February 19, 2008

"Dear Ozzy, you don't necessarily become the best kisser by opening your mouth the widest."

"The sooner you realize that kissing is not an immunity challenge, the happier Amanda is going to be."

How would you like to expose your kissing technique to the ridicule of a million pitiless TV-watchers? So many things get exposed on "Survivor." Some of them — boobs escaping from bra tops, butt cracks triumphing over increasingly overlarge pants, deliberately liberated male frontage — get pixelated out of our view. But kissing in seemingly complete darkness — that is the subject of invasive night-vision photography. Didn't you know? Ozzy is adorable — we love to see him clamber up trees and dive those long horizontal dives in the swimming competitions — but stop kissing Amanda.

7 comments:

Trooper York said...

Well, he's not much of a kisser, but he can really bite the head off of a bat.

Middle Class Guy said...

What is it about guys named Ozzy? Who in their right minds would even name their kid Ozzy?

Trooper York said...

Well if your last name is Smith, you might hope that your kid grows up to be a shortstop.

Trooper York said...

Unless you move to San Pedro De Marcos in the Dominican, then you can be sure that he will grow up to be a star.

Ann Althouse said...

"Who in their right minds would even name their kid Ozzy?"

Especially if it's short for Oswald.

LordSomber said...

Real name: John Michael "Ozzy" Osbourne.

As for Amanda, at first I thought you meant... oh, nevermind.

/shudder

Middle Class Guy said...

Ann Althouse said...
"Who in their right minds would even name their kid Ozzy?"

Especially if it's short for Oswald.




There ya go!