August 21, 2005
The imperfect savage life.
Do you ever romanticize the caveman and think, yes, it might be all right to be a Neanderthal, and you then think of one modern product that you want so much that you can't even seriously contemplate the savage life anymore? For me it's Chapstick.
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9 comments:
I would only want to be a Neanderthal under a few circumstances:
(1) I could be frozen, reappear in our times, and become a lawyer, like Phil Hartman's recurring character on 'Saturday Night Live.' Or...
(2) I could be among the last vestiges of Neanderthals, living today, and enjoying an ongoing gig on the Geico commercials.
If I were forced to be a caveman in prehistoric times and could only have one modern product, I'd want either soap or a toothbrush.
Neanderthal - so if I kill it and drag it back to the cave, then the woman I dragged in by the hair has to clean it, cook it and serve it?
Where is my rocket launcher to go kill a couple T.Rex? (snicker)
Am fond of toilet paper and hand lotion, especially Burt's Bees. Also, restaurants so I don't have to cook. If I could be a rich neanderthal, though, and delegate, then I'd consider it!
1) Q-tips.
2) Ice cubes.
Mark's right; toothbrush is the only serious answer to this question. Not to disparage Q-Tips and chapstick. But come on.
Hmmm. Am willing to concede lotiony things because we could make a substitute from animal fats and essential oils. You can make soap too.
Toothbrushes have possibilities, assuming we had teeth that weren't ground away from chewing on stuff like hides or something.
Toilet paper still sounds good to me, though.
You had me set on the current time period at two words: "toilet paper." Not switching to leaves. No way.
Then again, maybe I'm just a huge nerd, but I wouldn't give up my computer. I think I would give up toilet paper before I would give up computers.
Roaring Tiger: Funny, I'd never pictured cavemen slathering themselves in animal fat! As for toilet paper, I think leaves must have been fine.
Ann,
Just watch out for the poison oak and poison ivy...
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