMan said...

Just because one can cook really delicious things doesn't mean one should or must do so.

The Swiss Mister leads to learn restraint.

EDH said...

Here's a funny gif you'll want to keep.

http://i112.photobucket.com/albums/n182/chopper_671/memyselfirene23gd.gif

bill said...

How many people here have ever attached themselves to one of those electronic breast-pump machine systems, I wonder?

Not me...but a male friend of mine worked in the R&D department of a company that made breast pumps and other baby stuff. All male staff testing the suction on elbows and shoulders. So if you think it was a torture device created by men, it was.

Stinger Assassin said...

Here's a summary of breastfeeding laws in the 50 states.

Some interesting wrinkles, such as Virginia which allows the exemption of a breastfeeding mother from jury duty upon her request.

k said...

My nickname for my breastpump after my son was born: The Punisher.

Pre-baby, the idea of consuming human breast milk would have been revolting. And I guess really I still don't want to eat it, but why the heck is it more disgusting than consuming cow's milk? It is intended for humans!

From Inwood said...

Life Imitating Art dept.:

Sacha Baron Cohen, in his Borat persona has an interview with now Pres candidate, Bob Barr,(alas, in Barr's real persona) in which Borat informs Barr that the cheese Barr's eating is from Borat's sister's milk!

Perhaps Cedarford can enlighten us with some Jewish connection here.

Ruth Anne Adams said...

My twin daughters were born extremely premature and didn't go to breast for over two months. We bought an upright freezer to store all that I pumped and it got pretty damn full. I was sort of surprised how many signatures were needed to give my milk to my daughters in the hospital. They went through more checks than they did to give them narcotics [and there were those, too]. I joked about it and they reminded me that if they gave my milk to the wrong person, it would be equivalent of giving tainted blood. It's a human fluid and contains the DNA cocktail and must not go to the wrong recipient.

By the way, I love lactation consultants.

Joe said...

I kept looking at that 8 pound child and thinking "Who knew that that little thing could be so toxic."

One of the biggest surprises when you have an eating, pooping, puking machine.

Human milk is pretty vile tasting stuff*. But then again, so is calamari.

*This can be discovered in the throws of passion or drinking the wrong container in the fridge.

blake said...

How many people here have ever attached themselves to one of those electronic breast-pump machine systems, I wonder?

I don't like to talk about it.

Joan said...

Never used an electronic pump, but the Avent Isis pump saved my daughter's life. Small, quiet, comfortable, and fast -- that pump was awesome, and I recommend it to all new moms.

baronger said...

Thank you for keeping us abreast of this serious situation.

Though I think you were milking it just for comedic effect.

Though I will never look at the girl on a package of swiss milk hot chocolate again. :(

rightwingprof said...

Funny? Well, perhaps food made with breast milk is funny, like eating Fido or your mother after she passed away is funny or Margaret Cho is funny.

Disgusting, yes. Funny, no.