May 24, 2006

Is that a sex theme park?!

Now, in London, there's Amora, The Academy of Sex and Relationships. Oh, sex and relationships. Maybe you could imagine the rides at a sex theme park, but what the hell kind of rides would there be at a relationships theme park?
The 10,500sq-ft exhibit is designed to "separate fact from myth and educate everyone into being better lovers"....

The theme park will include life-sized silicone-made models which visitors can touch to discover erogenous zones.

People will also be able to build their ideal partner from a series of body parts and there will be instructions on how best to kiss and how to talk more sexily.

The seven zones will start with attraction, love and relationships and include a sexual well-being zone which looks at the dangers of unsafe sex.
For the love of Eros, it's a damned health class!

21 comments:

Jennifer said...

Oh sure get all scientific about it. That's sexy! WTF?

Besides, as if the uptight people - who really need the help - will be the types showing up at this park. Riiiiight!

Evan said...

It's probably funded by anti-sex factions, trying to co-opt sex by making it boring.

yetanotherjohn said...

"Maybe you could imagine the rides at a sex theme park, but what the hell kind of rides would there be at a relationships theme park?"

Maybe it would be like the "Its a small world" ride. Instead of floating endlessly on a litle boat having the song drummed into your head, a man would float endlessly on a little boat having a woman asking him if this dress makes her look fat.

tiggeril said...

Followed by the "No, it's ok, it happens to everyone" pavilion.

Ann Althouse said...

Evan: "Boring." And a lot of work. And deathly dangerous. You're right. It's a conspiracy.

Jennifer: You've put your finger on (a silicone model of) why no one should set foot in that place.

Yetanotherjohn: LOL.

Independent George said...

Man, I would not want to be the janitor at that place.

Drew W said...

Somehow this thread reminds me of a woman I saw at the Mercury Lounge in NYC about a dozen years ago. She was standing with her back to me, wearing a strapless dress or halter-top or some other sort of back-baring outfit. Tattooed across one of her shoulder blades was a thick black horizontal line about five inches across. Next to it was written: "You must be at least this tall to ride this ride."

Dawn said...

Wonder if they'll have the "Not tonight, I have a (insert excuse here) pavilion?

L. Ron Halfelven said...

People will also be able to build their ideal partner from a series of body parts....

First reaction: Ewwwwwww.
Second reaction: Are you limited to the usual complement or do they let you add as many breasts as you like?

Pogo said...

My favorite relationship ride?

Blunder Mountain Railroad is a roller coaster ride. You board a Minor Affection train that becomes a Lust Runaway. Big Blunder is a fairly smooth running one-track-mind of a rollercoaster with libido-coated wheels. It has a lot of tight turns, like when your parents walk in on you, or when the other girl you're kinda sorta dating sees you holding hands. There is a large and unusually scary moment when she says, "Let's just be friends", just after you go upside-down kissing her. Younger children will not enjoy this ride, especially if seated near teenagers, as there are girl cooties galore.

David Boyd said...

Brokespace Mountain. Your car is shaped like a sheep, it's dark, it gets really cold and all of a sudden there's a hand on your thigh.

SippicanCottage said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tibore said...

"The theme park will include life-sized silicone-made models which visitors can touch to discover erogenous zones."

Tibore: (Grabs passport, runs for the door)...

Joe said...

I am curious as to whether the silicone model will respond somehow when the erogenous zone is located... else, how do you know you hit the spot?

David53 said...

These are the funniest comments I've seen in a while, good job!

In the early 70s I took a sociology class which I believe was named "Human Sexuality." We watched a soft-porn movie, the instructor brought vibrators, edible underwear, fur mitts, feathers, and a variety of other interest sparkers for us to view and talk about. Do colleges still have these types of classes or is it just the academies and theme parks?

Susan Constanse said...

LOL!

It sounds like a right mess to me. I wonder about the housekeepers...

Maybe they should get combet pay.

Meade said...

"For the love of Eros..."

Oh that is good!

Tibore said...

Okay everyone! Blogging at you via a Boeing Connexion connection in the air headed for London, looking forward to...

Huh... what?...

"The theme park will include life-sized silicone-made models..."

What??? Silicone-made models? Models made entireley of silicone??!! THEY'RE NOT REAL??

AAAAAARRRRGGGHH!!!
(pounds keyboard, wails in despair) I thought... I thought... oh, man, NOOOOOOOOOO!.....

Uh...

Is that an air marshall with a tazer? Oh, ****, I think I'm scre...

Goesh said...

No viagra vendors on hand?? No booths for the flaccid?

SippicanCottage said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
David said...

Big deal! I have seen all that on a subway ride in New York!