April 10, 2007

"I'm so not sexy."

Says Melinda Doolittle, responding to Jennifer Lopez, who's encouraging her to reveal her sexuality on this week's "American Idol," where the theme is "Latin" music. Sway me now, she sings, with a big, red lipstick smile. Finally, she gets some criticism. (Really, constant praise makes a person boring.) Simon says, "a bit lazy, a little bit wooden." She shows some smarts, explaining, alluding to his previous complaints that he wasn't finding anything to complain about: "He really wanted to say something bad, and I'm glad he got the chance." Great, some personality.

Second, LaKisha (which makes me think they are trying to help Jordin Sparks, by moving her competition to the front end of the show). She sings that "Conga" song, which Simon says is "not a singer's song." I can see the pattern of the night. It's all about telling the kids to be hot... and how it's never hot enough. (Isn't there some offensive ethnic stereotyping here? It's not supposed to matter. We're telling kids to be hot.)

Now, Jennifer Lopez is trying. She's not sleepwalking, phoning it in like Gwen Stefani. She knows she has to show us this matters. I have never cared about her or been a fan of any kind, but this show is making me like her. With Chris Richardson, she corrects his pronunciation of a Spanish word and advises him to take the key up a step. Paula thinks it was "hot!" "sexy!"

Hayley Scarnato does that "Rhythm of the Night" song, and everyone's just "you have great legs" again.

Our bald wonder Phil Stacey is up next. Something about "Maria, you know you are my lover..." Blah.

Finally, it's Jordin Sparks. (So, my favorite Blake gets the final slot.) She's doing "The Rhythm Is Gonna Get You," making me realize for perhaps the first time that it's a different song from "Rhythm of the Night." I'm bored, but I feel like Randy's going to say it's "hot." Randy says it's "wonderful" and "great" and "the wow factor." Paula's all "you're out there." Simon: "okay... nothing stunning."

So, now it's my Blake. (Blake Lewis.) "I Need to Know." The judges love him... and I have to admit this whole genre doesn't hit me the way it's supposed to.

Oh, no! What am I thinking? There's still one more. I have to count, and then I realize: Sanjaya! Ooh, they put him last. He's going to do "Besame Mucho," an old-style Spanish song. I'm touched. This is a different genre, really, isn't it? Oh, he's sitting down. That means something. And he's growing a mustache and a goatee. That's all new. It's rather dull, but they act like it was kinda good.

Whew! I'm glad this one's over!

14 comments:

SteveR said...

Really lousy "genre" to try and force these people into. So is Rob Thomas singing for Santana latina? Whatever.

Melinda, Blake and that other guy are safe, anyone else can go. Can we get rid of two this week?

Next week's theme: Ukrainian Folk songs

P. Rich said...

brain. cells. dyingggggggg

Sloanasaurus said...

Idol is subpar this year. All the contestents remind me of Taylor Hicks - not quite good enough.

Blake is the best. He should win.

Finn Kristiansen said...

It's funny how the music of Gloria Estefan is kind of like plutonium, where a little goes a really long way. PU!

Hawkmoon Nine said...

The lack of talent this year is getting old. While Blake and Jordin are entertaining, I wouldn't buy a CD from either one of them - (my wife owns Clarkson, Aiken, Underwood and Pickler CDs, I have Daughtry and we'll probably get Bucky's when it comes out next week).

Lakisha at least stepped a little out of her comfort zone tonight, Malinda still hasn't, she sings the same song every week. Sanjaya didn't suck! Everyone else was forgettable. Blake was the best tonight.

Going home tomorrow - Phil.

peter hoh said...

Once again, I have to thank our host for allowing me to stay in touch with this aspect of popular culture without having to actually expose myself to it firsthand.

But I am left to wonder this: do hotness and effortlessness go together? And if so, how can one put a little effort into being hot?

Are the rules of hotness different for men and women? And does hotness have more to do with glamour or charisma? Maybe I should read a little more than the opening paragraph of the Virginia Postrel column on charisma.

Jeff said...

" He's going to do "Besame Mucho," an old-style Spanish song. I'm touched. This is a different genre, really, isn't it?"

If good songs are a genre, then yes this is different!

BrianOfAtlanta said...

This is the first Idol I've watched this year, and I have to agree with those who aren't impressed by this lineup. I was frankly stunned at the across-the-board lack of talent. This was the best they could find?

I've heard so much about how Sanjaya is so bad, but to tell the truth, none of the other singers were that much better. It's not like he stands out, or at least not last night. I haven't followed Idol closely since the 2004 season, but none of these folks would have made it into the top 4 that year.

Rich said...

I watched last night to see what all the fuss was about Sanjaya. I even decided to vote for him as an experiment, I'm sticking it to the Man!

I like the votefortheworst concept; attempt to manipulate the show to retaliate against the show's system.

DialIdol puts Sanjaya 5/8 with zero confidence in their ranking due to an extremely high margin of error.

Joe said...

I believe that until the final three, when order is chosen randomly, singing order is randomly determined at the final twelve alternating male/female, then every week they shift the order "up" toward being first. Thus Melissa sang second last week, first this week and will sing last next week.

Ruth Anne Adams said...

I agree J-Lo was good. What makes a song a "Latin" song? I was half-expecting someone to sing Ricky Martin's La Vida Loca. Or Jenny from the Block. But do they count?

How about old school Latin--Gregorian chant?

"Man, Dawg, you were really holy!"

peter hoh said...

When they cover Gregorian chants on IDOL, then I'll watch it.

SteveR said...

Hey how about Grateful Dead, cause Jerry Garcia makes it Latin, right?

High-K said...

Melinda power!