January 4, 2007

John Kerry sends "a Christmas card with a to-do list."

Why am I always picking on John Kerry? I don't know. I can't seem to help it. But maybe, just maybe, it's really something about him:
The senator from Massachusetts and his wife, Teresa Heinz Kerry, sent out 75,000 Christmas cards with pictures of trees at each season. The Kerrys gushed over their "gratitude for the beauty of these trees and the life they represent."...

The card came in an odd-looking envelope, one of those with a return-mail flap and instructions to send it to . . . well, to a recycling company, so "it can be made into new carpet tile."...

We want a "world without waste . . . where every product either returns safely to the soil or becomes a new product."

So the card instructs: "1. Remove this panel and insert it along with the card into the envelope. 2. Expose adhesive strip and fold the flap over to seal the envelope. 3. Drop this mailer into any U.S. mailbox."
Of all the sanctimonious idiocy! Avoiding the production of the second envelope would save more than the recycling of the card. And that's not even counting the energy costs of driving paper mail all over the place.

Also, how come I didn't get a card?

35 comments:

AJ Lynch said...

Your last paragraph beginning with "sanctimonious idiot" was almost exactly what I thought except you should have used the plural "idiots".

Blogs - you get here what the MSM won't say!

Dave said...

"Of all the sanctimonious idiocy! Avoiding the production of the second envelope would save more than the recycling of the card. And that's not even counting the energy costs of driving paper mail all over the place."

Now that is the kind of economic reasoning we could use more of from lawyers!

Bo Steed said...

I once offered Senator Kerry some advice on developing his deltoids at a gym in Ann Arbor. I also told him to tone down the spandex and read more Lincoln, suggesting that he pay special attention to the cadences of Lincoln's Second Inaugural and House Divided speeches.

Obviously, he rejected my advice on all counts.

Fatmouse said...

Though not the same, this reminds me of when Royal Neighbors sent out their insurance bills without a return envelope. Instead, you were supposed to take the original envelope, tear it entirely open along all the seams, do some origami folding with your check inside and seal it back up. It wound up looking like a first-grader's attempt to create an envelope out of scrap construction paper and glue, and I'm sure the post office loved all the jams they caused in the machinery.

They said it was for "green" reasons, but I'm sure they had a master plan to save .001 cents per bill by pissing off their customers.

tjl said...

"Why am I always picking on John Kerry?"

Because John Kerry has a genius for making artificial gestures in a manner so wooden and clumsy that their effect is the opposite from what he intended. Remember Kerry goose-hunting in Ohio? Kerry attempting to connect with a red-state crowd by intoning, "Who is there among us who does not love NASCAR?" Kerry showing his athletic prowess by windsurfing off Nantucket in a floral spandex wetsuit?

Kerry never ceases to surprise, but always by doing things that make him seem ever more ridiculous.

SteveWe said...

John Kerry is a Donkey that just cannot avoid being an ass.

Do Senators still have a free postal franking privilege? If so, Kerry's 75,000 cards cost more than $29,000 to mail. If all 50 Senators had a similarly sized Christmas mailing list, their 3.75 million "season's greetings" cost us nearly $1.5 million. What a waste. (Yeah, Iraq probably costs that much per minute, so save your chiming in on that.)

One of the Five said...

He could also save a lot more if he didn't send out cards at all. Or at least something less than 75,000. I mean, sure I too have 75,000 close personal friends, but I was able to whittle my card list down to about 100.

Plus, who wants to bet he took them to the post office in his gas guzzling S.U.V.?

Anonymous said...

Wow, in 2 days: 2 posts on Kerry, 2 posts on Hillary. One on Pelosi, and one on Obama.

One must be true:

1.) There isn't jack squat to talk about on the Republican side, or you've completely given up expecting anything from them.

2.) You have an unhealthy facsination with Democrats.

You're officially in The Wilderness now. I hope you brought a compass, food, and water. Because I think it will be a long long walk! And 2008 looks mighty bleak.

Pogo said...

'Sanctimoniuous' is exactly the right term.

It's the preening eco-Puritan holier-than-thou-ness that grates, the grotesque need to simultaneously lecture and self-congratulate that nauseates, and the narcissitic abuse of a Christmas card to command PC applause that makes one's skin crawl.

If John Kerry were a cereal, it's be full of fiber, brown, taste like the box it came in, and ingestion would be mandatory. The free prize inside would be a small statue of JFK himself with the phrase, thanks for being a good world citizen!.

hdhouse said...

Ann Ann Ann....you are no doubt a hot babe and worthy of a card and I'm sure (pretty sure anyway) that you conduct a reasonably interesting brace of classes but but but...I think John has 50 million others to thank before he crosses the aisle.

Robert said...

You're too closely aligned with the conservative-libertarian axis. Just look at how you focus on the impracticality of the beautiful recycling plan, instead of swooning over how you could be Saving the Earth (tm).

hdhouse said...

Ann Ann Ann...you are a hot babe and no doubt a good law prof (oxymoron but perhaps not in your case)...but but but you are a....ohmygod dare i say the word ....a republi.....ohhh i just can't type it.

Anonymous said...

preening narcissism...
...sanctimonious idiocy...


Boning up on your insults of late?

Art said...

Maybe he wants you to have to work for your material.

The Drill SGT said...

LOL,

We recycle 3 types of paper at home, newprint, office paper and the rest (colored mailers, etc). I think mailing paper off twice is doubly dumb.

Kerry wanted to make an eco statement. sort of out Goring Gore.

One last thought. I bet it wasn't a "Christmas Card" but rather one of those neutered Season's Greetings" things.


BTW, another last thought that deserves an althouse post. In the same WaPo article there was this little gem:

November Surprise

George McGovern, the liberal 1972 Democratic presidential nominee, dropped a little bombshell to Larry King the other night: He voted Republican in 1976, for Gerald Ford.

McGovern said he finally told his wife, Eleanor, that Thanksgiving. Her reply: "So did I."


Bet Jimmie Loved reading that.

Ann Althouse said...

"'preening narcissism......sanctimonious idiocy...' Boning up on your insults of late?"

Just rediscovering adjectives... and so soon after my New Year's resolution to be concise. I even thought about how "preening narcissism" was redundants... but I just had to do it... just like I had to insult John Kerry.

Anonymous said...

You would think Bush's signing statement allowing the Feds to open YOUR mail would catch the eye of our small government, non-intrusive liberty seeking conservatives.

Nope, Kerry's Christmas Mailing List is much more important.

AST said...

75,000 cards!? How many trees did that take, not to mention energy, pollution and general waste. Of course, the White House and other politicians do the same. Too bad the EPA can't outlaw junk mail.

If Kerry really cared about the environment, he'd have sent emails.

Wurly said...

I suppose the lesson here is that Kerry only sends cards to people who are not smart enough or conscientious enough to drop an envelop in thier own home recycling bins.

Anonymous said...

It's kind of amazing that no one had ever heard from Kerry for years while he did absolutely nothing of consequence in the Senate. Now that he's been the nominee for pres, he's all over the news whenever the press wants a good anti-Bush quote.

And now this.

CAN THERE BE ANY CLEARER EVIDENCE FOR A ROVIAN PLOT OF EPIC PROPORTIONS????

LoafingOaf said...

Nope, Kerry's Christmas Mailing List is much more important.

Did you miss Althouse's post today about bloggers being told they have to blog about certain topics?

One of the keys to the Alhouse blog is the fun mix of topics. That's what keeps me looking here every day right after Drudge and before Instapundit. It's entertaining...and no trees are killed for any of it. So, enjoy!

I've even still preserved a little appreciation for Irksome Andrew Sullivan because he throws variety in the mix between the irksome stuff (like his post on Alan Bennet's play today).

Come on, now, didn't this goofiness from Kerry make you laugh? It's okay to lighten up for a moment before getting back to your struggle against the Fascist Regime.

There are conservative blogs (this isn't a conservative blog) that posted about the Latest Bush Outrage. Power Line, for example. Their analysis is thoughtful and, I thought, persuasive. Unlike your fear-mongering knee-jerk.

ShadyCharacter said...

NL,

link please. Or do you not care that everyone simply assumes you're talking out of your Kerry?

Anonymous said...

Shady

I'm not sure how you missed it, it was on most blogs and news sites today.

Oaf

You don't think you guys are just a bit obsessed with Kerry? And I mean completely obsessed bordering on clinical. It's like the "abstinence" episode on Seinfeld, where they took bets on who could "hold out" the longest. I bet Althouse and Kaus couldn't go 1 week without writing something deragatory about Kerry.

And there seem to be a plethora weird creepy Republicans to write about. Strange.

Todd said...

LoafingOaf:
"One of the keys to the Alhouse blog is the fun mix of topics.
...
Come on, now, didn't this goofiness from Kerry make you laugh? It's okay to lighten up for a moment before getting back to your struggle against the Fascist Regime."


Well done.

ShadyCharacter said...

NL, for the benefit of those who don't spend the day sweating it out in the fever swamps of firedoglake, why don't you provide a link for your assertion that Bush authorized the Feds to open everyone's mail for no reason...

Just checked the NYtimes front page, cnn and drudge and didn't see any 16 point font headline about this. Could it be that you're simply full of Kerry?

sonicfrog said...

The "Bush wants to read your e-mail" scandal was on aIR aMERICA today (aIR aMERICA = HUGE chunk of isometric NaCl). And, though I disagree with Bush's pholisophy on this and many other things, it's my understanding that signing statements are not interpreted as law. Perhaps I'm wrong (wouldn't be the first time).

Anonymous said...

NL, for the benefit of those who don't spend the day sweating it out in the fever swamps of firedoglake, why don't you provide a link for your assertion that Bush authorized the Feds to open everyone's mail for no reason...

Only for you Shady here although I don't recall asserting Bush is opening everyone's mail for no reason.

Anonymous said...

That reminds me of this exchange from the Simpsons:

Homer Simpson: Okay, boy. This is where all the hard work, sacrifice, and painful scaldings pay off.

Employee: Four pounds of grease...
that comes to... sixty-three cents.

Homer Simpson: Woo-hoo!

Bart Simpson: Dad, all that bacon cost twenty-seven dollars.

Homer Simpson: Yeah, but your mom paid for that!

Bart Simpson: But doesn't she get her money from you?

Homer Simpson: And I get my money from grease! What's the problem?

ShadyCharacter said...

Okay NL, you win, in Bush's Amerikkka ain't nobody safe! :)

Cedarford said...

What a clueless tool.

Perhaps Karma is true. All those dead Vietnam era soldiers he slimed as Ghengissss Kaaaahnnns made a deal with their Maker. We got your back, God, just as long as you proffer tidbits like the Presidency to the Ketchup Gigolo and snatch them away at the last minute. Oh, and make everyone understand Kerry is the self-centered, dumb, snotty sanctimonious prick he is before he finally drops dead in one of his 5 mansions or on his Lear Jet right into a pile of paperwork replete with Kerry instructions on "saving the Earth" obligations to recycle.

I sent all his many envelopes for soliciting Kerry for higher glories -- right to the trash to energy plant. Which is where most discarded paper in Massachusetts goes - not recycled.

Ann Althouse said...

Naked Lunch said Wow, in 2 days: 2 posts on Kerry, 2 posts on Hillary. One on Pelosi, and one on Obama.

One must be true:

1.) There isn't jack squat to talk about on the Republican side, or you've completely given up expecting anything from them.

2.) You have an unhealthy facsination with Democrats.

You're officially in The Wilderness now. I hope you brought a compass, food, and water. Because I think it will be a long long walk! And 2008 looks mighty bleak.


You seem to miss that I was favorable to Obama and that I wrote a long post yesterday lampooning Bush.

hdhouse said...

Ann...

and your long post lapooning bush was not missed believe me...but harpooning is more like it which was greated with even more happiness than I can tell you.

Call me Ismael

Anonymous said...

Why am I always picking on John Kerry? I don't know. I can't seem to help it.
[snip]
Also, how come I didn't get a card?


Is there a legal term for "self-evident?"

Alpha Liberal said...

Still can't shake that Kerry Derangement Syndrome, eh, Ann?

Have you had the integrity yet to admit you were completely wrong on your "Kerry eats alone" post?

It's been thoroughly debunked. He was purposely meeting with reporters away from other people. So, you will admit your mistake? (HA! RIGHT!)

Here's the latest

This has been another edition of "Shooting down right wing lies."

superclosetnerd said...

Some good posts and comments on here, glad I found it. I'm laying down a bookmark so I can come back later, I gotta go off to work now. My new site if anyone's interested (I don't really like it yet but I'm working on it and am new at it) --- fireplace