March 13, 2024

Dinkwads.

"No, not dickwads — although, I hear you — but dinkwads: the acronym for 'dual income, no kids, with a dog,' a designation going viral on a social media site near you.... I am particularly fond of @MattAndOmar jumping for joy in their pants, waving their pooch’s little arms: 'When we remember we’ll be a dinkwad household forever.' Terence and I jump for joy in our pants all the time. And nothing wobbles, because I am a child-free adventuress, taut of thigh and upstanding of breast, and my beloved is a 6ft 4in man-god with all his own hair and a backside as tight as a walnut. He tosses his hair as we dance, and I toss mine, and Pimlico, our media whippet, tosses hers, and we laugh as only child-free lifestyle gurus can laugh — musically, like the tinkling of so many wind chimes...."


The "dinkwads" slang I can absorb, but what's up with that "in their/our pants"?

61 comments:

Kate said...

Wait a minute. We've been using the term dinkwad forever. It's never been an acronym... has it?

Old and slow said...

Times.co.uk, so "in their pants" means wearing underwear, not trousers. Or so I would imagine. It sounds like a very shallow life, and that seems perfectly suited to some people.

CJinPA said...

They insist upon themselves so. That's who they're trying to convince: themselves.

kylos said...

They're British, so they're not actually wearing any pants, only their underpants.

NorthOfTheOneOhOne said...

The "dinkwads" slang I can absorb, but what's up with that "in their/our pants"?

No clue, but keep in mind, "pants" is Brit-speak for underwear.

RideSpaceMountain said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
RideSpaceMountain said...

I look at this from a slightly different perspective. In the not-too-distant future when inflation is at 25,000%, the Pound is worthless, and welfare becomes non-existent they'll at least be able to eat the dog.

Quaestor said...

A pair of ASPICs -- arrogantly stupid people indefectibly childless.

Iman said...

I Me Mine I Me Mine I Me Mine

Patrick Henry was right! said...

God help us all. The narcissism in today's village idiots is very strong.

Wince said...

...I am a child-free adventuress, taut of thigh and upstanding of breast, and my beloved is a 6ft 4in man-god with all his own hair and a backside as tight as a walnut. He tosses his hair as we dance, and I toss mine...

"Look at me. Look at me. Don't look at anybody else. Don't look at the fat ass losers or freaks... You look at me!"

MadisonMan said...

Age is waiting for their taut thighs and walnut-tight backsides.

Big Mike said...

Writes Hannah Betts, in "We’re ‘dinkwads’ and proud of it — it’s the new normal.”

Low sperm count? Lack of libido?

Leland said...

I understand being a Dink. I don't understand being a Wad. I happen to be a Dink now, because my "kids" are older enough to have their own. Indeed, one kid is part of a Dink and the other part of a Dinkwad.

This tells me more about the Wad, which I focus then on the quoted section: "because I am a child-free adventuress". No! You have a dog. Like a child, you need to care for the dog, even if, like a child, you can take it on adventures. You don't take the child on all adventures because maybe they are not ready for them. But unlike the dog, the child one day can be ready for them. The dog either is or is not capable of being on the adventure.

I'm a Dink because I want to go on adventures without worrying about having to care for a dependent, whether a child or dog. I also had the joy of enjoying children, and sometimes they join on my adventures now, and we are all the better for it.

As for Althouse, I wonder if the MLB pants has her fascinated about people in pants, or what's inside them.

Quaestor said...

"And nothing wobbles"

Give it a few years, precious. Things will wobble. Man-god's hair will gray and thin. The dog will eventually die and so will your eggs. However, man-god's sperm will remain at least somewhat potent. His latent desire for a legacy will cause his eye to wander from your slackening thigh and slouching breast unto more fertile fields, if you know what I mean.

Quaestor rarely recommends a movie as a fount of wisdom, but Hannah impresses him not as a reader of wise books, therefore Ms. Betts is directed to an important film that speaks directly to her fantasies: Best in Show, particularly the dinkwads, Hamilton and Meg Swan. (Be sure to secure your expensive dental work before viewing. The shock of recognition may cause your chin to hit the floor.)

There is a bright side to Hannah Bett's lifestyle -- no child will inherit her genes or suffer her inordinate self-esteem. The dark side is the lives of the dogs that follow Pimlico into Betts' absurd custody.

Yancey Ward said...

No one will lament their passing when it comes.

Sebastian said...

"I am a child-free adventuress"

To be taken care of by other people's children, at other people's chilldren's expense, when the time comes.

Quaestor said...

Wonderfully co-minded are Wince and Quaestor on this subject.

Fred Drinkwater said...

Having helped support four elderly relatives (so far) through age and end-of-life care, with the fine and considerate aid of government agencies (Snort...) I wish them luck without their own descendants around them.

Fred Drinkwater said...

Also, in pickleball, a "dinkwad" is a player who can't dink. At least, that's the local court slang.

Chanie said...

Hate to break it to you, Hannah, but your tits are gonna sag and he’s going to lose his hair eventually anyway.

Narr said...

I thought it was funny.

Narr said...

Is there a chance they dance like they have ants in their pants?



tim maguire said...

There's something quite sad about people who try so hard prove they're happy.

Larry J said...

Another group of people voluntarily eliminating themselves from the gene pool. Perhaps that's for the best, all things considered.

wildswan said...

" I am particularly fond of @MattAndOmar jumping for joy in their pants, waving their pooch’s little arms: 'When we remember we’ll be a dinkwad household forever.'"

Scene shows two dinkwads jumping. Announcer's voice comes on sounding like a dying beneath th music from a farther room or sounding like tinkling cymbals: "Nostalgic for now in the now? Asking "and may we be forever young?" Yes, my friends, you, too, using the magic of AI, can be forever young. You can look forward forever to posting the same jumps with the same lack of wobble and the same dog. Only your hair will be a distinguished gray as you laugh like a tinkling wind chime. And even if he's left you, you can still post the two of you jumping. He can't escape the AI life you impose on him. As it says in the Ode to a Grecian Urn: 'Forever wilt thou love me/ And I be fair but an ally.' So, transfer $39.67 to The Dinkwad Channel, 2024 Burnt Street, Portland, Oregon and we'll enable the download of the AI Age Atomizer right to your VR mask. "FREE TO BE BOTH YOU AND ME!!!!!!" Only $39.67 plus $300 sales tax.

Breezy said...

Thankfully, some youthful but nonetheless wise people choose not to procreate.

Tina Trent said...

I'd hate to live in the apartment below these idiots.

Ice Nine said...

>Yancey Ward said...
No one will lament their passing when it comes.<

Just out of curiosity, how can that possibly matter to them, or to anyone?

SoLastMillennium said...

So are Single Income, No kids, with Cat(s) safe from ridicule?

SoLastMillennium said...

So are Single Income, No kids, with Cat(s) safe from ridicule?

Howard said...

Think of the neighbors in Xmas Vacation. The wife is Elaine Bennis of Seinfeld fame.

Earnest Prole said...

Set up your life however you wish and my response will be “good for you,” but the way you talk about it seems kinda childlike.

Leland said...

Sinkwcs are all too common. The income is always single and the cats are always plural.

Steve said...

And in 30-40 years they will lament that nobody who cares about them is around to help them out as the inevitable physical decline sets in....

PM said...

If they don't want kids, they don't have what it takes to have them.

Dagwood said...

Regardless of the acronym, it sounds like they're still a pair of dickwads.

selfanalyst said...

I am hoping some day that those who fail to produce one median taxpayer are denied benefits from the Social Security system. They didn't pay their fair share!

JAORE said...

To each his or her or zir (?) own. But stop trying so damned hard to sell your personal choice as a solution we all should gleefully adopt.

Personal side note: I tell my kids, and now grand kids, some of the signs of maturity in my mind. One principle sign is the ability to focus on the future when making decisions. Short or long term consequences can snowball. Sure getting hammered that party Wednesday night might be fun to you, but how will you appear at work the next day in front of the boss. Sure, pay check to paycheck lets you have those Air Jordan's but how much have you put away for XXXX?

These people apparently can't see past age 40 for any subject.

Kevin said...

No, not dickwads

Dickwads: Double Income Choosing Kidlessness With A Dog

FullMoon said...

Years ago, saw a Whippets owner along with a pest control guy chasing the dog down the street. Pest guy apparently left gate open. Dog looked happy, men, not so much.
Probably still trying to catch that dog.

ALP said...

Sitting on a walnut sounds awful. Why brag about it?

n.n said...

Married with canine?

JK Brown said...

Steve said...
And in 30-40 years they will lament that nobody who cares about them is around to help them out as the inevitable physical decline sets in....


Yes, they will have the old age of most men. Remember, if men do marry and have children, there is a high percentage who are divorced and have their kids turned against them. So, they will have the life of a man.

But she's tied up one of the rare, but highly sought after, 6'4" men. But she's not allowing him to breed. The Women of Tik Tok are not amused.

Deevs said...

Whoa, pump the brakes. Their dog has arms?

Narayanan said...

in many cultures children are part of 'retirement income portfolio'

hopefully DINK can rely on retirement income by savings in whichever soceity they are

Joe Smith said...

Somebody tell her hubby is gay...

Michael said...

"...child-free lifestyle gurus..."
In other words, totally useless people.

Big Mike said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tomcc said...

And their legacy will be this piece in the Times of London. C'est La Vie.

Aggie said...

"Edging away my chair, I catch the eye roll of the gay man sitting opposite. “Enough of the breast pumping!” he declares. “Let’s talk about Betts, her hot man and even hotter hound.”

The hot man named Terrence. Well..... The picture does them justice, which is not to say, kindness. It looks like a fair whack of the double income goes toward, how to say it, enhancements of the surgical kind, at second tier rates.

They're excruciating now, in a few more years they'll be so insufferable, the kids they don't have will be sending Thank You notes.

Poor dog.

Rabel said...

"I've been on antidepressents for 13 years."

- Hannah Betts

She is, as they say, a piece of work.

n.n said...

Net-Zero: one male child, one female child

They're doing it wrong.

Richard Fagin said...

"[T]aut of thigh and upstanding of breast, and my beloved is a 6ft 4in man-god with all his own hair and a backside as tight as a walnut..." I was going to comment on the jaw-dropping self absorption of that phrase, but when an article heading is substantively about "dinkwads", it wasn't really necessary to read it to figure that out about author.

Mikey NTH said...

So they are Dual Income Childless Kidless With A Dog?

Andrew said...

Dinkwads = Yuppies

Mikey NTH said...

JAORE: One thing I say is You know yo are an adult when you have bought spare lightbulbs.

Though with led bulbs that doesn't come up so much.

Fred Drinkwater said...

Jaore, I'll have you know that I have a full suite of spare incandescent, pigtail fluorescent, and LED bulbs.

Inferences might be drawn...

Iman said...

Hubby: "Your presence intimidates me to the point of humiliation. Would you care to strike me?"

Rusty said...

Poor dog. Maybe being childless is for the best in their case.

jpg said...

I guess I'm a sinkwad.