September 6, 2024

"And by the aughts, oversize teeth, white as a camera flash, suited the broader popular aesthetic of exaggerated perfection: larger breasts, smaller waists, and deeper fake tans."

"Jon Marashi, an L.A.-based dentist whose clients include Halsey, Ben Affleck, and Kate Hudson... noted that large white veneers appeared on the red carpet 'at that exact moment that you saw people wearing True Religion bell-bottom jeans. The flare couldn’t be big enough, and the pocket flaps could not have been more ornate.' These ostentatious teeth — 'obscene,' said Marashi — were also the result of too much demand. As veneers became more popular, Marashi continued, there weren’t enough skilled dentists and ceramicists to keep up, and people without the proper training began to fill the gap in the market. The results were often bulky and clumsy.... Blocky veneers became ubiquitous on reality TV, especially on dating shows like Love Island, where contestants were said to have 'Turkey teeth' — shells from cheap procedures in Eastern Europe.... In the past few years, the 'more is more' aesthetic has crested. Now it’s the Hollywood actors who have left their teeth alone who have a special charismatic pull...."

From "Jawbreakers/Young patients want beautifully imperfect veneers. They’re getting pain, debt, and regret" (NY Magazine).

The celebrities with their ridiculous veneers have access to the best dentists. The ordinary people who aspire to look like them are having some horrible experiences, detailed in the article. 

33 comments:

CJinPA said...

Lesson That Should Be Learned: Stop pursing pop culture fashion trends.
Lesson That Will Be Learned: This fashion trend is wrong. What else is out there?

traditionalguy said...

Veneers are expensive but worth it. They solve the chipped tooth gaps problem left over from youthful risk taking. Mine are now 14 years old and have never had a problem like the ceramic filler to the tooth chip area did.

traditionalguy said...

Veneers are expensive but worth it. They solve the chipped tooth gaps problem left over from youthful risk taking. Mine are now 14 years old and have never had a problem like the ceramic filler to the tooth chip area did.

Rocco said...

traditionalguy said…
Veneers are expensive but worth it.

Veneer! *drinks*
- (Frasier joke)

Wince said...

"Jawbreakers/Young patients want beautifully imperfect veneers. They’re getting pain, debt, and regret."

Oh, my peer, your veneer
Is wearing thin and cracking
The surface informs that underneath
The underneath is lacking


Bittersweet Me

You're so bitter, your complaint
I can't give you anything
I don't know who you're livin' for
I don't know who you are anymore

I'd sooner chew my leg off
Than be trapped in this
How easy you think of all of this as bittersweet me

I couldn't taste it
I'm tired and naked
I don't know what I'm hungry for
I don't know what I want anymore

I move across, candy floss
I move like a tank
I move across the room with a heart full of gloom
I'm stronger than you think

Oh, my peer, your veneer
Is wearing thin and cracking
The surface informs that underneath
The underneath is lacking

I'd sooner chew my leg off
Than be trapped in this
How easy you think of all of this as bittersweet me

Narr said...

"Pain, debt, and regret." Sounds like a country song title, and it couldn't be happening to a more deserving set of airheads.

Narr said...

I just made a comment that didn't post. That's the first time in a while that one got et by the system.

RideSpaceMountain said...

Go to Brazil. You can get all the cheap-but-decent plastic surgery and body mods you want, just be aware that there's zero warranty and virtually no legal-liability recourse for you if things go South.

Leslie Graves said...

I had to stop reading. That poor girl.

The rule of Lemnity said...

I don’t remember what year it was exactly but Denzel Washington’s teeth stood out to me, perfectly sculpted and white as Alaska snow. I haven’t been to Alaska but I’d imagine the snow up there free of pollution.

tim maguire said...

The blindly white teeth that actors have is dumb and sometimes distracting. I look forward to seeing normal teeth again. The kind of teeth anyone can get with braces when they were a teenager.

ron winkleheimer said...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_f6vMAp8Oqw

Zavier Onasses said...

If it aint broke, dont fix it. Applies to tattoos, body piercing, nearly all cosmetic surgery. Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things that should not be changed....

Dogma and Pony Show said...

And you cant even post shit about it on X.

cb said...

Fashion = be the first in your neighborhood to conform.

Jupiter said...

Yeah, that's how I felt. How do you get to where that sounds like a good idea?

Josephbleau said...

My parents were not Doctors or Lawyers so I never got braces for my horrible teeth, that got cracked and chipped with time, (Ohh, how tearful). I just got some for $8k because it got so bad i had to do something, even though my investment has fewer years left to generate a positive value flow and my mouth will probably be closed at the funeral.

Freeman Hunt said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bob Boyd said...

Now there's a desperate shortage of dentists skilled in veneer removal. Teary-eyed and toothy, the not-yet-rich-and-famous are getting fucked up on fentanyl and tearing their own veneers off with screw drivers and vise-grip pliers.
Hollywood's sidewalks are crunchy with cast-off shells from cheap procedures in Eastern Europe.
Environmentalists report a 10 acre, blindingly white, floating island has formed in the Pacific Ocean made almost entirely of homeless veneers rattling and gleaming in the sun.

rehajm said...

What I thought bit did not post

William said...

Teeth are far and away the worst engineered part of the human body. If any other part of the human body were subject to such decay and deterioration as teeth, we'd all be dead by thirty. I've spent my life going to dentists. Filling, another filling, then root canal and cap, then extraction and bridge, and finally implants. It never ends, and it gets increasingly expensive. Those implants don't always work. It took three tries before one of them took--and it will probably perish in a few years. I'm pretty sure tooth decay keeps going on after you die.. There's a branch of dentistry that specializes in cadavers. It's very big in Hollywood.

PM said...

The long hair of the now.

Narr said...

Hours later, there it is.

Narr said...

The modern agriculture-based diet is responsible for a lot of dental troubles, apparently.

I needed a lot of work done on my lower teeth, and priced implants--20K for a long and potentially painful process, and no guarantee of success. Now I sport a partial, with two pretend teeth on the left and three on the right. For about 1/10th the price.

But I often forget to wear it for days at a time.

effinayright said...

Heh

effinayright said...

"Teeth are far and away the worst engineered part of the human body."

I think women who have undergone childbirth would disagree with you on that.

NKP said...

After 70+ years of drill/fill and far more exotic/painful/expensive procedures, I went all-in for the white and bright at the end of the tunnel. Wish I'd done it 20 years sooner. Out with ALL of the old and in with brand new pearly whites.

The $80K my neighbor paid for his bought very nice but not, GREAT. The $20K I paid for mine in Cancun bought GREAT! And, it included two flights in 1st class, and two ten-day stays in very nice apartment on the water. Everything in Mexico was on sale during Covid. Food cost was minimal as all I could eat was soup/refried beans/guacamole.

I was prepared to walk and enjoy a vacay if the clinic caused concern. I knew I was in the right place immediately. Qualifications, skills, professionalism and equipment/materials were all top-of-the-line and state-of-the-art. All-on-six, top and bottom. Lots of chair time. Endless adjustments. When I walked out with my new "teeth", I had tears in my eyes. Kind of a "born again" thing. One hundred percent functional, comfortable and good-looking. Never a hint that these are not my own "perfect" teeth.

Bonus was dozens of new pals (vendors lining my two-block route to the clinic). First couple of days they pressed hard to sell me t-shirts, family heirlooms and the like. Confronted with my toothless grin, they understood I was spending all my pesos at the dentist and just greeted me with "How's it going?". When I walked the gauntlet after all was done, I flashed a big bright smile and before I was halfway through, everyone was in front of their stall applauding and offering drinks and snacks. That, alone, was priceless.

Not a commercial for medical tourism. Not every result is as good as mine. I'm borderline intrepid and pretty comfortable traveling solo in the far-away. I also spent a couple of years as director of public communications for a huge medical organization (clinical and R&D). I don't know medicine but I do know medical practice.

lgv said...

Being in the aesthetics business, the worst outcomes are from 1) excess and 2) provider skill. This covers dental work, plastic surgery, and cosmetic injections.

Excess is unnatural, e.g. super white teeth, EEE breasts, massive upper lips. Not only do they scream "fake", more is not better and can lead to further procedures. Normal lips are 70/30, with 70% being the lower lip. When you go 50/50, it just looks weird. All body adjustments should maintain proper proportion.

Provider skill is a key factor. Just watch the show "Botched". We have worked with many plastic surgeons and they are not equal. In Texas, any doctor can create a plastic surgery practice. No experience necessary. If you read NKP's post, you may even think Mexico is the solution to cost. It may be, but the rate of disaster is way higher. I live in Mexico 5 months a year and can tell you horror stories (and success stories). It's all hit and miss. The miss rate is higher in Mexico, as is the post operative infection rate.

Get reasonably straight white teeth with Invisaline and Crest strips. Save the veneers for when you really have to have them, hopefully later in life.

Jonathan Burack said...

Emmielou Harris, "High Powered Love": "Now is there anyone left with teeth just a little uneven. Who won't spend more time a mirror than he does with me."

Narr said...

"Teeth are far and away the worst engineered part of the human body."

'I think women who have undergone childbirth would disagree with you on that.'

It was the worst of parts, it was the best of parts.

walter said...

AOC has no comment.

donald said...

I went to Algadones. You’re right, best thing I ever did for myself, and yeah I damn near cried. Now, I’m 64, perfect teeth and hair that has just a slight touch of grey finally showing itself.

donald said...

I went to Algadones. You’re right, best thing I ever did for myself, and yeah I damn near cried. Now, I’m 64, perfect teeth and hair that has just a slight touch of grey finally showing itself.