May 23, 2008

Al Franken wrote about sex.

Horrors!

44 comments:

vbspurs said...

In the same article, Franken jokes about his 12-year-old son researching a report on bestiality and using the Internet “to download some effective visual aids.”

Didn't Franken get schtupped by the gorilla in "Trading Places"?

He could've just given his son first-hand info.

Pogo said...

So I forget, is porn pro-feminist or anti-feminist?

Or does it, as usual, depend on who is doing the porn?

Handy template:
Porn is by:
(1) a lefty: OK; self-ownership, edgy, free speech, liberating from male hegemony. See "Feministing".
(2) a non-lefty, espceically if male: Bad; disgusting, abusive, rape, evidence of male hegemony.

vbspurs said...

Pogo, every time a man looks at porn, some woman dies. It's misogynicide.

Trooper York said...

Pogo, every time a man looks at porn, some sperm dies. It's spermicide.

Fixed.

OldGrouchy said...

So, Victoria, does that mean that when a woman looks at Playgirl, a man dies; good on you Trooper York! Then the cry is "Please save my life and don't look at it!"

How many times must I look at porn pics of beautiful young ladies before I become a widower? Just curious!

OTOH, when will AA review porn on her blog? Or, is that best left to our imagination?

TitusTimeClockofTheHeart said...

I never got into porn much. I would rather do the real thing.

Jack Nicholson's character said the same thing in The Departed.

The real thing is so much better.

vbspurs said...

So, Victoria, does that mean that when a woman looks at Playgirl, a man dies;

Yes. Andrea Dworkin got porn overseer duties from St. Peter.

good on you Trooper York!

Don't do it Trooper! Save the women! Every flick to the centrefold is a stab in a woman's heart!

former law student said...

Don't associate Al Franken with sex or you might not ever want to have sex again.

The horror the horror indeed.

Jake said...

Franken's real problem is that he is a violent and angry drunk. And he has been drunk in public numerous occassions. His violent attacks on other people will be a huge campaign issue.

Beth said...

In those halcyon early days of the internet, my partner went looking for my favorite Peanuts strip, to print it out as a little gift for me. It involves Sally Brown writing an essay titled, "If I Had a Pony." Don't put that in a search engine unless you're prepared to do a little unintentional research on bestiality.

rcocean said...

Al - you can write about sex, just don't have it. You're too damn ugly.

Gad, the very image of Al Franken having sex requires a barf bag!

TitusTimeClockofTheHeart said...

How about the idea of Mitch Mcconnell having sex?

That is one ugly mofo.

rhhardin said...

Porn reduces women's bargaining power by reducing men's need to deal with women at all. Anybody's body part will do. Being a pig is not all inconvenience.

But once a woman is married, porn is a plus to her since it keeps the guy off her case.

I take it Franken's piece is about being a pig.

Rousseau wrote that it was a theoretical scandal (a scandal to the theory of representation, that is) that porn was better than the actual woman.

Porn for women I take it is soap opera and bodice busters, not playgirl. It takes a couple hundred pages of foreplay to get to the unfurled manhood part. It's not obvious to me how women's porn works.

rcocean said...

titus,

Would you do Al Franken? What he if wore a bag over his head?

TitusTimeClockofTheHeart said...

I went onto a "scat porn" site just for a laugh.

Talk about disgusting.

People squatting on others and pinching a loaf or in some cases spraying some nasty shit as the person on the bottom wiped it all over themselves and in some cases ate it.

TitusTimeClockofTheHeart said...

I would never do Al Franken-he is gross.

I already put an entire list of the senators who I would and would not do on this site. Look it up. It is fascinating reading.

TitusTimeClockofTheHeart said...

I don't mind golden showers if they are in a shower and you can wipe yourself off immediately with soap but I draw the line on someone shitting on me.

One guy wanted to piss on me in my bed I was like no. My fabulous egyptian sheets would be ruined. Others want to drink my piss which I think it probably unhealthy.

TitusTimeClockofTheHeart said...

Another guy wanted to smell my farts.

I was like sorry guy I don't have any readily available at this time.

I like smelling my own farts though. Farting and sticking my head under the covers is fun.

John Stodder said...

Franken's mistake is to insist on not being funny now that he's politically engaged.

Al Franken not being funny is a guy you would never talk to twice.

Also, his spokesman uses Franken's comedic past as a kind of judgment on his foes. Like this, from the linked story:

On Thursday, Franken spokeswoman Jess McIntosh said: “Al had a long career as a satirist. But he understands the difference between what you say as a satirist and what you do as a senator. And as a senator, Norm Coleman has disrespected the people of Minnesota by putting the Exxons and Halliburtons ahead of working families. And there’s nothing funny about that.”

I have no problem starting a sentence with a conjunction. Not three times in a row, however.

rhhardin said...

Franken can be funny politically. The secret is self-deprecation.

He does not realize this, though, and so doesn't repeat the success.

Real Audio clip

Pogo said...

When I was in med school, we had a class in sexuality that was meant to introduce us to "alternative lefestyles" (this was 1985, so quite a bit prior to the pansexual Tila Tequila types, and not quite AIDS-aware).

We were asked to bring our spouse or S.O. Basically half the films were porn. A few were produced for -I guess- 'medical use'. Gay, lesbian, toys, hetero, swinging, all porn movies. The remainder included old people. OMG. Captain Kangaroo and Bea Arthur, I think.

It was meant to be all serious and solemn and nonjudgemental. But just before the movies began, 5 guy came in with popcorn and pop, and laughed and hooted through the whole thing. They got thrown out, but only missed the old people.

After the "class" was over, the teacher asked if there were any question.
*crickets*
We went home, and my wife said she never wanted to have sex again.


And she hasn't. She has always been truthful like that.
(I keed, I keed.)

Pogo said...

Oh, Mr. Green Jeans was in it, too. Ther geriatric threesome. I heard a hip snap in one part, I think.

Trooper York said...

Bea Arthur is a freak. I saw a Mexican porno from the fifties when she was a young starlet where she performed the five way combo later made famous by Vanessa Del Rio in "Stain on it Rio", Dark Brothers Video, 1984.

Trooper York said...

That's "Stain it on Rio."

Sorry I got all excited thinking about it there for a minute.

Pastor_Jeff said...

Al Franken on sex:

"I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me."

TitusTimeClockofTheHeart said...

A couple of my favorite pornos are:

Schindlers Fist and
Driving Into Miss Daisy

TitusTimeClockofTheHeart said...

How about White Men Can't Hump?

Trooper York said...

I must admit I enjoyed "Hannah does her Sisters" and "The Graffenberg Spot." Both classics but not available in the "uncut" version. (That's the movie Titus, not the hog).

TitusTimeClockofTheHeart said...

Ben-Her Over
A Tale of Two Titties
A Penis Runs Through It

TitusTimeClockofTheHeart said...

The guys in straight porn are always gross.

I think it because they don't want the straight guys to even look at the guy. And who would, they are not good. Ron Jeremie anyone?

TitusTimeClockofTheHeart said...

A Beautiful Behind
Hunting a Good Fuck

TitusTimeClockofTheHeart said...

Assablanca

TitusTimeClockofTheHeart said...

Spakenstein

TitusTimeClockofTheHeart said...

28 Gays Later

TitusTimeClockofTheHeart said...

I Fucked An Ax Murderer

TitusTimeClockofTheHeart said...

40 Gays and 40 Dykes

TitusTimeClockofTheHeart said...

Mommas Thowing A Train

Pogo said...

Franken's humorist past might in fact raise some eyebrows in the Lake Wobegon neighborhoods.

but if he had only managed to pay his taxes, he'd probably be doing better and this wouldn't seem like a big deal.

Instead it's all He don't pay his taxes, plus now he writes about sex with animals and thinks it's funny. Another straw on the He's not one of us camel's back.

TitusTimeClockofTheHeart said...

Crouching Penis, Hidden Vagina

vbspurs said...

Al Franken's package

Just to spring this thread back to life. :P

Ralph said...

Two Gentlemen on Verona
The Sisters Carry Matt Off.

Michael_H said...

Victoria - That looks like a pair of socks in the pocket. Package enhancement.

Al Franken was a comedian? When? I must have missed that part of his career, although I saw in on SNL a few times.

blake said...

"The Al Franken Decade" bit was classic.

In the generally reviled "One More Saturday Night", the original script (written by Franken and Davis) had F&D sleeping with the two lead girls (the nice girl who was having boyfriend troubles, and her slutty best friend). Both guys sleeping with both girls.

Other comedic minds suggested that the scene would be funnier if Davis got laid by the slutty girl and Franken ended up spending the night listening to the girl complain about her boyfriend's troubles.

Franken allegedly had a tantrum over it, but it was really the funniest part if the movie.

In fact, if I think of most of the real-life stories I've heard about Franken (from people who have known him and worked with him), they seem to involve him having tantrums.

Granted that could be just because that's the most memorable thing he does.

blake said...

Hey, how do you pronounce "misogynoicde"? Hard "g" or soft?